Black Badger

“You really don’t know what it is?”

“Did you drink something stronger than plum wine?”

Instead of giving an answer, Rei just said that.

“I’m telling you, there’s no such thing as that kind of sour jelly! And you said you weren’t talking about pudding.”

“It’s not....”

“Why are you suddenly so fixated on that?”

This time it was Kyle who asked.

I couldn’t find an answer. That’s a pretty sharp question. But I can’t answer it.

Soon, there won’t be any more time to drink this comfortably with the two of them like this, yet for a while now I’d been faintly thinking about jelly.

And lemon shrimp.

They said they’d never heard of a dish called lemon shrimp either.

The two of them told me to get a grip and just eat the food in front of me. I decided to listen. Yesterday I’d passed out after drinking the plum wine Kysis kept pouring into me, so even if I had two mouths I wouldn’t have had anything to say in my defense.

I’d sworn to myself that after waking up in his bedroom, something like that would never happen again.

But whenever Kysis is involved, I end up drinking past my limits.

Isn’t that a bit much?

He knows it too, doesn’t he? That given my position, it’s hard for me to refuse the alcohol he pours.

“It really is good.”

In front of me, as I sulkily poured my drink, Kyle drained his cup.

He tilted the small oak barrel filled with apple wine, propped it up on its edge, and rolled it idly across the table.

“Tastes better than last year’s.”

“Yeah. Better than that ‘dragon’s tears’ nonsense.”

“What’s this?”

As Rei nodded at Kyle’s muttering and swallowed his drink, I pointed at the dish set before Kyle.

It looked like vegetables and meat stir-fried in sauce, giving off a distinctive aroma.

It looked delicious.

“Is it food from your tribe?”

“Yeah. Didn’t I ever show you this before?”

“I’ve never seen it.”

“Try it.”

Kyle jerked his chin in suggestion.

“Even the kids love it.”

I picked up my utensils.

I didn’t offer it to Rei. As befitted someone from a noble family, Rei had a certain reluctance toward trying new foods.

On the other hand, I didn’t have any particular aversion, so I immediately scooped some and put it in my mouth.

It had a slightly different aroma than the soup Kysis’s favored cook makes—

“Ghk.”

I shot up from my seat.

I rounded the chair and began pacing behind it in earnest. Kyle and Rei looked at me in confusion.

“What are you doing?”

“It’s too spicy.”

What is this?

It’s too spicy.

Spicy!

I paced back and forth, hoping the burning would fade, but it had no effect.

If anything, it just earned me Kyle’s ridicule. After blinking at me, he lowered his head and began shaking with laughter.

I shot him a glare filled with resentment and irritation, but he didn’t seem to notice.

Meanwhile, Rei blinked at me, then pushed the plate with that dish far away.

“Good thing you tried it first.”

“You two just can’t handle spicy food.”

“No, it’s just spicy!”

Drinking more alcohol wouldn’t help.

I stopped pacing, sat back down, and started gulping water. Kyle smirked and poured more into my cup.

“I thought you suddenly remembered some drunken mistake.”

“No.”

At Kyle’s teasing tone, I downed a long gulp of water and grumbled.

“This time I wasn’t even holding my phone.”

Rei and Kyle looked at me strangely.

What’s the problem?

I sent them a puzzled look in return, and after studying me for a moment, Rei asked,

“What’s a phone?”

“Huh?”

What kind of question is that?

“You don’t know what a phone is?”

“Never heard of it.”

“Me neither.”

“It’s that thing....”

...What was it?

Suddenly it felt like something blocked my throat, and my train of thought snapped.

I sat there blankly, as if I’d been caught in a freeze spell.

I was definitely holding it in my hand when I drank plum wine before.

Because of that, I think I caused trouble for people I cared about.

Why can’t I remember exactly what it was...?

And who exactly were those people I cared about?

“Still drunk?”

“How much did Sir Kysis make him drink yesterday?”

Rei muttered as he poured more water into my cup.

“Drink. His Majesty could summon you at any time. You need to at least have your wits about you.”

“Ah, right.”

His Majesty...

This time I thought of the man who seated me in the position of Knight Commander.

The sovereign of the Empire who refused to bend his opinion even though I declined the post several times. He forced me into the position of Second Knight Commander and said, “I look forward to the many things you will accomplish together with Sir Kyle.”

When I said Kyle was already doing well enough on his own, he replied, “He performs excellently. But his workload is excessive. He needs someone to lighten his burden.”

While kneeling and responding that I was humbled by such excessive trust, I had truly felt relieved that the Emperor had acknowledged Kyle on the surface.

Especially because I knew that even «N.o.v.e.l.i.g.h.t» now, classified as one of the Emperor’s closest aides, Kyle was sometimes seized by the impulse to stab him to death.

Ah.

In this world, it should have been him who fell here, not me.

Kyle’s unfulfilled wish.

This was a golden opportunity to achieve it. Yet the Emperor is cruel to him until the very end. To be honest, when Kyle became Knight Commander, I felt a trace of bitterness. I knew he couldn’t fully rejoice in a position so many others envied.

I knew he couldn’t reveal that fact to the knights under him either. Sometimes I even wished the Emperor would release him.

Even though Kyle, Rei, and I all knew that would never happen.

Since when had you been down there?

She and I had been stuck there for so long. You fell later than she did—so why didn’t you go looking for her?

Kyle, you—

...What am I thinking?

“Hey.”

I came back to my senses at the rough tug on my arm.

Blinking, I saw my friends pulling me up from my chair.

“You need to go get some proper sleep.”

“Wow, sorry.”

Right now, I must be a terrible friend.

I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m not sick or anything.”

“You’re just short on sleep.”

Rei replied simply.

“Go get some rest.”

I followed their advice.

Work would come piling in like a mountain soon enough, so it would be wise to catch some sleep beforehand.

If I slept and woke up, the way my thoughts kept jamming would probably improve.

If I could have a comfortable, dreamless sleep...

***

“Chick.”

I woke at the familiar voice.

“You’re Knight Commander now. Time to get up.”

Strangely, it felt like my chest was being torn apart.

There was no reason for that at all. I shot upright in bed, eyes wide, and stared at the knight who had entered my tent without permission.

Platinum blond hair, identical to the Emperor’s.

But instead of sky-blue eyes, there were violet ones. Kysis stood crookedly at the foot of my bed with his arms crossed.

He wore an expression as if he were about to say something mocking.

But the moment he saw my face, the sneer vanished.

Kysis stared at me, expressionless.

“What’s wrong?”

The Swordmaster of Zaan asked in a stiff voice.

“Why are you crying?”

I don’t know.

There was truly nothing wrong. I’d just woken up. I hadn’t even dreamed. In fact, I hadn’t even been aware that I was asleep.

No sad memory had surfaced. It had been quite some time since I’d experienced loss—there was absolutely no reason for me to be crying like this.

And yet the tears wouldn’t stop.

After wiping at them several times with the back of my hand, I gave up on the futile effort.

“I don’t know.”

Kysis’s brow bent.

“Cecil.”

After silently watching me for a moment, he turned his head and called the mage.

“Is there some strange spell on him?”

Cecil, standing outside the tent, quietly shook her head.

Her silver hair swayed. Seeing the familiar mage, I felt a bizarre urge to greet her warmly.

Even more bizarre because I wanted to speak casually to her.

No matter that I’d become Knight Commander—

To want to speak informally to the closest aide of Kysis, who had been an Archmage for ages?

The effects of that damned plum wine clearly hadn’t worn off.

And these damned tears.

They just won’t stop.

“Maybe you had a dream?”

“Perhaps.”

I lied.

I knew Kysis noticed the lie.

But he didn’t press.

“Sleep more.”

“No. I was about to get up anyway.”

“You call that ‘up’?”

“Sir Kysis.”

I wiped my tears and rose from the bed.

Through vision blurred and distorted by tears, I looked at the Swordmaster standing with a rigid expression.

“Where are you right now?”

“...Did you smoke herbs from Bebellium Hill?”

“No....”

Why did I ask that?

Once again, I couldn’t understand myself.

But the words that followed were at least perfectly normal.

Not strange terms like lemon shrimp, jelly, or phone—but words I was familiar with.

And the sentence they formed was perfectly normal too.

“Please spar with me.”

Because there was something I never finished learning from him...

“Do you have time?”

“It’s not the time that’s the problem. It’s your condition.”

Kysis snorted.

“In that state, could you even cut the edge of my sleeve?”

I probably could.

Strangely, I thought that.

My sword had continued to grow after that time.

On the surface, it might have seemed like I never had time to properly swing a blade. But in truth, I swung a sword more during that period than ever before. It just wasn’t a greatsword. I often used a dagger I hadn’t even liked much before. But it helped immensely. It made me understand my sword more deeply than I’d thought possible.

So even now, I could probably cut at least the edge of your sleeve.

I still wouldn’t surpass you, but...

“I need to learn aura.”

“Aura?”

Kysis repeated in a strange voice.

“...You believe in a word that’s fallen out of use.”

“It’s not a false word.”

I answered almost reflexively.

“Aura...”

The blue light that once wrapped around his blade.

“It doesn’t exist only in legends, like others claim—”

The tears that had nearly stopped spilled again.

This time Kysis sighed. It had been a long time since I’d seen him so openly troubled, without masking his emotions. Somehow I felt a strange sense of satisfaction at that, even while struggling to understand my own behavior.

“No, I’m really sorry. Why am I like this? Is there some monster that causes this sort of effect?”

“Never heard of one.”

“I’ll have to ask Kai.”

“Who’s Kai?”

“Kairos.”

He knows more about monsters than anyone. Maybe he’ll know something.

After the spar, I should go find that red-haired handler.

First, the spar.

Consumed by the urgency that I had to spar before this chance slipped away, I only belatedly realized that Kysis looked shocked.

In a horrified voice, he said,

“You’re on nickname terms with that handler? Since when?”

“Huh?”

Since when?

“It’s been a while.”

“That’s new information.”

“...It’s not something to be that surprised about.”

Well, even I admit I got close to Kairos rather abruptly...

.......

...Wait.

Then when did I get that close to him?

It feels like I was extremely grateful and astonished about something.

I definitely—

Damn it.

“I’m going crazy. I need to clear my head by moving.”

“Fine. Come.”

Kysis responded immediately.

Trying to shake off the persistent sensation that I was forgetting something, I quickened my steps.

If I move my body, maybe I’ll remember.

This impatience and this inexplicable guilt will fade too.

So I told myself, and hurried after Kysis.