World's Best Protagonist [BL]

"How long do you think we’re going to do this?"

My hand reaching the knob of the slightly opened door stopped before it touched. I heard Lexie’s voice inside, but what made me halt was her tone.

She was impatient and burdened. I wondered who she was talking with, so instead of stepping in, I waited outside. This whole ordeal involves me after all. 𝙛𝒓𝓮𝒆𝔀𝒆𝙗𝓷𝒐𝙫𝒆𝙡.𝒄𝓸𝓶

Since Noir and Etienne’s drama, a week has passed and we’ve already entered seven different vortices. Yet we didn’t yield any results.

"Until we find the right ones."

That was Allen’s voice. Of course, who else would she talk about this with other than him? I inhaled a deep breath.

"What about then? What will happen to our team if they return?"

Only the two of them will be left. I probably have to continue searching for otherworlders’ worlds. I remember there are 17 Sanctums built, which means 17 non-Earthlings.

"I haven’t thought about that."

"Oh, yeah. All you think about is—"

"Lexie, you know they’re not forcing us to do this. If you don’t want to, say it and then leave."

My lips thinned. Isn’t that a bit harsh? I never thought Allen could be this inconsiderate and direct. But the way he dismissed Lexie’s concern was too blunt and firm, as though he wouldn’t even let Lexie sway his mind about helping us.

He didn’t need to shoot her down like that. Lexie was confused and...afraid. She was afraid of losing the comrades she spent two years with. However I did wonder where this strong sense of belonging and fear of abandonment came from.

"That’s not what I even meant! Damn you."

Please, don’t fight. If you fight, I will have to step in, and they will find out I’ve been listening. If I walk away despite knowing they are fighting, that will make me a soulless jerk. But I’m sure Allen won’t lay a hand on a woman.

"I’m just reminding you that this isn’t compulsory, Lexie. The captain and the rest don’t even ask us to help them. If you think all these raids are too much, then say so. They will understand if you decide not to—"

"I’ve always thought we were a team. I’ve always seen us that way. How can you think of leaving me behind and going forward?"

Before footsteps approached the door, I was already hiding in the other corner. Lexie stepped out and headed to the training center. I waited until Allen appeared since I had to give him my answer.

I decided to stay in Claude’s Sanctum in the meantime. Patrick also advised me that. Even if I chose to live in that high-end apartment complex, it would still be dangerous. The members of the evil UAO were unknown, as well as their abilities.

In other words, that expensive building’s security won’t guarantee my safety.

That’s a plausible reason, yet it took me a whole yesterday contemplating when to tell Allen. He looked expectant when I said I’d consider it, so breaking the news to him kind of made me anxious.

He will certainly be dismayed and dejected.

I waited another few minutes, gathering my courage to finally tell him my decision, but he still did not exit the room. Should I enter instead? Or maybe don’t bother to tell him at all?

No, that would be cruel. He was waiting, so I should tell him already. I stepped out of the corner, and just in time, Allen emerged from the room; however, an employee approached him, and they talked as they left.

I decided to follow Lexie instead.

I reached the viewing deck where large vibraglasses separated the training field from the building’s interior. She was fighting with dummies, focused, pouring her frustration on them. Her punches were really good. And she was agile and moved just like an assassin.

I occupied one of the chairs and watched her train. After mutilating her dummies using her daggers, she finally stopped and looked up.

I waved at her, smiling awkwardly. She raised an eyebrow, but the dagger in her hands disappeared and later on, she was walking in the hallway, approaching me.

"Are you going to train too?"

I shook my head lightly.

"Then what are you doing here? I rarely see you wandering alone. If you’re not with the captain, you’re with Allen or Noir. So, what made you come here?"

I scratched my chin. Have I been spending too much time with those three? No wonder their faces were easier for me to read than before.

"Do you need counseling?" I asked instead of answering her.

Lexie pulled the chair opposite me. I thought she was going to ask for it, but then she crossed her arms over her chest and leaned on the chair, giving me that suspicious look.

"I didn’t use much of my ability while training."

"I meant not that kind of counseling." Lexie’s brows furrowed. I placed my hands on the table, clasped together, and then I added, "I want us to talk."

She was a bit taken aback. Her mouth slightly fell, perhaps out of astonishment. Yeah, I know. The once unbothered, unconcerned Jade was showing interest in other people’s businesses now.

I, myself, am still in huge disbelief that it’s me, Jade, not some other nosy soul occupying my body. It’s not a bad change, but sometimes it’s too bothersome. I have to act on it now, when before I didn’t see the need to.

Lexie puffed her cheeks as she looked out the training field below. There were only the two of us in the center, so it was a perfect place to talk. I should have brought something to drink before I came here.

I patiently waited until she was ready to open up.

After a long while, Lexie shook her head, seemingly resigned.

"You know something, don’t you?" She glanced at me, smiling sarcastically.

I nodded. Lying will only make her walls up. "I overheard you and Allen talking." Her mouth was shaped like an ’o’. "I’m sorry."

"So, that’s how it is. Well, what was said is said. I can’t take them back. That’s the reason you want to talk, right? You want to say that you also don’t force me to help with this...and that I’m free to go."

"Actually, no," I deadpanned.

Lexie looked perplexed. She wasn’t expecting that. I’m just being honest. I did say I changed from being heedless to nosy, but I didn’t turn stupid.

I gave her an honest look. "Why would I say that when you’re useful? I’d like to keep you helping me, but that would be a stretch when I know how painful it was for you to see the end of it."

Lexie went silent. Her fingers twitched ever so slightly, trying to be tough and calm despite my hitting her mark.

"But whether you stay or leave, that doesn’t change the fact that they have a home to return to, and people they want to see again. The difference is just, that you get to spend time until they go back, or you don’t get to say goodbye. That’s all."

I was hoping that my words would at least make her consider the decision she chose that was clearly displayed in her face, no matter how much she masked it.

But on the team’s first raid the next week, Lexie did not come. Everyone just exchanged glances and understood already.

That raid was a bit tougher on us than usual, nevertheless, we survived. Yet failed again.