Cultivating in Reverse: My Sign-In System Wants Me Dead

Su Bai returned to Clear Cloud Peak that evening with a thoroughly satisfied, capitalist smile on his face.

The executive negotiations had been a massive success. He had agreed to Peak Master Huo Yan’s request to act as a specialized consultant for the Heavenly Forge, but firmly established his boundaries. He stated that he would only clock in during his free time.

His first official sect mission had yielded a return far beyond his expectations.

Instead of the promised 10 Low-Grade Spirit Stones, Peak Master Huo had personally reached into his own executive budget and handed Su Bai a single, shimmering Mid-Grade Spirit Stone.

In the cultivation economy, one Mid-Grade stone was equal to exactly one hundred Low-Grade stones. It was enough capital to buy ten Shattered-Soul Oblivion Pills in one go.

As for the ’Distributed Load-Balancing Surge Array’ he had drafted, Peak Master Huo admitted that the sect didn’t currently have the liquid assets to buy the patent outright. Instead, he offered a standard corporate royalty. Su Bai would receive ten percent of the profits from every sword sold using his array.

Su Bai hadn’t bothered haggling for more. Ten percent of the Radiant Sky Sect’s primary manufacturing export was a staggering amount of passive income. If he bled the Heavenly Forge dry with greed, the department might go bankrupt, and zero percent of zero is zero.

Just like that, his first gig-work mission ended with a 1000% success rate.

Before heading into his hut for the night, Su Bai retrieved the "Gossiping" Quenching Trough from his system inventory and placed the heavy iron basin in the center of his courtyard. He didn’t have the energy to test it yet, so he left it for the morning.

***

The next day, Su Bai stepped out of his hut feeling incredibly refreshed. Before heading down the mountain to make a procurement run, he decided to appraise his new reward.

He approached the heavy iron trough. It was filled to the brim with a dark, shimmering liquid that seemed to swirl with hidden depths.

He recalled its description. When a metal is dipped into the water, the trough whispers a thousand overlapping voices, immediately messing up the blacksmith’s concentration and ruining their Dao intent.

’Let’s see how my hardware handles psychological warfare,’ Su Bai thought.

He grabbed the standard-issue Radiant Sky iron sword from his storage ring. He had literally never used it in combat.

Soon, he plunged the blade into the dark water.

Instantly, the shimmering liquid glowed. The basin vibrated. 𝒻𝘳ℯℯ𝑤ℯ𝒷𝘯ℴ𝓋ℯ𝘭.𝑐ℴ𝑚

Instead of a maddening, chaotic cacophony of a thousand overlapping screams driving him insane, a highly synthesized and pleasantly melodious voice echoed clearly in his mind.

It sounded exactly like an automated customer service AI.

"Item: Standard Inner Sect Iron Sword. Composition: 98% low-grade pig iron, 2% spiritual carbon. Forged six years ago by an emotionally frustrated apprentice named Li. Current condition: Pristine. Kill count: Zero. Usage history: Highly neglected. Flaws: Minor micro-fractures near the hilt due to poor hammering technique."

Su Bai was completely speechless.

He pulled the sword out of the water. The voice stopped. He stared at the blade, then stared at the basin.

’It didn’t just tell me the history... it gave me a perfectly formatted, bulleted list of its specs,’ Su Bai realized.

Eager to test its limits, he grabbed a random piece of raw iron ore he had picked up on the road and dropped it in.

"Item: Low-Grade Iron Ore," the pleasant voice returned instantly. "Origin: Excavated from the Southern Mud Pits. Quality: Extremely poor. Contains high traces of sulfur. Best used for: Forging cheap horseshoes or throwing at enemies."

Su Bai’s jaw dropped. He quickly fished the ore out and dipped his personal Clear Cloud Peak Master token into the water.

"Item: Core Disciple Identification Token. Material: Deep-Sea Yin Jade..."

Su Bai burst into a delighted laugh. He finally understood the true capability of this item. To a normal cultivator, an unfiltered infodump of a thousand voices was a mind-shattering curse. But to him?

"This isn’t a cursed trough," Su Bai beamed, patting the side of the iron basin affectionately. "This is literally just Wikipedia! The System gave me a free, offline search engine!"

Armed with the ultimate reverse-engineering appraisal tool, Su Bai was in phenomenal spirits.

Soon, he covered his head with his dark hood and made his way down the mountain, heading straight for the Liu Family Auction House in the mortal city.

***

Inside the reception room of the Auction House, the pretty clerk stood at attention. Even with the heavy hood obscuring his features, she recognized Su Bai the moment he walked through the door.

"Greetings, Senior!" she bowed deeply.

When Su Bai requested his usual order of Oblivion Pills, the clerk didn’t freeze in horror like she had the previous times. She already expected it.

The Radiant Sky Sect’s internal rumors had inevitably spilled over into the mortal city’s merchant guilds. She had seen the heavily filtered, viral painting of Su Bai absorbing the lethal, toxic impurities of the Outer Sect juniors.

She knew now that he was entirely immune to chaotic poison.

’Senior Su’s body is a vessel of pure, untainted light!’ the clerk thought.

So why was he still buying suicide pills?

The clerk’s imagination, fueled by the "Saint Su Bai" legend, immediately provided the answer.

’He isn’t trying to kill himself. He is taking the Shattered-Soul Oblivion Pills to personally experience the agonizing despair of those who wish to die! He is doing it to build empathy for the suffering of mortals! Oh, Heavens, his magnanimity knows no bounds!’

With a dreamy, awestruck expression, the clerk hurried to the back to prepare his order.

A few moments later, she returned, followed by an assistant carrying wooden lockboxes.

"As usual, Senior," the clerk said softly, placing the boxes on the table. "Here is the daily refuse of pill dregs, and your requested Oblivion Pills."

Su Bai nodded in satisfaction and opened the first box. The pile of toxic pill dregs was significantly smaller this time.

"I apologize, Senior," the clerk explained quickly, noticing his gaze. "This is all the refuse our alchemists generated today. You had already cleared out our entire month-long backlog during your last visit."

"It is fine," Su Bai replied. He couldn’t complain about free EXP. He opened the second, much more expensive box.

Inside rested his newly purchased Shattered-Soul Oblivion Pills. But as Su Bai counted them, he paused.

There were eleven pills.

He looked up at the clerk. She smiled warmly. "As a token of our gratitude for helping us dispose of the toxic dregs, the Liu Family has authorized a bonus. Please accept the extra pill as our thanks, Senior."

When Su Bai heard the word ’bonus,’ his corporate heart melted. He looked at the clerk and offered a genuine, incredibly warm smile.

That single, devastatingly gentle smile struck the pretty clerk right in the chest. Her heart fluttered violently, and she had to grip the edge of the table to keep her knees from buckling.

"Thank you," Su Bai said earnestly. "I highly value our continued business partnership."

"H-However, Senior..." the clerk stammered, trying to regain her professional composure. She looked down, then suddenly looked very guilty. "There is some bad news. Unfortunately, this was our absolute last supply of the Oblivion Pills."

Su Bai froze. "Last supply?"

"Yes," she nodded sadly. "Because they are a highly regulated, specialty item with very low demand, our headquarters only produces them in small batches. It will take at least a month for the higher-ups to authorize and manufacture a new supply chain."

Su Bai immediately deflated. His shoulders slumped.

Seeing his visible disappointment, the clerk felt a sharp pang in her heart. She felt like she had just kicked a puppy. She wanted nothing more than to run to the back and forge the pills herself just to make him smile again, but she lacked the skill.

Su Bai paid his Mid-Grade spirit stone, collected his boxes, and left the auction house with a heavy sigh.

As he walked back toward the sect, his mind raced, calculating his current bottlenecks.

Eleven pills would give him exactly one hundred and ten seconds of CPU Overclocking. With the massive amount of Qi required to bridge the gap between the 8th and 9th Stages of Qi Refining, it was simply wasn’t going to be enough.

If he had to wait an entire month for the Auction House to restock, his project timeline would be completely ruined.

’Relying on external vendors for critical infrastructure is always a logistical nightmare,’ Su Bai sighed, staring up at the distant peaks of the Radiant Sky Sect.

There was only one solution. He had to bring the manufacturing process in-house.

’I guess I really need to learn Alchemy as soon as possible.’