Infinite Cashback System
Chapter 24 | Maintenance Required
- Chapter 166 | The Spite Reservoir
- Chapter 165 | Athletic Poetry
- Chapter 164 | The Business of Two Girlfriends
- Chapter 163 | A Factory Reset and a Pout
- Chapter 162 | Teehee, Boyfriend
- Chapter 161 | How to Be a Boyfriend (Plural)
- Chapter 160 | The Part Where the Check Cashes [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 159 | The Opposite of a Fuckboy
- Chapter 158 | The Terms and Conditions of My Heart
- Chapter 157 | A Voice From Another Life
- Chapter 156 | The Unboxing and Assembly of My Romantic Downfall [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 155 | My Romantic Comedy Moment Was a Tech Support Ticket
- Chapter 154 | The Pre-Confrontation Tea Ceremony
- Chapter 153 | The Broken Compass Needle
- Chapter 152 | The Pragmatist’s Gambit
- Chapter 151 | My Girlfriend Plays 4D Chess, I Play Not Crashing My Hondeezy
- Chapter 150 | Lo-Fi Hip Hop and Indecent Proposals
- Chapter 149 | Carpal Tunnel is Not Cute, But This Rebate Is
- Chapter 148 | On Becoming a Human Shopping Cart
- Chapter 147 | A Wild Customer Service Employee Appears
- Chapter 146 | Welcome to Micro Center, Population: My Anxiety
- Chapter 145 | An Unscheduled Cinematic Cutscene
- Chapter 144 | From Blue-Screen-of-Death to a Feeling of Safety
- Chapter 143 | A Gas Station Confession and an Indecent Proposal
- Chapter 142 | The ROI of a Good Carpool Karaoke Session
- Chapter 141 | Starting a Business is Easy, Just Loan Your Baby Money
- Chapter 140 | Hooks [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 139 | Let’s Go Build Me an Empire [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 138 | StellarNote [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 137 | Something That Belonged Only to Her [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 136 | Tech Support
- Chapter 135 | Computer First, Therapy Later
- Chapter 134 | A Luxury We Can’t Afford [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 133 | The Queen in Repose
- Chapter 132 | Of All the Lofts in All the World...
- Chapter 131 | Professor Yamanaka’s Practical Exam
- Chapter 130 | A Wild Kumiko Appears
- Chapter 129 | A Sleepy Confession
- Chapter 128 | Schrödinger’s Lootbox
- Chapter 127 | Please Dance Responsibly [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 126 | The 72-Hour Ultimatum
- Chapter 125 | Biohazard Situation
- Chapter 124 | Don’t Move Yet
- Chapter 123 | G-Spot Overdrive
- Chapter 122 | The Calypso Protocol
- Chapter 121 | The ROI on a Little Black Dress
- Chapter 120 | My Evil Girlfriend is Trying to Kill Us
- Chapter 119 | An Under-the-Table Declaration of War
- Chapter 118 | The Meal Ticket Interrogation
- Chapter 117 | The Son You Knew is Dead
- Chapter 116 | Seventy-Five Percent and That Question
- Chapter 115 | The Adele Piece and the Alluring Whisper [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 114 | The Girl Who Doesn’t Share Well
- Chapter 113 | Past Tense and a Parent Problem
- Chapter 112 | The Blue Bikini and the Yandere’s Threat
- Chapter 111 | The Three-Body Problem (Swimsuit Edition)
- Chapter 110 | Final Electricity and the Fit of a Boyfriend
- Chapter 109 | The Tri-Color Fashion Gauntlet
- Chapter 108 | A Shopping Trip is a Four-Sided War
- Chapter 107 | Past Tense, Future Tense, and Present Tense
- Chapter 106 | My Streaming Empire Starts with an Adorable Robot [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 105 | The Girl Who Calculates Coffee and the Money Laundering Quest [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 104 | The Style War for a Simp’s Soul [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 103 | A Tsundere in Thigh-Highs [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 102 | The Girlfriend Selection Committee [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 101 | Investing in My Girlfriend [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 100 | Cute is What You Call a Puppy
- Chapter 99 | Thigh-Highs and Thermal Paste
- Chapter 98 | Left. Left. Left. Right. No, Left.
- Chapter 97 | What Do You Mean, ’Performing’?
- Chapter 96 | This Isn’t How You Set Up a Twitch Stream
- Chapter 95 | OBS Studio is a Terrible Wingman
- Chapter 94 | It Was Perfect. Wasn’t It?
- Chapter 93 | The Golden Ticket Feels a Little Tarnished
- Chapter 92 | My Fight, My Boyfriend
- Chapter 91 | How Do You Even Know That?
- Chapter 90 | You Upgraded
- Chapter 89 | You Can’t Out-Lift a Bad Diet
- Chapter 88 | Aggregate Demand and Three Competing Conversations
- Chapter 87 | My Girlfriend’s Breakfast Netted Me a $3.68 Profit
- Chapter 86 | My Boyfriend, My Brand, and The Friend Who Might Ruin Both
- Chapter 85 | We Said the Words
- Chapter 84 | I Chose Sleep Over Sex and Now We Have to Talk About Her Job
- Chapter 83 | My Girlfriend, My Friend, My Swamp Monster
- Chapter 82 | Comfort Over Style Tonight [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 81 | A Transactional Apology
- Chapter 80 | Cedar, Clean Laundry, and Him
- Chapter 79 | You Won’t Mind, Will You?
- Chapter 78 | The Wrong Answer And The Right Answer
- Chapter 77 | So, What’s Your Type?
- Chapter 76 | The Sanrio Store Option
- Chapter 75 | Guilty Feet
- Chapter 74 | Calypso Bleeds Through
- Chapter 73 | You Will Sing Or You Will Be Shamed
- Chapter 72 | You’re Gonna Scare The Hoes [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 71 | A Different Kind of Income Stream [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 70 | A Weather Forecast [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 69 | The Siren, The Headpat, and The Loaded Weapon
- Chapter 68 | Tumbleweeds, Bunnies, and Bitches
- Chapter 67 - 6-7 | We Can Be Messy Together [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 66 | About Next Saturday... [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 65 | My Mother, The Text-Nuke [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 64 | Marking Territory [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 63 | The Kissing Game Has No Rules [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 62 | The Rules of Engagement [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 61 | My Lips Say Yes, My Brain Says You’re an Idiot
- Chapter 60 | Navigating the Minefield of a Single Shared Wall
- Chapter 59 | My Girlfriend (Maybe?) Just Summoned Me With a Single Word [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 58 | My Apology Got a Failing Grade
- Chapter 57 | Socializing is a Daily Quest, Family is a Raid Boss
- Chapter 56 | My Social Skills Are Still Buffering, But At Least She Laughed
- Chapter 55 | My Required Reading Includes Two New Beauties
- Chapter 54 | My Wingman’s Only Move is a Lie
- Chapter 53 | Bros Before Hoes, Unless She’s Really Hot
- Chapter 52 | My Relationship Status is Now ’In Beta Testing’
- Chapter 51 | I Ruined Everything, But At Least I Got Legendary Loot
- Chapter 50 | Twenty Million Dollars is a Very Complicated Aphrodisiac
- Chapter 49 | The Terms and Conditions of My Affection
- Chapter 48 | My Brother’s Keeper Has Questions
- Chapter 47 | My Superpower is Tonguing Down Suspicions
- Chapter 46 | Post-Sex Negotiations Involve Korean Takeout
- Chapter 45 | We’re Going to Need a Bigger Towel
- Chapter 44 | Condoms Are for Overthinkers
- Chapter 43 | My First Time Was a Critical Hit
- Chapter 42 | Take This Upstairs
- Chapter 41 | This is Some Kind of Black Magic Fuckery
- Chapter 40 | I Lied, I Wanted You Here
- Chapter 39 | The Calypso Origin Story
- Chapter 38 | I’m Scared
- Chapter 37 | The Statistical Probability of You and Me
- Chapter 36 | Counter-Programming the Fear
- Chapter 35 | Three Feet Feels Like Three Inches
- Chapter 34 | Maximum Atmosphere
- Chapter 33 | A First Date in Aisle Five
- Chapter 32 | An Invitation to Watch Netflix (And Panic)
- Chapter 31 | Not a Date, or Something
- Chapter 30 | A Full Deck of Pain
- Chapter 29 | The Prada Bag Guy
- Chapter 28 | Oh. It’s You.
- Chapter 27 | Resisting the RNG
- Chapter 26 | Amazon Princesses and Other Goals
- Chapter 25 | Proximity Alert
- Chapter 24 | Maintenance Required
- Chapter 23 | The Biohazard Upgrade
- Chapter 22 | My Life Is A Gacha Game Now
- Chapter 21 | Do Not Get Attached to the Transaction
- Chapter 20 | Ground Rules for the Girl Next Door
- Chapter 19 | Welcome to Unit 403
- Chapter 18 | My Life Is A Sitcom
- Chapter 17 | The Thud From Unit 404
- Chapter 16 | The Girl in the Rearview Mirror
- Chapter 15 | We Both Drive a Honda Civic, So It Must Be Fate
- Chapter 14 | A Three-Thousand-Dollar Beta Test
- Chapter 13 | SLOT ONE: REGISTERED
- Chapter 12 | Registering Her is a Financial and Emotional Risk
- Chapter 11 | My Bank Account Just Leveled Up
- Chapter 10 | My Name Isn’t Ricky
- Chapter 9 | The Intimidation Fee is Apparently Complimentary
- Chapter 8 | A Social Interaction Buffed by Fabuloso
- Chapter 7 | Apparently, Cleaning Counts as Cardio
- Chapter 6 | You Are What You Don’t Throw Away
- Chapter 5 | My First Boss Fight is a Pizza Box
- Chapter 4 | There Is No Tomorrow
- Chapter 3 | You Have 24 Hours to Stop Being You
- Chapter 2 | Infinite Cashback: Active
- Chapter 1 | The Price of a Pathetic Fantasy
Jordan woke up and his body felt like it had been rebuilt from scratch.
No aches. No creaky joints. No lower back screaming at him for sleeping wrong. Just this clean energy running through his muscles like he’d somehow gotten eight hours of perfect sleep instead of the usual restless tossing.
He sat up. Stretched. His shoulders rolled back smooth and easy.
The hell?
Jordan looked down at his stomach. The abs were still there. Six distinct lines cutting down his torso like someone had carved them with a chisel. His chest had actual shape to it now, pecs that filled out space instead of just existing as soft nothing.
The Tune Up trait hadn’t worn off overnight.
Jordan stood and walked to the bathroom. His reflection stared back at him from the freshly cleaned mirror. Same hazel eyes. Same newly fixed hair. But his jaw looked sharper. His cheekbones more defined. The dark circles under his eyes had faded to almost nothing.
He looked like someone who went to bed at a reasonable hour instead of staying up until four AM watching League streams.
Jordan grabbed his phone from the nightstand. 7:23 AM. The daily quest had reset at midnight according to the notification he’d gotten last night.
He opened the System interface.
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
DAILY QUEST: Path to Becoming Adonis
OBJECTIVES:
[ ] Physical: Log 90 minutes of physical activity
[ ] Hygiene Level 1: Shower using actual soap
[ ] Hygiene Level 2: Brush teeth for a full two minutes. Floss.
[ ] Grooming: Apply basic skincare (Wash. Moisturize. Sunscreen.)
[ ] Social: Speak to three different beauties for two minutes each. (Requirement: Maintain eye contact. Do not apologize for existing. Do not offer to buy them anything.)
REWARDS:
Full Stamina Recovery
3 Quest Tickets 🎟️
━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━
Same objectives as yesterday. Ninety minutes of physical activity topped the list.
Jordan stared at the requirement. An itch started under his skin, a restless energy that had nowhere to go in his clean apartment.
The thought of staying inside, of doing nothing with this new body, felt fundamentally wrong.
Yesterday he’d completed the physical activity requirement by accident. Five hours of cleaning his disaster apartment had counted toward the total. But today his apartment was clean. No trash bags to haul. No mattress to vacuum. No biological anomalies to excavate from under his bed.
He had to actually choose to do the work.
Jordan walked back to his bedroom and opened his closet. His gym clothes sat folded on the shelf where he’d put them after washing everything yesterday. Black shorts. Grey tank top. Running shoes that he’d bought freshman year and worn exactly twice.
He looked at the clothes, and the familiar excuses surfaced on instinct. Too tired. Too sore. Maybe tomorrow. But the System’s warning cut through the whining:
This is not permanent. Maintenance required through proper diet, exercise, and self-care.
He had abs right now. A body that looked like it belonged to someone who actually gave a shit. But if he sat on his ass and went back to his old habits, this would all disappear. The muscle would melt. The fat would return. He’d wake up one morning looking like the guy who got cucked in a parking lot on Christmas.
Not happening.
Jordan grabbed the gym clothes and changed. The tank top fit better now. His shoulders filled it out. His arms looked bigger than they had any right to be after one magical gacha pull.
He checked his reflection one more time. The guy staring back at him looked ready to actually work out instead of just pretending.
Good start.
Jordan walked downstairs and stood in his living room. The problem was obvious. He didn’t know how to work out. Not really. He’d done some pushups in high school. Ran a few laps in PE. But actual structured exercise? Building a routine? That was foreign territory.
He could figure it out on his own. Watch YouTube videos. Do bodyweight stuff in his apartment.
Or.
Jordan pulled out his phone and opened his messages. The group chat with Kyle and Leo sat near the top of his recent conversations. "The Boys" with a flexed bicep emoji next to the name.
Kyle had been texting that chat for months. Inviting Jordan to the gym. Sending workout plans. Posting progress pictures that made Jordan feel bad about himself.
Jordan had ignored every single message.
The most recent text from Kyle was from three days ago. January 7th. A picture of Kyle at the university gym with some caption about leg day destroying his soul.
Leo had responded with a skull emoji and "bro I’m eating pizza rn don’t send me this."
Jordan had left it on read.
He opened the chat and started typing.
Jordan: thinking about hitting the university gym today. who’s in?
He hit send before his brain could stop him.
The message sat there in the chat. Delivered. Read receipts showed both Kyle and Leo had seen it immediately.
Three dots appeared under Kyle’s name.
Kyle: BRO
Kyle: ARE YOU SERIOUS
Kyle: DID YOU JUST ASK TO GO TO THE GYM
Kyle: WHO IS THIS
Kyle: JORDAN WHAT HAPPENED
Leo’s response came right after.
Leo: fake news 𝒇𝒓𝙚𝒆𝔀𝓮𝓫𝒏𝓸𝙫𝓮𝓵.𝓬𝙤𝙢
Leo: jordan doesn’t go outside
Leo: this is his mom isn’t it
Jordan laughed despite himself. Fair. He deserved that.
Jordan: not fake. I’m serious. you’ve been asking me to go for like six months. I’m asking now.
Kyle: what time
Kyle: I’m free all morning
Kyle: I will literally cancel plans to see this
Leo: I’m not going
Leo: gyms are scams
Leo: you’re paying money to pick up heavy things and put them down
Leo: that’s called MANUAL LABOR and people used to get PAID for that
Jordan: so that’s one yes and one coward
Leo: I’m not a coward I’m financially responsible
Leo: also I had jack in the box for breakfast
Leo: if I go to the gym right now I’m gonna throw up on someone
Kyle sent a GIF of someone doing a victory dance.
Kyle: ME AND JORDAN GYM DATE
Kyle: REDEMPTION ARC STARTS TODAY
Kyle: I’ll meet you at the rec center in 30
Kyle: bring water and a towel
Kyle: and your student ID for the scan
Jordan looked at the time. 7:34 AM. The rec center opened at six according to the Pacific Crest website. Kyle wanted to meet in thirty minutes which meant Jordan needed to leave in twenty.
Jordan: see you there
He locked his phone and grabbed his keys. His student ID sat in his wallet where it had been gathering dust since September. Jordan pulled it out and looked at the photo.
The picture had been taken during freshman orientation. August 2024. Jordan looked soft in that photo. Undefined jaw. Dull eyes. The same apologetic expression he’d worn for most of his life.
The guy in the mirror right now looked nothing like that photo.
Jordan pocketed his ID and headed for the door. His hand touched the knob and he paused.
Chloe lived next door. Unit 403. One wall separated their apartments.
Was she awake? Did she work out? Maybe she went to the university gym too.
Jordan shook his head and opened the door. The hallway was empty. No sounds came from Unit 403. The whole floor was quiet except for someone’s TV playing faintly from down the hall.
He locked his apartment and headed for the elevator.
===
[A/N:]
If you enjoyed this Chapter, please consider adding this story to your library and leaving a vote. Your support helps me keep writing, release more Chapters from my backlog, and speed up my updates.
And if you have any thoughts, suggestions, or just want to share what you think about this Chapter, feel free to drop me a message. I’d love to hear from you!
See you in the next Chapter!
☜(⌒▽⌒)☞
- Chapter 166 | The Spite Reservoir
- Chapter 165 | Athletic Poetry
- Chapter 164 | The Business of Two Girlfriends
- Chapter 163 | A Factory Reset and a Pout
- Chapter 162 | Teehee, Boyfriend
- Chapter 161 | How to Be a Boyfriend (Plural)
- Chapter 160 | The Part Where the Check Cashes [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 159 | The Opposite of a Fuckboy
- Chapter 158 | The Terms and Conditions of My Heart
- Chapter 157 | A Voice From Another Life
- Chapter 156 | The Unboxing and Assembly of My Romantic Downfall [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 155 | My Romantic Comedy Moment Was a Tech Support Ticket
- Chapter 154 | The Pre-Confrontation Tea Ceremony
- Chapter 153 | The Broken Compass Needle
- Chapter 152 | The Pragmatist’s Gambit
- Chapter 151 | My Girlfriend Plays 4D Chess, I Play Not Crashing My Hondeezy
- Chapter 150 | Lo-Fi Hip Hop and Indecent Proposals
- Chapter 149 | Carpal Tunnel is Not Cute, But This Rebate Is
- Chapter 148 | On Becoming a Human Shopping Cart
- Chapter 147 | A Wild Customer Service Employee Appears
- Chapter 146 | Welcome to Micro Center, Population: My Anxiety
- Chapter 145 | An Unscheduled Cinematic Cutscene
- Chapter 144 | From Blue-Screen-of-Death to a Feeling of Safety
- Chapter 143 | A Gas Station Confession and an Indecent Proposal
- Chapter 142 | The ROI of a Good Carpool Karaoke Session
- Chapter 141 | Starting a Business is Easy, Just Loan Your Baby Money
- Chapter 140 | Hooks [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 139 | Let’s Go Build Me an Empire [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 138 | StellarNote [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 137 | Something That Belonged Only to Her [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 136 | Tech Support
- Chapter 135 | Computer First, Therapy Later
- Chapter 134 | A Luxury We Can’t Afford [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 133 | The Queen in Repose
- Chapter 132 | Of All the Lofts in All the World...
- Chapter 131 | Professor Yamanaka’s Practical Exam
- Chapter 130 | A Wild Kumiko Appears
- Chapter 129 | A Sleepy Confession
- Chapter 128 | Schrödinger’s Lootbox
- Chapter 127 | Please Dance Responsibly [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 126 | The 72-Hour Ultimatum
- Chapter 125 | Biohazard Situation
- Chapter 124 | Don’t Move Yet
- Chapter 123 | G-Spot Overdrive
- Chapter 122 | The Calypso Protocol
- Chapter 121 | The ROI on a Little Black Dress
- Chapter 120 | My Evil Girlfriend is Trying to Kill Us
- Chapter 119 | An Under-the-Table Declaration of War
- Chapter 118 | The Meal Ticket Interrogation
- Chapter 117 | The Son You Knew is Dead
- Chapter 116 | Seventy-Five Percent and That Question
- Chapter 115 | The Adele Piece and the Alluring Whisper [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 114 | The Girl Who Doesn’t Share Well
- Chapter 113 | Past Tense and a Parent Problem
- Chapter 112 | The Blue Bikini and the Yandere’s Threat
- Chapter 111 | The Three-Body Problem (Swimsuit Edition)
- Chapter 110 | Final Electricity and the Fit of a Boyfriend
- Chapter 109 | The Tri-Color Fashion Gauntlet
- Chapter 108 | A Shopping Trip is a Four-Sided War
- Chapter 107 | Past Tense, Future Tense, and Present Tense
- Chapter 106 | My Streaming Empire Starts with an Adorable Robot [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 105 | The Girl Who Calculates Coffee and the Money Laundering Quest [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 104 | The Style War for a Simp’s Soul [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 103 | A Tsundere in Thigh-Highs [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 102 | The Girlfriend Selection Committee [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 101 | Investing in My Girlfriend [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 100 | Cute is What You Call a Puppy
- Chapter 99 | Thigh-Highs and Thermal Paste
- Chapter 98 | Left. Left. Left. Right. No, Left.
- Chapter 97 | What Do You Mean, ’Performing’?
- Chapter 96 | This Isn’t How You Set Up a Twitch Stream
- Chapter 95 | OBS Studio is a Terrible Wingman
- Chapter 94 | It Was Perfect. Wasn’t It?
- Chapter 93 | The Golden Ticket Feels a Little Tarnished
- Chapter 92 | My Fight, My Boyfriend
- Chapter 91 | How Do You Even Know That?
- Chapter 90 | You Upgraded
- Chapter 89 | You Can’t Out-Lift a Bad Diet
- Chapter 88 | Aggregate Demand and Three Competing Conversations
- Chapter 87 | My Girlfriend’s Breakfast Netted Me a $3.68 Profit
- Chapter 86 | My Boyfriend, My Brand, and The Friend Who Might Ruin Both
- Chapter 85 | We Said the Words
- Chapter 84 | I Chose Sleep Over Sex and Now We Have to Talk About Her Job
- Chapter 83 | My Girlfriend, My Friend, My Swamp Monster
- Chapter 82 | Comfort Over Style Tonight [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 81 | A Transactional Apology
- Chapter 80 | Cedar, Clean Laundry, and Him
- Chapter 79 | You Won’t Mind, Will You?
- Chapter 78 | The Wrong Answer And The Right Answer
- Chapter 77 | So, What’s Your Type?
- Chapter 76 | The Sanrio Store Option
- Chapter 75 | Guilty Feet
- Chapter 74 | Calypso Bleeds Through
- Chapter 73 | You Will Sing Or You Will Be Shamed
- Chapter 72 | You’re Gonna Scare The Hoes [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 71 | A Different Kind of Income Stream [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 70 | A Weather Forecast [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 69 | The Siren, The Headpat, and The Loaded Weapon
- Chapter 68 | Tumbleweeds, Bunnies, and Bitches
- Chapter 67 - 6-7 | We Can Be Messy Together [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 66 | About Next Saturday... [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 65 | My Mother, The Text-Nuke [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 64 | Marking Territory [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 63 | The Kissing Game Has No Rules [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 62 | The Rules of Engagement [CASTLE BONUS]
- Chapter 61 | My Lips Say Yes, My Brain Says You’re an Idiot
- Chapter 60 | Navigating the Minefield of a Single Shared Wall
- Chapter 59 | My Girlfriend (Maybe?) Just Summoned Me With a Single Word [PS BONUS]
- Chapter 58 | My Apology Got a Failing Grade
- Chapter 57 | Socializing is a Daily Quest, Family is a Raid Boss
- Chapter 56 | My Social Skills Are Still Buffering, But At Least She Laughed
- Chapter 55 | My Required Reading Includes Two New Beauties
- Chapter 54 | My Wingman’s Only Move is a Lie
- Chapter 53 | Bros Before Hoes, Unless She’s Really Hot
- Chapter 52 | My Relationship Status is Now ’In Beta Testing’
- Chapter 51 | I Ruined Everything, But At Least I Got Legendary Loot
- Chapter 50 | Twenty Million Dollars is a Very Complicated Aphrodisiac
- Chapter 49 | The Terms and Conditions of My Affection
- Chapter 48 | My Brother’s Keeper Has Questions
- Chapter 47 | My Superpower is Tonguing Down Suspicions
- Chapter 46 | Post-Sex Negotiations Involve Korean Takeout
- Chapter 45 | We’re Going to Need a Bigger Towel
- Chapter 44 | Condoms Are for Overthinkers
- Chapter 43 | My First Time Was a Critical Hit
- Chapter 42 | Take This Upstairs
- Chapter 41 | This is Some Kind of Black Magic Fuckery
- Chapter 40 | I Lied, I Wanted You Here
- Chapter 39 | The Calypso Origin Story
- Chapter 38 | I’m Scared
- Chapter 37 | The Statistical Probability of You and Me
- Chapter 36 | Counter-Programming the Fear
- Chapter 35 | Three Feet Feels Like Three Inches
- Chapter 34 | Maximum Atmosphere
- Chapter 33 | A First Date in Aisle Five
- Chapter 32 | An Invitation to Watch Netflix (And Panic)
- Chapter 31 | Not a Date, or Something
- Chapter 30 | A Full Deck of Pain
- Chapter 29 | The Prada Bag Guy
- Chapter 28 | Oh. It’s You.
- Chapter 27 | Resisting the RNG
- Chapter 26 | Amazon Princesses and Other Goals
- Chapter 25 | Proximity Alert
- Chapter 24 | Maintenance Required
- Chapter 23 | The Biohazard Upgrade
- Chapter 22 | My Life Is A Gacha Game Now
- Chapter 21 | Do Not Get Attached to the Transaction
- Chapter 20 | Ground Rules for the Girl Next Door
- Chapter 19 | Welcome to Unit 403
- Chapter 18 | My Life Is A Sitcom
- Chapter 17 | The Thud From Unit 404
- Chapter 16 | The Girl in the Rearview Mirror
- Chapter 15 | We Both Drive a Honda Civic, So It Must Be Fate
- Chapter 14 | A Three-Thousand-Dollar Beta Test
- Chapter 13 | SLOT ONE: REGISTERED
- Chapter 12 | Registering Her is a Financial and Emotional Risk
- Chapter 11 | My Bank Account Just Leveled Up
- Chapter 10 | My Name Isn’t Ricky
- Chapter 9 | The Intimidation Fee is Apparently Complimentary
- Chapter 8 | A Social Interaction Buffed by Fabuloso
- Chapter 7 | Apparently, Cleaning Counts as Cardio
- Chapter 6 | You Are What You Don’t Throw Away
- Chapter 5 | My First Boss Fight is a Pizza Box
- Chapter 4 | There Is No Tomorrow
- Chapter 3 | You Have 24 Hours to Stop Being You
- Chapter 2 | Infinite Cashback: Active
- Chapter 1 | The Price of a Pathetic Fantasy
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