Monster Breeder

“The fuck was that light?” Peter asks.

I don’t have much time. What has the best chance of turning the tables here?

*Forest Marks – Two*

Mandragora Photosynthesis

Pitcher Treefolk Photosynthesis

Twisted Treefolk Twisted Apple

Twisted Treefolk Roots

Pitcher Treefolk Vines

Mandragora Plant Growth Magic

Pitcher Treefolk Plant Growth Magic

Twisted Treefolk Bark Skin

Twisted Treefolk Earth Magic

Twisted Treefolk Cock

Pitcher Treefolk Stomach Acid

I could try to force-feed him a Twisted Apple. Maybe the tree roots would trip him? Unless the roots are growing from my feet… Bark Skin would add a second layer of defense, but will it be enough? If I get Stomach Acid, I could puke on him, but wouldn’t any that gets on me burn my skin, too?

*Selected Mandragora Photosynthesis!*

*Selected Pitcher Treefolk Vines!*

I hope this works.

“I’d run if I were you,” Peter says as he looks me up and down. “Retreat to the surface and leave your boy toy with his daddy.” The Bunny Patron thrusts his hips as he talks, shaking his fat ass and making me want to puke again.

“Not a chance,” I say as I rise to my feet and don a new set of my crab armor. “I’m going to kick your butt.”

“Too bad.” Peter tosses the carrot in one hand as he talks. “I don’t know what spell you used to heal those wounds, but I doubt you can do that more than once a day. That’d be overpowered as fuck, heh, heh, heh.”

I think he’s right. If Olindia is ‘exhausted’ as my status menu suggests, then she probably refreshes at sunrise. I’ll have to rely on my new marks.

Peter advances on me, carrot club hoisted over a shoulder, resuming our battle. I activate Wolf Rush, dodge a stone pillar, counterspell a thrown rock with my Earth Magic, and almost mistime a duck when he swings the carrot at my head.

The biggest problem I’ve had dealing with Peter is Fast Learner’s lackluster performance. Up until now, fighting the Fishman, then the Mole-men, Orcs, Treefolk, and Suka, my opponents have had straightforward combat styles. They’ve had movement patterns, predictable timing, and one or two offensive options at most. The longer the fight goes on, the better I understand them.

Peter hasn’t been like that. The way he switches between fighting styles almost feels like dealing with separate opponents one after another. Some of what I’ve learned has carried over, sure, but I don’t feel that godlike sense of borderline precognition I expect at the end of a long fight. I’m having to re-learn his timing with the carrot club, now. Worse, I have to unlearn his timing with the haymakers the carrot is replacing. Unless he sneaks in a punch when I least expect it…

Yeah, if Peter figures out my cornerstone ability, he’ll probably start poisoning my Fast Learner with a false pattern before increasing his tempo to land a killing blow. That’s the kind of fighter he is. I wouldn’t be surprised if he has something else tucked away, waiting to spring it on me.

Then I’ll just have to force him to use all his tricks!

I’ve been stalling and dodging while learning how to use my Treefolk Vines. It’s super weird. I have these subcutaneous nodules at key points around my body, mostly at joints like my elbows, hips, wrists, and shoulders. With an expenditure of will, these nodules produce prehensile plant vines at a burst-growth rate of several feet per second. There’s a cooldown period after that.

The next time I dodge Peter’s carrot club, I launch my vines at his arm, attempting to entangle him. The Bunny Patron reacts without surprise, ruthlessly yanking his arm back to pull me off my feet. His left hand’s rocky knuckle duster punches me in the solar plexus before I can blink.

I’m sent flying again, hitting another stone pillar, and all my crab armor shatters. Despite everything, I’m right back where I started. Sorry, Olindia… Except, his punch didn’t hurt that bad. I don’t think I broke any bones either and I’m strangely clearheaded after deserving a concussion. What gives?

Then I remember Slime Constitution. I see! It doesn’t heal wounds; rather, it prevents them. Basically, my bones and internal organs have become slightly gelatinous, thusly resistant to blunt damage. I’ll still bleed if cut, and I’ll die if I’m flattened, but I can tank harder hits now.

“Yeah, I’m not letting you get back up this time, girlie.”

The Bunny Patron looms over me, club hoisted high in both hands. Okay, that could definitely kill me. I’m prone with precious few seconds remaining, and he’ll probably block my escape route with Earth Magic. A mental check reveals my vines snapped clean at the nodules when Peter punched me, and they’re on cooldown.

I’m up shit creek without a paddle.

“AAAHHH!!! MY FUCKING BALLS!” Peter drops his carrot club and reaches for his nuts as a lone figure dashes from between his legs to my side.

“Cottontail?” I stare in shock as my favorite bunny girl spits out a chunk of flesh and wipes blood from her mouth. I underestimated her, assuming I was alone down here, but I had two faithful companions at my side!

“I won’t let you hurt Alex, father.”

“You can’t be here,” I tell her as I get to my feet. “He’ll kill you!”

“I can help. We just need to split his attention.”

“I’M GONNA SPLIT YOU IN HALF, BOY!”

Peter summons two carrot clubs, one in each hand, and starts throwing them rapid-fire. I knew he was hiding a trump card! He’s definitely going all-out this time. The flying carrots dig furrows in the ground where they land or leave impact craters on the stone pillars.

Cottontail and I both dodge aside. My long-eared lover is surprisingly agile, bouncing from floor to stone pillar, then rebounding onto the floor with bunny hops. Seeing her move gives me an idea.

The stone pillars are everywhere in this room, but I haven’t been using them to my advantage.

I throw ember spears to retake Peter’s aggro. The burning darts illuminate the underground lair in bursts of sparks as they impact the Bunny Patron’s sides and back. In his rage, Peter ignores his smoking fur to turn and throw carrot clubs my way.

My vines are off cooldown. I extend them on my right side to grab a stone pillar, then reel them in to pull me aside. The carrot club sails past me as I’m slung toward the pillar. Landing on my feet, I spring off the vertical surface using Harpy Lightweight to replicate Cottontail’s bunny hop.

The result is a new movement style that’s faster than my Wolf Rush and more stamina-efficient because I can reuse my vines. I don’t have to regrow them each time as they’re dexterous enough to release the stone pillar as I leap away. That also removes the growth cooldown.

Peter isn’t fast enough to chase me down, and neither his carrots nor Earth Magic can hit me while I’m focused on dodging. I’m slower when throwing spears, but that’s why Cottontail came to help. She jumps in to bite him whenever Peter doesn’t show her respect. Then I land a few ember spears whenever he splits his attention to attack Cottontail.

The longer he ignores my embers, the more fur catches on fire. Soon, he’s smoking all over and the pain has destroyed his logical decision-making. He’s throwing carrots in all directions in a berserk rage, but that’s the kind of brainless fighting style my Fast Learner is actually best at predicting.

Cottontail hides behind the pillars while I start tossing ember spears with impunity. Peter and I throw projectiles at one another non-stop, but all of mine are landing, and none of his can hit me. Dozens of cuts lacerate the Bunny Patron’s sides and limbs. He’s bleeding all over, but not enough to put out the fire.

Finally, he stops, drops, and rolls. Peter writhes on the ground until the dirt smothers his burning fur.

“Surrender or die.”

I hold the tip of an ember spear to his eye.

Covered in mud and blood, the Bunny Patron looks up at me, and says, “Fuck you, girlie. I give up.”

*Trounced the Bunny Patron – One Fuzzy Mark!*

I smile with satisfaction when I read the new mark’s title. While I didn't win totally solo, engendering loyalty in others is just another form of power, right? None of Peter's children or lovers leaped to his aid. I feel justified in accepting this mark.

“Damnit, I should’ve recognized those tattoos from the start. I just couldn't believe it because you still look mostly human. But you’re not. You’re the new Echidna.”

Oh, my God Beast!

What the fuck is an echidna?