Black Badger

I panicked and rushed toward the door.

I pounded on the steel door with my fists and shouted.

“Please let me out!”

“If you two just talk it out~.”

What kind of nonsense is that.

I slammed my fists against the door again and again. And then I realized it. This door wasn’t just thick—it was absurdly thick. Not something that would open with ordinary punches.

The density felt insane too.

I should’ve realized why Ricardo had bothered to bring me here in the first place.

Shit! 𝑓𝓇𝘦ℯ𝘸𝘦𝑏𝓃𝑜𝘷ℯ𝑙.𝑐𝑜𝓂

I gave up on politely persuading him.

Instead, I started pounding on the door in a completely different way—desperate.

I poured urgency into my voice.

“The bathroom!”

Bang bang bang—KWAANG bang bang!

“I really need to use the bathroom! Ricardo! The bathroom!!”

“Just use the drawer there~.”

Is he out of his damn mind?

“Please respect human rights!”

I shouted while hammering the door with both hands.

“The human rights of your junior! Dignity!”

“If you talk it out, I’ll guarantee it right away~.”

Ricardo’s voice came back, laced with amusement.

I gave up on persuading this infuriating man. It’s not easy to convince someone who’s enjoying themselves.

So I decided to persuade someone else.

“Aide!”

I knocked on the door and called for Ska Owen.

“I really need to use the bathroom!”

“Yeah?”

I’m screwed.

The moment I heard Ska’s casual reply, I knew it.

This guy would be even harder to persuade than Ricardo.

“Then you’d better talk quickly. Once you talk it out, the door’ll open.”

I stared blankly at the closed door.

How could they do this to me.

I swore to myself that I would never again trust Ricardo when he told me to come along. I really thought he was just going to show me the training grounds.

I thought we’d look around the training area, smoke a cigarette, then go eat dinner.

I thought he called me because he genuinely wanted to hang out.

It was all my misunderstanding.

“This is betrayal, sunbae.”

When I muttered at the closed door, I heard Ricardo chuckle quietly on the other side.

Is this funny to you?

“Don’t you feel even a little sorry for me?”

“Nope~. Not at all~. Anyway, we’re heading out now, so you two have a nice talk~.”

“Where are you going!”

“The control room~.... If you make up with each other, we’ll let you out right away, so don’t worry~.”

So there’s CCTV.

I whipped my head around and spotted a camera mounted on the wall of the eight-pyeong room. There were two of them, tucked into the corners. Probably installed to monitor rookies during training.

The sound of seniors’ footsteps growing distant.

I heard them walk down the corridor and descend the stairs.

Once the footsteps faded completely, I twisted my body and glared at the CCTV.

As I stared sullenly into the pitch-black lens, Jonathan moved.

He pulled the sword at his waist out with the scabbard still on, then gripped it upside down.

Jonathan raised both hands holding the scabbard.

And then he smashed down like a madman near the doorknob.

BANG BANG BANG—KWAANG KWAANG KUNG KUNG KUNG KUNG KUNG KUNG KUNG KUNG!

Ah.

KUNG KUNG KUNG KUNG KUNG KUNG KUNG KUNG! KUNG! KUNG! KUUUNG!

This is scary.

I watched the senior slam the door while feeling utterly intimidated by his momentum.

At this rate, the scabbard was going to wear down.

Jonathan didn’t care and kept smashing the door violently.

Does he really hate being in the same room with me that much.

For a moment, I felt a little sad—then immediately realized I wasn’t in any position to feel sad. Last time, hadn’t I bolted without even trying to hide it?

Anyway. The door didn’t open.

Jonathan slid the scabbard back onto his waist and stared intently at the back door.

Then he bent at the waist and gripped the sword hilt.

Srrrng.

The moment he drew the real blade, a voice echoed through the training room.

[Jonathan. As you know, this door was built to help first-day enhanced-body rookies adapt, so it won’t be cut even with a real blade. It’s as thick as the portal zone doors.]

Ska Owen’s voice.

[You’ll just damage the edge of your sword.]

Jonathan paused, then slowly sheathed the blade.

That thick, huh.

Unlike Jonathan’s delicate swordsmanship, mine emphasized brute force.

So if I swung hard enough, wouldn’t it cut?

As I turned my body toward the front door, the aide’s voice came through the speaker again.

[That’s why it’s expensive too. If you don’t want to pay for damages out of pocket, don’t play around with swords in there.]

I let go of the sword, my hand dropping limply.

Then I turned and looked up at the CCTV camera with a pitiful expression, pouring every ounce of “how could you do this to me” into my face.

Jonathan stared at the camera with eyes full of irritation and rage.

No response came back.

We stared at the camera for a long time.

Then I surrendered first. Giving up, I trudged to the corner of the room and squatted down. I rested my forearms on my knees and waited for time to pass.

Jonathan soon went and sat in his own corner as well.

We sat at opposite diagonal ends, avoiding each other’s eyes, wrapped in silence.

We stayed like that for a long while.

Suffocating silence....

As I sat in the stillness, my thoughts drifted elsewhere. This kind of situation wasn’t unfamiliar. When I’d been captured by the village of madmen, or when I’d been taken prisoner back when I was just a foot soldier, I’d endured being trapped in narrow, dark spaces for stretches of time I couldn’t even measure.

A prisoner.

Leeho was a good man. He probably wasn’t dead, but I had no idea how he was being treated.

His wounds would heal immediately, so even if he were tortured, it wouldn’t leave visible marks.

And they probably hadn’t been trained to deal with someone like him. Until now, Black Badgers fought Creatures—not intelligent, humanoid enemies.

Once, Lee Seunghyun said that the reason he was paid as a special forces soldier was because he was nothing more than a tool. But that was an attitude only someone that rigid could have.

People who’d never imagined being captured on a mission.... People who’d never been taught how to endure captivity....

This wasn’t the time to be running around like this.

I turned my head and looked at Jonathan.

The man, sensing my gaze, slowly rolled his eyes toward me.

Pitch-black, vivid eyes.

I gathered courage from deep in my core.

“Sunbae.”

Jonathan didn’t look away.

“Um.”

“.......”

“I, uh....”

...What do I say?

I’d worked up the nerve to speak to him, but I had nothing to say.

What am I supposed to say here?

Apologize again?

Wouldn’t that just make him angrier? Besides, hadn’t Sophia told me not to belittle my own efforts?

I should’ve thought before opening my mouth.

Unable to avoid the gaze boring into me, I desperately turned my thoughts over.

Then, stammering, I spoke.

“You still can’t forgive me... can you?”

I could feel Jonathan’s piercing stare.

He looked at me with a catlike gaze and said,

“Is that all you wanted to ask?”

Bang!

A loud noise came from beyond the speaker.

That sound startled me more than Jonathan’s reaction.

I looked up at the speaker as the senior continued.

“Why do you care about my reaction?”

[Ah, this bastard, seriously.... Can’t you speak properly~?]

Ricardo’s voice spilled out of the speaker, thick with irritation.

[You punched him in the face, that’s why he cares, you asshole.... ‘Why do you care’ my ass~.]

[Truly astounding social skills, my friend.]

Ska’s voice followed, mixed with a hollow laugh.

[Sometimes I think your social skills are worse than my boss’s family’s.]

How can he say something that harsh.

Worse social skills than Lee Seunghyun—how could anyone say that. I stared up at the speaker in shock, then thought about it for a moment and fell into confusion. I honestly couldn’t tell which of the two had better social skills.

But Jonathan wasn’t listening to them.

He didn’t know Lee Seunghyun, so he couldn’t have understood anyway.

He kept his gaze locked on me and said,

“Don’t you think, from your perspective, that it was a justified choice?”

I blinked.

“No.”

I had no intention of lying.

“I’m not sure which choice you’re referring to, but even if I went back to the past, I wouldn’t make a different one.”

Jonathan closed his mouth and scrutinized me.

A brief silence settled between us.

The relationship was already broken—so why did the seniors keep clinging to hope?

As I thought that, Jonathan broke the silence.

It was a murmur, closer to talking to himself.

“I still can’t forgive your kind.”

Of course. He’d been through something that justified that.

“And as for the choice you made back then.... I resent the very fact that you set foot on Earth.”

I know.

That was why I let him hit me without resisting. At least when it came to that part, I didn’t regret it even a fraction. Victims of the war had every right to be angry at someone like me. Resentment and rage were never strange reactions.

But even if they were angry, I wasn’t going to want to overturn my past decisions.

Fear had been the biggest factor, but there was also the simple fact that I would never regret that choice. That was why I hadn’t tried to reconcile.

So....

“But I can’t let deaths like that happen again.”

Jonathan murmured while staring at the floor.

It took me a moment to understand his low, sunken voice.

He didn’t want to create more victims like his wife.

“And in Ashen Mantle, I saw fragments of your memories.”

I nodded to show that I’d heard his quiet murmur, but Jonathan’s voice grew clearer.

“Memories of you trying to stop the war from breaking out. Memories of you kneeling and begging in front of your own kin.”

My body stiffened.

“Memories of you handing over your sword.”

My sword.

The sword I’d kept by my side my entire life, the sword I’d let go of for the first time in order to kill my closest friend.

I met Jaeyeon in an opera house that maintained its elegant form even amid the chaos of war.

The glitter that sparkled at the corners of her upturned eyes and on her eyelids.

She listened to what I said, nodded, and then reached her hand out to me. In that moment, I knew I had crossed a line. The instant I placed my sword in her hand, I realized I would never be able to return to who I’d been before.

The despair I felt then.

The sorrow so crushing it felt like my body would break apart.

Jaeyeon passed my sword on to the one who could wield it best.

“I felt what you felt when you handed over that sword,” Jonathan said.

“I understood what kind of resolve it took to make a choice you could never take back.”

That creature makes you feel the emotions the owner of the memory felt at the time.

I hadn’t been certain, but it seemed Jonathan really had seen part of my memories back then.

At the time, he must not have understood, only felt my emotions—but now, he likely understood everything.

“At the very least....”

I averted my gaze, suddenly embarrassed, but the senior continued.

“You shouldn’t scorn someone who carried feelings that heavy and still struggled forward.”

Jonathan spoke with clear enunciation.

“Because I felt vividly how much pain you were in when you made that irreversible choice.”

Even if it’s a memory I’d rather forget.

“Hildebert.”

When my name was called, I brought my gaze back down from where it had been drifting.

I couldn’t tell whether what I felt now was embarrassment, sadness, guilt—or all three. Or maybe I was moved that someone who’d been desperately trying to return to an irretrievable past, even resorting to actors, had finally lifted their eyes from the past because of my memories and emotions.

I couldn’t say for sure. I myself was soaked in emotions I couldn’t clearly define.

“Now that I understand and feel all of that, I can no longer hate you.”

I felt like his gaze was going to pierce straight through me.

“After seeing someone who keeps taking the next step even while being crushed under the weight of death.”

I had seen part of his past as well.

The flutter he’d felt toward the woman who sold tulips. The heavy longing and affection he’d felt when talking about his wife to his comrades.

That was probably why he’d been so afraid.

Because he’d felt, even in fragments, the weight of his own emotions—and thought that meant there was no way to mend what lay between us.

I looked into Jonathan’s eyes and gave a bitter smile.

“Thank you.”

I was relieved that the things we’d both been shown unintentionally hadn’t become the reason we drifted further apart.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you beforehand.”

I never would’ve dreamed it would turn out the opposite way.

Jonathan nodded.

Then he closed his mouth. I kept silent as well, trying to rein in the emotions that had surged up—feelings from the past I’d forgotten but that had resurfaced, and the emotions stirred by Jonathan’s words.

I’m exhausted....

Ricardo’s voice yanked me back to reality.

[What about the apology?]

I flinched.

[Now you should say you’re sorry for hitting him, right?]

Across from me, Jonathan squeezed his eyes shut.

[Jonathan, my student~?]

[Don’t be stubborn, my friend.]

Ska spoke.

[I’m embarrassed just watching this.]

Jonathan bit his lip hard.

And didn’t move. His face screamed that he was dying of humiliation. Seeing that, I had to struggle not to burst out laughing.

His reaction is hilarious.

[Haa....]

Ricardo’s sigh wasn’t funny.

[Should I force you two to shake hands and make up~?]

[Jonathan Kudo. Apologize properly before I make you chant “I was wrong” three times. Don’t embarrass me and Rick any further.]

“...I want to apologize for that.”

I was thinking this was going a bit far when Jonathan spoke heavily.

“I was careless.”

“No.”

I pressed down the laughter threatening to spill out.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t explain it in my own words. Anyone would’ve blacked out in that situation.”

“Are your injuries fully healed?”

[It’s been months since then....]

Ricardo snorted.

[Did you beat him up and forget already? Smacking someone in the face and then asking that with a perfectly fine expression—what is that~.... Is he insane?]

[You did well, Hilde.]

Ska laughed quietly.

[I’m sorry this is all I could do. My friend’s capacity is a bit small. I’m really sorry, but please understand.]

Of course.

***

We were released from the room.

The two seniors opened the training room door themselves. Jonathan and I stood side by side, blankly watching the door creak open.

The men smirked at us as we stood there stiffly.

I glared at Ricardo, who was grinning broadly.

“I’m going home now.”

“Are you sulking~?”

The senior chuckled.

I answered flatly.

“Yes.”

“Sorry~. I’ll buy you dinner, so cheer up~.”

“Make Lexic noodles for me.”

This was my chance.

“I got the recipe.”

The senior didn’t like that.

He didn’t like it, but he did promise to make it for me next time. If I prepared all the ingredients, he said he’d follow the recipe and cook it.

The moment he answered indifferently, I beamed.

“Thank you!”

Ska burst out laughing.

Jonathan shot me a look asking if I still liked those noodles. I ignored the reaction.

Poor people who don’t know how good Lexic noodles are.

We left the training room in high spirits. Then the three seniors and I went to a nearby place for dinner. After a fierce argument over the menu among the three men—each of them had drastically different tastes—a steakhouse was chosen.

It was more than satisfying for me, though it was probably twenty percent lacking for Jonathan, Ska, and Ricardo. After dinner, we headed home.

On the way back, I sent Ami a message.

[Me: So I made up with my sunbae after all that!]

I added the dancing sheep emoticon Ami had sent earlier.

She replied quickly.

Briefly.

[Ami: Kkuzzeok-i.]

What does that mean?

[Ami: Anyway, good job. Your break’s almost over, so get some proper rest, Hilde. Yehyeon-oppa will ➤ NоvеⅠight ➤ (Read more on our source) be calling you soon.]

So I did.

I slept, and the next day I cleared my head and rested properly.

And just like that, my long break finally came to an end.

It was time to go back out.