Cultivating in Reverse: My Sign-In System Wants Me Dead

Later that afternoon, the sun began to dip behind the towering peaks of the Radiant Sky Sect, casting long shadows over Grand Radiance City.

Su Bai navigated the bustling market streets with his black cloak pulled low over his face. He didn’t want to trigger another round of local panic. His mission was strictly business. He needed to restock his inventory.

When he stepped into the Liu Family Auction House, the lobby was much busier than the day before. He bypassed the crowds and headed directly toward the front desk, specifically seeking out the pretty clerk who had assisted him previously.

"Welcome to the Liu Family—" The clerk looked up and instantly froze.

Her professional smile cracked. Her eyes widened to the size of saucers as she stared at the impossibly pale, ethereal face beneath the dark hood.

’He’s alive?!’ her mind screamed.

She had spent the entire previous evening deeply mourning the tragic, beautiful cripple who had bought a Shattered-Soul Oblivion Pill. She was absolutely certain he had ended his life. Yet here he was, standing in front of her.

’Did the pill not work? Is he here to ask for a refund on his suicide attempt?!’ Before her imagination could spiral any further, she forcefully retained her composure. "S-Senior! It is... wonderful to see you again. How may I assist you?"

Su Bai didn’t beat around the bush. "I need more of the pill dregs. And more Shattered-Soul Oblivion Pills."

He reached into his robes and brought down a heavy pouch of spirit stones. It hit the wooden counter with a solid thud. It was his entire remaining life savings.

Now that he had empirically proven his Reversal Body’s mechanics, holding onto liquid capital was useless. He needed to invest heavily in his own R&D.

"How much can these stones buy?" Su Bai asked.

The clerk’s brain short-circuited.

’He wants MORE?!’ She stared at the bag of stones, utterly bewildered. ’Does his crippled body possess such a strong will to live that even an Oblivion Pill couldn’t put him down?’ Then, her eyes softened with profound, romantic pity. ’I knew it. Even the Heavens couldn’t bear to kill a man this handsome.’

She took a deep breath, then forced herself to remain a professional employee of the Auction House. "Senior... actually, the pill dregs have no price at all. They are toxic waste. By taking them away, you are practically doing us a massive favor by saving us disposal fees. As for your stones... the amount you brought yesterday was enough for one Oblivion Pill. This pouch is enough for exactly ten." 𝗳𝗿𝐞𝕖𝘄𝗲𝕓𝗻𝚘𝚟𝕖𝐥.𝚌𝕠𝕞

"Ten," Su Bai murmured, pursing his lips.

He was absolutely thrilled that he had just secured a zero-cost supplier for his raw materials, but the Oblivion Pills were the real bottleneck. Each pill only provided "Ten Seconds of Nirvana." Ten pills meant he only had one hundred seconds of premium, overclocked cultivation time.

’My burn rate for capital is too high,’ Su Bai sighed internally. ’What if I start charging the junior disciples for my Office Hours? A small tutoring fee wouldn’t hurt, right?’

But his ingrained, corporate-slave mentality immediately squashed the idea.

’No, absolutely not,’ he quickly reprimanded himself. ’I am currently a useless employee to this Sect. The only reason HR hasn’t fired me is because I can teach the juniors. If I start charging the sect’s own disciples for something I should be doing as a team player, upper management might finally lay me off. I have to prove my value to the company first before I ask for a raise.’

A few minutes later, the clerk returned. Two attendants followed behind her, carrying three wooden boxes overflowing with foul-smelling pill dregs.

Su Bai’s eyes lit up like a kid in a candy store.

Deciding to be completely shameless in the pursuit of efficiency, Su Bai leaned in slightly. "Miss, if your establishment truly has no use for these... would it be alright if I became your permanent waste disposal? I can come by regularly to clear out your pill dregs."

To Su Bai, he was establishing a brilliant corporate supply chain.

To the clerk, it meant something entirely different. ’He was going to come back. Regularly.’

"Absolutely, Senior!" she beamed. Her heart fluttered with glee. Any lingering fears about his suicidal tendencies vanished. She didn’t know what bizarre Daoist array he was using the toxic pills for, and she knew better than to ask.

Hearing her eager confirmation, Su Bai let out a genuine, unrestrained smile.

The clerk completely froze.

The melancholic, tragic aura that usually surrounded him seemed to instantly wash away. His pale face lit up, transforming him from a sick scholar into a breathtaking, descending immortal.

The clerk swallowed hard. Her face flushed crimson as Su Bai neatly swept the wooden boxes and the ten black pills into his storage ring.

"Thank you," Su Bai said warmly. "You have been incredibly helpful."

Leaving the highly flustered and deeply bowing clerk behind, Su Bai exited the Auction House and headed back to the mountains.

He was in a fantastic mood. He had just secured a permanent, infinite supply of EXP.

By the time he returned to Clear Cloud Peak, the sun had set. He walked past his front yard and sat cross-legged on his favorite flat stone.

’Time to grind,’ Su Bai thought. ’Let’s get that company car back.’

He popped the first Shattered-Soul Oblivion Pill into his mouth.

The "Ten Seconds of Nirvana" hit him like a freight train. The terrifying, chest-pounding "Emergency Audit" motivation surged through his veins. His lazy ’Dead Wood’ root spun up to maximum velocity.

Without missing a beat, Su Bai began shoveling handfuls of the toxic, heavy-metal pill dregs into his mouth.

To his Reversal Body, it was a magnificent feast. The raw, chaotic Qi was instantly processed by his hyper-motivated spirit root. His meridians expanded rapidly, soaking up the pure energy. And the taste... it was a non-stop barrage of warm, perfectly baked chocolate chip cookies.

Ten seconds had never felt so productive, nor so delicious.

As soon as the first pill’s effect wore off, Su Bai didn’t hesitate. He popped a second Oblivion Pill. Then a third. A fourth. A fifth.

He fell into a blissful, highly-caffeinated rhythm. The Wraith-Slumber Manacle on his wrist kept his mind terrifyingly sharp, preventing any mental fatigue, while the suicide pills forced his body to digest the toxic waste at impossible speeds.

’I swear to the Heavens,’ Su Bai nearly cried tears of joy as he chewed through another handful of toxic garbage. ’I am never eating moldy bread again. Never. It is humiliating that I lived like a medieval peasant for six years when I could have just been eating corporate waste!’

Fifty seconds later, the effects of the fifth Oblivion Pill faded.

Su Bai gasped. His chest heaved as the intense motivation left his system. He reached for another handful of dregs, only to find his hand grasping empty air.

He blinked, looking down. The three wooden boxes were completely empty. He had eaten a month’s worth of the Liu Family’s toxic waste in less than a minute.

He checked his internal spiritual sea.

7th Stage of Qi Refining.

His Dantian was swirling with incredibly dense, powerful gas. He could feel the threshold of the 8th Stage right at his fingertips, but his supply chain had run dry.

He still had five Oblivion Pills left in his ring, but without the "raw data" of the pill dregs to process, taking a RAM upgrade was useless. Furthermore, he was still two minor realms away from being able to safely consume the Execution Pill for his Foundation Establishment promotion.

Su Bai let out a long, satisfied sigh into the cool mountain air.

"Not bad for a single afternoon’s work," he muttered.