I ACCIDENTALLY MARRIED A DUNGEON

Felix cut around the table before the cat had even cleared the far end of the stall. He dropped low, shot his hand under the counter, and the cat leapt back a half step, already running past his fingers.

Felix scrambled upright. "Get back here, you thieving little prick." He knocked over a stack of crates on his way past, sending fruit rolling loose across the dirt.

"Hey, what the hell are you doing?" The stall owner shouted after him.

"I’ll pay for the fruit!" Felix called back, not slowing down.

Dune came right behind him, cutting through the crowd with far less resistance than he was getting.

"Deserved that." Hakimi watched them vanish into the market.

"Hakimi!" Diana grabbed his arm hard, eyes cutting toward the far end of the street. Four guards in city colors had already turned toward the noise, moving their way. "Guards. We have to go."

He followed her gaze and nodded. "Time to head back."

"But I don’t want to." Diana’s grip tightened. "I haven’t even seen the circus yet."

"There’ll be other chances."

"No. I want to see it today." She pulled free of his hand and darted forward, chasing after Felix’s path. "You can go back if you want."

"Wait, what—" Hakimi froze for half a second, then glanced back toward the guards, one of whom he recognized immediately. "Why does she—"

He gave chase, weaving through the crowd carefully, careful not to knock into anyone in his path. He caught sight of her hand slipping out of view and lunged forward, catching it. "Lady Diana, this was—"

The girl spun around and screamed, "Pervert!"

"Wait, I’m not—" He let go instantly, scanning the crowd around him, a headache already building behind his eyes. *Where did she go?*

"Shut up. Carrying a sword and doing something like that, have you no shame?" The stranger stepped toward him, several heads nearby already turning to look.

"My deepest apologies, my lady. That was a mistake." Hakimi kept his voice level. "I mistook you for someone else."

"Whatever, pervert." She scoffed and walked off.

Hakimi chose silence over further explanation, scanning the crowd again, until his eyes landed on a building rising up just ahead. "I might get a better look from up there."

Far ahead, the cat darted low beneath a wagon carrying pots, the coin pouch still clamped in its mouth. Felix jumped over the wagon, nearly knocking one of the pots to the ground.

"Sorry, sorry." He called out, not waiting to see if the owner had even heard him.

Dune cut past the wagon from the front. The horse jolted in fright, and the pots at the back rattled loose, several of them dropping and shattering across the dirt.

"Sorry, sorry."

Dune matched his pace with no visible effort, weaving through gaps in the crowd that Felix had to shove himself through. "It’s turning right."

"I see it, I see it." Felix cut the corner hard, boots skidding, and the cat shot down a narrow lane between two tent stalls, red string bouncing behind it.

The lane opened into a wider stretch of the market, more crowded than before, and the cat cleared a low table of folded fabric in one leap, scattering half of it onto the ground. The stall owner shouted something after it neither of them stayed around to hear.

"Ten golds!" Felix shouted, mostly to himself at this point. "That was ten golds I actually earned fair and square, you furry little bastard!"

"I don’t think it can understand you," Dune said, keeping pace.

"I don’t care if it can’t understand me!"

The cat cut sharply right, slipping between the legs of two passing merchants, and Felix nearly took both of them out trying to follow. He staggered, caught himself, and kept running, Dune already a few strides ahead now, closing the gap on the cat with every step.

It cut across an open stretch of street, and that’s when a second group crashed into the chase from the opposite direction, three men in matching gray coats, one of them already shouting.

"There it is. Move!"

Felix skidded to a stop just short of running headlong into the lead man, and the two of them locked eyes for half a second before the cat shot straight between them, breaking the standoff before it could even start.

"Out of my way!" Felix shoved past, and the man’s hand caught his shoulder hard enough to spin him around.

"You first, kid."

"Don’t touch me." Felix’s hand moved on instinct, flicking a card up between two fingers, catching the man across the cheek with a thin, stinging cut before he’d even finished the sentence.

"You little—" The man swung, and Felix ducked under it, driving an elbow into his ribs on the way past.

Dune didn’t slow at all. She plowed straight through the second man’s attempt to grab her, sending him stumbling backward into a fruit stall, and kept running after the cat without breaking stride.

It leapt from one man’s shoulder to another’s, crossed the street, and dropped to the ground on the far side, already scrambling up the face of a nearby building.

"Wait, wait." Felix cut across the street after it, craning his neck to track the cat’s climb. "Dune, take the straight path. There’s an open area up ahead, I’ll chase it across the rooftops and drive it that way."

"Understood." Dune peeled off without hesitation, already sprinting for the square.

Felix started climbing after it, boots scraping against loose brick, fingers finding shallow gaps, windows where people shouted from inside as he passed. The cat scaled the wall like gravity meant nothing to it, red string flicking behind with every leap upward.

"You’ve gotta be kidding me." He hauled himself up another foot, arms already burning. "A cat. I’m getting outclimbed by a cat."

He reached the ledge of a low rooftop and rolled himself over it, coughing dust, and spotted the cat perched a few feet away, watching him with something disturbingly close to amusement.

"Oh, you think this is funny." He pushed himself upright. "Give me my gold back and I promise I won’t turn you into a coin purse myself."

The cat blinked once, turned, and bolted toward the next rooftop over. A card landed square in its path before it could take another step. It froze.

"Fun’s over, kitty cat." Felix flicked his wrist, and two more cards appeared between his fingers.

Down below, Dune slowed as she reached the mouth of an alley, eyes still tracking the rooftops overhead.

"Dungeon girl."

She glanced right and found Diana beside her, breathing hard, sweat beaded across her forehead. "Hakimi’s handler. Diana."

"I’m not his handler." Diana caught her breath first. "Just Diana."

Dune nodded once and turned back toward the alley.

"Hold on." Diana hurried in front of her. "Where are you even going? And where’s that other jerk?"

"Straight to the open area ahead. Felix said he would drive the cat there."

"Then let’s go." Diana fell into step beside her.

"Why are you coming with me?" Dune asked.

"Why?" Diana gave an awkward smile. "To catch the cat, obviously. I’m helping."

"Thank you for helping, Diana."