Infinite Cashback System
Chapter 11 | My Bank Account Just Leveled Up
- Chapter 166 | The Spite Reservoir
- Chapter 165 | Athletic Poetry
- Chapter 164 | The Business of Two Girlfriends
- Chapter 163 | A Factory Reset and a Pout
- Chapter 162 | Teehee, Boyfriend
- Chapter 161 | How to Be a Boyfriend (Plural)
- Chapter 160 | The Part Where the Check Cashes [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 159 | The Opposite of a Fuckboy
- Chapter 158 | The Terms and Conditions of My Heart
- Chapter 157 | A Voice From Another Life
- Chapter 156 | The Unboxing and Assembly of My Romantic Downfall [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 155 | My Romantic Comedy Moment Was a Tech Support Ticket
- Chapter 154 | The Pre-Confrontation Tea Ceremony
- Chapter 153 | The Broken Compass Needle
- Chapter 152 | The Pragmatist’s Gambit
- Chapter 151 | My Girlfriend Plays 4D Chess, I Play Not Crashing My Hondeezy
- Chapter 150 | Lo-Fi Hip Hop and Indecent Proposals
- Chapter 149 | Carpal Tunnel is Not Cute, But This Rebate Is
- Chapter 148 | On Becoming a Human Shopping Cart
- Chapter 147 | A Wild Customer Service Employee Appears
- Chapter 146 | Welcome to Micro Center, Population: My Anxiety
- Chapter 145 | An Unscheduled Cinematic Cutscene
- Chapter 144 | From Blue-Screen-of-Death to a Feeling of Safety
- Chapter 143 | A Gas Station Confession and an Indecent Proposal
- Chapter 142 | The ROI of a Good Carpool Karaoke Session
- Chapter 141 | Starting a Business is Easy, Just Loan Your Baby Money
- Chapter 140 | Hooks [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 139 | Let’s Go Build Me an Empire [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 138 | StellarNote [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 137 | Something That Belonged Only to Her [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 136 | Tech Support
- Chapter 135 | Computer First, Therapy Later
- Chapter 134 | A Luxury We Can’t Afford [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 133 | The Queen in Repose
- Chapter 132 | Of All the Lofts in All the World...
- Chapter 131 | Professor Yamanaka’s Practical Exam
- Chapter 130 | A Wild Kumiko Appears
- Chapter 129 | A Sleepy Confession
- Chapter 128 | Schrödinger’s Lootbox
- Chapter 127 | Please Dance Responsibly [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 126 | The 72-Hour Ultimatum
- Chapter 125 | Biohazard Situation
- Chapter 124 | Don’t Move Yet
- Chapter 123 | G-Spot Overdrive
- Chapter 122 | The Calypso Protocol
- Chapter 121 | The ROI on a Little Black Dress
- Chapter 120 | My Evil Girlfriend is Trying to Kill Us
- Chapter 119 | An Under-the-Table Declaration of War
- Chapter 118 | The Meal Ticket Interrogation
- Chapter 117 | The Son You Knew is Dead
- Chapter 116 | Seventy-Five Percent and That Question
- Chapter 115 | The Adele Piece and the Alluring Whisper [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 114 | The Girl Who Doesn’t Share Well
- Chapter 113 | Past Tense and a Parent Problem
- Chapter 112 | The Blue Bikini and the Yandere’s Threat
- Chapter 111 | The Three-Body Problem (Swimsuit Edition)
- Chapter 110 | Final Electricity and the Fit of a Boyfriend
- Chapter 109 | The Tri-Color Fashion Gauntlet
- Chapter 108 | A Shopping Trip is a Four-Sided War
- Chapter 107 | Past Tense, Future Tense, and Present Tense
- Chapter 106 | My Streaming Empire Starts with an Adorable Robot [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 105 | The Girl Who Calculates Coffee and the Money Laundering Quest [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 104 | The Style War for a Simp’s Soul [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 103 | A Tsundere in Thigh-Highs [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 102 | The Girlfriend Selection Committee [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 101 | Investing in My Girlfriend [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 100 | Cute is What You Call a Puppy
- Chapter 99 | Thigh-Highs and Thermal Paste
- Chapter 98 | Left. Left. Left. Right. No, Left.
- Chapter 97 | What Do You Mean, ’Performing’?
- Chapter 96 | This Isn’t How You Set Up a Twitch Stream
- Chapter 95 | OBS Studio is a Terrible Wingman
- Chapter 94 | It Was Perfect. Wasn’t It?
- Chapter 93 | The Golden Ticket Feels a Little Tarnished
- Chapter 92 | My Fight, My Boyfriend
- Chapter 91 | How Do You Even Know That?
- Chapter 90 | You Upgraded
- Chapter 89 | You Can’t Out-Lift a Bad Diet
- Chapter 88 | Aggregate Demand and Three Competing Conversations
- Chapter 87 | My Girlfriend’s Breakfast Netted Me a $3.68 Profit
- Chapter 86 | My Boyfriend, My Brand, and The Friend Who Might Ruin Both
- Chapter 85 | We Said the Words
- Chapter 84 | I Chose Sleep Over Sex and Now We Have to Talk About Her Job
- Chapter 83 | My Girlfriend, My Friend, My Swamp Monster
- Chapter 82 | Comfort Over Style Tonight [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 81 | A Transactional Apology
- Chapter 80 | Cedar, Clean Laundry, and Him
- Chapter 79 | You Won’t Mind, Will You?
- Chapter 78 | The Wrong Answer And The Right Answer
- Chapter 77 | So, What’s Your Type?
- Chapter 76 | The Sanrio Store Option
- Chapter 75 | Guilty Feet
- Chapter 74 | Calypso Bleeds Through
- Chapter 73 | You Will Sing Or You Will Be Shamed
- Chapter 72 | You’re Gonna Scare The Hoes [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 71 | A Different Kind of Income Stream [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 70 | A Weather Forecast [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 69 | The Siren, The Headpat, and The Loaded Weapon
- Chapter 68 | Tumbleweeds, Bunnies, and Bitches
- Chapter 67 - 6-7 | We Can Be Messy Together [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 66 | About Next Saturday... [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 65 | My Mother, The Text-Nuke [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 64 | Marking Territory [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 63 | The Kissing Game Has No Rules [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 62 | The Rules of Engagement [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 61 | My Lips Say Yes, My Brain Says You’re an Idiot
- Chapter 60 | Navigating the Minefield of a Single Shared Wall
- Chapter 59 | My Girlfriend (Maybe?) Just Summoned Me With a Single Word [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 58 | My Apology Got a Failing Grade
- Chapter 57 | Socializing is a Daily Quest, Family is a Raid Boss
- Chapter 56 | My Social Skills Are Still Buffering, But At Least She Laughed
- Chapter 55 | My Required Reading Includes Two New Beauties
- Chapter 54 | My Wingman’s Only Move is a Lie
- Chapter 53 | Bros Before Hoes, Unless She’s Really Hot
- Chapter 52 | My Relationship Status is Now ’In Beta Testing’
- Chapter 51 | I Ruined Everything, But At Least I Got Legendary Loot
- Chapter 50 | Twenty Million Dollars is a Very Complicated Aphrodisiac
- Chapter 49 | The Terms and Conditions of My Affection
- Chapter 48 | My Brother’s Keeper Has Questions
- Chapter 47 | My Superpower is Tonguing Down Suspicions
- Chapter 46 | Post-Sex Negotiations Involve Korean Takeout
- Chapter 45 | We’re Going to Need a Bigger Towel
- Chapter 44 | Condoms Are for Overthinkers
- Chapter 43 | My First Time Was a Critical Hit
- Chapter 42 | Take This Upstairs
- Chapter 41 | This is Some Kind of Black Magic Fuckery
- Chapter 40 | I Lied, I Wanted You Here
- Chapter 39 | The Calypso Origin Story
- Chapter 38 | I’m Scared
- Chapter 37 | The Statistical Probability of You and Me
- Chapter 36 | Counter-Programming the Fear
- Chapter 35 | Three Feet Feels Like Three Inches
- Chapter 34 | Maximum Atmosphere
- Chapter 33 | A First Date in Aisle Five
- Chapter 32 | An Invitation to Watch Netflix (And Panic)
- Chapter 31 | Not a Date, or Something
- Chapter 30 | A Full Deck of Pain
- Chapter 29 | The Prada Bag Guy
- Chapter 28 | Oh. It’s You.
- Chapter 27 | Resisting the RNG
- Chapter 26 | Amazon Princesses and Other Goals
- Chapter 25 | Proximity Alert
- Chapter 24 | Maintenance Required
- Chapter 23 | The Biohazard Upgrade
- Chapter 22 | My Life Is A Gacha Game Now
- Chapter 21 | Do Not Get Attached to the Transaction
- Chapter 20 | Ground Rules for the Girl Next Door
- Chapter 19 | Welcome to Unit 403
- Chapter 18 | My Life Is A Sitcom
- Chapter 17 | The Thud From Unit 404
- Chapter 16 | The Girl in the Rearview Mirror
- Chapter 15 | We Both Drive a Honda Civic, So It Must Be Fate
- Chapter 14 | A Three-Thousand-Dollar Beta Test
- Chapter 13 | SLOT ONE: REGISTERED
- Chapter 12 | Registering Her is a Financial and Emotional Risk
- Chapter 11 | My Bank Account Just Leveled Up
- Chapter 10 | My Name Isn’t Ricky
- Chapter 9 | The Intimidation Fee is Apparently Complimentary
- Chapter 8 | A Social Interaction Buffed by Fabuloso
- Chapter 7 | Apparently, Cleaning Counts as Cardio
- Chapter 6 | You Are What You Don’t Throw Away
- Chapter 5 | My First Boss Fight is a Pizza Box
- Chapter 4 | There Is No Tomorrow
- Chapter 3 | You Have 24 Hours to Stop Being You
- Chapter 2 | Infinite Cashback: Active
- Chapter 1 | The Price of a Pathetic Fantasy
Jordan sat in his Honda Civic, engine off, staring at his reflection in the rearview mirror.
Holy shit.
The top section of his hair had returned to something close to his natural dirty blonde. Light brown with hints of gold when the afternoon sun hit it right. Marcus had kept the sides and back darker, almost black, creating contrast that actually looked intentional. Like Jordan had walked into a real salon and asked for a fade with color instead of panic-buying box dye at CVS at two in the morning.
He turned his head left and right. The cut was clean. Sharp. The kind of haircut that said "I have my life together" instead of "I’ve been crying in my apartment for two weeks."
Jordan pulled out his phone. The golden interface materialized across his screen, responsive and smooth.
TUTORIAL QUEST: Ground Zero
TIME LIMIT: 11:47:23
OBJECTIVES:
[✓] Environmental Purge: Deep clean the apartment
[✓] Textile Decontamination: Wash all clothes and bedsheets
[✓] Damage Control (Physical): Visit salon and fix hair disaster
[X] Damage Control (Social): Call David McKnight (Father)
Four objectives. Three complete. One remaining.
The last one.
Jordan’s stomach twisted. His thumb hovered over the quest log, reading the requirement again. Apologize for recent behavior. State commitment to change. Do not ask for money. Speak clearly. Mean it.
His father’s voice echoed in his head. Disappointed but not surprised. The kind of tone that hurt worse than yelling ever could. Throwing money at your problems is making you smaller, Jordan. Not bigger.
His phone buzzed with a new notification. Not the System this time. A text message.
OnlyFans: New message from Calypso 𝑓𝓇𝘦ℯ𝘸𝘦𝑏𝓃𝑜𝘷ℯ𝑙.𝑐𝑜𝓂
Jordan’s chest tightened. He’d forgotten. Completely fucking forgotten.
He opened the message.
Calypso: Hey! Just confirming our meet today at 3pm. The Ivy in Long Beach. Can’t wait to finally meet you in person! Thanks again for being such an amazing supporter. See you soon 💙
Today. Three PM.
Jordan checked the date on his phone. January 11th. 1:38 PM.
"Fuck," Jordan said out loud in his car.
Long Beach was at least an hour drive from here. Maybe more depending on traffic. The Ivy was expensive. Like actually expensive. Not Panera expensive. He’d looked at the menu when he’d bought the package during his two-week breakdown, thinking three thousand dollars meant he could afford to eat there too.
Wrong. Entrees started at forty-five dollars.
Available Balance: $47.21
Plus the sixty-four dollars cash in his wallet from the ATM run last week. One hundred eleven dollars total. Enough for maybe two drinks and an appetizer if he was lucky and didn’t tip.
This was fine. Everything was fine. He’d spent three thousand dollars for a forty-five minute coffee date with an OnlyFans model and now he had to drive to Long Beach with barely enough money to buy her a latte.
Cool. Great. Fantastic life choices, Jordan.
But first he had to call his father.
Jordan stared at his contact list. David McKnight. The number sat there like a landmine waiting to detonate. He could call later. After the Calypso thing. His dad was probably at work anyway.
There is no tomorrow.
Jordan’s own voice from last night came back to him. Standing in his filthy apartment, declaring he was done being this version of himself. That this morning was ground zero.
Eleven hours and forty-five minutes remained on his quest timer. If he failed, the System disappeared forever. He’d go right back to being the guy crying in a parking lot on Christmas while Cameron Mitchell groped his girlfriend.
Ex-girlfriend.
Whatever.
Jordan selected his father’s contact and pressed call before his brain could stop him.
The phone rang once. Twice. Three times.
Maybe he wouldn’t answer. Maybe Jordan could leave a voicemail and that would count. The System tracked effort, right? Trying was what mattered.
"Jordan." His father’s voice came through on the fourth ring. Not a question. A statement. Flat and tired.
"Hey, Dad." Jordan’s mouth went dry. "Is this a bad time?"
"I’m at the store. Give me a second."
Jordan heard background noise. The beep of a cash register. Someone asking about cigarettes behind the counter. His father’s footsteps moving away from the noise, a door closing, then quiet.
"Alright," David McKnight said. "I’m in the office. What’s going on? You need something?"
You need something.
"No," Jordan said. "I don’t need anything. I called to apologize."
Silence on the other end. Long enough that Jordan checked his phone to make sure the call hadn’t dropped.
"...For what?"
Jordan gripped the steering wheel with his free hand. "For the last four months. For being a fuck-up. For spending your money on stupid shit and lying about it. For not going to class. For not answering when you called. For making Mom worry."
More silence.
"I’m not asking for anything," Jordan continued. His reflection stared back at him in the rearview mirror. "I just wanted you to know I’m done being that person. I cleaned my apartment today. All of it. Threw out eight trash bags of garbage. Got my hair fixed. I’m going to my classes this semester. I’m going to stop wasting the chances you gave me."
"Jordan." His father’s voice cracked slightly. "Are you okay? Did something happen?"
"Yeah," Jordan said. "Something happened. I hit bottom. And I’m climbing back up now."
"Where are you right now?"
"Sitting in my car outside a barbershop." Jordan almost laughed. "In a neighborhood you’d probably tell me to leave immediately if you knew where it was."
"Then leave."
"Already done. Hair’s fixed. Looks good, actually."
David McKnight exhaled slowly. "Your mother’s been worried sick," his father said finally. "She thinks I was too hard on you. Cutting your allowance, telling you to figure it out yourself."
"You weren’t too hard on me," Jordan said. "You were right. I was using your money like a credit card with unlimited funds. Thought I could buy my way into maturity or whatever. Didn’t work."
"No," his father agreed. "It usually doesn’t."
Jordan watched a group of kids ride bikes past his car. Laughing about something, completely unconcerned with their surroundings. He’d forgotten what that felt like. Being light.
"I’m not saying I’m fixed," Jordan continued. "I’m probably going to mess up again. But I’m trying now."
"That’s all I wanted to hear," David said. His voice had gone softer. "You don’t need to be perfect, Jordan. You just need to be honest with yourself about where you are and where you’re going."
"I know." Jordan checked the time on his dashboard. 1:46 PM. He needed to leave soon if he wanted to make the Calypso thing. "I should let you get back to work."
"Call your mother tonight," his father said. "She needs to hear this too. And Jordan?"
"Yeah?"
"I’m proud of you for calling. That took guts."
The line went dead before Jordan could respond.
He sat in his car, phone still pressed to his ear, processing what had just happened. His father had said he was proud. When was the last time Jordan had heard those words? High school maybe. Before he’d started the slow slide into pathetic.
His phone buzzed.
🎊 QUEST COMPLETED 🎊
"Ground Zero"
Reward: 10 Quest Tickets
System Sign-On Bonus: $1,500 deposited to secure System Account
Total Balance: $1,547.21
Jordan stared at the notification. The golden interface glowed against his palm, numbers updating in real time. His banking app refreshed automatically, showing the new balance like magic.
Fifteen hundred dollars. Just appeared. Because he’d cleaned his apartment and fixed his hair and called his father.
The System was real. Completely, absolutely real.
Jordan started his car. The engine turned over with its usual reliable Honda hum. He pulled up Google Maps and typed in The Ivy, Long Beach.
Estimated arrival time: 2:42 PM
Eighteen minutes to spare if traffic cooperated.
Jordan pulled out of his parking spot and merged into afternoon traffic. His hair looked good in every mirror he passed. The streets gradually improved as he drove, going from barred windows and graffiti to clean storefronts and palm trees.
His phone sat in the cupholder, Calypso’s message still open on the screen.
Can’t wait to finally meet you in person!
Jordan had subscribed to her channel six months ago. October, right before he’d met Eliza and convinced himself he had a girlfriend. Calypso posted three times a week. Solo content mostly. Lingerie photos, artistic shots with creative lighting, occasional cosplay. Her face was always blurred or covered with a mask, but her body was ridiculous. Hourglass figure, toned stomach, perfect proportions that looked professionally maintained.
And that blue streak in her black hair. Her signature look. Every photo, every video, that electric blue visible even when everything else was hidden.
Jordan had spent probably two thousand dollars on her content over six months. Custom videos, tips, private DMs where she responded with personalized messages that made him feel seen. Not like Eliza, who’d used him as an ATM and fucked Cameron Mitchell in a love hotel.
The $3,000 coffee date package had appeared in December. "Exclusive IRL Meet & Greet - Limited Availability - Top Supporters Only."
Jordan had bought it the day after Christmas. Sitting in his disgusting apartment, credit card in hand, thinking maybe this would fix the hole Eliza had torn open.
Now he was driving to meet her with a new haircut, a clean apartment, and a magical phone app that tracked women’s attraction to him like a video game stat.
His life had become a simulation. Or a pornhwa. One of those Korean manwha where the loser protagonist gets a second chance through some supernatural system.
Jordan merged onto the freeway. Traffic moved smoothly for a Saturday afternoon. The ocean appeared in the distance, dark blue against lighter sky.
The Ivy sat in a wealthy section of Long Beach. White tablecloths, valet parking, people dressed like they had board meetings to attend after brunch. Jordan’s Honda Civic was going to look pathetic in that parking lot.
Whatever, Calypso had his money. The least she could do was drink coffee with him for forty-five minutes.
===
[A/N:]
If you enjoyed this Chapter, please consider adding this story to your library and leaving a vote. Your support helps me keep writing, release more Chapters from my backlog, and speed up my updates.
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See you in the next Chapter!
☜(⌒▽⌒)☞
- Chapter 166 | The Spite Reservoir
- Chapter 165 | Athletic Poetry
- Chapter 164 | The Business of Two Girlfriends
- Chapter 163 | A Factory Reset and a Pout
- Chapter 162 | Teehee, Boyfriend
- Chapter 161 | How to Be a Boyfriend (Plural)
- Chapter 160 | The Part Where the Check Cashes [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 159 | The Opposite of a Fuckboy
- Chapter 158 | The Terms and Conditions of My Heart
- Chapter 157 | A Voice From Another Life
- Chapter 156 | The Unboxing and Assembly of My Romantic Downfall [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 155 | My Romantic Comedy Moment Was a Tech Support Ticket
- Chapter 154 | The Pre-Confrontation Tea Ceremony
- Chapter 153 | The Broken Compass Needle
- Chapter 152 | The Pragmatist’s Gambit
- Chapter 151 | My Girlfriend Plays 4D Chess, I Play Not Crashing My Hondeezy
- Chapter 150 | Lo-Fi Hip Hop and Indecent Proposals
- Chapter 149 | Carpal Tunnel is Not Cute, But This Rebate Is
- Chapter 148 | On Becoming a Human Shopping Cart
- Chapter 147 | A Wild Customer Service Employee Appears
- Chapter 146 | Welcome to Micro Center, Population: My Anxiety
- Chapter 145 | An Unscheduled Cinematic Cutscene
- Chapter 144 | From Blue-Screen-of-Death to a Feeling of Safety
- Chapter 143 | A Gas Station Confession and an Indecent Proposal
- Chapter 142 | The ROI of a Good Carpool Karaoke Session
- Chapter 141 | Starting a Business is Easy, Just Loan Your Baby Money
- Chapter 140 | Hooks [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 139 | Let’s Go Build Me an Empire [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 138 | StellarNote [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 137 | Something That Belonged Only to Her [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 136 | Tech Support
- Chapter 135 | Computer First, Therapy Later
- Chapter 134 | A Luxury We Can’t Afford [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 133 | The Queen in Repose
- Chapter 132 | Of All the Lofts in All the World...
- Chapter 131 | Professor Yamanaka’s Practical Exam
- Chapter 130 | A Wild Kumiko Appears
- Chapter 129 | A Sleepy Confession
- Chapter 128 | Schrödinger’s Lootbox
- Chapter 127 | Please Dance Responsibly [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 126 | The 72-Hour Ultimatum
- Chapter 125 | Biohazard Situation
- Chapter 124 | Don’t Move Yet
- Chapter 123 | G-Spot Overdrive
- Chapter 122 | The Calypso Protocol
- Chapter 121 | The ROI on a Little Black Dress
- Chapter 120 | My Evil Girlfriend is Trying to Kill Us
- Chapter 119 | An Under-the-Table Declaration of War
- Chapter 118 | The Meal Ticket Interrogation
- Chapter 117 | The Son You Knew is Dead
- Chapter 116 | Seventy-Five Percent and That Question
- Chapter 115 | The Adele Piece and the Alluring Whisper [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 114 | The Girl Who Doesn’t Share Well
- Chapter 113 | Past Tense and a Parent Problem
- Chapter 112 | The Blue Bikini and the Yandere’s Threat
- Chapter 111 | The Three-Body Problem (Swimsuit Edition)
- Chapter 110 | Final Electricity and the Fit of a Boyfriend
- Chapter 109 | The Tri-Color Fashion Gauntlet
- Chapter 108 | A Shopping Trip is a Four-Sided War
- Chapter 107 | Past Tense, Future Tense, and Present Tense
- Chapter 106 | My Streaming Empire Starts with an Adorable Robot [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 105 | The Girl Who Calculates Coffee and the Money Laundering Quest [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 104 | The Style War for a Simp’s Soul [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 103 | A Tsundere in Thigh-Highs [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 102 | The Girlfriend Selection Committee [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 101 | Investing in My Girlfriend [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 100 | Cute is What You Call a Puppy
- Chapter 99 | Thigh-Highs and Thermal Paste
- Chapter 98 | Left. Left. Left. Right. No, Left.
- Chapter 97 | What Do You Mean, ’Performing’?
- Chapter 96 | This Isn’t How You Set Up a Twitch Stream
- Chapter 95 | OBS Studio is a Terrible Wingman
- Chapter 94 | It Was Perfect. Wasn’t It?
- Chapter 93 | The Golden Ticket Feels a Little Tarnished
- Chapter 92 | My Fight, My Boyfriend
- Chapter 91 | How Do You Even Know That?
- Chapter 90 | You Upgraded
- Chapter 89 | You Can’t Out-Lift a Bad Diet
- Chapter 88 | Aggregate Demand and Three Competing Conversations
- Chapter 87 | My Girlfriend’s Breakfast Netted Me a $3.68 Profit
- Chapter 86 | My Boyfriend, My Brand, and The Friend Who Might Ruin Both
- Chapter 85 | We Said the Words
- Chapter 84 | I Chose Sleep Over Sex and Now We Have to Talk About Her Job
- Chapter 83 | My Girlfriend, My Friend, My Swamp Monster
- Chapter 82 | Comfort Over Style Tonight [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 81 | A Transactional Apology
- Chapter 80 | Cedar, Clean Laundry, and Him
- Chapter 79 | You Won’t Mind, Will You?
- Chapter 78 | The Wrong Answer And The Right Answer
- Chapter 77 | So, What’s Your Type?
- Chapter 76 | The Sanrio Store Option
- Chapter 75 | Guilty Feet
- Chapter 74 | Calypso Bleeds Through
- Chapter 73 | You Will Sing Or You Will Be Shamed
- Chapter 72 | You’re Gonna Scare The Hoes [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 71 | A Different Kind of Income Stream [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 70 | A Weather Forecast [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 69 | The Siren, The Headpat, and The Loaded Weapon
- Chapter 68 | Tumbleweeds, Bunnies, and Bitches
- Chapter 67 - 6-7 | We Can Be Messy Together [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 66 | About Next Saturday... [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 65 | My Mother, The Text-Nuke [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 64 | Marking Territory [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 63 | The Kissing Game Has No Rules [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 62 | The Rules of Engagement [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 61 | My Lips Say Yes, My Brain Says You’re an Idiot
- Chapter 60 | Navigating the Minefield of a Single Shared Wall
- Chapter 59 | My Girlfriend (Maybe?) Just Summoned Me With a Single Word [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 58 | My Apology Got a Failing Grade
- Chapter 57 | Socializing is a Daily Quest, Family is a Raid Boss
- Chapter 56 | My Social Skills Are Still Buffering, But At Least She Laughed
- Chapter 55 | My Required Reading Includes Two New Beauties
- Chapter 54 | My Wingman’s Only Move is a Lie
- Chapter 53 | Bros Before Hoes, Unless She’s Really Hot
- Chapter 52 | My Relationship Status is Now ’In Beta Testing’
- Chapter 51 | I Ruined Everything, But At Least I Got Legendary Loot
- Chapter 50 | Twenty Million Dollars is a Very Complicated Aphrodisiac
- Chapter 49 | The Terms and Conditions of My Affection
- Chapter 48 | My Brother’s Keeper Has Questions
- Chapter 47 | My Superpower is Tonguing Down Suspicions
- Chapter 46 | Post-Sex Negotiations Involve Korean Takeout
- Chapter 45 | We’re Going to Need a Bigger Towel
- Chapter 44 | Condoms Are for Overthinkers
- Chapter 43 | My First Time Was a Critical Hit
- Chapter 42 | Take This Upstairs
- Chapter 41 | This is Some Kind of Black Magic Fuckery
- Chapter 40 | I Lied, I Wanted You Here
- Chapter 39 | The Calypso Origin Story
- Chapter 38 | I’m Scared
- Chapter 37 | The Statistical Probability of You and Me
- Chapter 36 | Counter-Programming the Fear
- Chapter 35 | Three Feet Feels Like Three Inches
- Chapter 34 | Maximum Atmosphere
- Chapter 33 | A First Date in Aisle Five
- Chapter 32 | An Invitation to Watch Netflix (And Panic)
- Chapter 31 | Not a Date, or Something
- Chapter 30 | A Full Deck of Pain
- Chapter 29 | The Prada Bag Guy
- Chapter 28 | Oh. It’s You.
- Chapter 27 | Resisting the RNG
- Chapter 26 | Amazon Princesses and Other Goals
- Chapter 25 | Proximity Alert
- Chapter 24 | Maintenance Required
- Chapter 23 | The Biohazard Upgrade
- Chapter 22 | My Life Is A Gacha Game Now
- Chapter 21 | Do Not Get Attached to the Transaction
- Chapter 20 | Ground Rules for the Girl Next Door
- Chapter 19 | Welcome to Unit 403
- Chapter 18 | My Life Is A Sitcom
- Chapter 17 | The Thud From Unit 404
- Chapter 16 | The Girl in the Rearview Mirror
- Chapter 15 | We Both Drive a Honda Civic, So It Must Be Fate
- Chapter 14 | A Three-Thousand-Dollar Beta Test
- Chapter 13 | SLOT ONE: REGISTERED
- Chapter 12 | Registering Her is a Financial and Emotional Risk
- Chapter 11 | My Bank Account Just Leveled Up
- Chapter 10 | My Name Isn’t Ricky
- Chapter 9 | The Intimidation Fee is Apparently Complimentary
- Chapter 8 | A Social Interaction Buffed by Fabuloso
- Chapter 7 | Apparently, Cleaning Counts as Cardio
- Chapter 6 | You Are What You Don’t Throw Away
- Chapter 5 | My First Boss Fight is a Pizza Box
- Chapter 4 | There Is No Tomorrow
- Chapter 3 | You Have 24 Hours to Stop Being You
- Chapter 2 | Infinite Cashback: Active
- Chapter 1 | The Price of a Pathetic Fantasy
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