World's Best Protagonist [BL]

"Then, one time while I was so exhausted, and I allowed her to come into my Sanctum... I fell asleep during the counseling..."

I heard him gasp loudly as if he was pulling the courage to continue from the depths of the ground. I squeezed his hand, but doing so only evoked a moan from me. Frustrated and ashamed of hearing myself, I pulled his arm, trying to tear his hand away from me.

I can do this alone!

"I was woken up when I felt something heavy pressed on me and...there she was, already climbing on top of me, caressing my naked chest..."

I grunted heavily after realizing I did not voice it out. Thus, Claude’s hand was still doing the job, while mine froze from the shock. I grabbed his hand again, looking back at him, and shaking my head repeatedly.

"S–Stop..."

"That day, I almost killed her. She suffered injuries. But the funny thing was, I was the one incarcerated. Minders losing their minds because of contaminated energy is reasonable, and Seekers, instead of taking advantage of them, should help them at all costs."

Oh, god. Please, stop him. I’m getting closer!

"Yet after getting released from probation, that despicable woman still dares to linger around me...showing no remorse, no apology. She sickens me."

A repressed moan escaped my lips while my head jerked backward, my eyes hazy and half-lidded. I gasped for air and tried to slow down the rapid beating of my heart.

"After that, she—"

"I told you to stop already." My head hastily spun to him. He clearly was having trouble sharing this with me. He could have told me something else. I just needed him to talk to distract me after all.

I didn’t want to pry on his past, peel the scabs on his wounds, and make him remember how he got them again.

The sensation of the sticky fluid trickling down my skin brought me back to my senses. I almost screamed after my head cleared and watched my wet hand with horror.

What have I done?!

"I-I’ve been meaning to ask this..." I uttered, completely astounded at the turn of events.

"What?" Claude answered after clearing his throat. His hand had already let me go, and was now just resting on my thigh like it was the normal thing to do.

Or was he just using my pants to wipe my semen?

I inhaled very deeply, ready to throw hands or strangle someone if he gave the wrong answer.

"What’s the difference in releasing it through peeing than through something like this?" I bit my lower lip hard. I don’t want to think that I did this just because I was tempted, or because of something else.

My stubborn self wants to justify this embarrassing scene. My gaze moved down to my fly, and I just knew my face exploded again after seeing my member twitching, ready for take two.

I still felt hot. The dizziness subsided, and my mind cleared a bit, but I could still feel that not everything was released. It was because, on top of absorbing the captain’s dark energy, I also had to discharge my own. I now feel the cons of being both a Minder and a Seeker.

I clamped my hands on it as fast as lightning, and then I shifted away from Claude. Once is enough. Twice, I’m going to dig a grave right in his backyard.

"You didn’t read the book—"

"Ugh. I did. My head’s just...just..." Just beginning to convince my body to move and do it again. I knocked my forehead with my wrist, trying to remember what was in the book.

"The more intense your emotions are, the more effective it is."

"I can do it while peeing too."

"How? Cry while you pee? Force yourself to weep mournfully over your little friend?"

I choked at his words. How dare he? My size is just normal! I slapped his hand away.

Then, I quickly stood and headed to the bathroom. I almost stumbled on the floor because I was pulling my pants up as I walked. Once I saw my reflection in the mirror, I wanted to smack it, but I just knew once Claude heard the breaking, he’d rush inside.

Not to check whether the mirror was salvageable, but to see if I was turning to the extreme way of releasing contaminated energy—bloodletting. But honestly, cutting myself and letting my blood flow doesn’t elicit stronger emotions in me than jerking off to another guy’s hand.

My face scrunched after I recalled what happened again. Looking down, I grumbled loudly.

"Damn it, Jade. Get it over with."

Who the hell even discovered or invented these absurd, ridiculous, stupid, shameful ways of releasing contaminated energy?!

I want to drag that person out and have a talk with them. Although it was effective, some people don’t have the courage to do that. Some carry shame more than care for their well-being.

I once bumped into a limping construction worker inside the convenience store, pale and trembling because of the pain in his feet, but he refused to be sent to the hospital. Turned out, his toenail was injured and he left it untreated until it was infested by maggots.

Anyway, after pouring my thoughts and talking to myself for more than half an hour, I was finally done. At fucking last. My arms were sore. My body was cleansed but I felt so drained.

I opened the bathroom and—

"Are you done?"

I pulled the door back, ready to lock myself inside the bathroom until this inconsiderate jerk left. Can’t he see I don’t know how to face him yet? However, the bastard grabbed the door and blocked it with his leg.

I glared at his foot because I couldn’t look up and meet his eyes. I was embarrassed, hell yeah, so fucking much. My cheeks were still hot because of that and what I just finished doing.

"Can you move now?"

"Jade, it’s normal," he casually said. "Minders who are sent on the site to provide quick counseling sometimes end up like that. Seekers help them. The team encountered these kinds of situations already, before you came."

I gritted my teeth. Why did that annoy me so much?