Infinite Cashback System
Chapter 14 | A Three-Thousand-Dollar Beta Test
- Chapter 166 | The Spite Reservoir
- Chapter 165 | Athletic Poetry
- Chapter 164 | The Business of Two Girlfriends
- Chapter 163 | A Factory Reset and a Pout
- Chapter 162 | Teehee, Boyfriend
- Chapter 161 | How to Be a Boyfriend (Plural)
- Chapter 160 | The Part Where the Check Cashes [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 159 | The Opposite of a Fuckboy
- Chapter 158 | The Terms and Conditions of My Heart
- Chapter 157 | A Voice From Another Life
- Chapter 156 | The Unboxing and Assembly of My Romantic Downfall [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 155 | My Romantic Comedy Moment Was a Tech Support Ticket
- Chapter 154 | The Pre-Confrontation Tea Ceremony
- Chapter 153 | The Broken Compass Needle
- Chapter 152 | The Pragmatist’s Gambit
- Chapter 151 | My Girlfriend Plays 4D Chess, I Play Not Crashing My Hondeezy
- Chapter 150 | Lo-Fi Hip Hop and Indecent Proposals
- Chapter 149 | Carpal Tunnel is Not Cute, But This Rebate Is
- Chapter 148 | On Becoming a Human Shopping Cart
- Chapter 147 | A Wild Customer Service Employee Appears
- Chapter 146 | Welcome to Micro Center, Population: My Anxiety
- Chapter 145 | An Unscheduled Cinematic Cutscene
- Chapter 144 | From Blue-Screen-of-Death to a Feeling of Safety
- Chapter 143 | A Gas Station Confession and an Indecent Proposal
- Chapter 142 | The ROI of a Good Carpool Karaoke Session
- Chapter 141 | Starting a Business is Easy, Just Loan Your Baby Money
- Chapter 140 | Hooks [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 139 | Let’s Go Build Me an Empire [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 138 | StellarNote [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 137 | Something That Belonged Only to Her [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 136 | Tech Support
- Chapter 135 | Computer First, Therapy Later
- Chapter 134 | A Luxury We Can’t Afford [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 133 | The Queen in Repose
- Chapter 132 | Of All the Lofts in All the World...
- Chapter 131 | Professor Yamanaka’s Practical Exam
- Chapter 130 | A Wild Kumiko Appears
- Chapter 129 | A Sleepy Confession
- Chapter 128 | Schrödinger’s Lootbox
- Chapter 127 | Please Dance Responsibly [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 126 | The 72-Hour Ultimatum
- Chapter 125 | Biohazard Situation
- Chapter 124 | Don’t Move Yet
- Chapter 123 | G-Spot Overdrive
- Chapter 122 | The Calypso Protocol
- Chapter 121 | The ROI on a Little Black Dress
- Chapter 120 | My Evil Girlfriend is Trying to Kill Us
- Chapter 119 | An Under-the-Table Declaration of War
- Chapter 118 | The Meal Ticket Interrogation
- Chapter 117 | The Son You Knew is Dead
- Chapter 116 | Seventy-Five Percent and That Question
- Chapter 115 | The Adele Piece and the Alluring Whisper [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 114 | The Girl Who Doesn’t Share Well
- Chapter 113 | Past Tense and a Parent Problem
- Chapter 112 | The Blue Bikini and the Yandere’s Threat
- Chapter 111 | The Three-Body Problem (Swimsuit Edition)
- Chapter 110 | Final Electricity and the Fit of a Boyfriend
- Chapter 109 | The Tri-Color Fashion Gauntlet
- Chapter 108 | A Shopping Trip is a Four-Sided War
- Chapter 107 | Past Tense, Future Tense, and Present Tense
- Chapter 106 | My Streaming Empire Starts with an Adorable Robot [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 105 | The Girl Who Calculates Coffee and the Money Laundering Quest [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 104 | The Style War for a Simp’s Soul [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 103 | A Tsundere in Thigh-Highs [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 102 | The Girlfriend Selection Committee [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 101 | Investing in My Girlfriend [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 100 | Cute is What You Call a Puppy
- Chapter 99 | Thigh-Highs and Thermal Paste
- Chapter 98 | Left. Left. Left. Right. No, Left.
- Chapter 97 | What Do You Mean, ’Performing’?
- Chapter 96 | This Isn’t How You Set Up a Twitch Stream
- Chapter 95 | OBS Studio is a Terrible Wingman
- Chapter 94 | It Was Perfect. Wasn’t It?
- Chapter 93 | The Golden Ticket Feels a Little Tarnished
- Chapter 92 | My Fight, My Boyfriend
- Chapter 91 | How Do You Even Know That?
- Chapter 90 | You Upgraded
- Chapter 89 | You Can’t Out-Lift a Bad Diet
- Chapter 88 | Aggregate Demand and Three Competing Conversations
- Chapter 87 | My Girlfriend’s Breakfast Netted Me a $3.68 Profit
- Chapter 86 | My Boyfriend, My Brand, and The Friend Who Might Ruin Both
- Chapter 85 | We Said the Words
- Chapter 84 | I Chose Sleep Over Sex and Now We Have to Talk About Her Job
- Chapter 83 | My Girlfriend, My Friend, My Swamp Monster
- Chapter 82 | Comfort Over Style Tonight [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 81 | A Transactional Apology
- Chapter 80 | Cedar, Clean Laundry, and Him
- Chapter 79 | You Won’t Mind, Will You?
- Chapter 78 | The Wrong Answer And The Right Answer
- Chapter 77 | So, What’s Your Type?
- Chapter 76 | The Sanrio Store Option
- Chapter 75 | Guilty Feet
- Chapter 74 | Calypso Bleeds Through
- Chapter 73 | You Will Sing Or You Will Be Shamed
- Chapter 72 | You’re Gonna Scare The Hoes [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 71 | A Different Kind of Income Stream [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 70 | A Weather Forecast [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 69 | The Siren, The Headpat, and The Loaded Weapon
- Chapter 68 | Tumbleweeds, Bunnies, and Bitches
- Chapter 67 - 6-7 | We Can Be Messy Together [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 66 | About Next Saturday... [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 65 | My Mother, The Text-Nuke [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 64 | Marking Territory [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 63 | The Kissing Game Has No Rules [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 62 | The Rules of Engagement [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 61 | My Lips Say Yes, My Brain Says You’re an Idiot
- Chapter 60 | Navigating the Minefield of a Single Shared Wall
- Chapter 59 | My Girlfriend (Maybe?) Just Summoned Me With a Single Word [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 58 | My Apology Got a Failing Grade
- Chapter 57 | Socializing is a Daily Quest, Family is a Raid Boss
- Chapter 56 | My Social Skills Are Still Buffering, But At Least She Laughed
- Chapter 55 | My Required Reading Includes Two New Beauties
- Chapter 54 | My Wingman’s Only Move is a Lie
- Chapter 53 | Bros Before Hoes, Unless She’s Really Hot
- Chapter 52 | My Relationship Status is Now ’In Beta Testing’
- Chapter 51 | I Ruined Everything, But At Least I Got Legendary Loot
- Chapter 50 | Twenty Million Dollars is a Very Complicated Aphrodisiac
- Chapter 49 | The Terms and Conditions of My Affection
- Chapter 48 | My Brother’s Keeper Has Questions
- Chapter 47 | My Superpower is Tonguing Down Suspicions
- Chapter 46 | Post-Sex Negotiations Involve Korean Takeout
- Chapter 45 | We’re Going to Need a Bigger Towel
- Chapter 44 | Condoms Are for Overthinkers
- Chapter 43 | My First Time Was a Critical Hit
- Chapter 42 | Take This Upstairs
- Chapter 41 | This is Some Kind of Black Magic Fuckery
- Chapter 40 | I Lied, I Wanted You Here
- Chapter 39 | The Calypso Origin Story
- Chapter 38 | I’m Scared
- Chapter 37 | The Statistical Probability of You and Me
- Chapter 36 | Counter-Programming the Fear
- Chapter 35 | Three Feet Feels Like Three Inches
- Chapter 34 | Maximum Atmosphere
- Chapter 33 | A First Date in Aisle Five
- Chapter 32 | An Invitation to Watch Netflix (And Panic)
- Chapter 31 | Not a Date, or Something
- Chapter 30 | A Full Deck of Pain
- Chapter 29 | The Prada Bag Guy
- Chapter 28 | Oh. It’s You.
- Chapter 27 | Resisting the RNG
- Chapter 26 | Amazon Princesses and Other Goals
- Chapter 25 | Proximity Alert
- Chapter 24 | Maintenance Required
- Chapter 23 | The Biohazard Upgrade
- Chapter 22 | My Life Is A Gacha Game Now
- Chapter 21 | Do Not Get Attached to the Transaction
- Chapter 20 | Ground Rules for the Girl Next Door
- Chapter 19 | Welcome to Unit 403
- Chapter 18 | My Life Is A Sitcom
- Chapter 17 | The Thud From Unit 404
- Chapter 16 | The Girl in the Rearview Mirror
- Chapter 15 | We Both Drive a Honda Civic, So It Must Be Fate
- Chapter 14 | A Three-Thousand-Dollar Beta Test
- Chapter 13 | SLOT ONE: REGISTERED
- Chapter 12 | Registering Her is a Financial and Emotional Risk
- Chapter 11 | My Bank Account Just Leveled Up
- Chapter 10 | My Name Isn’t Ricky
- Chapter 9 | The Intimidation Fee is Apparently Complimentary
- Chapter 8 | A Social Interaction Buffed by Fabuloso
- Chapter 7 | Apparently, Cleaning Counts as Cardio
- Chapter 6 | You Are What You Don’t Throw Away
- Chapter 5 | My First Boss Fight is a Pizza Box
- Chapter 4 | There Is No Tomorrow
- Chapter 3 | You Have 24 Hours to Stop Being You
- Chapter 2 | Infinite Cashback: Active
- Chapter 1 | The Price of a Pathetic Fantasy
Jordan raised his hand. His heart hammered against his ribs like it was trying to escape.
Chloe Kim.
The name bounced around his skull, familiar in a way he couldn’t place. Maybe she’d mentioned it in a DM once? Maybe he’d seen it on a class roster somewhere? The name was common enough. Probably just overthinking.
Calypso spotted him and waved back, her masked face tilting slightly. She walked toward the bench with small, careful steps. Her hips swayed with each movement, and Jordan forced himself to look at her eyes instead.
Well, her sunglasses.
She stopped about three feet away, close enough to talk but far enough to maintain professional distance. Her chest rose and fell faster than walking warranted.
She was nervous.
She’s nervous.
Jordan hadn’t expected that. In his head, Calypso was this untouchable figure who controlled every interaction through a screen. Seeing her fidget with the strap of her small crossbody bag made her suddenly, devastatingly real.
"Hey!" Her voice came out slightly higher than in her videos. "Hi!"
"Hey," Jordan said, because his brain had apparently decided to shut down all higher functions.
Chloe’s eyes tracked from his shoes up to his face. She took a full second looking at his hair.
"I like your hair! It looks really nice."
"Thanks." Jordan’s mouth kept moving without consulting his brain. "You’re, uh, very beautiful yourself today, Calypso."
Chloe laughed behind her mask. The sound was light, genuine, nothing like the sultry voice she used in her content.
"It feels weird to be called by that name in public." She glanced around like someone might overhear. "Should I call you by your username?"
Jordan’s username was JMcK_2006. Absolutely not.
"Nah, call me Ricky."
Chloe’s head tilted. "Ricky?"
"Long story."
"Okay then." She gestured toward the restaurant entrance. "Just call me Cali."
She moved past him toward the hostess stand, and Jordan caught a whiff of her perfume. Something sweet and clean, like vanilla and coconut. The kind of scent that made his monkey brain activate neurons it had no business activating.
The hostess looked up as they approached.
"Hi, I have a reservation for Cali," Chloe said.
The hostess checked her tablet, nodded, and grabbed two menus. "Right this way."
Jordan followed Chloe through the outdoor seating area toward a corner table with cushioned chairs and an overhead umbrella. The table was positioned perfectly for photos—natural lighting, greenery in the background, close enough to the action to feel exclusive but far enough away for privacy.
This wasn’t accidental. Chloe had picked this spot specifically because it photographed well.
They sat down across from each other. Jordan’s new boots knocked against the metal table leg.
"This spot must be popular if you need a reservation," Jordan said.
"Yeah, this place is really nice." Chloe placed her small purse on the chair beside her. "I’ve been wanting to try it for a while."
The hostess left the menus and promised their server would be right with them. Jordan picked up his menu and scanned the prices.
Twenty-eight dollars for a salad. Thirty-six for a sandwich. Forty-two for pasta.
He had over twelve hundred dollars in his account. This was fine.
Chloe opened her menu, her sunglasses still firmly in place. Jordan couldn’t see her eyes at all. Reading her body language was like trying to solve a puzzle missing half its pieces.
"So," Chloe said. "This is weird, right?"
"Little bit," Jordan admitted.
"I’ve never done this before." She turned a page in her menu. "The coffee date thing, I mean. You’re the first person who actually bought it."
Jordan’s stomach did a complicated flip. He was the first. The guinea pig. The test run.
Three thousand dollars to be a beta tester for an OnlyFans package deal. Great investment.
"How long have you been, uh..." Jordan trailed off, realizing he had no idea how to finish that sentence politely.
"Creating content?" Chloe supplied. "Six months. Started last summer."
Six months. That matched his subscription timeline almost exactly. He’d been there from practically the beginning, watching her go from lingerie photos to more explicit content, from three posts a week to daily uploads with personalized DMs.
He’d watched her build a business while he spiraled into depression over a girl who never liked him.
The server appeared. Young guy, maybe twenty-two, with styled hair and an apron that probably cost more than Jordan’s entire outfit.
"Welcome to The Ivy. Can I start you both with something to drink?"
"Water’s fine," Chloe said.
"Same," Jordan added.
The server nodded and disappeared.
Jordan leaned forward slightly. "Hey, I know this whole thing is technically, like, a business transaction or whatever. But I’m gonna pay for the food. My treat."
Chloe’s posture stiffened. "You really shouldn’t. You already paid three thousand for—"
"It’s my treat," Jordan interrupted. "Seriously. I’m offering."
A pause. Chloe’s fingers drummed against her menu.
"Okay," she said finally. "Thank you."
Jordan’s phone buzzed in his pocket.
He pulled it out slightly, angling the screen away from Chloe’s line of sight.
✨ ATTRACTION UPDATE ✨
Chloe Kim: 8% → 11% (+3%)
Note: Offering to pay demonstrated provider qualities. Small gain registered.
Current Rebate Rate: 0.22x
Keep going!
Jordan slid his phone back into his pocket.
Three percent. Offering to buy her food earned him three whole percentage points.
If he’d known the formula was this simple with Eliza, he could have saved himself four thousand dollars and a Christmas Day parking lot breakdown.
The server returned with their waters, asked if they were ready to order, and looked mildly disappointed when both of them said they needed another minute.
Chloe studied her menu with the focus of someone actually reading it instead of pretending. Jordan watched her from across the table. She was pretty. Objectively, scientifically pretty. The kind of pretty that made people stop scrolling through social media feeds.
But she was also just a girl. Eighteen years old, probably stressed about school, probably worried about whether this meeting would be awkward or dangerous or both.
"Can I ask you something?" Jordan said.
Chloe looked up. "Sure."
"You go to school?"
"Yeah." Chloe’s voice was careful now. "I’m a freshman. Communications major."
"Where at?"
A longer pause. Chloe’s hand moved to her water glass, turning it in small circles on the table.
"I’d rather not say."
Fair. Smart, even. Jordan was a stranger to her. A paying stranger, but still a stranger.
"That’s cool," Jordan said. "I get it."
"What about you?" Chloe asked, deflecting. "You in school?"
"Yeah. Pacific Crest. Business Econ."
"Oh." Something shifted in Chloe’s posture. Subtle, but there. "That’s a good school."
"Expensive school," Jordan corrected. "Good is still TBD."
Chloe laughed again behind her mask. The sound made Jordan’s chest do something stupid.
Stop it, he told his chest. She’s at eleven percent. Eleven percent is nothing.
The server came back. They ordered. Chloe got the grilled chicken salad, twenty-eight dollars. Jordan got a burger, thirty-two dollars.
When the server left, silence settled over the table like fog.
Chloe played with her straw wrapper. Jordan drank his water. The outdoor seating area hummed with other conversations, other people living their normal lives where they hadn’t paid three thousand dollars to sit across from someone wearing sunglasses and a mask.
"So," Chloe started. "What made you want to do this? The coffee date thing."
- Chapter 166 | The Spite Reservoir
- Chapter 165 | Athletic Poetry
- Chapter 164 | The Business of Two Girlfriends
- Chapter 163 | A Factory Reset and a Pout
- Chapter 162 | Teehee, Boyfriend
- Chapter 161 | How to Be a Boyfriend (Plural)
- Chapter 160 | The Part Where the Check Cashes [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 159 | The Opposite of a Fuckboy
- Chapter 158 | The Terms and Conditions of My Heart
- Chapter 157 | A Voice From Another Life
- Chapter 156 | The Unboxing and Assembly of My Romantic Downfall [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 155 | My Romantic Comedy Moment Was a Tech Support Ticket
- Chapter 154 | The Pre-Confrontation Tea Ceremony
- Chapter 153 | The Broken Compass Needle
- Chapter 152 | The Pragmatist’s Gambit
- Chapter 151 | My Girlfriend Plays 4D Chess, I Play Not Crashing My Hondeezy
- Chapter 150 | Lo-Fi Hip Hop and Indecent Proposals
- Chapter 149 | Carpal Tunnel is Not Cute, But This Rebate Is
- Chapter 148 | On Becoming a Human Shopping Cart
- Chapter 147 | A Wild Customer Service Employee Appears
- Chapter 146 | Welcome to Micro Center, Population: My Anxiety
- Chapter 145 | An Unscheduled Cinematic Cutscene
- Chapter 144 | From Blue-Screen-of-Death to a Feeling of Safety
- Chapter 143 | A Gas Station Confession and an Indecent Proposal
- Chapter 142 | The ROI of a Good Carpool Karaoke Session
- Chapter 141 | Starting a Business is Easy, Just Loan Your Baby Money
- Chapter 140 | Hooks [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 139 | Let’s Go Build Me an Empire [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 138 | StellarNote [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 137 | Something That Belonged Only to Her [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 136 | Tech Support
- Chapter 135 | Computer First, Therapy Later
- Chapter 134 | A Luxury We Can’t Afford [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 133 | The Queen in Repose
- Chapter 132 | Of All the Lofts in All the World...
- Chapter 131 | Professor Yamanaka’s Practical Exam
- Chapter 130 | A Wild Kumiko Appears
- Chapter 129 | A Sleepy Confession
- Chapter 128 | Schrödinger’s Lootbox
- Chapter 127 | Please Dance Responsibly [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 126 | The 72-Hour Ultimatum
- Chapter 125 | Biohazard Situation
- Chapter 124 | Don’t Move Yet
- Chapter 123 | G-Spot Overdrive
- Chapter 122 | The Calypso Protocol
- Chapter 121 | The ROI on a Little Black Dress
- Chapter 120 | My Evil Girlfriend is Trying to Kill Us
- Chapter 119 | An Under-the-Table Declaration of War
- Chapter 118 | The Meal Ticket Interrogation
- Chapter 117 | The Son You Knew is Dead
- Chapter 116 | Seventy-Five Percent and That Question
- Chapter 115 | The Adele Piece and the Alluring Whisper [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 114 | The Girl Who Doesn’t Share Well
- Chapter 113 | Past Tense and a Parent Problem
- Chapter 112 | The Blue Bikini and the Yandere’s Threat
- Chapter 111 | The Three-Body Problem (Swimsuit Edition)
- Chapter 110 | Final Electricity and the Fit of a Boyfriend
- Chapter 109 | The Tri-Color Fashion Gauntlet
- Chapter 108 | A Shopping Trip is a Four-Sided War
- Chapter 107 | Past Tense, Future Tense, and Present Tense
- Chapter 106 | My Streaming Empire Starts with an Adorable Robot [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 105 | The Girl Who Calculates Coffee and the Money Laundering Quest [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 104 | The Style War for a Simp’s Soul [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 103 | A Tsundere in Thigh-Highs [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 102 | The Girlfriend Selection Committee [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 101 | Investing in My Girlfriend [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 100 | Cute is What You Call a Puppy
- Chapter 99 | Thigh-Highs and Thermal Paste
- Chapter 98 | Left. Left. Left. Right. No, Left.
- Chapter 97 | What Do You Mean, ’Performing’?
- Chapter 96 | This Isn’t How You Set Up a Twitch Stream
- Chapter 95 | OBS Studio is a Terrible Wingman
- Chapter 94 | It Was Perfect. Wasn’t It?
- Chapter 93 | The Golden Ticket Feels a Little Tarnished
- Chapter 92 | My Fight, My Boyfriend
- Chapter 91 | How Do You Even Know That?
- Chapter 90 | You Upgraded
- Chapter 89 | You Can’t Out-Lift a Bad Diet
- Chapter 88 | Aggregate Demand and Three Competing Conversations
- Chapter 87 | My Girlfriend’s Breakfast Netted Me a $3.68 Profit
- Chapter 86 | My Boyfriend, My Brand, and The Friend Who Might Ruin Both
- Chapter 85 | We Said the Words
- Chapter 84 | I Chose Sleep Over Sex and Now We Have to Talk About Her Job
- Chapter 83 | My Girlfriend, My Friend, My Swamp Monster
- Chapter 82 | Comfort Over Style Tonight [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 81 | A Transactional Apology
- Chapter 80 | Cedar, Clean Laundry, and Him
- Chapter 79 | You Won’t Mind, Will You?
- Chapter 78 | The Wrong Answer And The Right Answer
- Chapter 77 | So, What’s Your Type?
- Chapter 76 | The Sanrio Store Option
- Chapter 75 | Guilty Feet
- Chapter 74 | Calypso Bleeds Through
- Chapter 73 | You Will Sing Or You Will Be Shamed
- Chapter 72 | You’re Gonna Scare The Hoes [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 71 | A Different Kind of Income Stream [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 70 | A Weather Forecast [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 69 | The Siren, The Headpat, and The Loaded Weapon
- Chapter 68 | Tumbleweeds, Bunnies, and Bitches
- Chapter 67 - 6-7 | We Can Be Messy Together [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 66 | About Next Saturday... [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 65 | My Mother, The Text-Nuke [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 64 | Marking Territory [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 63 | The Kissing Game Has No Rules [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 62 | The Rules of Engagement [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 61 | My Lips Say Yes, My Brain Says You’re an Idiot
- Chapter 60 | Navigating the Minefield of a Single Shared Wall
- Chapter 59 | My Girlfriend (Maybe?) Just Summoned Me With a Single Word [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 58 | My Apology Got a Failing Grade
- Chapter 57 | Socializing is a Daily Quest, Family is a Raid Boss
- Chapter 56 | My Social Skills Are Still Buffering, But At Least She Laughed
- Chapter 55 | My Required Reading Includes Two New Beauties
- Chapter 54 | My Wingman’s Only Move is a Lie
- Chapter 53 | Bros Before Hoes, Unless She’s Really Hot
- Chapter 52 | My Relationship Status is Now ’In Beta Testing’
- Chapter 51 | I Ruined Everything, But At Least I Got Legendary Loot
- Chapter 50 | Twenty Million Dollars is a Very Complicated Aphrodisiac
- Chapter 49 | The Terms and Conditions of My Affection
- Chapter 48 | My Brother’s Keeper Has Questions
- Chapter 47 | My Superpower is Tonguing Down Suspicions
- Chapter 46 | Post-Sex Negotiations Involve Korean Takeout
- Chapter 45 | We’re Going to Need a Bigger Towel
- Chapter 44 | Condoms Are for Overthinkers
- Chapter 43 | My First Time Was a Critical Hit
- Chapter 42 | Take This Upstairs
- Chapter 41 | This is Some Kind of Black Magic Fuckery
- Chapter 40 | I Lied, I Wanted You Here
- Chapter 39 | The Calypso Origin Story
- Chapter 38 | I’m Scared
- Chapter 37 | The Statistical Probability of You and Me
- Chapter 36 | Counter-Programming the Fear
- Chapter 35 | Three Feet Feels Like Three Inches
- Chapter 34 | Maximum Atmosphere
- Chapter 33 | A First Date in Aisle Five
- Chapter 32 | An Invitation to Watch Netflix (And Panic)
- Chapter 31 | Not a Date, or Something
- Chapter 30 | A Full Deck of Pain
- Chapter 29 | The Prada Bag Guy
- Chapter 28 | Oh. It’s You.
- Chapter 27 | Resisting the RNG
- Chapter 26 | Amazon Princesses and Other Goals
- Chapter 25 | Proximity Alert
- Chapter 24 | Maintenance Required
- Chapter 23 | The Biohazard Upgrade
- Chapter 22 | My Life Is A Gacha Game Now
- Chapter 21 | Do Not Get Attached to the Transaction
- Chapter 20 | Ground Rules for the Girl Next Door
- Chapter 19 | Welcome to Unit 403
- Chapter 18 | My Life Is A Sitcom
- Chapter 17 | The Thud From Unit 404
- Chapter 16 | The Girl in the Rearview Mirror
- Chapter 15 | We Both Drive a Honda Civic, So It Must Be Fate
- Chapter 14 | A Three-Thousand-Dollar Beta Test
- Chapter 13 | SLOT ONE: REGISTERED
- Chapter 12 | Registering Her is a Financial and Emotional Risk
- Chapter 11 | My Bank Account Just Leveled Up
- Chapter 10 | My Name Isn’t Ricky
- Chapter 9 | The Intimidation Fee is Apparently Complimentary
- Chapter 8 | A Social Interaction Buffed by Fabuloso
- Chapter 7 | Apparently, Cleaning Counts as Cardio
- Chapter 6 | You Are What You Don’t Throw Away
- Chapter 5 | My First Boss Fight is a Pizza Box
- Chapter 4 | There Is No Tomorrow
- Chapter 3 | You Have 24 Hours to Stop Being You
- Chapter 2 | Infinite Cashback: Active
- Chapter 1 | The Price of a Pathetic Fantasy
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