Raising the Villain in Wrong Way

"A buffet?" Wangchen looked at her, baffled. "Young Master, this is a forbidden zone for mortals. Even Qi Condensation cultivators die here if they are careless."

"Details, details." Ji’an adjusted her spatial bag. "Come on, Little Puddle. Let’s go hiking."

As the carriage disappeared back down the road, leaving them alone at the edge of the towering forest, Wangchen moved to stand in front of Ji’an.

"Stay close to me," he ordered, no, requested, but the tone was an order. "Do not touch anything. Do not wander off."

Ji’an rolled her eyes at his back, but she didn’t argue. She knew exactly what was happening.

[System Note: The Entrance Exam has officially started. The Forest is the first filter. Candidates must reach the Sect Gate at the summit within three days. Obstacles: Poisonous Miasma, Rank 1 and 2 Spirit Beasts, and Maze Formations.]

Most disciples didn’t know this. They would arrive here, find no one to greet them, panic, and then get picked off by the forest.

In the original novel, this was where Xie Wangchen’s "misfortune halo" truly shone. He had entered the forest alone, ragged and injured.

Every beast in a five-mile radius had smelled his blood and attacked him. He had fought for three days straight without sleep, arriving at the gate half-dead, only to be sneered at by the Protagonists who had taken the "safe" routes.

But this time? This time, he had Lin Ji’an.

And Lin Ji’an had the system, her Special Constitution, and an encyclopedic knowledge of edible flora and fauna.

They walked into the mist as the temperature dropped noticeably. The silence was oppressive, broken only by the occasional snap of a twig or the distant screech of a bird.

"Watch out," Wangchen hissed, suddenly stopping. He pointed his sword at a patch of vibrant, purple flowers growing near the path. "Dream-Eater Orchids. Their pollen induces hallucinations."

He moved to slash them down to clear a path.

"Stop!" Ji’an lunged forward, grabbing his wrist.

Wangchen froze, looking at her with alarm. "Young Master! Don’t get close!"

"Are you crazy?" Ji’an looked at the flowers with sparkling eyes. She pulled a pair of silk gloves from her spatial bag, which was a part of her kitchen kit, and put them on. "Do you know how expensive these are? Dried Dream-Eater petals are the secret ingredient for ’Drunken Immortal Chicken.’ It makes the meat incredibly tender!"

Wangchen watched in horror and amazement as his delicate, noble Young Master ruthlessly ripped the deadly poisonous flowers out of the ground, shook off the dirt, and stuffed them into a jade box.

"Ingredients," she muttered happily. "Free ingredients."

Wangchen lowered his sword slightly. "You... you are going to cook with poison?"

"It’s not poison if you heat it above a certain temperature," Ji’an lectured, standing up. "It becomes a spice. Come on, I see some Iron-Skin Mushrooms over there. Those are great for soup."

For the next two hours, the "deadly exam" turned into a grocery run.

Every time a danger appeared, Ji’an neutralized it by identifying it as food.

A vine that tried to strangle them?

"Snake-Gourd Vine! Good for stir-fry!"

A cloud of toxic spores?

"Ah, Pepper-Dust! Don’t breathe it, but collect it!"

Wangchen’s tension slowly morphed into confusion. He was ready to fight for his life, but instead, he was acting as a pack mule for a gourmet chef who seemed to view the ecosystem of death as a supermarket.

However, the Forest eventually remembered it was supposed to be scary.

As the sun began to dip, casting long, eerie shadows, the ground shook.

Thump. Thump. Thump.

A low growl vibrated through the soles of their boots.

Wangchen stopped. His expression shifted from confused servant back to Cold-Faced Killer.

"Something is coming," he whispered. "Something big."

[System Warning: ’Villain’s Misfortune Aura’ activated. Attracting the nearest Elite Mob.]

Ji’an sighed. ’Classic. The moment we relax, the plot throws a rock at us.’

From the undergrowth burst a nightmare. It was a Steel-Bristle Boar, a Rank 2 Spirit Beast. It was the size of a minivan, covered in black spikes that looked like rusty nails. Its tusks were as long as swords, and its eyes glowed red with mindless aggression.

In the original story, this boar had gored Wangchen’s leg, leaving him with a limp for the first month of the academy.

The boar pawed the ground, snorting plumes of acidic steam. It looked at Ji’an. Then it looked at Wangchen. It roared, focusing entirely on the boy.

"Young Master, run!" Wangchen shouted, stepping forward. "Climb a tree! I will distract it!"

He channeled his Qi. The Winter’s Sigh sword glowed with a pale blue light. The temperature around him plummeted.

The boar charged. It was like a speeding tank.

Xie Wangchen didn’t retreat. He slid his left foot back, lowering his center of gravity. He waited until the beast was mere feet away.

Slash.

He moved like smoke. He sidestepped the tusks by an inch and struck the boar’s flank. The blade skittered off the steel bristles with a shower of sparks.

"Its hide is too tough!" Wangchen gritted his teeth. "Go, Young Master! I can’t pierce it!"

From the safety of a large rock, Ji’an watched the fight. She wasn’t running. She was analyzing.

"Of course you can’t pierce it there," she shouted, cupping her hands around her mouth. "That’s the shoulder blade! It’s the toughest part! Aim for the soft spot behind the ear! That’s where the meat is tender!"

Wangchen dodged a lethal swipe of the boar’s tusks. "Tender meat?! This is not the time for a cooking lesson!"

"It is always time for a cooking lesson!" Ji’an yelled back. "Use the ’Filleting Strike’! Low stance! Upward slash! Behind the ear!"

Wangchen was exhausted. He was fighting a tank. But he trusted Lin Ji’an blindly.

He gritted his teeth. As the boar turned for another charge, Wangchen dropped to his knees, sliding under the beast’s massive tusks.

He saw it. A small patch of softer, paler skin just behind the massive jawbone.