Surviving A Novel I Don't Remember: A Tutor's Guide To Staying Alive

Theo pulled back, his chest still heaving, and noticed it immediately.

Alias hadn’t even noticed; he was too busy marveling at the weight of Theo’s head on his shoulder, his mind still drifting in the afterglow of his own release.

​"Alias," Theo murmured, his voice dropping into a tone that was thick and syrupy. "Look at you. You’re already wanting more."

​Alias blinked, looking down at himself in genuine surprise. "Oh. I... I didn’t feel it happen. Is this because you are close? My body... it doesn’t seem to want to stay quiet anymore."

​Theo felt a surge of possessive pride. He had done that. Alias was reacting to him.

​He stared at Alias’s rigid dick. This time, he didn’t want to just use his hands. He wanted to show Alias a different kind of devotion—one that involved every part of him.

​"Stay still," Theo whispered.

​He shifted his body, moving downward until he was kneeling between Alias’s legs. Alias watched him, his silver eyes widening as he realized Theo wasn’t reaching with his hands.

​"Theo? What are you—"

​He didn’t get to finish the question when Theo leaned down, his breath hot against Alias’s skin, and pressed a lingering kiss to the very top of Alias’s dick.

​Alias gasped so sharply, and his body stiffened, as if a lightning bolt had struck him. "Theo! That... your mouth... It’s so warm. Why are you using your mouth?" He asked with a shuddering breath, but ​Theo didn’t answer with words.

He took Alias into his mouth, his tongue swirling around the sensitive tip before sliding deeper.

The sensation was unlike anything Alias had ever imagined. The hands had been friction and pressure, and it had felt good, but this wet warmth wrapped around him—a suction that felt like it was drawing the very soul out of his body... was beyond the pleasure from the hand.

​"Mmm... Theo!" Alias cried out, his fingers tangling desperately in Theo’s dark hair, pulling him closer even as the intensity of the feeling made him want to run. "It’s... It’s too much. I can’t... haaa..."

​Theo ignored the plea, his hands gripping Alias’s hips to hold him steady. He was relentless, his mouth moving with a rhythmic, hungry focus, as if he was begging the semen to spill out. As if he was begging to taste his seeds.

He wanted Alias to feel every bit of the ’heat’ he carried. He wanted to drown Alias in the pleasure he was capable of giving.

​Alias was a mess of silver hair and flushed skin, his head tossing from side to side on the mat. Being loved by another man in the quiet of their own home was unlike anything he had ever imagined.

And then he found himself asking. Why do gods not love? Why do gods not embrace each other like this and feel this sort of pleasure?

Norx, he thought. He wished Norx could share this bliss, this feeling, with someone he liked one day.

Alias had no idea that Norx already understood this feeling, even if he hadn’t felt it. But the one he had these feelings for was a god who never understood the look in his eyes.

Alias could not think any further as the pressure built in his lower abdomen like a coil for the second time. This time, it was faster and even more violent; maybe it was because it felt so good in Theo’s mouth.

Alias’s toes curled, his legs shaking as he felt the coil wind up tighter, ready to snap.

​"Theo, I’m... I’m going to..."

​Theo didn’t pull away. He stayed right there, taking every bit of Alias’s semen as it came, his eyes looking up to lock onto Alias’s hazy, silver gaze.

The intimacy of it was staggering. Alias felt a tear slip from the corner of his eye—not from sadness, but from the sheer, overwhelming weight of being eaten out so completely.

​As Theo finally sat up, releasing Alias’s dick, he licked his lips with a dark, satisfied smirk.

Alias could only lie there, his heart drumming a frantic rhythm in his chest.

​"That," Theo whispered, crawling back up to kiss the corner of his head, "is how I feel about you. I want to take in every inch of you."

​Alias’s eyes were burning a bright silver, like there were flecks in them as he stared at the ceiling, breathless. "I think... I think I finally understand what you meant," he whispered into Theo’s skin. "About wanting to belong to someone completely."

The heat in the room slowly began to settle, replaced by the cool, evening air drifting through the window.

Theo eventually pulled away, his breath finally evening out, though his gaze remained fixed on Alias.

He reached for a clean piece of the sand-colored linen they had used for the tents, dipping it into a basin of fresh water he had brought in earlier.

With a tenderness that felt like a silent apology, he began to wipe the drying semen from Alias’s stomach and thighs.

Alias watched him, his silver eyes still hazy and heavy-lidded. He didn’t feel the shame that Theo was currently drowning in; he only felt the soothing coolness of the cloth and the lingering hum of his own nerves.

"You are so thorough," Alias whispered, his voice still a bit raspy.

"I don’t want you sleeping in a mess," Theo muttered, his eyes fixed on the task so he wouldn’t have to meet Alias’s gaze. 𝑓𝑟𝑒𝘦𝓌𝑒𝑏𝑛𝑜𝘷𝑒𝘭.𝒸𝘰𝑚

He cleaned his own skin next, the movements more hurried, more dismissive than what he had just done for Alias.

He felt like he was scrubbing away more than just the physical evidence of their passion; he was trying to scrub away the weight of the lie that felt like it was growing larger the more Alias looked at him with that pure, untainted love.

Once they were clean, Theo pulled a thick, woven blanket over both of them. He gathered Alias into his arms, tucking the silver-haired man’s head beneath his chin.

"Sleep, Moon-boy," Theo whispered, kissing the top of his head.

"Goodnight, Theo," Alias murmured, his hand finding Theo’s heart and resting there. Within minutes, the exhaustion of the day and the intensity of the night claimed him, and his breathing became deep and steady.

But sleep didn’t come for Theo. He lay there in the dark, staring at the wooden beams of the ceiling.

Every time he felt the steady beat of Alias’s heart against his palm, the word ’No’ echoed in his head. ’No, I haven’t done this before.’ It was a heavyweight. He had wanted their start to be perfect, but he had built the foundation on a shadow of the past.

I’ll tell him tomorrow, Theo thought, though he knew he wouldn’t. Or the day after. Just not now. Not while he looks at me like I’m the only sun in his sky.

The lie he had told made him uncomfortable, but he just... didn’t want to ruin what they had.

High above, in the silent, crystalline halls of the heavens, Norx stood by the celestial railing, his red eyes burning with a cold, analytical fury.

He didn’t need to guess Theo’s heart; he could read the guilt radiating off the mortal like a foul scent.

"You see that, Alias?" Norx hissed, his voice a low vibration that rippled through the constellations. "He holds you and dreams of his deceits. He tastes your light and hides his dirt in the corners of his mind."

Norx gripped the Southern Scroll, his fingers twitching toward the section where Alias had painted the oasis. He looked at the tiny, flickering lights of the house—a symbol of the ’home’ Alias had secured.

He had watched as they moaned into each other’s arms, the mortal touching Alias’s skin, and he felt his blood boil. Theo had officially become his enemy.

"Humans do not love, Alias. They possess. They steal, they lie, and they deceive because they are fragile, broken things," Norx whispered, a cruel smile touching his lips. "Maybe if you get hurt—truly, deeply hurt by the one you’ve lowered yourself for—your eyes will finally open. You will see that paradise cannot be built with mud and lies."

But despite his rage and jealousy, he didn’t strike yet. He was a patient god. He watched Alias sleeping peacefully, having a contented smile and a vision for the future. His brows furrowed, his heart ached, and he wished the one whose arms Alias felt contented in was his.

He turned his head away. He hadn’t been so obvious with his feelings as Theo was, but he hoped Alias could have seen it.

But even if Alias had seen it, he wouldn’t have responded the same way he did with Theo.

He would’ve taken it like one of Norx’s jokes. And that part hurt the most.

He watched as Theo finally drifted into a fitful sleep, still clutching Alias as if he were a prize he had stolen.

"I’ll give you a little more time to believe in your fairy tale," Norx murmured, his gaze shifting toward a distant part of the desert where a small, malnourished figure was stumbling through the sand toward the scent of water. "And then, I’ll let the truth tear it down."