Infinite Cashback System
Chapter 26 | Amazon Princesses and Other Goals
- Chapter 166 | The Spite Reservoir
- Chapter 165 | Athletic Poetry
- Chapter 164 | The Business of Two Girlfriends
- Chapter 163 | A Factory Reset and a Pout
- Chapter 162 | Teehee, Boyfriend
- Chapter 161 | How to Be a Boyfriend (Plural)
- Chapter 160 | The Part Where the Check Cashes [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 159 | The Opposite of a Fuckboy
- Chapter 158 | The Terms and Conditions of My Heart
- Chapter 157 | A Voice From Another Life
- Chapter 156 | The Unboxing and Assembly of My Romantic Downfall [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 155 | My Romantic Comedy Moment Was a Tech Support Ticket
- Chapter 154 | The Pre-Confrontation Tea Ceremony
- Chapter 153 | The Broken Compass Needle
- Chapter 152 | The Pragmatist’s Gambit
- Chapter 151 | My Girlfriend Plays 4D Chess, I Play Not Crashing My Hondeezy
- Chapter 150 | Lo-Fi Hip Hop and Indecent Proposals
- Chapter 149 | Carpal Tunnel is Not Cute, But This Rebate Is
- Chapter 148 | On Becoming a Human Shopping Cart
- Chapter 147 | A Wild Customer Service Employee Appears
- Chapter 146 | Welcome to Micro Center, Population: My Anxiety
- Chapter 145 | An Unscheduled Cinematic Cutscene
- Chapter 144 | From Blue-Screen-of-Death to a Feeling of Safety
- Chapter 143 | A Gas Station Confession and an Indecent Proposal
- Chapter 142 | The ROI of a Good Carpool Karaoke Session
- Chapter 141 | Starting a Business is Easy, Just Loan Your Baby Money
- Chapter 140 | Hooks [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 139 | Let’s Go Build Me an Empire [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 138 | StellarNote [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 137 | Something That Belonged Only to Her [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 136 | Tech Support
- Chapter 135 | Computer First, Therapy Later
- Chapter 134 | A Luxury We Can’t Afford [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 133 | The Queen in Repose
- Chapter 132 | Of All the Lofts in All the World...
- Chapter 131 | Professor Yamanaka’s Practical Exam
- Chapter 130 | A Wild Kumiko Appears
- Chapter 129 | A Sleepy Confession
- Chapter 128 | Schrödinger’s Lootbox
- Chapter 127 | Please Dance Responsibly [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 126 | The 72-Hour Ultimatum
- Chapter 125 | Biohazard Situation
- Chapter 124 | Don’t Move Yet
- Chapter 123 | G-Spot Overdrive
- Chapter 122 | The Calypso Protocol
- Chapter 121 | The ROI on a Little Black Dress
- Chapter 120 | My Evil Girlfriend is Trying to Kill Us
- Chapter 119 | An Under-the-Table Declaration of War
- Chapter 118 | The Meal Ticket Interrogation
- Chapter 117 | The Son You Knew is Dead
- Chapter 116 | Seventy-Five Percent and That Question
- Chapter 115 | The Adele Piece and the Alluring Whisper [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 114 | The Girl Who Doesn’t Share Well
- Chapter 113 | Past Tense and a Parent Problem
- Chapter 112 | The Blue Bikini and the Yandere’s Threat
- Chapter 111 | The Three-Body Problem (Swimsuit Edition)
- Chapter 110 | Final Electricity and the Fit of a Boyfriend
- Chapter 109 | The Tri-Color Fashion Gauntlet
- Chapter 108 | A Shopping Trip is a Four-Sided War
- Chapter 107 | Past Tense, Future Tense, and Present Tense
- Chapter 106 | My Streaming Empire Starts with an Adorable Robot [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 105 | The Girl Who Calculates Coffee and the Money Laundering Quest [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 104 | The Style War for a Simp’s Soul [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 103 | A Tsundere in Thigh-Highs [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 102 | The Girlfriend Selection Committee [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 101 | Investing in My Girlfriend [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 100 | Cute is What You Call a Puppy
- Chapter 99 | Thigh-Highs and Thermal Paste
- Chapter 98 | Left. Left. Left. Right. No, Left.
- Chapter 97 | What Do You Mean, ’Performing’?
- Chapter 96 | This Isn’t How You Set Up a Twitch Stream
- Chapter 95 | OBS Studio is a Terrible Wingman
- Chapter 94 | It Was Perfect. Wasn’t It?
- Chapter 93 | The Golden Ticket Feels a Little Tarnished
- Chapter 92 | My Fight, My Boyfriend
- Chapter 91 | How Do You Even Know That?
- Chapter 90 | You Upgraded
- Chapter 89 | You Can’t Out-Lift a Bad Diet
- Chapter 88 | Aggregate Demand and Three Competing Conversations
- Chapter 87 | My Girlfriend’s Breakfast Netted Me a $3.68 Profit
- Chapter 86 | My Boyfriend, My Brand, and The Friend Who Might Ruin Both
- Chapter 85 | We Said the Words
- Chapter 84 | I Chose Sleep Over Sex and Now We Have to Talk About Her Job
- Chapter 83 | My Girlfriend, My Friend, My Swamp Monster
- Chapter 82 | Comfort Over Style Tonight [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 81 | A Transactional Apology
- Chapter 80 | Cedar, Clean Laundry, and Him
- Chapter 79 | You Won’t Mind, Will You?
- Chapter 78 | The Wrong Answer And The Right Answer
- Chapter 77 | So, What’s Your Type?
- Chapter 76 | The Sanrio Store Option
- Chapter 75 | Guilty Feet
- Chapter 74 | Calypso Bleeds Through
- Chapter 73 | You Will Sing Or You Will Be Shamed
- Chapter 72 | You’re Gonna Scare The Hoes [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 71 | A Different Kind of Income Stream [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 70 | A Weather Forecast [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 69 | The Siren, The Headpat, and The Loaded Weapon
- Chapter 68 | Tumbleweeds, Bunnies, and Bitches
- Chapter 67 - 6-7 | We Can Be Messy Together [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 66 | About Next Saturday... [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 65 | My Mother, The Text-Nuke [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 64 | Marking Territory [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 63 | The Kissing Game Has No Rules [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 62 | The Rules of Engagement [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 61 | My Lips Say Yes, My Brain Says You’re an Idiot
- Chapter 60 | Navigating the Minefield of a Single Shared Wall
- Chapter 59 | My Girlfriend (Maybe?) Just Summoned Me With a Single Word [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 58 | My Apology Got a Failing Grade
- Chapter 57 | Socializing is a Daily Quest, Family is a Raid Boss
- Chapter 56 | My Social Skills Are Still Buffering, But At Least She Laughed
- Chapter 55 | My Required Reading Includes Two New Beauties
- Chapter 54 | My Wingman’s Only Move is a Lie
- Chapter 53 | Bros Before Hoes, Unless She’s Really Hot
- Chapter 52 | My Relationship Status is Now ’In Beta Testing’
- Chapter 51 | I Ruined Everything, But At Least I Got Legendary Loot
- Chapter 50 | Twenty Million Dollars is a Very Complicated Aphrodisiac
- Chapter 49 | The Terms and Conditions of My Affection
- Chapter 48 | My Brother’s Keeper Has Questions
- Chapter 47 | My Superpower is Tonguing Down Suspicions
- Chapter 46 | Post-Sex Negotiations Involve Korean Takeout
- Chapter 45 | We’re Going to Need a Bigger Towel
- Chapter 44 | Condoms Are for Overthinkers
- Chapter 43 | My First Time Was a Critical Hit
- Chapter 42 | Take This Upstairs
- Chapter 41 | This is Some Kind of Black Magic Fuckery
- Chapter 40 | I Lied, I Wanted You Here
- Chapter 39 | The Calypso Origin Story
- Chapter 38 | I’m Scared
- Chapter 37 | The Statistical Probability of You and Me
- Chapter 36 | Counter-Programming the Fear
- Chapter 35 | Three Feet Feels Like Three Inches
- Chapter 34 | Maximum Atmosphere
- Chapter 33 | A First Date in Aisle Five
- Chapter 32 | An Invitation to Watch Netflix (And Panic)
- Chapter 31 | Not a Date, or Something
- Chapter 30 | A Full Deck of Pain
- Chapter 29 | The Prada Bag Guy
- Chapter 28 | Oh. It’s You.
- Chapter 27 | Resisting the RNG
- Chapter 26 | Amazon Princesses and Other Goals
- Chapter 25 | Proximity Alert
- Chapter 24 | Maintenance Required
- Chapter 23 | The Biohazard Upgrade
- Chapter 22 | My Life Is A Gacha Game Now
- Chapter 21 | Do Not Get Attached to the Transaction
- Chapter 20 | Ground Rules for the Girl Next Door
- Chapter 19 | Welcome to Unit 403
- Chapter 18 | My Life Is A Sitcom
- Chapter 17 | The Thud From Unit 404
- Chapter 16 | The Girl in the Rearview Mirror
- Chapter 15 | We Both Drive a Honda Civic, So It Must Be Fate
- Chapter 14 | A Three-Thousand-Dollar Beta Test
- Chapter 13 | SLOT ONE: REGISTERED
- Chapter 12 | Registering Her is a Financial and Emotional Risk
- Chapter 11 | My Bank Account Just Leveled Up
- Chapter 10 | My Name Isn’t Ricky
- Chapter 9 | The Intimidation Fee is Apparently Complimentary
- Chapter 8 | A Social Interaction Buffed by Fabuloso
- Chapter 7 | Apparently, Cleaning Counts as Cardio
- Chapter 6 | You Are What You Don’t Throw Away
- Chapter 5 | My First Boss Fight is a Pizza Box
- Chapter 4 | There Is No Tomorrow
- Chapter 3 | You Have 24 Hours to Stop Being You
- Chapter 2 | Infinite Cashback: Active
- Chapter 1 | The Price of a Pathetic Fantasy
The protein bowl place was called FitFuel. It sat three blocks off campus in a strip mall between a yoga studio and a vitamin shop. The parking lot was half full with cars that screamed "I meal prep on Sundays." Teslas. Priuses. A couple of those electric bikes locked to the rack out front.
Jordan followed Kyle through the glass doors. The smell hit him immediately. Fresh fruit. Grilled chicken. That weird earthy scent that came from kale and spinach smoothies.
The menu board covered the entire wall behind the counter. Bowls. Wraps. Smoothies. Everything came with a calorie count listed next to the price like a warning label.
"First time here?" Kyle asked.
"Yeah."
"Get the Warrior Bowl. Quinoa base, grilled chicken, sweet potato, spinach, and this honey sriracha sauce that’s actually good."
Jordan looked at the prices. Fourteen dollars for a bowl. Sixteen if you added extra protein.
His bank account had nineteen hundred dollars in it now. Fourteen dollars was nothing.
"Sounds good. I’ll get that."
They moved up to the counter. The girl working the register wore a green FitFuel shirt and a smile that looked like it came from corporate training videos. Her name tag said Ashley.
"What can I get you guys?"
Kyle ordered first. The Warrior Bowl with extra chicken and a green smoothie that probably tasted like grass clippings.
"And for you?" Ashley looked at Jordan.
"Same bowl. No smoothie."
"Anything to drink?"
"Water’s fine."
Ashley rang them up. Twenty-nine dollars and forty-seven cents total.
Jordan pulled out his card before Kyle could reach for his wallet.
"I got it. Thanks for showing me the workout stuff."
Kyle raised an eyebrow. "You sure?"
"Yeah. You can get it next time."
"Alright. Appreciate it."
Jordan tapped his card on the reader. The transaction went through. Ashley handed him a plastic number stand with a big 37 printed on both sides.
"We’ll bring it out when it’s ready. Grab a seat anywhere."
Kyle led them to a booth near the window. The seats were that fake leather material that stuck to your legs when you wore shorts. Jordan slid in across from Kyle and set the number stand in the middle of the table.
A water station sat against the wall. Self-serve cups and a dispenser with lemon slices floating in it.
Kyle got up and filled two cups. He brought them back and slid one across the table.
Jordan drank half of it in one go. His body was screaming for hydration after sweating through an hour and a half of lifting and cardio.
Kyle drank his water slower. He set the cup down and looked at Jordan for a second longer than normal.
"So. I’m sorry about the thing."
Jordan paused mid-drink. "What thing?"
"The breakup. With Eliza."
Jordan set his cup down. The condensation left a ring on the table.
"How’d you know about that?"
Kyle’s face did this apologetic half-grimace. "Eliza’s been posting it on Instagram. Her and Cameron. Kissing on New Year’s. Matching captions about new beginnings and all that garbage."
Jordan’s chest tightened. He’d deleted Instagram two weeks ago specifically so he wouldn’t have to see that.
"Cameron’s been posting on Snapchat too," Kyle continued. "Stories of Eliza sleeping in his bed. Captions like ’what a way to wake up to the new year.’ Posted it like ten days ago."
Jordan gripped his water cup. The plastic crinkled under his fingers.
"I didn’t want to bring it up over text," Kyle said quickly. "Felt like one of those things you say in person. But look at you, man! That post-breakup lock in does something to guys. You look completely different."
The tightness in Jordan’s chest spread. Fuck. It still hurt. Knowing Eliza was out there posting Cameron like a trophy while Jordan had been rotting in his apartment crying over her.
"Yeah, well." Jordan’s voice came out rougher than he intended. "It still hurts. I really liked her."
Kyle nodded. Didn’t interrupt.
"But it’s all in the past now. Eliza got left in last year."
"Should’ve listened to me in November," Kyle said. "I told you she was shady."
Jordan laughed. It came out bitter. "Yeah. You did. I was too blind to see it."
Too desperate. Too pathetic. Too convinced that throwing money at her would make her love him back.
Kyle leaned forward. "Fuck Cameron. Fuck Eliza. We’re gonna find some women for us, man. Better ones."
"Yeah?"
"Hell yeah."
Jordan took another drink of water. "You still looking for your amazon princess?"
Kyle’s entire face lit up. "Of course. I love a woman who can kick my ass and has a nice ass."
Jordan choked on his water. He coughed and laughed at the same time while Kyle grinned like an idiot across the table.
"What? I know what I like."
"At least you’re honest about it."
"Life’s too short to pretend you don’t have a type."
Ashley appeared at their table holding two bowls. She set them down carefully and took the number stand.
"Enjoy."
The bowls looked exactly like the menu photos. Quinoa piled at the bottom. Grilled chicken strips on top. Sweet potato chunks. Spinach. The honey sriracha sauce drizzled over everything in a zigzag pattern.
Jordan picked up his fork. The first bite was good. Actually good. The sauce had this sweet heat that worked with the quinoa and chicken.
Kyle was already halfway through his bowl.
"So what’s your type?" Kyle asked between bites.
Jordan thought about it. Eliza had been his type. Blonde. Pretty. Popular. The kind of girl who looked good in photos and knew it.
But Chloe was different. Dark hair with blue streaks. Sharp eyes. The way she’d looked at him in her apartment yesterday without the mask and sunglasses. Smaller than Eliza but more real somehow.
"I don’t know anymore," Jordan said.
"Fair. Post-breakup is a good time to reset your standards anyway."
They ate in silence for a minute. The food was filling in a way that fast food never was. Jordan could feel his body processing the protein and carbs. Actual fuel instead of empty calories.
His phone buzzed in his pocket.
Jordan ignored it.
It buzzed again. Then a third time.
"You gonna check that?" Kyle asked.
Jordan pulled out his phone. Three notifications from the System.
💝 DAILY QUEST PROGRESS 💝
Social Objective: 0/3 beauties contacted
Current progress: You talked to Ashley at the register for 47 seconds. Does not meet minimum 2-minute requirement.
Get back out there.
Jordan locked his phone. 𝙛𝒓𝓮𝙚𝔀𝒆𝒃𝓷𝒐𝓿𝙚𝓵.𝙘𝒐𝒎
"My mom again?"
"Nah. Just some app notifications."
Kyle nodded and went back to his bowl. "You coming to class today?"
"Yeah. What do you have?"
"Econ 2 at nine. Math 31B at ten. You?"
"Same schedule."
"We can walk over together after this."
Jordan finished his bowl. The honey sriracha sauce had left his lips tingling. He drank the rest of his water and stared out the window at the parking lot.
A girl walked past. Black leggings. Oversized hoodie. Blonde hair in a messy bun.
His phone stayed silent.
Not her.
Another girl appeared. This one had dark hair pulled into a high ponytail. Athletic build. She was talking on her phone and laughing at something the other person said.
Still nothing.
"You good?" Kyle asked.
"Yeah. Just thinking."
"About?"
Chloe’s face when she opened the door yesterday. The way her eyes went wide when she realized who he was. The panic in her voice when she told him not to say her name in the hallway.
Twenty percent chemistry. That’s what the System said. Up from eight percent after one lunch and one conversation in her apartment.
But she’d told him to pretend she didn’t exist.
"Nothing important," Jordan said finally.
Kyle wiped his mouth with a napkin and checked his phone. "We got thirty minutes before class. You wanna head to campus or kill time here?"
"Let’s head over. I need to grab my textbooks from my car anyway."
===
[A/N:]
If you enjoyed this Chapter, please consider adding this story to your library and leaving a vote. Your support helps me keep writing, release more Chapters from my backlog, and speed up my updates.
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See you in the next Chapter!
☜(⌒▽⌒)☞
- Chapter 166 | The Spite Reservoir
- Chapter 165 | Athletic Poetry
- Chapter 164 | The Business of Two Girlfriends
- Chapter 163 | A Factory Reset and a Pout
- Chapter 162 | Teehee, Boyfriend
- Chapter 161 | How to Be a Boyfriend (Plural)
- Chapter 160 | The Part Where the Check Cashes [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 159 | The Opposite of a Fuckboy
- Chapter 158 | The Terms and Conditions of My Heart
- Chapter 157 | A Voice From Another Life
- Chapter 156 | The Unboxing and Assembly of My Romantic Downfall [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 155 | My Romantic Comedy Moment Was a Tech Support Ticket
- Chapter 154 | The Pre-Confrontation Tea Ceremony
- Chapter 153 | The Broken Compass Needle
- Chapter 152 | The Pragmatist’s Gambit
- Chapter 151 | My Girlfriend Plays 4D Chess, I Play Not Crashing My Hondeezy
- Chapter 150 | Lo-Fi Hip Hop and Indecent Proposals
- Chapter 149 | Carpal Tunnel is Not Cute, But This Rebate Is
- Chapter 148 | On Becoming a Human Shopping Cart
- Chapter 147 | A Wild Customer Service Employee Appears
- Chapter 146 | Welcome to Micro Center, Population: My Anxiety
- Chapter 145 | An Unscheduled Cinematic Cutscene
- Chapter 144 | From Blue-Screen-of-Death to a Feeling of Safety
- Chapter 143 | A Gas Station Confession and an Indecent Proposal
- Chapter 142 | The ROI of a Good Carpool Karaoke Session
- Chapter 141 | Starting a Business is Easy, Just Loan Your Baby Money
- Chapter 140 | Hooks [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 139 | Let’s Go Build Me an Empire [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 138 | StellarNote [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 137 | Something That Belonged Only to Her [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 136 | Tech Support
- Chapter 135 | Computer First, Therapy Later
- Chapter 134 | A Luxury We Can’t Afford [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 133 | The Queen in Repose
- Chapter 132 | Of All the Lofts in All the World...
- Chapter 131 | Professor Yamanaka’s Practical Exam
- Chapter 130 | A Wild Kumiko Appears
- Chapter 129 | A Sleepy Confession
- Chapter 128 | Schrödinger’s Lootbox
- Chapter 127 | Please Dance Responsibly [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 126 | The 72-Hour Ultimatum
- Chapter 125 | Biohazard Situation
- Chapter 124 | Don’t Move Yet
- Chapter 123 | G-Spot Overdrive
- Chapter 122 | The Calypso Protocol
- Chapter 121 | The ROI on a Little Black Dress
- Chapter 120 | My Evil Girlfriend is Trying to Kill Us
- Chapter 119 | An Under-the-Table Declaration of War
- Chapter 118 | The Meal Ticket Interrogation
- Chapter 117 | The Son You Knew is Dead
- Chapter 116 | Seventy-Five Percent and That Question
- Chapter 115 | The Adele Piece and the Alluring Whisper [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 114 | The Girl Who Doesn’t Share Well
- Chapter 113 | Past Tense and a Parent Problem
- Chapter 112 | The Blue Bikini and the Yandere’s Threat
- Chapter 111 | The Three-Body Problem (Swimsuit Edition)
- Chapter 110 | Final Electricity and the Fit of a Boyfriend
- Chapter 109 | The Tri-Color Fashion Gauntlet
- Chapter 108 | A Shopping Trip is a Four-Sided War
- Chapter 107 | Past Tense, Future Tense, and Present Tense
- Chapter 106 | My Streaming Empire Starts with an Adorable Robot [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 105 | The Girl Who Calculates Coffee and the Money Laundering Quest [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 104 | The Style War for a Simp’s Soul [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 103 | A Tsundere in Thigh-Highs [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 102 | The Girlfriend Selection Committee [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 101 | Investing in My Girlfriend [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 100 | Cute is What You Call a Puppy
- Chapter 99 | Thigh-Highs and Thermal Paste
- Chapter 98 | Left. Left. Left. Right. No, Left.
- Chapter 97 | What Do You Mean, ’Performing’?
- Chapter 96 | This Isn’t How You Set Up a Twitch Stream
- Chapter 95 | OBS Studio is a Terrible Wingman
- Chapter 94 | It Was Perfect. Wasn’t It?
- Chapter 93 | The Golden Ticket Feels a Little Tarnished
- Chapter 92 | My Fight, My Boyfriend
- Chapter 91 | How Do You Even Know That?
- Chapter 90 | You Upgraded
- Chapter 89 | You Can’t Out-Lift a Bad Diet
- Chapter 88 | Aggregate Demand and Three Competing Conversations
- Chapter 87 | My Girlfriend’s Breakfast Netted Me a $3.68 Profit
- Chapter 86 | My Boyfriend, My Brand, and The Friend Who Might Ruin Both
- Chapter 85 | We Said the Words
- Chapter 84 | I Chose Sleep Over Sex and Now We Have to Talk About Her Job
- Chapter 83 | My Girlfriend, My Friend, My Swamp Monster
- Chapter 82 | Comfort Over Style Tonight [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 81 | A Transactional Apology
- Chapter 80 | Cedar, Clean Laundry, and Him
- Chapter 79 | You Won’t Mind, Will You?
- Chapter 78 | The Wrong Answer And The Right Answer
- Chapter 77 | So, What’s Your Type?
- Chapter 76 | The Sanrio Store Option
- Chapter 75 | Guilty Feet
- Chapter 74 | Calypso Bleeds Through
- Chapter 73 | You Will Sing Or You Will Be Shamed
- Chapter 72 | You’re Gonna Scare The Hoes [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 71 | A Different Kind of Income Stream [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 70 | A Weather Forecast [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 69 | The Siren, The Headpat, and The Loaded Weapon
- Chapter 68 | Tumbleweeds, Bunnies, and Bitches
- Chapter 67 - 6-7 | We Can Be Messy Together [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 66 | About Next Saturday... [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 65 | My Mother, The Text-Nuke [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 64 | Marking Territory [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 63 | The Kissing Game Has No Rules [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 62 | The Rules of Engagement [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 61 | My Lips Say Yes, My Brain Says You’re an Idiot
- Chapter 60 | Navigating the Minefield of a Single Shared Wall
- Chapter 59 | My Girlfriend (Maybe?) Just Summoned Me With a Single Word [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 58 | My Apology Got a Failing Grade
- Chapter 57 | Socializing is a Daily Quest, Family is a Raid Boss
- Chapter 56 | My Social Skills Are Still Buffering, But At Least She Laughed
- Chapter 55 | My Required Reading Includes Two New Beauties
- Chapter 54 | My Wingman’s Only Move is a Lie
- Chapter 53 | Bros Before Hoes, Unless She’s Really Hot
- Chapter 52 | My Relationship Status is Now ’In Beta Testing’
- Chapter 51 | I Ruined Everything, But At Least I Got Legendary Loot
- Chapter 50 | Twenty Million Dollars is a Very Complicated Aphrodisiac
- Chapter 49 | The Terms and Conditions of My Affection
- Chapter 48 | My Brother’s Keeper Has Questions
- Chapter 47 | My Superpower is Tonguing Down Suspicions
- Chapter 46 | Post-Sex Negotiations Involve Korean Takeout
- Chapter 45 | We’re Going to Need a Bigger Towel
- Chapter 44 | Condoms Are for Overthinkers
- Chapter 43 | My First Time Was a Critical Hit
- Chapter 42 | Take This Upstairs
- Chapter 41 | This is Some Kind of Black Magic Fuckery
- Chapter 40 | I Lied, I Wanted You Here
- Chapter 39 | The Calypso Origin Story
- Chapter 38 | I’m Scared
- Chapter 37 | The Statistical Probability of You and Me
- Chapter 36 | Counter-Programming the Fear
- Chapter 35 | Three Feet Feels Like Three Inches
- Chapter 34 | Maximum Atmosphere
- Chapter 33 | A First Date in Aisle Five
- Chapter 32 | An Invitation to Watch Netflix (And Panic)
- Chapter 31 | Not a Date, or Something
- Chapter 30 | A Full Deck of Pain
- Chapter 29 | The Prada Bag Guy
- Chapter 28 | Oh. It’s You.
- Chapter 27 | Resisting the RNG
- Chapter 26 | Amazon Princesses and Other Goals
- Chapter 25 | Proximity Alert
- Chapter 24 | Maintenance Required
- Chapter 23 | The Biohazard Upgrade
- Chapter 22 | My Life Is A Gacha Game Now
- Chapter 21 | Do Not Get Attached to the Transaction
- Chapter 20 | Ground Rules for the Girl Next Door
- Chapter 19 | Welcome to Unit 403
- Chapter 18 | My Life Is A Sitcom
- Chapter 17 | The Thud From Unit 404
- Chapter 16 | The Girl in the Rearview Mirror
- Chapter 15 | We Both Drive a Honda Civic, So It Must Be Fate
- Chapter 14 | A Three-Thousand-Dollar Beta Test
- Chapter 13 | SLOT ONE: REGISTERED
- Chapter 12 | Registering Her is a Financial and Emotional Risk
- Chapter 11 | My Bank Account Just Leveled Up
- Chapter 10 | My Name Isn’t Ricky
- Chapter 9 | The Intimidation Fee is Apparently Complimentary
- Chapter 8 | A Social Interaction Buffed by Fabuloso
- Chapter 7 | Apparently, Cleaning Counts as Cardio
- Chapter 6 | You Are What You Don’t Throw Away
- Chapter 5 | My First Boss Fight is a Pizza Box
- Chapter 4 | There Is No Tomorrow
- Chapter 3 | You Have 24 Hours to Stop Being You
- Chapter 2 | Infinite Cashback: Active
- Chapter 1 | The Price of a Pathetic Fantasy
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