Black Badger

I sat up, my face haggard.

Yoon got up the moment he saw me rise. He was dressed in a light windbreaker and jogger pants, just like always. It looked like he was heading out for his morning workout.

No different from usual.

I lifted my heavy eyelids and forced out a sunken voice.

"Yoon."

"By the way, those two kept asking questions, so I handled it and made something up on my own."

Yoon spoke in a flat tone, as if he were just updating me on the day's schedule.

Then he added in the same even tone.

"That you were the party leader."

"What?"

What?

The disbelief cleared my hoarse voice instantly.

Sleep fled in a flash. I opened my swollen eyelids wide.

"What do you mean, suddenly? Party what... Are you talking about a political party? Why would I have been the party leader?"

"I needed a reason for you to be on familiar terms with a big information broker."

Yoon looked down at me with an expression like he couldn't believe I was asking something so obvious.

His cool eyes held no particular emotion that day, either.

"Just remember the basics. Before you lost your memory, you were the leader of a party that's gone now, all your party members died, and because of that, you're having flashbacks and went to the bathroom to throw up."

"Out of all the jobs out there, why a party?"

"Would you have been a lawyer or a doctor?"

"What about the game I came from?"

"I covered that in the same way. It seemed like something your party members gave you."

"Did they buy that?"

"Probably not. But if they don't believe it, what are they gonna do about it."

My mentor pointed out coolly.

I started to retort but shut my mouth again. He had a point. If they didn't believe it, then what? The old spider wasn't going to spill any more info, and there was no other angle to dig from anyway.

It was connected to Colton. That dangerous Akwoo would've definitely wiped out everyone who knew about it back then.

Walker had to be suspicious of me by now and would investigate on his own, but even a top-notch fixer like him wouldn't turn up anything. Uncovering something the elders were dead set on hiding was next to impossible.

I let out a heavy sigh.

Once again, I'd dodged the crisis with this ridiculous excuse. The lie had ballooned, but there was no alternative.

When it came to the truth about the elders and Titans, it was better to let it stay buried.

It was a little disorienting since it was an excuse I hadn't seen coming.

If the two seniors asked separately, I'd have to stick to the story without cracking.

With that firmly in mind, I pushed the issue about the seniors aside.

Then I lowered my gaze, reflecting on what I'd learned yesterday.

Self-loathing welled up.

"Up until now, I figured there had to be some reason for the betrayal."

Still looking down, I muttered bitterly to myself.

"But to sit in the leader's seat and cast out my own people... No matter the reason, it feels like the sin can't be justified."

"Hand over the game first."

Yoon ignored my gloomy mumbling and held out his palm.

This guy was serious...

I lifted my head and shot my mentor a sullen look.

"Comfort your deputy mentor who's wallowing in despair, at least a little."

"Why?"

Yoon's eyes widened.

Bewilderment flickered in his enlarged eyes. Seeing the doubt there, I parted my lips slightly.

Good grief.

This man really didn't get it.

I stared at my wide-eyed mentor with a look of horror.

"No... It's come out that I was total trash."

"Why you?"

"I was the boss but betrayed my own people. Instead of risking my life to protect them."

"How exactly did you betray them?"

...Good question.

I blanked for a moment before replying dumbly.

"I don't know the exact details."

"Then why are you whining over something you don't even fully understand."

"Regardless, it's clear I sided with the humans. I even handed the sword right to them to kill Ray. It's like Ye-hyeon selling out his subordinate badgers."

"Do you remember who started the war first?"

Yoon asked in an objective tone.

I plopped down on the cabin floor and gazed up at my mentor blankly.

I carefully sifted through my memories, but the key parts still wouldn't surface. Those fragments from the rundown subway car. All that came back were the betrayal-filled glares from Kyle and my people.

I gave up digging and shook my head.

"I don't remember."

"Then that means you don't know who was at fault. Quit moping and get up."

My mentor didn't pull back his outstretched hand.

It was a hand with thick knuckles. A long diagonal scar stretched across the palm.

I could tell at a glance it was from a deep knife slash. A battlefield wound? Or something from elsewhere? Either way, it was nothing like Colton Wiseman's smooth, elegant hand.

Why had I ever joined hands with Colton Wiseman...

As I started to sink into thought, Yoon's voice dropped from above.

"Keep sitting there like that, and I'll hand you off to Richard."

I shot to my feet.

Now my eye level matched my mentor's, one eyebrow cocked at an angle.

Gazing at his sharp-featured face, I flashed a bright smile.

"That game's right in my pocket, honored senior."

"Yeah? Hand it over."

"Would it be okay if I gave it to you after I finish it?"

With the smile plastered on, I groped around wildly with my hands.

I quickly snagged the cigar box from the nightstand. Snatching it up, I placed it neatly in Yoon's open palm.

"It's a premium cigar from Spitfire, senior. Tastes pretty good—light one up."

"Did you smoke cigars back then too?"

Yoon glanced indifferently at the box.

"Quality's worse than cigarettes."

"If you don't smoke them often, they're not bad at all."

"What's the point of playing it all the way through."

My mentor pulled a cigar from the box and asked.

I blinked as I took back the box he offered. Amid all the chaos yesterday, the game I'd run into at Shu's place came to mind.

From E.

From E.

I set the cigar box back on the nightstand.

"I figured playing it might reveal something."

I fiddled idly with the game chip in my pocket.

"Something... The title feels like a letter someone left behind..."

"Yeah, fine. Give it here once you've cleared it."

He agreed more readily than I'd expected.

When I looked up at him with wide eyes, my mentor shot back a gaze like, why are you so surprised?

"I'm not into clearing games. I just want to tear apart the structure. You done moping?"

"...Yeah, I guess... But come on, can't you at least think your cute deputy mentor's sunk in sorrow for a perfectly valid reason? I wasn't even asking for comfort."

"What's cute about some old guy who's lived his life."

Yoon sliced through my whining with a voice like a biting gale.

He followed up with a fastball in a tone devoid of any warmth.

"Wasn't it all your own choices?"

My mentor's eyes were sharp as a pale mace.

Eyes that seemed innately incapable of warmth. Over my not-insignificant lifespan, I'd crossed paths with more than a few like that. Colton was one. Kyle had clocked his chill right away and come to loathe and scorn him.

So Kyle never could've imagined I'd shake hands with him.

The types who kept an eerie calm even in the heat of battle—people you just didn't want near.

I met the man's inorganic gaze and smiled bitterly.

"You're right."

"Then accept it. Wrapping yourself in guilt now won't get you any recognition, and it won't change a thing."

My mentor spoke in a parched tone before tucking the cigar into his pocket.

"So what do you want? Atonement?"

"If atonement's possible, I'd carve out my soul to do it. But it's not that kind of sin. Could it even be forgiven? What I did."

"Then you've got no reason to keep wallowing."

The man with his refined features stood there crookedly, hand still in his pocket. It was the usual pose whenever he headed out for morning exercise.

My mentor, empathy-free as ever, layered on the cold verdict just like that.

"If I were you, now that it's come to this, I'd carve out every last trace of the past too. You drew your sword deciding to side with the humans, right? Once the sword's out, you slash everything you meant to cut."

Good lord.

I'd heard something just like that from Colton.

I couldn't hold it in and burst out laughing.

"You're saying the exact same thing as Falcon!"

"You're over the line."

Yoon replied with his face still blank.

"But I'm still better than that bastard."

"Ah, right. At least you don't go around killing people."

Colton had butchered anyone in his way to climb higher...

...But why the silence?

The cabin fell quiet.

Dead silence.

The smile on my face slowly faded.

No... Hold on.

"You kill people too?"

"What kind of talk is that all of a sudden."

Yoon curved his lips into a slow smile.

The lazy grin stretched out, chilling. Mouth agape, I stared at the mentor standing before me.

"If you'd killed innocent humans, Ye-hyeon would've just let you walk?"

I wasn't too dense to miss the implication tucked between the lines.

I gaped at him in shock.

Then the truth slipped out.

"I miss Ye-hyeon." 𝓯𝓻𝒆𝙚𝒘𝓮𝙗𝓷𝒐𝓿𝙚𝒍.𝙘𝓸𝙢

"Cut the bullshit."

"The old me must've sided with humans because of people like Ye-hyeon or Ami. If I'd only run into types like you and Falcon, I'd have pushed for wiping out all humans."

"You've come back a dumb newbie. Let's go work out."

Oblivious to the weight of his own words, the madman jabbed a thumb toward the back door.

Yoon twisted his body lazily and tacked on.

"After the track, swing by home and grab some pumpkins. They're piling up and a pain to deal with. Take 'em all and eat, or I'll pass you to Richard."

"If you'd been assigned as my mentor back then, I never would've turned traitor."

I replied glumly and tottered after him.

"I'd have led the human extermination charge myself."

It was time to roll under Yoon's lead again.

In the end, I got roped into dealing with the pumpkins.

*

Walker and Shu didn't come looking for me right away.

I did get one message from Shu. I had no clue what to say back to my colorful-haired senior, so I clutched my phone and groaned over it for a while.

Because this was Shu's message.

[Shu Diamond: Did you do politics?]

Party leader, what even was a party leader...

I vaguely recalled crossing paths with all sorts of politicians back then, and sharing meals with them often, but at my core, I'd had no interest in politics.

Becoming leader didn't seem tied to politics either.

Though I couldn't recall the precise path to becoming the Titans' leader. Was I subconsciously burying the memory out of fear it'd drag me back into guilt...

Either way, I stared at the screen, mulling it over, before sending this reply.

[I heard I did, but I don't really rememberㅠ]

Mercifully, Shu didn't dig deeper.

Instead, she told me to play the game and share my thoughts. Naturally, that was the plan.

Even if I picked up on something tied to the past, I'd have to word the review carefully. A neutral one wouldn't be tough—just rattle off the story, music, playtime, difficulty, and so on.

I still hadn't worked up the nerve to start the game, though.

I was afraid of it.

Even after telling Yoon that, I couldn't bring myself to boot it up for weeks.

"You hurled up your guilt down to your soul."

Two weeks after getting the game. After training, as I headed to meet Hesi and Tom, Yoon came up and said.

My mentor continued, his face eerily blank.

"You said playing it might reveal something. You said you'd carve out your soul for atonement if you could, old timer. Just how long are you putting off playing."

"...Why are you coming at me like this."

Terrified by Yoon's weird phrasing, I backed away.

I was genuinely scared.

"Are you drunk?"

"If you don't start the game tomorrow, I plan to crack you open."

He snapped back to his usual speech.

Replying icily, he fished something from his pocket right after. I recognized it immediately—what my mentor pulled out. I'd seen it in the Harlem District with Shu and Walker.

Green liquid in a clear syringe.

Green Dream.

"We use this when slicing into an augmented body."

My mentor shook the syringe back and forth before my eyes.

"I've got the operating table booked too."