How I Accidentally Built a Kingdom

Sorry about that guys I just had to go and sort out some... issues.

Now... where were we?

Sorry?

Oh right yes... thanks honey.

So I was looking up at this beautiful woman...

***

I sat there on the cold and shiny armor of a knight that was starting to turn just as cold as that armor.

Looking up at... well I already told you about her didn’t I? She was pretty, and kind of commandingly looking down at me.

Fine I’ll give you a proper description, just because I know all of you actually want that, I mean it’s not at all that she’s standing next to me glaring... no that’s not it at all.

Okay maybe just a bit.

Her long golden hair was draped over her shoulders, piercing blue eyes staring down at me with something like extreme gratefulness... I mean of course I had just heroically saved her life.

I mean my manly fall had just killed her would-be murderer. My charm and charisma obviously blinded her immediately.

She was wearing armor that—If I’m completely honest, made her look hella sexy.— it shone in the midday sun, obviously I completely ignored all of the blood stains that covered it.

I’m a man after all, what’s a little blood to me?

And those legs... damn those legs could make me...

***

Hey! Honey what are you doing?

Ouch!

Hey you can’t just take...

***

Right, I think it’s time for me to take over here, this guy has a way to embellish and twist everything around.

So... my name is Julia, and I’m the superior and most adored wife of Daniel... the idiot, and yet perfect man, who still hasn’t introduced himself to you guys.

Seeing as this is the part where I entered the story, I’ve decided it’s time for me to tell you what actually happened.

No, I wasn’t looking at him with any kind of admiration, or "gratefulness" as he so eloquently put it, I was looking at the screaming lunatic who had just appeared out of nowhere flattening Sir Ronald into his own sword.

Sure I was grateful that he saved my life.

Was he as manly and heroic as he claimed?

In his own way, yes maybe he was a bit heroic... completely unintentionally obviously, but heroic nonetheless.

Was he manly?

Well if you can call a person who immediately retched when he saw the sword sticking out of Sir Ronald’s back manly, or how pale he became when he saw me covered in blood.

Then yes sure he was manly.

But if I have to admit it he sure as hell was kind of cute at that moment.

Anyway let’s continue the story, but this time it will be me telling it.

Yes dear, I’m going to tell it from now on.

***

So I was looking down at this man who I seriously thought was either a complete moron, or just a screaming lunatic.

His hair was disheveled, his striking green eyes were opened about as wide as they could go.

Okay, maybe my sword being aimed in his general direction might have had some effect on that though.

"Who the hell are you?" I asked, I mean come on the guy had just fallen from the sky, I was looking around, and into the trees trying to figure out if I had walked into an ambush, but I couldn’t see anything.

"Who am I?! Who are you?! Why do you have a sword?! And where the hell am I?!" The man was completely irrational, if you ask me.

But for some reason, I found his reactions... cute? I mean come on, the guy was crawling around on his hands and knees retching every time he came into contact with any blood.

Some women would probably think this would be a turn off, or that he was weak, but you just had to see it to understand why I thought the way I thought I guess.

I finally decided that maybe he wasn’t a threat... okay I never thought he was a threat to begin with, I mean seriously you should have seen the way he was reacting to everything.

Sigh.

"Hey! Just relax okay! Calm down and tell me where you came from." I said, trying to just get him to stop scrambling around.

Finally after what felt like an eternity of trying to calm him down, I succeeded. He was leaning against a tree looking at me with those beautiful green eyes when he could finally speak again.

"My name is Daniel, I have no idea how I got here, or even where I am. The last thing I remember was walking home from the bar and then..." He drifted off, I could see his mind wandering, trying to figure out what had happened to him.

"Bar?" I asked, I mean, I had never heard of such a thing in my life.

"Yeah the bar, you know... the watering hole... a booze dispensary... the place a man goes to get drunk?" I don’t know why he gave it so many different names, I mean that wouldn’t explain it any better to me.

I could only lift my shoulders and look at him blankly.

"No, no, no," for some reason after seeing my reaction he started getting upset again, it seemed this... watering hole was important to him because he started mumbling about how he would never see one again.

How his life would now forever be empty.

I don’t know when it started, if it was because he had accidentally saved my life, or just the way he looked at that moment, but I just couldn’t bear it.

It felt like I would do anything to keep him happy.

"Just calm down, we’ll figure it out." I said, he looked up at me again, finishing up his rambling incoherent mumblings.

"Where am I?"

"You’re in the forest known as Booksfield, on the edge of the human territory." I answered completely honestly, figuring he might just be lost. But the way his eyes just kept widening with each word told me that maybe there could be more to the story.

"Okay... so I’m definitely in another world." He whispered.

These whispered words shocked me to the core. I mean sure he seemed foreign, but I just thought he was a bit... eccentric.

But an otherworlder?

I’ve heard of them before, but this was the first time I actually saw one.

In the legends it was said that given time they could become extremely powerful. Their fates becoming so strong that they could create, or destroy entire kingdoms.

And this man... the man that was completely losing his mind over something called a... bar.

Was one of these otherworlders?

***

Come on dear, you know it was all true, you almost lost your mind when you found out I didn’t know what a bar was.

I’m not making you look bad!

You know I love you, so of course I don’t think you’re weak.

So what if they think so, if they dare to act on such foolish thoughts, or slander you we can simply destroy them.

What do you mean we can’t do that?

Of course we can, it’s not like any of these weaklings can stand against us.

Anyway... unfortunately that’s all we have time for in this session, I’ll tell you more about how we made our way out of the forest next time.

Of course I’m going to keep telling the story for a while. You can’t be trusted to not wander off into another one of your melodramatic tangents again.

We might love those, but I don’t think they would.

Right so we have some people to go and subjugate for daring to slander our husband, but we’ll pick this up again later.