I ACCIDENTALLY MARRIED A DUNGEON

Ginger stood at the threshold, shoulders drawn in, gaze moving between the card on the floor and the empty hallway beyond it.

Four of hearts. Just sitting there.

He took a step backward.

"How long are they going to take?"

His eyes went to the bag. Then to the window. The drop wasn’t far. Maybe four feet of wall and then the alley below.

Could just take it and go. Be gone before anyone comes back.

He walked to the bag and picked it up. The weight of it settled into his hand and something like a smile started forming.

Thud

He stopped breathing.

He could feel it with everything in his body, the way you feel a change in temperature before you understand what caused it. Someone was standing directly behind him. His legs wouldn’t move. His body had already made the calculation and decided running wasn’t an option before his mind caught up.

He started to turn.

Something hit his nape with precise, quiet force. His vision folded and he went down.

Felix caught him and the bag in the same motion and lowered him to the floor without a sound. He pulled the cloth down from his face and exhaled.

"Wasn’t that hard."

He rolled his shoulders once, picked up the bag, and turned toward the door.

A fist-sized sphere of water came at him fast from down the hallway.

Felix dropped low. The bubble passed over him and detonated against the wall behind, the impact catching him anyway, throwing him forward onto his knees. He stayed there for a second, one hand on the floor.

"That hurt."

He stood and turned. A man in loose clothes was walking toward him from the far end of the hallway, golden hair, unhurried pace. Another water sphere was already forming at his open palm. He exhaled and sent it.

Felix’s hand went into his pocket and came back with a card in one motion. He threw it into the bubble. The card split it on contact, water scattering across the walls, the card spinning away.

Hakimi stopped walking.

"Felix," he said.

Felix frowned slightly. "That’s me. But who told you my—" He looked at the man for a moment. "Do I know you?"

"Your wife told me. She’s waiting outside."

"Dune." Felix processed this. "Wait. I told her to watch for anyone passing by."

"She did exactly that," Hakimi said with a faint chuckle. "Stood at her post and watched the building the whole time. You just weren’t specific enough about what she was supposed to do when someone stopped to talk to her."

Felix stared at the ceiling briefly.

"She’s earnest," Hakimi said. "More than you deserve, maybe." He took a few slow steps forward. "You shouldn’t have brought her into something like this. And if you did, you should have been clearer with her."

"She’s not—" Felix started.

"I respect women." Hakimi’s voice stayed even. "But I don’t have much patience for men who don’t. You seem like you might be one of them."

"I don’t treat her badly," Felix said. "I’m letting her live in my house. That’s more credit than you’re giving me."

"That’s exactly the answer I expected from you."

The Numen pressure in the hallway shifted. Felix felt it before he saw anything change in Hakimi’s expression.

"Hey. There’s a misunderstanding here."

"I’ve heard enough." Hakimi’s hand went to his sword hilt and pulled. It didn’t move. He pulled harder, the hilt rattling in the scabbard. "Come out, you stupid—"

"How about you let me explain first?"

The calm in Felix’s voice seemed to make it worse. Hakimi let go of the hilt entirely and the water snake formed along his forearm instead, coiling upward, raising its head, and launched itself forward.

Felix threw himself against the wall. The snake hit the floor where he’d been standing and dissolved into a wet streak across the boards.

"It was a mistake," Felix said from the wall. "A genuine mistake. She appeared out of nowhere. I didn’t plan any of it."

"A marriage is never a mistake."

"This one was. But—alright, yes, it was my fault. My actions caused it. I’m taking full responsibility, that’s why she’s with me."

"I saw how you take responsibility." Hakimi’s eyes moved to his own neck, then back to Felix. "The marks on her. All the way up to her face."

"Those were already there. I didn’t do that."

"Lies and excuses."

The water spheres came fast. Felix dodged the first two and caught the next pair square in the chest, dropping to his knees. He stayed there a moment, breathing through the impact.

I can’t beat him... he’s way above my league. Better to say the truth.

He raised his head. Hakimi was walking toward him with a large sphere building in his open palm, the surface of it churning.

"Stop. Stop." Felix held up one hand. "Let me tell you the truth. She’s actually a dungeon."

Hakimi stopped walking.

The frown didn’t leave his face. It deepened. "Do you think I’m five years old?"

"I’m serious. This morning, I went into the wrong chamber looking for ore and I completed some kind of ancient marriage ritual. She has been with me since that moment. That’s the entire truth."

"Tell it to your ancestors." The sphere expanded.

"Ask her yourself." Felix cried out. "Go outside and ask her directly."

Hakimi held the sphere where it was.

He thought about the girl standing outside. The way she’d answered every question without hesitation or calculation. The way she’d said Felix is husband of mine like she was stating something as settled as the sky being above them.

"You have her mind under control," Hakimi said, though he sounded less certain this time. "She can’t say what she actually feels."

"I don’t know any spells like that. You can check her Numen flow yourself. You can tell if someone is being controlled and you can tell if someone is lying." Felix met his eyes. "Check her. Then decide."

The sphere held its shape for a long moment.

Then it shrank and disappeared.

"Get up." Hakimi turned toward the stairs. "And don’t think about running."

Felix stood up quietly and followed him. Just don’t say any absurd things, Dune. My life depends on you.