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The question hit like a sniper round. "What?"

"Your type. For girls." She swallowed. Smiled. "I’m just curious."

Jordan felt like he’d just triggered a boss fight cutscene.

Three pairs of female eyes locked onto him. Kumiko with that innocent curiosity that wasn’t innocent at all. Alexis with detached interest like she was watching a science experiment. Chloe with something sharper. Something that said wrong answer equals sleeping on the couch for a week.

His brain scrambled for the diplomatic response. The safe response. The answer that wouldn’t blow up in his face.

"I like a nice girl with a big ass."

Fuck.

The words hung in the air like a grenade with the pin pulled.

Kyle choked on his soju. Started coughing so hard Leo had to slap his back.

Kumiko’s eyes went wide. Her mouth formed a perfect O.

Alexis’s expression didn’t change. She just raised one eyebrow. Slow. Controlled.

Chloe turned to look at him fully. Her face was blank. Completely blank.

Jordan’s survival instincts kicked in approximately three seconds too late. "That’s a joke. I’m joking."

"Are you though?" Alexis’s voice came out dry. Clinical.

"Yeah. Totally joking. Ha ha. Very funny." Jordan’s hands moved on their own. Trying to gesture away the catastrophic mistake. "I like girls that are sweet and driven. They know the importance of family and help me want to become a better man."

The skill check passed.

Barely.

Chloe’s shoulders relaxed. Just slightly. The tension in her jaw loosened.

Kumiko nodded. "That’s really nice actually."

Kyle was still coughing. Tears streamed down his face.

Alexis tilted her head. Studied Jordan like he was a particularly interesting bug specimen. "So the ass thing was a lie?"

"Hell no." The words came out before Jordan’s filter could catch them. "I like big butts. I can’t lie."

Chloe kicked him under the table.

Hard.

Right in the shin bone.

Jordan bit back a yelp. "But personality matters more. Obviously. That’s the most important thing."

"You’re such a guy." Alexis picked up her soju. Drank. "Ugh."

"Oh yeah?" Jordan’s mouth was still running without permission from his brain. "What’s your type of guy, Alexis?"

The question came out sharper than he intended. With an edge that made Kyle stop coughing and Leo freeze with chicken halfway to his mouth.

Alexis set down her glass. Slow. Deliberate. "My type?"

"Yeah. Your type. Since we’re sharing."

Something flickered across her face. Gone too fast to identify. She straightened in her seat. Crossed her legs. The picture of composure.

"I like guys who are tall. Six feet minimum. Dirty blonde or light brown hair. Good hygiene. Someone who actually showers and doesn’t smell like Axe body spray."

Leo’s face fell. He was five eight on a good day with dark hair and probably bathed in Axe.

Alexis kept going. Oblivious or uncaring. "Someone with confidence but not arrogance. Who can actually hold a conversation without making it about money or cars or whatever party they went to last weekend."

Kyle glanced at Jordan. Then back at Alexis. Then back at Jordan.

"And they need to have actual talents." Alexis picked up a piece of chicken. Examined it like it held the secrets of the universe. "Like singing. Or playing an instrument. Something that shows they put effort into being good at something beyond just existing."

The room went quiet.

Too quiet.

Everyone’s eyes shifted. Moved from Alexis to Jordan and back again in perfect synchronization.

Jordan sat there with his dirty blonde hair. At six foot two. Wearing clean clothes that smelled like cedar and sandalwood instead of chemical warfare. Having just sung like Frank Sinatra’s illegitimate grandson.

Kumiko’s mouth opened. Closed. Opened again. "Wait."

"What?" Alexis looked up from her chicken.

"You just described Jordan."

Alexis’s face went through several emotions in rapid succession. Confusion. Realization. Horror. Denial.

"No I didn’t."

"You absolutely did." Kyle’s grin spread across his face like sunrise. "Tall. Check. Dirty blonde hair. Check. Smells good. Check. Can sing. Very check."

"That’s not. I wasn’t." Alexis’s composure cracked. Actual color rose in her cheeks. Pink spreading from her neck upward. "I was describing a general type."

"A general type that matches Jordan exactly." Leo leaned forward. His earlier disappointment replaced by pure entertainment. "That’s wild."

"Not Jordan." Alexis’s voice went up half an octave. "Definitely not Jordan."

"Why not Jordan?" Kumiko tilted her head. Genuinely curious. "He fits everything you said."

"Because he’s." Alexis gestured vaguely in Jordan’s direction. Her hand waved through the air like she was trying to physically push the concept away. "He’s Jordan."

"What’s wrong with Jordan?" Chloe’s voice cut through the chaos. Sharp. Direct.

Alexis turned to look at her. "Nothing’s wrong with him. He’s just. He’s your. Aren’t you guys?"

"We’re what?"

"You know what I mean."

"I really don’t."

The tension stretched between them like a rubber band pulled too tight.

Jordan sat there watching two girls have an entire argument about him while he was right there. His internal monologue provided helpful commentary about how this was either the best or worst moment of his life and he couldn’t tell which.

Kyle’s grin threatened to split his face in half. "This is amazing. This is the best karaoke night ever."

"Shut up Kyle." Alexis grabbed her soju. Downed the entire thing in one shot. Slammed the glass on the table.

"I’m just saying. You described your perfect guy and he’s sitting right there."

"Kyle I swear to god."

"What? I’m being helpful."

"You’re being annoying."

Leo poured himself another shot. "To be fair, she’s got a point. Jordan does tick all those boxes."

"Oh my god." Alexis stood up. Fast. The booth shook. "I need to use the bathroom."

She walked toward the door. Her heels clicked against the tile floor with sharp, angry sounds.

The door slammed shut behind her. 𝙛𝓻𝒆𝒆𝒘𝙚𝓫𝙣𝙤𝒗𝙚𝓵.𝙘𝙤𝙢

Silence crashed down.

Kumiko looked at Chloe. "Did we just."

"Yep."

"Should we."

"Probably."

Both of them moved to go to the restroom.

Kyle started laughing. Actually laughing. Head thrown back. Shoulders shaking. "Holy shit. That was the funniest thing I’ve seen all week."

"Dude." Leo shook his head. "Alexis Van Der Berg just accidentally confessed she’s into Jordan."

"I know. I was here. I witnessed it."

"That’s insane."

"Completely insane."

Jordan’s phone buzzed in his pocket.

He pulled it out. Checked the screen under the table.

System Notification

Alexis Van Der Berg

Change Factors:

Public vulnerability acknowledged

Subconscious attraction verified

Denial response indicates high investment

Status: High Priority Target

Quest Update: Karaoke Gambit

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