Black Badger

And then—what happened after that?

A brutal headache came crashing down on me.

But I didn’t need to rummage through the blank stretch of time for long.

As if it had read my intent, the memories that followed surged back in all at once.

The things that happened after my memories were torn away.

‘You awake?’

Cecil, in the end, did exactly what she had wanted to do.

At first, she erased only part of my memories.

Fragments that weren’t long, but were fatal to me.

Watching from her point of view, I understood.

The very first thing Cecil erased was my memory of the final moment of the First War.

‘Cecil?’

Because it was such an important memory, the me inside her memories was completely dazed.

‘How did I end up here, anyway?’

The moment Rei’s presence vanished.

The scene where Kyle and I Transferred in our final moment—both evaporated from my mind.

Cecil lied, her voice heavy with depression.

‘I don’t know. At some point, you just appeared here. You couldn’t remember the details either.’

I was confused, but I believed her.

I had no choice but to believe her. She had even cut away the memory of us arguing back and forth—me insisting she never erase my memories.

As the scenes continued, I began to understand, at least a little, why she had gone that far.

Just as Cecil said, there were times when I sank deep inside myself.

I would stop for no reason, stand still for a long while, unable to move.

‘Still, after erasing it, the frequency really dropped. Before, I was afraid you’d slip into hibernation like this and never wake up....’

‘What frequency?’

‘It’s time to sleep, Hilde.’

Cecil dodged the question and tugged me along.

‘You said you’d sleep regularly.’

‘Feels like you’re putting me to sleep for too long. Wake me up at an appropriate time.’

‘I am waking you up at the appropriate time.’

At some point, we began sleeping in turns, like taking watch.

So I continued clearing the ruins without much suspicion, and when Cecil told me to sleep, I went to sleep. I never once imagined that, while I slept, she was slowly erasing my memories.

From the moment I fell asleep, the mage chanted spells, breaking out in cold sweat.

Staring at a tightly woven carpet, trying to remove just a single thread without ruining the pattern—how could that ever be easy work?

But thanks to her meticulous skill, the memories were erased smoothly, starting with the worst ones.

Up to a certain point.

‘Cecil.’

One day, the moment I opened my eyes, I spoke.

‘What are you doing while I’m asleep?’

Cecil’s vision froze dead.

Because it was her memory, I couldn’t see her expression—but I could tell she was utterly shaken.

The me in those memories didn’t get angry.

I just stared blankly into the air and muttered.

‘Erasing memories without being noticed isn’t an easy task, either.’

My voice was completely drained of emotion.

‘I was wondering why I suddenly couldn’t shoot a gun.’

After sitting down amid the ruins, I stared into empty space for a long time.

‘There’s no reason the Ice Empress’s death should weigh on me. I couldn’t understand the me inside my own memories, so I thought about it for a long while.’

‘Hilde.’

‘It feels like someone was shot and died.’

I didn’t hear Cecil’s trembling voice at all.

‘Who was it?’

The eyes of the me in those memories rolled slowly.

I didn’t turn my head—only my eyes moved, as if I were holding back anger.

‘Cecil. Who was it?’

Cecil never answered.

Her stubbornness was almost admirable. I even added, with a sigh, that I wouldn’t get angry if she told me—but the mage remained unyielding.

She closed her eyes, opened them again, and answered in a voice so strained it sounded like she might choke on fear.

‘When your condition improves... when we find an exit, or when things get even a little better, I’ll restore everything, I promise.’

‘I’d like you to restore it now.’

‘And then what—am I supposed to just watch you turn more and more into a doll?’

Cecil began to cry.

‘Hilde, this world twists even perfectly normal people. I can feel myself getting warped already. What if you end up as nothing but a shell that can’t move? They said most people do. You’ve seen it sometimes too. People who don’t just become dolls, but end up petrified statues, coated in the smoke of debris.’

Well... it really was a chilling sight.

As Cecil and I overturned the monochrome world, we often came across people who had gone mad—and then stiffened. Those who had broken down into something like husks. It was like looking at a snake’s discarded skin.

The most terrifying part was that they were breathing.

Biologically alive, yet impossible to call alive.

It was enough to scare anyone....

Cecil couldn’t even speak properly—she just cried.

After a long while, I sighed and stood up.

There was nothing more that could be done.

Even if I demanded my memories back, Cecil wouldn’t have relented, and we could always fight it out after finding an exit.

They say the road to hell is paved with good intentions....

‘I’m not going to sleep anymore.’

Leaving the sobbing Cecil behind, I disappeared beyond her field of view.

***

Time passed again.

So much time that my fingers were rubbed raw from digging through ruins.

Throughout that long stretch, Cecil never cast a spell on me. And I never asked for my lost memories back. We just searched for an exit in silence.

It was around then that it happened.

Still no exit in sight, and the bizarre world’s inhabitants showing no sign of returning.

Someone appeared.

While I was absorbed in the memories I had discovered.

Simon Diamond stared blankly ahead.

‘Where is this?’

He muttered in the common tongue.

‘What is this?’

Simon and Cecil didn’t meet each other at the same time.

Cecil discovered the wandering Simon Diamond first.

Sensing something strange, she secretly went to check the unfamiliar presence. Approaching like a cat, Cecil hid behind the ruins and observed the man stumbling around in confusion.

She remained silent until Simon Diamond, sniffling and wandering aimlessly, finally collapsed from exhaustion.

Only after the mysterious man buried his head between his knees did Cecil cautiously close the distance.

Then she put him to sleep and extracted his memories.

She needed to confirm whether he was dangerous—and whether he held any information that might help....

That was how Cecil saw Earth after the First War ended.

Center Core, and the vanished borders.

A world where even the Second War had ended, ~Nоvеl𝕚ght~ and children who knew nothing of war were growing up.

‘Huh?’

Cecil was shocked as she looked through Simon Diamond’s memories.

‘What about Kyle?’

He didn’t seem to be there.

Even though it was clear this man came from a world where Hildebert and Kyle had waged war.

Had he not been treated?

Had she misjudged?

Or had he failed to recover fully and was unable to move?

Or perhaps—just as Hilde wished—he had truly blended into human society.

Without seeking revenge against humans or against their kin who had split over differences of opinion....

For whatever reason, humans seemed to be living what looked, at a glance, like peaceful daily lives.

Cecil couldn’t confirm the faces of those presumed to be kin within Simon’s memories, but....

Contrary to the peaceful everyday scenes unfolding in those memories, Cecil’s face gradually drained of color.

Her body froze for a long time, struck by deep shock.

‘What if Hilde sees this and decides he doesn’t want to live anymore again?’

That was the mage’s first thought.

Her golden eyes trembled anxiously.

‘Even if he goes back... what if he can’t adapt? If his memories return....’

In a world where she herself would no longer have anything special to do.

‘What if he can’t find a reason to live?’

Murmuring, Cecil covered her face with her palms.

Simon slept soundly.

That was their first meeting.

***

Cecil never told me what she saw through Simon Diamond’s memories.

She hid Simon’s very existence with uncanny precision. Casting a silencing spell around Simon and guiding us in opposite directions would have been easy enough.

After separating us, she waited for the right timing.

A chance to ask a specific question.

‘Hilde.’

Not long after, when that chance came, Cecil asked casually, as if it meant nothing.

‘If, right now, everyone in the place you came from is living without the threat of war, what would you do?’

And I answered that question wrong.

Who could have imagined that, upon hearing my answer, Cecil would make such a drastic move?

I was so focused on my goal that I couldn’t even spare a thought for anything else....

At the time, I turned my head with a puzzled expression.

Then I smiled lightly.

‘Then it’d be nice. No need to go through all this trouble, right?’

So absorbed in the goal of finding the exit, I didn’t even consider how Cecil might react.

It was an honest answer, spoken without deep thought.

‘That’s a happy ending, in its own way.’

***

‘A happy ending, my ass.’

Cecil whimpered as she looked down at me, fast asleep.

‘Just start over from the beginning.’

She made a hard decision.

To prepare for the worst possible outcome, she chose something no one could have anticipated.

A milky-white sphere formed in her small, slender hand.

A band of runes, written in an ancient tongue, coiled around the sphere.

A powerful spell of oblivion.

‘Like Kysis said—start from a blank slate and create everything you’ll lose all over again.’

With all regret, all mistakes, all sorrow forgotten.

Because no matter where you fall, you’re someone worthy of being loved.

You will surely be loved again—and love again.

You’ll gain so many things to lose.

Through tears, Cecil chanted the massive spell of oblivion.

She wished that this time, I could live thinking only of myself, and prayed that I would forget everything and be happy.

Where someone leaves, someone new will surely come.

Someday, it would all be okay....

‘Oblivion will be a blessing.’

A teardrop fell onto my cheek.

‘Goodbye, Hildebert.’

My vision was swallowed by blinding light.

***

In the fragments of memory that followed, the me who appeared looked a little different.

With a vaguely dazed expression, I rose from where I’d been sleeping and looked around.

Cecil observed me closely.

For a while, I silently took in the ash-gray world.

Then, slowly, I turned my head toward Cecil.

When our eyes met, I smiled awkwardly.

‘Hello.’

Rubbing my neck, I asked,

‘Excuse me, but where am I?’

As I spoke, I glanced around.

Cecil didn’t answer, but I didn’t mind.

‘What was I doing?’

Once again, Cecil didn’t answer.

She probably couldn’t. Her throat was tight.

But with most of my memories gone, I failed to notice her strange reaction. I just wandered around, my face filled with question marks.

After a long while, I muttered in a puzzled voice.

‘I feel like I was looking for an exit.’

Cecil’s vision wavered.

‘Where is it?’

My brows drew together.

‘There should be an exit somewhere.’

I began overturning the ruins on the ground.

‘I need to go back quickly....’

Cecil, who had been sitting atop the ruins, stood up.

From her higher vantage point, she watched me dig through the ruins for a long time.

Only after watching, painfully long, did she finally break the silence.

‘Do you still want to keep looking for the exit?’

I twisted my body, met her gaze, and answered.

‘Yes.’

‘Even though you don’t remember who you need to return to?’

A question that failed to completely conceal admiration, astonishment, and sorrow.

I couldn’t read the many emotions layered in her voice.

‘Yes. It’s strange. I don’t remember, but I feel like I have to go back.’

Instead, I smiled faintly.

I was smiling, but my tone was firm.

‘I intend to return. No matter what.’

‘You might not need to return to that place.’

‘No. There’s something I need to do when I go back.’

A faint crease formed between my brows.

‘I don’t remember what it was, though.’

I couldn’t recall who I needed to go to, either.

‘But I’m sure I’ll remember once I’m back.’

I turned back to the ruins.

And resumed searching for the exit.

***

BAAAANG!

My body was thrown back.

Rolling across the ground before coming to a stop, I propped my sword upright and pushed myself up to a seated position.

The smell of wind mixed with pulverized concrete.

Blinking, I looked at the flowers—and at Cecil, rampaging out of control—when someone approached from the side.

He came almost crawling, then stopped beside my knee.

Yoow cried without lifting his head.

Tears dripped, one by one, onto my knee.

“I’m sorry....”

My subordinate choked out the words.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry....”

I gently placed my hand on Yoow’s head.

Quietly, I looked down at his finely trembling body.

The reason I had struggled so desperately to return.

Only now did I finally offer a belated apology.

“I’m the one who’s sorry for being late.”

Yoow wept bitterly.