Infinite Cashback System
Chapter 145 | An Unscheduled Cinematic Cutscene
- Chapter 166 | The Spite Reservoir
- Chapter 165 | Athletic Poetry
- Chapter 164 | The Business of Two Girlfriends
- Chapter 163 | A Factory Reset and a Pout
- Chapter 162 | Teehee, Boyfriend
- Chapter 161 | How to Be a Boyfriend (Plural)
- Chapter 160 | The Part Where the Check Cashes [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 159 | The Opposite of a Fuckboy
- Chapter 158 | The Terms and Conditions of My Heart
- Chapter 157 | A Voice From Another Life
- Chapter 156 | The Unboxing and Assembly of My Romantic Downfall [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 155 | My Romantic Comedy Moment Was a Tech Support Ticket
- Chapter 154 | The Pre-Confrontation Tea Ceremony
- Chapter 153 | The Broken Compass Needle
- Chapter 152 | The Pragmatist’s Gambit
- Chapter 151 | My Girlfriend Plays 4D Chess, I Play Not Crashing My Hondeezy
- Chapter 150 | Lo-Fi Hip Hop and Indecent Proposals
- Chapter 149 | Carpal Tunnel is Not Cute, But This Rebate Is
- Chapter 148 | On Becoming a Human Shopping Cart
- Chapter 147 | A Wild Customer Service Employee Appears
- Chapter 146 | Welcome to Micro Center, Population: My Anxiety
- Chapter 145 | An Unscheduled Cinematic Cutscene
- Chapter 144 | From Blue-Screen-of-Death to a Feeling of Safety
- Chapter 143 | A Gas Station Confession and an Indecent Proposal
- Chapter 142 | The ROI of a Good Carpool Karaoke Session
- Chapter 141 | Starting a Business is Easy, Just Loan Your Baby Money
- Chapter 140 | Hooks [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 139 | Let’s Go Build Me an Empire [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 138 | StellarNote [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 137 | Something That Belonged Only to Her [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 136 | Tech Support
- Chapter 135 | Computer First, Therapy Later
- Chapter 134 | A Luxury We Can’t Afford [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 133 | The Queen in Repose
- Chapter 132 | Of All the Lofts in All the World...
- Chapter 131 | Professor Yamanaka’s Practical Exam
- Chapter 130 | A Wild Kumiko Appears
- Chapter 129 | A Sleepy Confession
- Chapter 128 | Schrödinger’s Lootbox
- Chapter 127 | Please Dance Responsibly [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 126 | The 72-Hour Ultimatum
- Chapter 125 | Biohazard Situation
- Chapter 124 | Don’t Move Yet
- Chapter 123 | G-Spot Overdrive
- Chapter 122 | The Calypso Protocol
- Chapter 121 | The ROI on a Little Black Dress
- Chapter 120 | My Evil Girlfriend is Trying to Kill Us
- Chapter 119 | An Under-the-Table Declaration of War
- Chapter 118 | The Meal Ticket Interrogation
- Chapter 117 | The Son You Knew is Dead
- Chapter 116 | Seventy-Five Percent and That Question
- Chapter 115 | The Adele Piece and the Alluring Whisper [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 114 | The Girl Who Doesn’t Share Well
- Chapter 113 | Past Tense and a Parent Problem
- Chapter 112 | The Blue Bikini and the Yandere’s Threat
- Chapter 111 | The Three-Body Problem (Swimsuit Edition)
- Chapter 110 | Final Electricity and the Fit of a Boyfriend
- Chapter 109 | The Tri-Color Fashion Gauntlet
- Chapter 108 | A Shopping Trip is a Four-Sided War
- Chapter 107 | Past Tense, Future Tense, and Present Tense
- Chapter 106 | My Streaming Empire Starts with an Adorable Robot [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 105 | The Girl Who Calculates Coffee and the Money Laundering Quest [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 104 | The Style War for a Simp’s Soul [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 103 | A Tsundere in Thigh-Highs [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 102 | The Girlfriend Selection Committee [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 101 | Investing in My Girlfriend [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 100 | Cute is What You Call a Puppy
- Chapter 99 | Thigh-Highs and Thermal Paste
- Chapter 98 | Left. Left. Left. Right. No, Left.
- Chapter 97 | What Do You Mean, ’Performing’?
- Chapter 96 | This Isn’t How You Set Up a Twitch Stream
- Chapter 95 | OBS Studio is a Terrible Wingman
- Chapter 94 | It Was Perfect. Wasn’t It?
- Chapter 93 | The Golden Ticket Feels a Little Tarnished
- Chapter 92 | My Fight, My Boyfriend
- Chapter 91 | How Do You Even Know That?
- Chapter 90 | You Upgraded
- Chapter 89 | You Can’t Out-Lift a Bad Diet
- Chapter 88 | Aggregate Demand and Three Competing Conversations
- Chapter 87 | My Girlfriend’s Breakfast Netted Me a $3.68 Profit
- Chapter 86 | My Boyfriend, My Brand, and The Friend Who Might Ruin Both
- Chapter 85 | We Said the Words
- Chapter 84 | I Chose Sleep Over Sex and Now We Have to Talk About Her Job
- Chapter 83 | My Girlfriend, My Friend, My Swamp Monster
- Chapter 82 | Comfort Over Style Tonight [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 81 | A Transactional Apology
- Chapter 80 | Cedar, Clean Laundry, and Him
- Chapter 79 | You Won’t Mind, Will You?
- Chapter 78 | The Wrong Answer And The Right Answer
- Chapter 77 | So, What’s Your Type?
- Chapter 76 | The Sanrio Store Option
- Chapter 75 | Guilty Feet
- Chapter 74 | Calypso Bleeds Through
- Chapter 73 | You Will Sing Or You Will Be Shamed
- Chapter 72 | You’re Gonna Scare The Hoes [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 71 | A Different Kind of Income Stream [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 70 | A Weather Forecast [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 69 | The Siren, The Headpat, and The Loaded Weapon
- Chapter 68 | Tumbleweeds, Bunnies, and Bitches
- Chapter 67 - 6-7 | We Can Be Messy Together [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 66 | About Next Saturday... [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 65 | My Mother, The Text-Nuke [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 64 | Marking Territory [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 63 | The Kissing Game Has No Rules [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 62 | The Rules of Engagement [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 61 | My Lips Say Yes, My Brain Says You’re an Idiot
- Chapter 60 | Navigating the Minefield of a Single Shared Wall
- Chapter 59 | My Girlfriend (Maybe?) Just Summoned Me With a Single Word [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 58 | My Apology Got a Failing Grade
- Chapter 57 | Socializing is a Daily Quest, Family is a Raid Boss
- Chapter 56 | My Social Skills Are Still Buffering, But At Least She Laughed
- Chapter 55 | My Required Reading Includes Two New Beauties
- Chapter 54 | My Wingman’s Only Move is a Lie
- Chapter 53 | Bros Before Hoes, Unless She’s Really Hot
- Chapter 52 | My Relationship Status is Now ’In Beta Testing’
- Chapter 51 | I Ruined Everything, But At Least I Got Legendary Loot
- Chapter 50 | Twenty Million Dollars is a Very Complicated Aphrodisiac
- Chapter 49 | The Terms and Conditions of My Affection
- Chapter 48 | My Brother’s Keeper Has Questions
- Chapter 47 | My Superpower is Tonguing Down Suspicions
- Chapter 46 | Post-Sex Negotiations Involve Korean Takeout
- Chapter 45 | We’re Going to Need a Bigger Towel
- Chapter 44 | Condoms Are for Overthinkers
- Chapter 43 | My First Time Was a Critical Hit
- Chapter 42 | Take This Upstairs
- Chapter 41 | This is Some Kind of Black Magic Fuckery
- Chapter 40 | I Lied, I Wanted You Here
- Chapter 39 | The Calypso Origin Story
- Chapter 38 | I’m Scared
- Chapter 37 | The Statistical Probability of You and Me
- Chapter 36 | Counter-Programming the Fear
- Chapter 35 | Three Feet Feels Like Three Inches
- Chapter 34 | Maximum Atmosphere
- Chapter 33 | A First Date in Aisle Five
- Chapter 32 | An Invitation to Watch Netflix (And Panic)
- Chapter 31 | Not a Date, or Something
- Chapter 30 | A Full Deck of Pain
- Chapter 29 | The Prada Bag Guy
- Chapter 28 | Oh. It’s You.
- Chapter 27 | Resisting the RNG
- Chapter 26 | Amazon Princesses and Other Goals
- Chapter 25 | Proximity Alert
- Chapter 24 | Maintenance Required
- Chapter 23 | The Biohazard Upgrade
- Chapter 22 | My Life Is A Gacha Game Now
- Chapter 21 | Do Not Get Attached to the Transaction
- Chapter 20 | Ground Rules for the Girl Next Door
- Chapter 19 | Welcome to Unit 403
- Chapter 18 | My Life Is A Sitcom
- Chapter 17 | The Thud From Unit 404
- Chapter 16 | The Girl in the Rearview Mirror
- Chapter 15 | We Both Drive a Honda Civic, So It Must Be Fate
- Chapter 14 | A Three-Thousand-Dollar Beta Test
- Chapter 13 | SLOT ONE: REGISTERED
- Chapter 12 | Registering Her is a Financial and Emotional Risk
- Chapter 11 | My Bank Account Just Leveled Up
- Chapter 10 | My Name Isn’t Ricky
- Chapter 9 | The Intimidation Fee is Apparently Complimentary
- Chapter 8 | A Social Interaction Buffed by Fabuloso
- Chapter 7 | Apparently, Cleaning Counts as Cardio
- Chapter 6 | You Are What You Don’t Throw Away
- Chapter 5 | My First Boss Fight is a Pizza Box
- Chapter 4 | There Is No Tomorrow
- Chapter 3 | You Have 24 Hours to Stop Being You
- Chapter 2 | Infinite Cashback: Active
- Chapter 1 | The Price of a Pathetic Fantasy
Kumiko had dated seven people since starting high school. Each relationship followed the same trajectory: she would fall immediately and completely, giving everything she had to someone who liked the idea of her more than the reality. The cosplay girl. The cute anime fan. The quirky friend who became a girlfriend for three weeks before the intensity of her devotion scared them off. Every single time, the other person decided she was too much. Too clingy. Too enthusiastic. Too present.
One ex told her that dating Kumiko felt like being watched by a very affectionate security camera.
Another said she texted too much.
A third simply stopped responding and then posted photos with someone else two days later.
Each rejection added another brick to a wall Kumiko pretended didn’t exist. She smiled. She streamed. She sewed costumes that took a hundred hours of meticulous detail work because pouring herself into fabric and thread was safer than pouring herself into people who could walk away.
But Jordan wouldn’t walk away. Jordan couldn’t walk away. Because Chloe was offering something that sounded insane and impossible and exactly like every fantasy Kumiko had convinced herself she would never get to live.
A boyfriend who would stay. Who had to stay.
If Jordan was hers, she would never let go.
She would learn his schedule and memorize his coffee order and show up where he needed her before he knew he needed her. She would make him costumes, couples cosplay, matching outfits that told the world they belonged together. She would stream with him, create content with him, build a life so thoroughly intertwined with his that the concept of separation would become architecturally impossible.
She would hold on so tight that nothing, no one, no force on earth could pry them apart.
The fantasy was beautiful. The fantasy was also, Kumiko knew with a lucidity she rarely possessed in these moments, the exact kind of thinking that had destroyed every relationship she had ever been in.
"You haven’t said anything," Chloe noted.
"I’m processing," Kumiko said. Her voice sounded foreign to her own ears. Too quiet. Too steady. The calm before the storm her therapist had warned her about, the one where she felt perfectly fine right up until the moment she absolutely wasn’t.
"Take your time," Chloe said. "He’s still getting snacks."
Through the windshield, Kumiko could see Jordan inside the Circle K, standing in front of the drink coolers with his phone in one hand and a basket in the other. He was reading the back of something. Probably a nutrition label. Probably because that friend of his, Kyle, had been lecturing him about macros and ingredient lists. The fluorescent lighting inside the store washed out his features, but even from forty feet away, Kumiko could see the way his shoulders filled out that black t-shirt.
She wanted to bite those shoulders.
The thought appeared and she did not chase it away. 𝐟𝕣𝕖𝐞𝐰𝕖𝚋𝐧𝗼𝚟𝐞𝕝.𝗰𝐨𝐦
"Chloe-chan."
"Yeah?"
"Are you serious?"
Chloe didn’t turn around. She kept her eyes on the store where Jordan was now heading toward the register with his basket. "I wouldn’t have asked if I wasn’t."
The bell above the Circle K door chimed. Jordan emerged into the afternoon sun, a plastic bag in one hand and three cans stacked in the crook of his opposite arm. He walked toward the car with that easy stride Kumiko had started noticing at karaoke, the one that was somehow both relaxed and purposeful. His hair caught the light, the natural dirty blonde that replaced the disaster box-dye job, and Kumiko’s stomach performed a maneuver that defied the laws of human anatomy.
The driver’s side door opened. Jordan folded himself into the seat, bringing with him the scent of cedar and the Circle K’s aggressive air freshener. He twisted to distribute his haul.
"Strawberry Pocky for Kumiko." He handed the pink box over the headrest, and Kumiko accepted it with both hands, her fingers brushing his for exactly one point three seconds. She counted. "Some kind of fancy sparkling water for Chloe because they were out of Ramune." He placed the can in Chloe’s cupholder. "And mango Arizona for me because I’m a man of simple tastes."
Jordan cracked open his Arizona and took a long drink, his throat working as he swallowed. A bead of condensation ran down the can and dripped onto his jeans. He wiped it with his thumb.
Kumiko held the Pocky box against her chest like a shield.
"We good?" Jordan glanced at Chloe, then checked the rearview mirror to make eye contact with Kumiko. "Ready to spend some money?"
The car was silent.
Not the comfortable silence of friends enjoying each other’s company. Not the loaded silence of an argument waiting to happen. This was the kind of silence that existed in the empty space between a lightning strike and the thunder that followed, the moment where sound itself held its breath.
Kumiko said nothing. She couldn’t. The Pocky box crinkled faintly in her grip.
Chloe said nothing. She sipped her sparkling water and looked out the passenger window at the gas station’s price sign, $4.89 for regular.
Jordan’s eyebrows drew together. He looked at Chloe. He looked at Kumiko in the mirror again. He opened his mouth, probably to ask what happened while he was inside.
A tumbleweed rolled across the parking lot.
Not metaphorically. An actual, physical tumbleweed, brown and round and perfectly spherical, emerged from behind the Circle K dumpster enclosure and drifted across the concrete at approximately three miles per hour. It passed directly in front of the Honda Civic’s bumper with the kind of cinematic timing that suggested someone, somewhere, had a deeply messed up sense of humor. The tumbleweed continued its journey across the parking lot, through a gap between two parked cars, and disappeared behind a chain-link fence bordering the adjacent property.
Jordan watched the entire journey with an expression that started at confusion, transitioned through recognition, and settled on a resignation so deep it could have been mistaken for spiritual acceptance.
He nodded once. Slowly. As though the universe had just confirmed something he had suspected but hoped was wrong.
He put the car in reverse, backed out of the parking spot, and pulled onto the street toward Micro Center without saying a word.
Kumiko sat in the backseat, the Pocky box still pressed to her chest, the afternoon sun warm on her face through the window, and thought about a boy with hazel eyes and a voice like honey and what it would feel like to finally, finally, finally have someone who wouldn’t leave.
The Arizona can sweated in the cupholder.
The GPS said twenty minutes to their destination.
Nobody spoke.
- Chapter 166 | The Spite Reservoir
- Chapter 165 | Athletic Poetry
- Chapter 164 | The Business of Two Girlfriends
- Chapter 163 | A Factory Reset and a Pout
- Chapter 162 | Teehee, Boyfriend
- Chapter 161 | How to Be a Boyfriend (Plural)
- Chapter 160 | The Part Where the Check Cashes [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 159 | The Opposite of a Fuckboy
- Chapter 158 | The Terms and Conditions of My Heart
- Chapter 157 | A Voice From Another Life
- Chapter 156 | The Unboxing and Assembly of My Romantic Downfall [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 155 | My Romantic Comedy Moment Was a Tech Support Ticket
- Chapter 154 | The Pre-Confrontation Tea Ceremony
- Chapter 153 | The Broken Compass Needle
- Chapter 152 | The Pragmatist’s Gambit
- Chapter 151 | My Girlfriend Plays 4D Chess, I Play Not Crashing My Hondeezy
- Chapter 150 | Lo-Fi Hip Hop and Indecent Proposals
- Chapter 149 | Carpal Tunnel is Not Cute, But This Rebate Is
- Chapter 148 | On Becoming a Human Shopping Cart
- Chapter 147 | A Wild Customer Service Employee Appears
- Chapter 146 | Welcome to Micro Center, Population: My Anxiety
- Chapter 145 | An Unscheduled Cinematic Cutscene
- Chapter 144 | From Blue-Screen-of-Death to a Feeling of Safety
- Chapter 143 | A Gas Station Confession and an Indecent Proposal
- Chapter 142 | The ROI of a Good Carpool Karaoke Session
- Chapter 141 | Starting a Business is Easy, Just Loan Your Baby Money
- Chapter 140 | Hooks [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 139 | Let’s Go Build Me an Empire [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 138 | StellarNote [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 137 | Something That Belonged Only to Her [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 136 | Tech Support
- Chapter 135 | Computer First, Therapy Later
- Chapter 134 | A Luxury We Can’t Afford [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 133 | The Queen in Repose
- Chapter 132 | Of All the Lofts in All the World...
- Chapter 131 | Professor Yamanaka’s Practical Exam
- Chapter 130 | A Wild Kumiko Appears
- Chapter 129 | A Sleepy Confession
- Chapter 128 | Schrödinger’s Lootbox
- Chapter 127 | Please Dance Responsibly [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 126 | The 72-Hour Ultimatum
- Chapter 125 | Biohazard Situation
- Chapter 124 | Don’t Move Yet
- Chapter 123 | G-Spot Overdrive
- Chapter 122 | The Calypso Protocol
- Chapter 121 | The ROI on a Little Black Dress
- Chapter 120 | My Evil Girlfriend is Trying to Kill Us
- Chapter 119 | An Under-the-Table Declaration of War
- Chapter 118 | The Meal Ticket Interrogation
- Chapter 117 | The Son You Knew is Dead
- Chapter 116 | Seventy-Five Percent and That Question
- Chapter 115 | The Adele Piece and the Alluring Whisper [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 114 | The Girl Who Doesn’t Share Well
- Chapter 113 | Past Tense and a Parent Problem
- Chapter 112 | The Blue Bikini and the Yandere’s Threat
- Chapter 111 | The Three-Body Problem (Swimsuit Edition)
- Chapter 110 | Final Electricity and the Fit of a Boyfriend
- Chapter 109 | The Tri-Color Fashion Gauntlet
- Chapter 108 | A Shopping Trip is a Four-Sided War
- Chapter 107 | Past Tense, Future Tense, and Present Tense
- Chapter 106 | My Streaming Empire Starts with an Adorable Robot [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 105 | The Girl Who Calculates Coffee and the Money Laundering Quest [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 104 | The Style War for a Simp’s Soul [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 103 | A Tsundere in Thigh-Highs [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 102 | The Girlfriend Selection Committee [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 101 | Investing in My Girlfriend [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 100 | Cute is What You Call a Puppy
- Chapter 99 | Thigh-Highs and Thermal Paste
- Chapter 98 | Left. Left. Left. Right. No, Left.
- Chapter 97 | What Do You Mean, ’Performing’?
- Chapter 96 | This Isn’t How You Set Up a Twitch Stream
- Chapter 95 | OBS Studio is a Terrible Wingman
- Chapter 94 | It Was Perfect. Wasn’t It?
- Chapter 93 | The Golden Ticket Feels a Little Tarnished
- Chapter 92 | My Fight, My Boyfriend
- Chapter 91 | How Do You Even Know That?
- Chapter 90 | You Upgraded
- Chapter 89 | You Can’t Out-Lift a Bad Diet
- Chapter 88 | Aggregate Demand and Three Competing Conversations
- Chapter 87 | My Girlfriend’s Breakfast Netted Me a $3.68 Profit
- Chapter 86 | My Boyfriend, My Brand, and The Friend Who Might Ruin Both
- Chapter 85 | We Said the Words
- Chapter 84 | I Chose Sleep Over Sex and Now We Have to Talk About Her Job
- Chapter 83 | My Girlfriend, My Friend, My Swamp Monster
- Chapter 82 | Comfort Over Style Tonight [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 81 | A Transactional Apology
- Chapter 80 | Cedar, Clean Laundry, and Him
- Chapter 79 | You Won’t Mind, Will You?
- Chapter 78 | The Wrong Answer And The Right Answer
- Chapter 77 | So, What’s Your Type?
- Chapter 76 | The Sanrio Store Option
- Chapter 75 | Guilty Feet
- Chapter 74 | Calypso Bleeds Through
- Chapter 73 | You Will Sing Or You Will Be Shamed
- Chapter 72 | You’re Gonna Scare The Hoes [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 71 | A Different Kind of Income Stream [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 70 | A Weather Forecast [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 69 | The Siren, The Headpat, and The Loaded Weapon
- Chapter 68 | Tumbleweeds, Bunnies, and Bitches
- Chapter 67 - 6-7 | We Can Be Messy Together [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 66 | About Next Saturday... [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 65 | My Mother, The Text-Nuke [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 64 | Marking Territory [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 63 | The Kissing Game Has No Rules [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 62 | The Rules of Engagement [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 61 | My Lips Say Yes, My Brain Says You’re an Idiot
- Chapter 60 | Navigating the Minefield of a Single Shared Wall
- Chapter 59 | My Girlfriend (Maybe?) Just Summoned Me With a Single Word [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 58 | My Apology Got a Failing Grade
- Chapter 57 | Socializing is a Daily Quest, Family is a Raid Boss
- Chapter 56 | My Social Skills Are Still Buffering, But At Least She Laughed
- Chapter 55 | My Required Reading Includes Two New Beauties
- Chapter 54 | My Wingman’s Only Move is a Lie
- Chapter 53 | Bros Before Hoes, Unless She’s Really Hot
- Chapter 52 | My Relationship Status is Now ’In Beta Testing’
- Chapter 51 | I Ruined Everything, But At Least I Got Legendary Loot
- Chapter 50 | Twenty Million Dollars is a Very Complicated Aphrodisiac
- Chapter 49 | The Terms and Conditions of My Affection
- Chapter 48 | My Brother’s Keeper Has Questions
- Chapter 47 | My Superpower is Tonguing Down Suspicions
- Chapter 46 | Post-Sex Negotiations Involve Korean Takeout
- Chapter 45 | We’re Going to Need a Bigger Towel
- Chapter 44 | Condoms Are for Overthinkers
- Chapter 43 | My First Time Was a Critical Hit
- Chapter 42 | Take This Upstairs
- Chapter 41 | This is Some Kind of Black Magic Fuckery
- Chapter 40 | I Lied, I Wanted You Here
- Chapter 39 | The Calypso Origin Story
- Chapter 38 | I’m Scared
- Chapter 37 | The Statistical Probability of You and Me
- Chapter 36 | Counter-Programming the Fear
- Chapter 35 | Three Feet Feels Like Three Inches
- Chapter 34 | Maximum Atmosphere
- Chapter 33 | A First Date in Aisle Five
- Chapter 32 | An Invitation to Watch Netflix (And Panic)
- Chapter 31 | Not a Date, or Something
- Chapter 30 | A Full Deck of Pain
- Chapter 29 | The Prada Bag Guy
- Chapter 28 | Oh. It’s You.
- Chapter 27 | Resisting the RNG
- Chapter 26 | Amazon Princesses and Other Goals
- Chapter 25 | Proximity Alert
- Chapter 24 | Maintenance Required
- Chapter 23 | The Biohazard Upgrade
- Chapter 22 | My Life Is A Gacha Game Now
- Chapter 21 | Do Not Get Attached to the Transaction
- Chapter 20 | Ground Rules for the Girl Next Door
- Chapter 19 | Welcome to Unit 403
- Chapter 18 | My Life Is A Sitcom
- Chapter 17 | The Thud From Unit 404
- Chapter 16 | The Girl in the Rearview Mirror
- Chapter 15 | We Both Drive a Honda Civic, So It Must Be Fate
- Chapter 14 | A Three-Thousand-Dollar Beta Test
- Chapter 13 | SLOT ONE: REGISTERED
- Chapter 12 | Registering Her is a Financial and Emotional Risk
- Chapter 11 | My Bank Account Just Leveled Up
- Chapter 10 | My Name Isn’t Ricky
- Chapter 9 | The Intimidation Fee is Apparently Complimentary
- Chapter 8 | A Social Interaction Buffed by Fabuloso
- Chapter 7 | Apparently, Cleaning Counts as Cardio
- Chapter 6 | You Are What You Don’t Throw Away
- Chapter 5 | My First Boss Fight is a Pizza Box
- Chapter 4 | There Is No Tomorrow
- Chapter 3 | You Have 24 Hours to Stop Being You
- Chapter 2 | Infinite Cashback: Active
- Chapter 1 | The Price of a Pathetic Fantasy
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