Surviving A Novel I Don't Remember: A Tutor's Guide To Staying Alive

"Or are you still ill?"

Kim Jowoon could not answer. He simply put up a smile and said,

"I never get sick, so don’t worry about me. Now, what were you saying?"

"Ah, I was asking..." he began to talk, and Kim Jowoon responded ideally.

Yes, this life was perfect. It was very quiet, and his life was not in danger in any way.

But then, what was this nagging in his chest? Why did he feel like he was forgetting something very important?

After school, after bidding his students and colleagues goodbye, he returned to his house.

As soon as he opened the door, he came face to face with the peaceful life he had cultivated for years.

The familiar music that grounded his weekends was playing softly, and everything was arranged just as he left it.

His collection of plants was just by the window, and the books he read to pass the time were neatly stacked next to them.

Everything was perfect.

But then... Why did he still feel hollow?

"I should take a bath and cheer up." He went to take his bath and came out refreshed. He sat on his bed, picking up his laptop, but the first thing he saw in the ’How to understand kids better’ show, was a device that helped mute children communicate better.

He smiled warmly.

"Lucius would really like this," he said subconsciously, but then his body jolted, and his eyes widened.

Lucius? Who was Lucius?

He got up, the laptop clattering on the floor as it fell off his lap.

He dropped his hand on the wall, leaning his weight into it as his breath came out ragged.

This familiar sensation, he knew it. And Lucius... Lucius was the Duke’s son. The Duke... Lucien... What was going on?

The world began to tilt, and he saw the broken, body-sized mirror on the side, reflecting a world that was completely different from his own.

And that world had Lucien and Lucius staring at him with sad expressions on their faces.

Kim Jowoon’s breath hitched; he grabbed his chest, a fake and remorseful laugh escaping his lips.

That’s right... This world, this perfect and ordinary life, was not real. He lost it a long time ago when he died.

This was an illusion. The real world was over there, in the mirror.

Slowly, he walked towards the mirror, lifting his trembling hand to reach for it. Then, a hand reached out and pulled him in.

It was like being pulled into a black sea.

His senses got flooded, but he wasn’t drowning. He could breathe just fine, and he wasn’t soaked either.

Then, the system window flickered in front of him, opening up a blank blue screen and illuminating the darkness just a bit.

What’s going on? He wondered. Wasn’t that all a dream?

He was sure he had been sucked into a happy memory in his dream, but even as he realized it wasn’t real, he did not wake up.

Why wasn’t he waking up? And what was with the blank screen of the system window?

"What are you trying to tell me?" Kim Jowoon asked.

> [Sigh...]

The system just... sighed?

Kim Jowoon blinked, confused.

> [Kim Jowoon, didn’t you like the dream?]

Kim Jowoon was beyond confused, but he could tell the system was trying to make a conversation with him.

"What do you mean?"

> [You wanted a peaceful life, wanted a life where you didn’t have to worry about survival and teach your students in peace, so why did you break the illusion? Is the chaos in the capital something you secretly enjoy?]

Kim Jowoon went silent for a second, trying to understand exactly what this was, and then he asked,

"Did you create that dream?" He asked. "That illusion?" 𝕗𝕣𝐞𝐞𝘄𝐞𝚋𝚗𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗹.𝚌𝕠𝚖

> [Yes!]

"Why?" He asked again, narrowing his eyes. "Why did you try to trap me in an illusion?"

> [Isn’t that what you want, though?]

"What?"

> [You’ve suffered this last week. You’ve realized that it’s hard to live in this world and have gotten tired. Shouldn’t you feel more solace by staying in a familiar and safe space?]

"Creating a safe space in my dream is one thing, but I can’t sleep forever and will definitely wake up. Once I wake up, what then? Do I try to act like the world moving around me doesn’t exist?"

> [...]

"Besides, the one week was definitely hard on me, but I endured, not so I could fall into a deep slumber and reminisce on my past life." He clenched his fists. "I endured so I could be with the Duke again. There’s no point in me enduring so much psychological torment, only to fall into an illusion. That’s not gonna work."

> [Why are you stubborn? Just live in the illusion forever.]

"Are you kidding me?!"

> [The Duke was never a part of your world before now, so why are you insisting on it?]

"Hah!" Kim Jowoon was flabbergasted. What was the system saying now? Was it crazy? "Look here, you’re spouting nonsense. And now that I have the chance, I’m going to say the things I’ve been holding back. You fucking system," he was so mad he cursed at the system.

Then, he reached his hands out and gripped both sides of the window, and thankfully, it worked.

"How can you say you’re my aid to survival when you keep giving me impossible quests with no real way to complete them?! Do you know how many times I nearly died? Do you know how much I’ve had to suffer? Survival points? Bullshit! You’re just exploiting me in this damn unknown plot."

Kim Jowoon poured out all his frustration on the system, gripping it so hard that the window had a crack.

> [Hey, hey, be careful with that. You’re going to break me.]

"If you break, then it’s good for me. You’ve only ever added to my headache, taunting and mocking me with my decreasing mental state pop-ups. I HAVE HAD IT WITH YOU!"

If he could destroy the system itself, he would, but that seemed impossible.

Then, after pouring his heart out relentlessly, he called down, letting go of the window, which was now zittering with the broken edges.

"I’ve suffered so much." Kim Jowoon said, his voice softer now, with hurt in his eyes. "You’d better reward me accordingly for this quest this time once I wake up. I survived the one-week quest, after all."