Surviving A Novel I Don't Remember: A Tutor's Guide To Staying Alive

Julian couldn’t find the proper rhythm of his breathing. It was hard, like the airways had been clogged.

It made his chest tight, and his body went even more rigid.

But even as he watched the worried faces of the children, he did not speak of this.

"It’s... nothing." He didn’t want the children to worry.

This attack will go away soon, he believed. He just needed a moment to breathe after his heart had been hammering so dangerously just now.

"I’ll be fine... in a moment," But that wasn’t what the cold beads of sweat appearing on his head said. "Just... hah... give me a moment."

It was an embarrassing sight to show to the children who had looked up to him. A pathetic weak side.

But he could not do anything about it.

Julian rested his back on the pillow, his body stiff and his chest heaving up and down in a hard rhythm.

He really just needed a moment to catch his breath, and after that... after that.

Without realizing it, as the children watched him silently and the peace returned, Julian fell asleep.

It was more like he fainted after his heart had finally fallen at ease. 𝗳𝚛𝗲𝕖𝕨𝕖𝗯𝚗𝚘𝕧𝕖𝗹.𝗰𝗼𝕞

The silence that followed Julian’s sudden loss of consciousness was heavier than the chaos that had preceded it.

One moment, he was gasping for air, his eyes wide and trembling with unease; the next, his head dropped back against the pillows, his grip on his chest finally loosening as his body gave in to sheer exhaustion.

The three children stood frozen, a small, worried circle around the bed.

Liora leaned in closer, her golden hair spilling over her shoulders as she peered at Julian’s motionless face.

"Is he... dead?" she asked, her voice hushed with a blunt, childlike curiosity.

Lucius snapped a glare at her, his blue eyes flashing with a sudden, protective flare.

It was a look that clearly warned her not to say such unlucky things about his tutor.

Cassian, standing with his arms crossed to hide the slight trembling of his hands, supported the silent rebuke.

"He’s still breathing, Liora," he muttered, his brow furrowed in a scowl of genuine concern. "Don’t wish our Master ill."

Liora’s lower lip trembled just a little, but she pouted, trying to hide her own unease.

"I’m not wishing! I just don’t know how else to interpret it," she whispered. "He was talking, and then he just... went away. Sick people don’t usually do that unless they’re gone."

Lucius pouted, peering his face closer to her to warn her once again. She was saying nonsense, his eyes said, and then he turned back to look at Julian.

"Master should be asleep," Cassian said. "He is exhausted and sick." He gazed at the bandaged thigh. "So we should let him rest and not disturb him."

Lucius focused on the immediate problem. He reached out, his small hand hovering over Julian’s before he gently tucked the displaced silk sheets around his teacher’s shoulders.

He looked like a miniature version of his father, the Duke—efficient, silent, and fiercely territorial while taking care of his own person.

Cassian watched for a while, but then he changed his mind from just letting the tutor rest.

What if this were actually life-threatening and Julian could die in his sleep? He wondered.

He recalled that his mother, the queen, was sick. She was frail, pale, and had gone lean. Each time she fell asleep, he always worried that it would be her last.

And right now, he was getting that same feeling from the tutor.

"We should call for a doctor," Cassian said, stepping closer.

"Is that a good idea?" Liora asked, and he looked at the door where the Golden Guard Order stood guard outside and then twisted his small lips.

"If we call the Imperial physicians, they’ll report everything to Father."

"Is it bad if they report to father?" Liora asked innocently.

The children had no idea of the friction going on between the Duke, the Emperor, and Julian.

But Cassian could somewhat feel that the tutor was not exactly happy with the placement of being a Royal Tutor, and might be having issues with their father.

That was why their father sent Marquis Astrea to come get Julian.

He was smart enough to figure that out.

"I don’t know." He said. "But it seems like Master doesn’t want anyone near him."

Liora tilted her head, her abstract mind already spinning in a different direction.

"Then we’ll just have to be the doctors." She said, "Lucius can do the water, and you can... be the boss of the guards. I’ll watch the door."

"You’ll fall asleep in five minutes," Cassian countered, but the bite was gone from his voice. He looked at Julian, then at Lucius.

And then, he muttered under his breath, loud enough for the other two to hear, but not intentionally looking for an answer,

"Master Astrea... why does everyone want to take you so badly?"

Lucius didn’t answer. He simply sat on the edge of the bed, guarding the space between Julian and the rest of the world.

"Then, Lucius," Liora called. "Will you help wipe the Masters’ sweat?"

Lucius immediately nodded. There was nothing he wouldn’t do.

And so, the children began to take on their roles.

Cassian reduced the Golden Guard Order to errand boys who went about getting water, cloth, and other things Lucius needed while Liora watched from the side, next to Lucius.

She had never done such a menial task, but it looked like Lucius knew how to do it well.

After watching his father do it a couple of times, he reenacted the same treatment, squeezing the rag with his small hand and dabbing the sweat.

Once he was done, Liora helped him wipe the sweat from his forehead with her handkerchief and smiled at him.

"Then, while we let Master rest, shall we get to know each other properly?"

Soon, outside, the distant sound of galloping horses began to vibrate through the stone floor of the estate.

The Duke was coming back, and he wasn’t going to like the situation once he heard of it.