Black Badger

“Truly sharp, aren’t you.”

I didn’t know why I was suddenly acting like this. I hadn’t been like this before. But ever since remembering my last moment with Kyle, I’d become this way.

I felt a little better now. Maybe I could look in the mirror?

I was watching Kairos when I abruptly turned my head toward the mirror attached beside the shoe cabinet.

Ah.

“I’ll try again.”

The moment I saw my reflection, I turned my head away instinctively, disgusted.

Then my eyes met Kairos’s.

I spoke quietly to the handler staring at me.

“I think it’ll be fine if I try again.”

I looked.

3.

2....

1!

“There!”

I shouted while staring at the blurry reflection.

“I can look now!”

“Captain.”

Just the tone of his voice told me I was about to get lectured.

I turned toward Kairos.

“What?”

“Tell me what changed.”

“...Mm. I went to receive Yvon’s sword.”

“Can you tell me more? You promised, remember? You’d tell me everything if something happened.”

A promise I should never have made.

If he hadn’t discovered my aversion to absorption, I never would’ve made that promise. And I couldn’t go back on my word now.

I chewed on my lip and explained everything that had happened yesterday.

Kairos listened without any change in expression.

He stood by the entrance with his arms crossed, and when I finished, he uncrossed his arms and grabbed my arm.

He pulled me back inside the apartment.

“What are you doing? I’m going to have lunch with Ami.”

“You’ll still be on time. Don’t worry. Take off your shoes and come up for a moment.”

He said it gently, and that made it hard to refuse.

I took off my shoes and stepped inside, and Kairos grinned.

What...?

“I can roughly guess why you’re avoiding the mirror.”

“Yeah? Why do you think?”

“You can’t stand seeing your own face, can you? I know how close you were to Kyle. You said those memories came back—of stabbing him. It would be strange not to have PTSD.”

“But I went fully prepared. I faced Kyle while filled with resentment.”

“You said you remembered him dying. You said you even recalled the sensation of driving your blade into his heart.”

I couldn’t deny it, so I nodded.

Kairos didn’t embrace me like Ami. He didn’t bite his lip like Yehyeon. He didn’t frown like Ricardo and shove me inside to rest.

Instead, in his usual calm tone, he said:

“Even if you were prepared, I doubt you ever truly hated Kyle enough to treat him as a mortal enemy. You’re also not someone who’s good at shifting blame onto others. You must be a mess inside.”

“If I face him again, I’ll still put a sword through his heart. I have no regrets about standing against them.”

“I know.”

The handler confirmed gently.

“But that and this are separate issues. It seems you’re suffering pretty severe self-loathing right now.”

Am I?

I wasn’t sure. I’d been avoiding thinking too deeply about why I didn’t want to see a mirror this morning.

If I just ate lunch with Ami, had tea with Yehyeon, spent time with the seniors—wouldn’t I feel better eventually? I could still look at car mirrors and side mirrors, so this shouldn’t be a big issue.

As I turned my head to tell him that, Kairos’s soft smile came into view.

What was that suspicious smile?

“Captain.”

“...Why are you calling me that like that.”

“If I leave you alone, that wound will fester. Will you let me treat you?”

Treat me?

“What treatment?”

“Something I used to do for familiars whose self-esteem had dropped. If you’re okay with it, I’d like to try.”

“You really keep treating me like a monster.”

I answered in disbelief, and he simply smiled in a circle.

“...What treatment.”

“Emotional transfer.”

My body jolted before I realized it.

Kairos grabbed my arm as I tried to bolt toward the entrance.

Why was his grip that strong?

I stopped struggling, realizing I wouldn’t escape.

So that was why he made me take off my shoes and come inside. I snapped my head away and glared at the handler grinning at me.

“Stop bringing that up!”

“I’m not asking you to do it. I’m asking if I can do it to you.”

“You—why would you even want to do that to me?”

“Very much. If you’ll just allow it, right now.”

Unbelievable.

Were there handlers among his old fans who casually did emotional transfers? Was that why he was this open about it? Maybe I was more conservative than others, but by my standards Kairos was excessively open.

Rei had been conservative because he was a noble; Kysis eagerly accepted emotions but never bared his own. And Kyle—he wasn’t as strict as I was, but he would never behave like Kairos...

I didn’t know anymore.

Suddenly I felt drained.

Fine. Whatever happens, happens.

“Yeah, sure. Do whatever you want.”

“Oh!”

The handler beamed.

“Thank you! I’ve never done this to a human before.”

“...Wait.”

I was too stunned to speak.

“You’ve never even done it to a human, and you call it treatment....”

The moment I spoke, the emotions hit me.

Not malice—something else entirely. I was used to receiving hostility, but it had been ages since I’d received anything else.

Why did it feel this heavy?

Heat rose to my face. If it had been reverence, respect, or loyalty, it would’ve been easier. Some citizens of the Empire used to throw that at me without hesitation.

But this... this was too personal. Too heavy.

I stepped back once. When the transfer didn’t stop, I shouted urgently:

“Stop!”

Kairos obeyed immediately.

Freed from the crashing tide of emotions, I covered my face with one hand.

After a long moment, I spoke.

“Why do you like me that much?”

“You only realized now?”

Only now.

And I hadn’t realized it was that much.

I looked at Kairos, trying to hide my burned-red face. He was the one who had revealed his emotions, yet he only smiled, bright-faced and unbothered.

Maybe you need this level of shamelessness to become a superstar.

“First of all... thank you. Really.”

“You’re welcome!”

“But... is this really a treatment?”

I asked to hide my embarrassment, and Kairos laughed boldly.

“In the future, the emotions you just felt will become your support. Even if it seems useless right now.”

“Kairos. I wasn’t saying your feelings are useless.”

I realized I’d misspoken and explained seriously.

“I know.”

“And when I told you to stop earlier, it wasn’t because it was horrible. I just... grew up conservative....”

“I didn’t misunderstand. Don’t worry.”

Then Kairos said we should leave now, and walked toward the entrance.

Abrupt shifts—so like him.

Still feeling overheated, I trailed after him.

Today it was the black sedan.

I got into the passenger seat and fastened my seatbelt. Leaning back, I stared blankly out the window, still overwhelmed by the lingering aftereffects of the transfer.

With my head resting against the glass, unmoving, the handler who’d started the engine murmured as if to himself:

“Sometimes ◈ Nоvеlіgһт ◈ (Continue reading) I pity humans.”

“What?”

“That they can never truly know what the other feels.”

The garage door opened and the car rolled out.

“That they can never fully understand another’s emotions; that they may never feel genuine affection and goodwill like this.”

The engine’s low echo filled the cabin.

I mulled over his words in long silence.

***

I ate tacos with Ami. And a burrito.

They taste better with cilantro on top.

Everyone at the table liked cilantro, so we piled it on generously. As I enjoyed the strong flavor, I suddenly thought of Lexic noodles.

I hoped Bobby would contact me soon.

“They found it? That’s kinda amazing,” Ami said as she bit into her shrimp taco.

“It’s also amazing that you like that stuff that much.”

“It’s really good. I think about it every time I eat other noodles.”

Kairos and Ami seemed to be getting along.

Ami said that even when she pushed him hard during training, Kairos followed well. Good stamina, good instincts. She was more by-the-book than I expected. She said she was doing everything—shooting, airborne drills, everything—in proper textbook form.

While eating tacos, I listened to stories about how Kairos was adapting as a rookie.

Once she finished, I explained Yoow to Ami. I said that if today’s attempt didn’t work, I’d call the Personnel Director tomorrow. Ami nodded.

“Hey, can you ask him something for me?”

“Ask Yoow? What should I ask?”

“Ask if I looked like I was the closest to Hilde.”

Ami said this in a perfectly serious voice.

“Check with him if he targeted me first because I looked like Hilde’s closest human friend.”

......

When I agreed, she gave a bright smile and devoured her taco with renewed enthusiasm.

After that, we went our separate ways—Kairos and I returned to the neighborhood.

When we got back to the cabin, Deltei and Igor were there. They said Yoow was curled up on the top bunk.

I didn’t delay. At 2 p.m., I opened the bottle.

“You’re starting now?”

Deltei stared at the plum wine bottle in disbelief.

“In broad daylight?”

Igor said nothing. Instead, he happily fetched alcohol that had been hidden in the corner of the cabin. I’d never told him we had any, but he already knew where it was—that was so typically Igor.

He loved alcohol more than anyone, so of course he wouldn’t dislike day drinking.

“We don’t have time.”

I poured plum wine into a glass and drank it in one go.

I didn’t bother offering it to Yoow. He would refuse anyway. Instead, I sat across from Igor at the small wooden table and kept drinking with him.

Deltei stared at us like we were uncivilized heathens. We ignored her.

Igor could drink as much as I could—perfect drinking partner. We didn’t even need snacks. I took out some nachos from the shelf just to be polite, but neither of us really touched them.

I drank steadily.

I needed to get tipsy quickly—enough that Yoow’s guard would soften.

I needed to drink until rationality slipped.

Drink until...

***

Ricardo was smoking with Ska on the headquarters rooftop.

Jonathan Kudo had run away again. Earlier today, they’d grabbed him with Ska and lectured him. As always, he stood there silently, then slipped away the moment he got the chance.

But he had lasted longer than last time.

His stubborn eyes seemed clouded with guilt. His hesitation made his gaze waver. To the two men, that alone was remarkable progress.

They were discussing when to schedule his next lecture—

Until Hildebert called.

“Whyyy~.”

Ricardo exhaled a long plume of smoke and tapped the cigarette over the ashtray.

“Did you call just to say hi again~?”

[Ric.]

A familiar voice leaked through the phone.

Hildebert Taleb’s voice. The rookie who, for various reasons, gave him constant concern.

The rookie who had called a few days ago for a strange reason before abruptly hanging up.

But unless something serious was happening, this rookie never called first. Yet today, he had.

Ricardo focused, listening carefully to the faint, half-asleep-sounding voice mixed with wind.

[Gnocchi was so good....]

Ricardo’s eyebrows shot up.

“What?”

[Gnocchi.... What you made last time was really good.... I suddenly remembered it and wanted to thank you.... I think I didn’t properly say it....]

His voice was melting.

[How do you cook so well....]

Ricardo pulled the phone away from his ear.

He stared at the screen with his green eyes.

It really was a call from "Hildebert Taleb."

Ska, listening carefully while smoking, craned his neck forward.

“Hilde, right?”

Ricardo didn’t answer. He lifted the phone back to his ear.

“Why are you calling.... Where are you?”

[In the cabin.... Eating nachos with my subordinate.... I was bragging about how good your pasta and gnocchi were.... Especially the gnocchi, I asked you to make it and you really did, so I bragged, but he wouldn’t listen.... Doesn’t listen to people.... How do you make that anyway.... So chewy and perfect.... Lexic noodle level....]

“You’re drunk?”

Ricardo lowered the cigarette he was about to smoke, raising his voice.

“Did you start day drinking or what~? And stop bringing up that cheap noodle restaurant already?”

[Lexic is good....]

Hilde muttered, sounding dejected.

Ricardo let out a quiet laugh without meaning to.

He listened for a while as Hilde lamented: “Whenever people say Lexic noodles aren’t good, it hurts me a little. There can’t be such varied tastes in the world. Everyone should love Lexic noodles,” and so on—nonsense he’d never expected to hear.

Finally, Ricardo cut him off.

“How much did you drink?”

[One bottle of plum wine.... It’s yummy....]

“You get like this after one bottle~? You’re a heavy drinker, aren’t you? You sure you’re in the cabin?”

[We always get like this after plum wine....]

His sentences were getting short.

[Thank you for always taking care of me.... I feel like I only ever receive.... I wanted to say thank you.... I really like you, senior....]

“...That’s nice to hear~. But I don’t think you’re sober at all~.... You’re really at the cabin, yeah?”

[I need to call Ami now....]

Hildebert spoke only what he wanted to say.

[Ami asked me to ask something....]

Click.

The call ended.

Beep— beep— beep.

Ricardo let out a quiet, disbelieving laugh. He put the cigarette between his lips and stared at the phone showing “call ended.”

It wasn’t until Ska blinked and asked, “Hilde’s drunk?” that he reacted.

Ricardo gave a lazy nod and said, “I’m going~,” before heading toward the underground parking lot.

***

Ami picked up Hilde’s call.

“Hilde?”

[Ami....]

A strained voice.

[I asked.... He didn’t pick you first because you seemed closest to me....]

“Ugh.”

Ami stopped walking in shock.

She froze in the corridor of the lab, widening her eyes and whipping her head around before quickly stepping into a less crowded corner.

Covering her phone with her hand, she asked:

“Then why did he pick me?”

[Because....]

Hilde’s voice wavered oddly.

[Unlike Ricardo and Yun....]

A short silence.

[You... had some openings....]

“HUH?!”

Ami took a massive psychic hit.

“What did you say?!”

[Ricardo and.... Yun.... don’t have many openings he could slip through....]

Hilde mumbled on.

[So.... among the three of you, Ami seemed the most possible.... He chose the target with the highest chance of success.... The easiest one of the three.... That’s what he said, that cowardly stuff....]

“That’s nonsense!”

Ami was devastated.

“You’re saying I’m weaker than those two?!”

She thought the three of them had almost identical skill levels.

If she had to rank them, she secretly believed she was the strongest of the three!

And she had been sure she looked like Hilde’s closest friend, which was why she’d been chosen first!

Blindsided by overwhelming shock, Ami couldn’t speak.

She stood there, mouth wide open, frozen in place.