Raising the Villain in Wrong Way

"That’s not some mere brotherly affection in those eyes! That is the gaze of a man who wishes to devour! It is the classic ’overprotective warlord and his delicate scholar’ trope playing out in real life!"

"The tragedy!" a third girl swooned, clutching her silk handkerchief to her chest. "Forbidden by blood, forbidden by society! They can only express their longing through ’accidental’ touches on the street! I must commission a painting of this moment immediately!"

Ji’an stood frozen on the cobblestones.

The colour completely drained from her face, leaving her a sickly shade of grey.

’I’m going to vomit,’ Ji’an’s internal monologue flatlined.

’I’m going to violently throw up all the double-boiled chicken soup I have eaten for the past three days. This is it! This is how I die. Not by a demon, but by the cringe of an entire city shipping me with my own brother!’

She looked at Lin Feng.

The Vanguard Commander was a Grandmaster of martial arts.

Naturally, he possessed hearing sharper than hers.

There was absolutely zero chance he had not heard the screeching fujoshis on the balcony.

Yet, Lin Feng did not look angry.

He didn’t even look disgusted.

He stood there, perfectly composed, looking down at Ji’an with a faint, amused, and unbothered smile on his lips.

"The tea house is just down the street," Lin Feng offered again, gesturing casually with his hand, completely ignoring the squeals of delight that erupted from the balcony at the simple movement.

"I am not going to a tea house with you!" Ji’an hissed, her face burning with absolute mortification. "Do you not hear them?! They are writing fanfiction about us in real time! They think we are engaged in a scandalous, taboo, cut-sleeve romance! We are siblings! This is disgusting!"

"They are nothing but some idle nobles with too much imagination," Lin Feng replied calmly, stepping slightly closer, fully aware of the impact he was creating for the audience above. "Let them talk. Words cannot harm us, and it matters little what they think. You know what you are, Ji’an."

"It matters to me!" Ji’an whisper-shouted, waving her hands frantically. "I have a reputation to maintain! I am the terrifying, arrogant chef of the Drunken Peak! If my Master Jiu Zui hears a rumor that I am the ’delicate scholar’ in a tragic BL romance with my brother, he will laugh so hard his liver will finally explode!"

Lin Feng chuckled, reaching out to gently flick her forehead again. "Your reputation is safe, Ji’an. No one who has ever seen you wield a spatula would dare call you delicate."

"Stop touching me in public!" Ji’an shrieked, swatting his hand away and taking three steps backward, putting a safe distance between them.

"Oh, the angst!" a girl on the balcony wailed dramatically. "He pushes him away to protect the Commander’s honor! He suffers the burden of the taboo alone! Ahhh! My heart is breaking!"

Ji’an squeezed her eyes shut, taking a deep, shuddering breath.

’That does it,’ Ji’an resolved, a cold, ruthless determination solidifying in her mind.

’I can’t let this narrative continue. Even if I actually liked men, which I do, but they think I am a guy, so it’s gay to them, but straight to me, but he’s my brother, so it’s incest, which makes it infinitely worse. And this brother of mine is also straight as a rod! He is the upright, righteous Vanguard! How can there be something scandalous between us?! I need to crush these rumors. I need to assert my absolute, undeniable, raging heterosexuality to the masses!’

She opened her eyes, glaring up at Lin Feng.

"Brother, I’m feeling tired, so I’m going home," Ji’an announced flatly. "Alone. And I am going to formulate a counter-offensive. Do not follow me, or I will put laxatives in your evening rations!"

With a dramatic, aggressive swirl of her pale blue robes, Ji’an turned and marched down the avenue, leaving the amused Vanguard Commander and a balcony full of hyperventilating fujoshis behind.

***

The next morning, Ji’an put her plan into action.

If the capital’s nobles thought she was a tragic, closeted cut-sleeve pining for her older brother, she would simply have to prove them wrong.

She needed to be seen in public, acting like a suave, carefree, unabashedly heterosexual playboy.

And she had the perfect, albeit incredibly annoying, prop!

"Su Yin," Ji’an barked, kicking open the door to her guest quarters.

The stray girl was lounging on a pile of silk pillows, eating grapes, and looking utterly bored.

She perked up instantly, her eyes widening with delight. "Hero! Are you finally taking me out?!"

"I am taking you shopping," Ji’an declared, tossing a heavy pouch of Imperial gold coins onto the table. "Put on your best, most obnoxious, highest-quality silk dress. Do your hair. Put on some rouge. You’re going to look like the most pampered, spoiled, adored young miss in the entire Azure Empire. Did you understand what I’m saying?"

Su Yin gasped, jumping off the pillows, practically vibrating with excitement. "Really, Hero? Are you buying me presents?!"

"I am going to buy you whatever you point at," Ji’an confirmed, crossing her arms, her eyes dark with resolve. "But there is a condition. When we are in public, you’re going to cling to my arm. You’re going to act like I’m the center of your universe. You’re going to giggle at my jokes, bat your eyelashes, and look at me like I’m the most handsome, irresistible man you have ever met."

Su Yin blinked, a slow, incredibly smug smile spreading across her porcelain face. "So... I just have to act exactly how I normally act around you?"

Ji’an winced, recognizing the painful truth in the statement. "Yes. Exactly like that. But louder. We have an audience to perform for."

An hour later, the trap was set.

Lin Ji’an and Su Yin hit the Avenue of Azure Dragons like a hurricane of extravagant wealth and scandalous behavior.

Ji’an played the part flawlessly.