Black Badger

I pressed my lips into a straight line.

I had thought I hadn’t shown it enough for even myself to notice.

But I couldn’t bring myself to avoid that sharp green gaze.

I quietly slipped both hands, which had been outside the blanket, back under it.

“...It’ll get better with time.”

Just like how I can more or less look in the mirror now.

“Please give me a little more time.”

“...You really don’t want to try counseling~?”

When I admitted it without resistance, the senior’s voice softened.

I gave a bitter smile.

“If I have time, I’ll try.”

“That’s you saying you won’t go.”

Ska said.

“You and Jonathan always answer like that. And then neither of you ever actually goes. Rick. While you’re at it, take the junior by the hand and go get counseling together.”

“I’m not that bad.... He can’t even hold someone’s hand right now~?”

“Is it because of the rampage?”

Ska asked, sitting on the hospital bed.

Ricardo is the same when it comes to not letting you run away.

I let out a dry laugh and turned my head toward him.

“It seems like that’s part of it.”

“No one’s scared of you, so stop digging your own grave.... It ended well~.”

“I’m glad it ended well.”

“So why do you hate physical contact?”

Isn’t it obvious.

I was afraid I might accidentally absorb someone. I knew perfectly well that it was an irrational fear. But the fear itself wasn’t something I could control.

The fact that I had attacked my seniors while out of my mind hit me like a dull blow.

Until Yun told me about it, I was too overwhelmed to even grasp what had happened.

Once I actually recognized the situation, everything came crashing down at once.

But I didn’t want to explain all of that in detail, so I just answered awkwardly.

“It was a shocking experience. Probably one of those trauma responses. If I rest a bit, it’ll get better. I’ve had strange habits develop before, and they went away with time.”

“What kind....”

“It’s a secret.”

For a moment, it looked like a blue vein bulged at Ricardo’s temple.

But I didn’t bother to confirm it. Instead, I quickly changed the subject, asking how everyone had been doing since the mission ended and what the atmosphere at headquarters was like.

Ska laughed and replied, “How would I know.”

Ricardo didn’t say anything about headquarters.

But he also didn’t dig any deeper into my strange reactions. He looked down at me and let out a heavy breath.

“When are you going to see your subordinates’ faces....”

This man really has a talent for poking exactly where it hurts.

I shifted my gaze to the corner of the hospital room.

“I don’t know.”

Once my condition improves a bit more....

“...Is Jack still down there doing that?”

“He said to let him know once you get better~.”

So they talked.

I snapped my head around, and Ricardo snorted.

“He said he’d contact you by phone then....”

I reached straight for my phone.

I’d eaten lunch already. I had the right to look at my phone now.

But it was snatched away.

Ricardo grabbed it.

“Rick!”

It’s not like looking at my phone for a bit would make my condition worse. Why is everyone like this?

“Give it back, please!”

“You’re not going to tell me what the pattern is, are you....”

Why would I tell you that.

It wasn’t like I was doing anything in particular, but I had still properly locked it. There were conversations with my subordinates and with Elders on there—I couldn’t just show my phone to anyone.

I held out my palm, making it clear I wanted it back.

Ricardo let out another heavy sigh, then placed the phone next to Ska’s bed.

“No....”

“Black still hasn’t contacted you~. If he does, I’ll tell you right away, so look at it then....”

And he really didn’t hand it over.

In the end, I couldn’t check my phone that day either.

***

Day after day devoted solely to recovery.

Sleeping, taking medicine, then sleeping again—while I was spending my time like that, Leeho came to visit me.

He’d been hospitalized briefly himself, but fortunately he had fully recovered and been discharged.

Apparently, he was receiving counseling for mild PTSD symptoms.

The causes of his PTSD were complex. First, the shock from the combat and the kidnapping, and second, the things he experienced while being held captive.

I rubbed my fingers along my jawline as I listened to Leeho’s story.

“I don’t remember the details very well.”

The man, dark circles heavy under his eyes even today, rolled the cap of his drink back and forth in his hand.

“Torture wasn’t the goal. Most of the time they put us to sleep and did something. When I woke up, parts of my body had turned ashen. Luckily, only my upper arm changed, so it doesn’t interfere with movement. I still don’t know what they did. It felt like they didn’t want us to see it.”

What are they doing?

They’re definitely trying something. Kidnapping Shu feels like it’s part of the same line of thought.

The problem is, we don’t even have a clue what they’re trying.

Leeho and the other Badgers who had been kidnapped all underwent full examinations, but nothing abnormal was found beyond calcification.

Since there’s no chance of winning through conventional warfare, they’ll try to exploit a blind spot—through magic or something else. Like the teleportation array seeds scattered throughout the Core.

Those who were kidnapped couldn’t remember the calcification process.

Sedatives had been used, and as if that wasn’t enough, their memories had also been erased with magic.

That doesn’t mean the seniors remembered none of the violence they endured there.

The Badgers tried to escape. They resisted.

They wouldn’t have held back.

Black Badgers were trained to fight Creatures, but they didn’t know how to respond to violence wielded by humans—or other species that looked human—driven by malice.

“I’m sorry. I should have gone out to the negotiation site earlier.”

“Oh, come on.”

Leeho shoved both hands into his pockets and leaned his upper body back against the chair.

“If even one person hadn’t come back, I would’ve written a resignation letter. Said I wasn’t cut out for the job and quit.”

“...Senior.”

“When we resisted, we got beaten. But when we didn’t, they just shoved us into a corner. Sometimes they’d call us out for something, then we’d come back after sleeping deeply. Stuff like that.”

He seemed to be fiddling with the bottle cap inside his pocket.

The sound of it crumpling and smoothing out repeated over and over.

Anxiety embedded in a compulsive noise.

Leeho looked at me with dark eyes.

“So what did they do to you?”

I was startled by the question, thrown at me without preamble.

“What did they do to you after dragging you off that you still can’t get discharged?”

I saw the guilt and fear reflected in my senior’s eyes and gave a bitter smile.

He might speak roughly, but he’s a genuinely good person.

He must know that if certain conditions hadn’t aligned, I never would’ve gone to the negotiation site in the first place. And yet, knowing that, he still felt a heavy sense of guilt toward me.

“It’s because I developed sepsis. You know my recovery is slower than that of a typical Badger.”

“...They talked about you sometimes.”

The senior stared at the hospital room floor.

“Even if I ✪ Nоvеlіgһt ✪ (Official version) wanted to tell them not to listen, they tore us apart so often there wasn’t time to pass messages. And I was one of the ones called out the least. The others got called out, had long talks with the enemy, brought back food to distribute, brought clothes. I never got the chance to see all the squad members who were kidnapped.”

“You were trained, Senior.”

I could tell instantly as well. Those who had received training for situations like this, and those who hadn’t. Those properly trained, and those who weren’t.

When you lose your freedom and everything is decided under the enemy’s mercy, a person becomes frighteningly vulnerable.

It was completely different from facing monstrous life-forms that couldn’t speak.

Most of them probably had never even faced humanoid enemies before.

A lot of people must have broken.

They would have accepted the enemy’s words and turned me into the target of their hatred and anger.

Because that was the only way they could endure it.

“I’m sorry. Instead of treating you like a lifesaver....”

“They weren’t trained, and they didn’t know me. It’s understandable. And the enemy is an expert in that field.”

“Tell Jack that too.”

Ah.

“His real name is Kairos, right?”

For the first time, I wiped the smile from my face.

I hadn’t known he’d told that story too.

It was fortunate that Kairos had a certain level of public recognition. As a prominent figure in Center Core, they wouldn’t be able to touch him easily.

“So you talked about Kairos too.”

“Huh? You didn’t expect that? I thought that was why you were keeping your distance from him.”

Leeho’s words stabbed sharply into my chest.

I couldn’t hold back and dragged a hand down my face.

“...Is he still killing time in the hospital lobby?”

“For today at least, yeah.”

That bastard only ever refuses to listen in the weirdest places.

The unease I’d forgotten about came rushing back.

I’d basically had him sitting in the ward lobby for almost a week now. If you count the days when I wasn’t fully conscious, it was close to ten.

Everyone who came to visit kept forbidding me from looking at my phone, so I hadn’t even been able to contact him.

As if losing my sixth sense wasn’t enough—now my phone too.

“You were tortured.”

Leeho’s voice snapped me back to myself.

“That’s why you don’t want to see your subordinates’ faces. Because something was done to you.”

I gave yet another bitter smile.

“For various reasons.... Ah, actually, I was just about to message someone. Could you hand me the phone over there?”

Please.

I asked casually, then carefully managed my expression.

I hoped it looked no different from asking him to pass me a bottle of water—like it wasn’t a big deal.

Leeho narrowed his eyes.

A sharp, dissecting gaze.

It felt like he’d noticed something, but thankfully, he didn’t show it.

Good thing Ska was discharged yesterday.

Leeho handed me the phone.

“Don’t take too long.”

“Thank you!”

I’ll use the phone after he leaves.

I smiled as I took it.

***

I couldn’t.

Jonathan showed up right after.

While Jonathan and the one who’d switched shifts with him—Kal—were away from their posts, I turned on the phone I’d carefully hidden.

And nearly dropped it.

[Yun: Oh? You finally turned it on?]

“Ugh!”

A message that popped up the moment I powered it on.

I let out a small scream and jolted.

Thunk!

“You insane bastard....”

I barely managed to catch the phone as it traced a parabolic arc through the air.

I almost smashed the screen.

“What’s so wrong about me checking my own phone....”

Yun couldn’t hear me, of course.

I muttered anyway, feeling irrationally guilty, then swiped Yun’s message off the top.

I wondered how it had managed to be at the very top with such perfect timing—but decided not to dwell on it.

Kal would be back soon. I didn’t have time. I needed to check the piled-up messages.

I hurried into the inbox.

It was overflowing.

[Igor: Don’t get worked up for no reason. Call when you feel like it. You’re not going anywhere, and we know you’re alive and fine—what’s there not to wait for.]

[Rose: If there’s anything you need me to do, let me know right away! I’ve already gone home. Please focus only on your recovery, Captain! And if you feel like downing more Fire Dragon liquor, contact me anytime♡]

[Deltei: Igor, you bastard]

[Rose: I affirm everything about you, Captain♡]

[Deltei: Hilde! She keeps making me exercise!]

[Rose: Please don’t worry about people like us and continue forward in the direction you believe you should take...♡]

[Yoow: Delete all messages that come from unsaved numbers.]

[Daeja: Sorry I couldn’t come by in person—I’ve been busy. Don’t read messages from unknown numbers. Focus only on your recovery. If anything happens, contact me immediately.]

[Ami: (video of a lamb hopping around) It looks like you.]

[Tom: Hilde. I heard you were injured on a mission. Contact me once you’ve recovered. Ignore Hesh’s messages.]

[Hesh: I’ll clear up all the misunderstandings, so don’t worry and just rest up before coming back!]

[(Anonymous): You disgusting Creature bastard.]

[(Anonymous): Hey, don’t you have any shame? If you’re a Creature, you should’ve avoided this place altogether instead of getting involved. How dare you even get a job here? I’m speechless at your audacity. I guess this looks cool to you people? Some kind of chosen-people complex? Do you get off on helping a primitive species?]

[(Anonymous): This is a Creature’s number. This is a Creature’s number.]

[Kalak, Senior: I’m taking them out one by one, so stay put.]

Taking out what?

I blinked at the first message I’d ever received from Sophia.

It can’t be about the Badgers, right?

I moved my finger and replied: What are you taking out, Senior?

There was no response. I didn’t dwell on it and kept scrolling through the messages.

So that’s why they kept stopping me from checking my phone.

But contrary to the seniors’ worries, none of this affected me at all. Insults from people I’d never met had no impact on me.

If anything, reading messages from people I hadn’t been able to see made me feel a little warmer.

Being able to get in touch eased my mind.

Especially reading my subordinates’ messages—it made it much easier to breathe—

[Kai: Hilde.]

A new message alert popped up.

I froze stiff in place.

A message that came flying in as if he’d been watching me.

[Kai: After the leaf veins were damaged, when Noya’s condition worsened badly enough, she would sometimes cause emotional transference unintentionally.]

The name of the Fire Dragon that had died engulfed in flames was written in the message.

It was the first time since arriving on Earth that Kairos had brought up his familiar.

[Kai: Only when her condition was so bad she could barely hold herself together. You know what I’m getting at.]

I think I do.

I even prayed that was the case....

Still, it would be better to hear it directly.

That’s what he’d want too.

And I’d be discharged soon anyway.

“...I have to face it.”

I set the phone down.

I bent forward and buried my face in both hands, then muttered to myself.

“I won’t run away. I’ll try my best, Master.”

I called someone I hadn’t called that way since coming to Earth.

Thinking of the person who taught me the importance of having the courage to face problems head-on.

I spent a long while gathering my courage as I recalled his memory.

***

Someone began pounding on the hospital room door hard enough to break it.

An urgent, rough knock, completely unlike usual.

It might leave a dent in the door.

“Calm down.”

Smiling, I pushed myself upright.

“Don’t break the door—just come in.”

Clatter!

The door flew open before I’d even finished speaking.

Eyes shaking wildly, unlike usual.

Vivid orange eyes.

“Hilde.”

The owner of those eyes called my name desperately.

I met his gaze and gave a bitter smile.

“Kairos.”