How I Accidentally Built a Kingdom

"Honestly, how do you deal with this cold?" I asked Erick as we sat down at one of the tables in the barracks.

"It’s not that bad," Erick answered, accepting the bowl of breakfast Sylph handed him.

"Not that bad?" I said, getting a bowl of my own. "I feel like my balls are freezing away as we sit here."

"You’re such an old man." Erick laughed.

The man who was at least twice my age had called me an old man, can you believe that?

"If I’m old, you’re ancient." I smiled at him.

"Screw you, I’m not that much older than you!" Erick said, pointing at me with his spoon, his face turning a strange shade of red.

"If you say so, grandpa." I laughed.

"I swear to everything holy, if you weren’t the man who paid my salary, I would stab you with this spoon right now." Erick answered, the wooden spoon creaking in his grip.

"Yeah right, we both know you would be too afraid of the consequences." I said, thinking about what my wives would do to anyone that tried to kill me.

"Yeah..." Erick said, drifting off into thought, I could see small shivers running through his hands. "Maybe that would be a bad idea."

"Speaking of my lovely wives," I said. "How are you going to help me convince them that they should stay here?"

"You said you had an idea!?" Erick exclaimed, almost dropping the bowl of hot food in his own lap.

"Negotiation 101, Erick," I said, lifting my spoon into the air as I lectured him. "Tell them anything to get them at the table."

"Have I told you recently that you’re an absolute asshole?" Erick asked.

"Of course you have, but I know you love me." I answered.

At that point this kind of banter between us had basically become a daily event. We had spent two months suffering under the training of Cat and Julia together after all, we had basically become best friends.

"You know I’m not interested in men, right?" Erick asked with a smile.

"My charm is so strong it wouldn’t surprise me if you suddenly changed that view," I smiled back. "But before you do you should know that I love you like a brother, I don’t want to break your heart."

"Screw you," Erick sighed, surrendering immediately. "So why do you need to go on a trip without Julia and Catharina?"

"I need to pay a visit to a certain duke who dared to threaten the life of one of my wives," I answered, my smile immediately replaced by a serious expression.

"Who would be stupid enough to make an enemy out of either of them?" Erick asked, wide eyed.

"A man named Duke Charles," I answered, gripping my spoon so hard it threatened to shatter. "One of his men tried to kill her the day we met."

"Duke Charles?" Erick said, his brows drawn together. "He is a snake, even amongst the other nobles of Tusra."

Now for those of you who are a bit oblivious like I had been, Tusra Kingdom is the same kingdom in which Stellor City is located.

"But how do you know that his man didn’t just go rogue?" Erick asked.

"That’s what I’m going to go and find out," I answered.

After all, he didn’t need to know that when it came to my wives, the sins of the son definitely meant punishment for the father, just to a lighter degree than for the son himself.

But if I found out that Sir Ronald was working under his orders at that time... well let’s just say that the father would be punished quite severely.

"And I think the only way I’m going to convince them to let me go is if you go with me," I said.

"You want to tell them that you’re going to take me with you?" Erick asked. "And then at the same time tell them that they have to stay behind?"

I simply nodded at both of those questions.

"You might as well start planning my funeral now." Erick sighed.

"Oh come on," I said. "They’re not that bad."

Erick simply looked at me with a deadpan expression.

Okay, he might’ve had a point, they were that bad sometimes, but that’s why we were there to discuss our options after all.

"Okay, so maybe they might be that bad," I admitted. "But they like you, so they wouldn’t kill you."

"No they wouldn’t." Erick said. "But they would definitely make me wish I was dead."

Once again I had to admit it, the man had a point.

"So how do you suggest we convince them?" I asked.

"Catharina should be easy, she’s busy with her store at the moment, and we could always tell her that the guards needed some more training," Erick said. "She does love training people after all."

I had thought of exactly the same thing, even though that would mean we were essentially throwing the other four men under the bus, I’d just have to give them some bonuses or something.

"I thought of that too," I answered. "And it would work, but Julia is the problem, I can’t think of anything that would make her stay behind."

Erick and I sat in silence for a while, pondering different options we could potentially use, while we ate our breakfast.

I had to give it to Sylph, she was an excellent cook, she could work wonders with the most basic of ingredients.

Finally it hit me.

"What if we convinced Darvel to tell her that he needed her to work in the bar?" I asked.

Erick looked at me with clear skepticism.

"Hear me out," I said, raising my hands. "We could have him tell her that our income plummeted the last time we were away, and that no one wanted to drink at the bar if we weren’t serving them."

"Is that true at all?" Erick asked.

"Well..."

"Kind off."

"If she finds out that he lied to her, do you think she would kill Darvel?" Erick asked.

"Maybe."

"Do you think she’d believe it?" Erick asked.

"Probably, I can be pretty convincing, you know," I answered.

"You can," Erick nodded. "But you’re also a terrible liar."

"I am not!"

How dare he claim that I would have such a flaw, a good businessman had to be able to bluff people after all, and I am an excellent businessman.

"Yes you are," Erick said. "But I guess I don’t really have a choice but to go along with you on this one."

"At least we won’t be here when they decide to go on a rampage," he said.

"By the way, where are we going to tell them we’re going?" Erick asked.

"That’s simple," I answered with a smile. "We have some funds to go and collect after all."

That had been the easiest part, it had been the second month of my contract with the Forest Flute, and I hadn’t collected one fee from them yet.

Which also gave us the perfect excuse for me to take Erick with me, he would want to see his men after all.