How I Accidentally Built a Kingdom

Now obviously this seemed pretty suspicious to me at the time.

Because unlike now, I had no idea that Julia had scared the hell out of the poor man.

I only thought that there might have been something seriously wrong with that man’s head.

Well it could have been either that, or he had finally noticed just how much money he was losing every day.

It might not have been physically losing money, as some of you might be thinking.

But opportunity costs could be a real bitch if you let her grow unmanaged.

Even though I still had absolutely no desire to go into business with Darvel.

I couldn’t deny that the fact that he was practically begging me at that moment, could work in my favor.

"I don’t mind telling you a bit more, but you should know I won’t just give you my ideas without compensation." I answered.

For some reason I could see pure relief on the man’s face when he heard that. Of course I would have been relieved too if a genius like me told me that I could improve my business.

Wait...ah hell you get what I’m trying to say.

And if you don’t, all you have to understand is that I’m a genius, and it wasn’t strange at all that he was relieved to receive the blessings of my advice.

Naturally Julia understood this, which is why she had threatened him.

"I understand, I’ll agree to any terms you list." Darvel said, nodding his head like a pecking hen.

"Anything, you say..." I said as I sat back down on my chair, I suddenly felt like some sort of mob boss, I mean there I was sitting on a chair while a man was kneeling before me groveling for my support.

It was fantastic!

Originally I had only asked for a twenty percent share of the profits he made using my ideas, but I thought that maybe he needed to be punished for his previous misconduct a bit.

"Well I think that there might be a possibility for us to find some common ground." I said, rubbing my chin like a man in deep thought.

"You see, previously I suggested that you only give me a twenty percent profit share, but I think we can probably triple that... right?"

I could literally see the dagger of lost money pierce through the man’s heart at that moment.

"S... sure we can do that." He answered, not before glancing at Julia one more time.

I couldn’t really understand why he kept glancing at Julia in between answers, at that moment I only hoped that he wasn’t trying to make any moves with this deal of his.

It would have been... unfortunate, if I had to murder my new business partner.

Naturally I would give the partnership a few months, maybe that way I could simply take over the entire business if I killed him.

Hehehe, just kidding I wouldn’t really kill a man just for trying to make a move on one of my girls... or would I?

Who knows?

I’d keep that in mind if I were one of you.

After all, I’ve seen the glances some of you throw their way.

I had to say though, I was pretty surprised that he actually agreed.

I had just thrown out triple my previous number on a whim, kind of expecting him to try and negotiate a way down.

I was prepared to go down to twenty percent after all, I mean he should have known that, that’s literally what I offered him in our meeting.

Oh well, I guess sixty percent isn’t that bad.

I just chalked it up to my superior negotiating skills.

"Excellent! You can take a seat again." I said, gesturing toward the seat across from us again.

"I think before we get into the big plans I had, we should do something about all of the money you’re losing while your customers wait for tables." I started.

To my surprise Darvel actually took out a pen and notebook, and started scribbling furiously.

"Your waiting room was a good move, the comfort of your patrons should always be prioritized in hospitality, but in pure opportunity costs you’re losing A LOT of money." I said.

And luckily for me, it was at this very point that I realised the near mistake I had almost made.

"But before I tell you about my ideas for that, I expect you to draw up a contract with my terms." I said as I got up from my chair again. "It’s not that I don’t trust you, but... I don’t trust you."

***

And that my dear listeners is how I completely dominated Darvel with my negotiation skills.

Now you might think that Julia had a big hand in the good deal I made, and you might not be entirely wrong, but I believe that it wasn’t as big as my amazing negotiation.

I mean the man was practically begging to hear my ideas.

No he wasn’t practically begging, he was begging.

Yes honey, I know you threatened him a bit, but that can’t take away my shine, now can it?

And before you think that I was stupid not to ask for a contract from the start, I just want to tell you that that was completely part of the strategy.

I’m not lying!

I know I said that I forgot, but I simply misspoke.

You’re the one that keeps telling them not to believe everything I say, now that I’m telling them to do the same for one thing you’re disagreeing again.

I’m sorry guys, sometimes it’s really hard to satisfy these wives of mine.

Women you know...

Wait! I just realised how what I said sounded, and it’s definitely not hard to satisfy them in that way.

In that regard I’m like a pro.

I’m the best of the best.

Superior in every way.

They tell me that constantly.

Right? Tell them.

What do you mean you’re not going to tell them because I was just sexist?!.

I’ve never been sexist in my life.

Maybe sexy, but never sexist.

Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!

Okay! Okay! I’m sorry! I won’t do it again I promise!

I love you all too much to ever think anything disrespectful about you, you know that.

Anyway, in the next session we’re finally going to get to the actual planning part of the story.

I know it took me a while, but you can’t complain about the results, right?