World's Best Protagonist [BL]

I had to press my lips inwardly to wet them, because they turned dry from my loss for words to answer.

Claude looked away. Silence reigned between us. Unlike before, when I was dismayed because he wasn’t speaking to me at all, I was grateful that he didn’t probe any further.

Allen likes me, yes. But is there a need to confirm that to him? Allen’s feelings are his own, and who am I to disclose them to someone else?

"Forget I asked."

My lowered eyes moved up and looked at the captain again. He was moving, slowly lifting himself from the floor and climbing onto the bed.

"It’s enough that you said you’re not together."

"Ah...no. I mean, that’s right."

I instinctively scooched over to the other side of the bed. Since it was a bit small for two people, my back bumped on the wall with just that slight movement.

"And more than enough that you don’t like him."

My brows drew together. His tone held no doubt or uncertainty, which irked me a little. Therefore, I asked, "How can you be certain about that?"

"If you did, then you would have answered yes when I asked if you two are together," he said calmly.

My fingers twitched. He was certain that Allen had feelings for me. I looked away. I couldn’t endure the intensity of his gaze.

"You can do it now."

I turned to him again, confused.

"Counseling."

"So, you want it now?"

"Now that I know I won’t be stepping on someone’s territory, then there’s nothing wrong with it."

"I’m not someone’s property."

"I’m aware of that now."

Claude leaned forward. His eyes dropped to my lap, where my folded hands were.

Then, very slowly, he said in a reassuring tone, "I don’t hate you."

His voice was soft, his gaze moved up from my hands to my face, meeting my eyes.

My brain started doing laps, my heart was doing backflips, and I couldn’t tell which part of me was supposed to be in control anymore.

The atmosphere between us turned into something else. Even when I felt flustered under his unyielding gaze, once I locked mine on those obsidian eyes, I couldn’t look away.

I rarely see my reflection in someone else’s eyes, because I’ve never really gazed right back at them, closely like this. But with him, I had no complaint about the invaded personal space, the eyes drilling into my soul, as if rummaging through my secrets, or the hands that slowly grabbed mine.

"I’m glad. Next time, don’t just jump to conclusions and ask things first."

"Then, can you help me now?"

"You’re grabbing my hands already, do I still have a choice?" I joked. He frowned. I grinned and just began cleansing him.

But then, he suddenly pulled me closer.

My back left the wall’s surface, and my body bumped into his chest. Then, before I could utter a word, let alone gasp, his arms wrapped around my body, his hands cupped the back of my head, and pushed my face above his shoulder.

"H–Hey...this..."

I couldn’t form the right words. I was dumbfounded, staring at the ceiling with wide eyes. I feared that he’d felt the drumming beneath my chest, so I pushed him away, but he refused to tear himself apart from me.

Then, his hoarse voice came through, just below my ear. "Just holding hands is not enough now, Jade. I’ve been enduring it for a while."

My body stiffened.

I tried to think otherwise, but my mind was sending me in that way, where it says he meant otherwise.

"I—I told you so..." I cleared my throat. "This is what you get from acting so stubborn. T–Then, don’t move. I’ll restart."

I hugged him back.

But my mind only went crazier when instead of fighting me, he let me in fully. So, now, apart from feeling his warm breath hitting my neck, sensing his tense muscles relaxing, I could also feel some of his emotions.

It was a lot to take in. He was extremely relieved, a little happy, and...too focused on restraining himself.

My breath hitched.

"Captain..."

"What?"

"You...you’re letting me in too much. Aren’t you afraid—"

"It’s so you won’t be embarrassed. I see it worked. You don’t mind me hugging you so close like this."

I almost cried. What do you mean, I don’t mind?! I’m having a panic attack here! From having my erratic heartbeat getting discovered!

A surge of warmth slapped me on the face, and an image of a smiling golden-haired, blue-eyed kid running along the arched hallways flashed in my mind.

"Captain..." My voice softened. I wasn’t calling out to Claude, but rather naming the boy in the image. No, Captain is not his name. "Claude."

"I’m right here," he softly whispered.

It felt like the wind got knocked out of me.

Claude, the man who wore stoicism like a second skin, who could kill a bear with one hand and still look mildly bored... was unraveling. Not all at once. Not in big, dramatic ways. But in small, terrifyingly honest words that were landing harder than any sword ever could.

He was letting me in, without hesitation, and hopefully, without regret.

I stared at the ceiling, wide-eyed, completely unprepared for this. I’ve only counseled my teammates, so I wouldn’t know, but in all the books I read, I never once came across a Seeker willingly opening a path for a Minder to invade his privacy.

Even if I didn’t want to go there, being a Minder, I was pulled in.

Claude’s eyes finally lifted back to mine. "Are we done?"

I shivered under his gaze. He wasn’t regretting it. Rather, he was determined to show me more if I said we weren’t done yet.

I don’t want to take advantage of that trust. Even though I want to know more, to see more about his world, his life there, his younger self, and everything he was willing to show, I nodded my head slowly.

"Yeah. How do you feel now?"

"Great."

"That’s good to—!"

He yanked me down to the bed. I lay on my side, while my head rested just below his outstretched arm. He was facing me, abandoning his sword on the floor.

"Sleep, Jade. We leave at dawn."

I immediately lowered my head, embarrassed that he caught me staring. I felt a bit hot, but not enough to do ’that’. Which means what he said earlier about enduring something wasn’t about counseling.

I closed my eyes and let sleep drift me away.

That night, I had a harmonious dream. It was about two kids—one was golden-haired and blue-eyed, the other was white haired and blind.

I know for sure it was Claude, the other kid looks familiar, but I have no idea who he was.