How I Accidentally Built a Kingdom

Maybe I should have knocked.

So maybe the scene I had to witness could have been prevented.

But my mind was occupied with so many ideas, and I was so excited to get under way that I... forgot.

Now if Darvel had simply been sitting behind his desk with a mountain of coins on it like he actually did, and I did sometimes in our room.

That would have been fine.

But the real problem was that he wasn’t just sitting behind a mountain of coins.

Instead he was sitting with his legs spread wide, his pants around his knees, and a beautiful elf girl kneeling between them.

That was the main problem.

Which is also why I froze for only a second, before turning around, and bundling Julia out of the room like we were two naughty schoolchildren that just got caught doing something they shouldn’t have.

I could hear the shuffling, and cursing of Darvel trying to gather himself, and the elf girl.

And within moments, the girl came from his office, her face red as blood.

"Mr Darvel is ready for you now." She whispered as she rushed past us back to the kitchen.

Now most of the men around here know that if you ever catch another man in the middle of something... indecent, the law says you must act as if nothing happened.

Which is exactly what I was going to do.

But it seems that until that day Julia didn’t know about the existence of this law.

"What the hell Darvel? Can’t you lock a door?" Julia fumed.

I tried to signal to her with my eyes that she should just shut up about it, but once again it seemed that the subtle art of eye communication was not something she had ever learned.

"I... I... I’m sorry." Darvel stuttered.

Each moment Julia spent staring the poor man down, the redder his face became, I could swear I saw steam start to pour out from those long, now very red, ears of his.

"Ahem, anyway Darvel, I came to tell you that we would need to find a substitute for me at the bar for the next few days." I quickly changed the subject.

Darvel’s lowered gaze snapped up to me, clearly shocked.

The man probably knew how many customers we were going to lose if my charm wasn’t behind the bar.

"Why?" He exclaimed.

"I’m going to go on a small journey for a few days."

"There are a few new business opportunities that I want to go and check out."

"More business opportunities?" Darvel asked. "Don’t you already have enough businesses going?"

A smile tugged at the corner of my lips when I heard these words, they were words that so many people on Earth used to use.

Why would people always strive for more when they could already make a decent living from what they had?

"Because a man who wants to retire early, must never have all of his eggs in one basket." I answered.

That was honestly what I felt, I’m not some money hungry person, I just wanted to make a ton of money so I could retire early, and relax for the rest of my life.

"Retire?" Darvel asked, confusion marring his face.

"Yes, retire. You know to stop working, to live peacefully off what you have made." I answered.

"I know what retirement is Daniel, but you’re not even thirty years old, why would you be thinking of retirement now?"

That was exactly the kind of mindset that meant people could never truly enjoy their lives.

"Because the sooner I can retire, the sooner I can travel the world and enjoy life with my wife. I’m only going to live so long you know." I answered.

"Anyway, you need to find someone to replace me at the bar from tomorrow on." I said, already over trying to explain the concept of early retirement to a middle aged elf.

I had already realized that trying to get that through the mind of a man who could probably live for another two-hundred years was going to be a tall order, even for me.

I had already started to leave the room after I said my piece, but I could have sworn I heard Julia whisper something to Darvel, and when I turned around to see if she was following, I found the previous red face replaced by a very pale one.

It had probably been nothing.

What would my sweet wife have to threaten Darvel about?

The man had been as harmless as a fly ever since we got into business together.

"What did you whisper to him?" I asked her as we walked back to the bar for what would be my last shift for a while. 𝐟𝚛𝕖𝚎𝕨𝗲𝐛𝚗𝐨𝐯𝐞𝕝.𝐜𝗼𝗺

"Nothing much." That was all the answer I got, and for some reason she was avoiding eye contact with me like my eyes had some sort of plague.

I was about to push her a bit more to see if she would tell me, when we reached the bar, and our regulars started to swarm us for drinks.

I decided in that moment that I should probably just let it go, I mean how bad could it be?

It’s not like she would have threatened to kill him if anything happened to the bar, or my money.

My Julia was far too sweet to do something like that.

Sure, she could be a bit much sometimes, but she would never threaten a person’s life.

At least that was what I had thought back then.

Since then my opinions might have changed slightly.

And yes, I did decide to let it go because of all that.

Not at all did I want to press her for more info later, and simply forgot.

I don’t forget anything.

This brain is like a steel trap.

The rest of the night went off without a hitch.

I chased John out when I saw it was getting late, the man had to run my business, I couldn’t have him be late and hungover the next day.

We worked at the bar until midnight.

I had a couple of drinks with some of the friends I had made.

And finally Julia walked arm in arm with me up to our room.

I’m sure that, as always, we looked like a charming couple.

"Are you sure we should leave tomorrow?" She asked when we got into our room.

"Definitely," I slurr... I mean I said.

"Then there are probably some things you shoul—" She had started to say something, but I was really tired at that point, so the only thing that came next was the tender darkness of sleep.

And the crack of wood when I hit the floor.