These Dangerous Girls Placed Me Into Jeopardy

Confession of the [Stalker (Beginner)]:

When was the first time I noticed Ethan An?

Of course I remember it clearly—it was during the first semester of our freshman year, when they were assigning seats.

I ended up sitting in the seat diagonally behind him.

Honestly, I didn’t care about him at all at first. I didn’t even know his name. I think most of the class was the same.

He had no presence, always cold and distant, didn’t interact with anyone... like a living rebuttal to the idea that “humans are social creatures.” He was always alone.

It made me wonder—doesn’t he ever feel lonely?

Looking back, maybe that was the beginning of when I started to care about him.

But at the time, it was just a passing curiosity—not enough to make me watch him all the time.

If I had to pinpoint a turning point when that interest grew... I guess there wasn’t one.

I was just seated diagonally behind him, and since I liked looking out the window at the blue sky, I happened to glance his way often.

At first, I just noticed small things. Like how he could write with both hands. How he always loaded mechanical pencil lead from the tip. How his rectangular eraser would eventually turn round from use. His notes were always neatly written—like they were printed from a machine. During breaks, he’d be on his phone, usually reading e-books or manga...

I’ve always been someone who notices small details, so it wasn’t strange for me to observe someone who kept entering my line of sight...

But every time I looked at him, I’d notice something new. Eventually, I started to look forward to glancing at him.

Like it was my own little pastime. Just a normal thing, right?

Later on, most classmates found their little groups. People arranged their seats near friends. But our corner was different—because of Ethan and Snowy Jiang, the atmosphere was kind of awkward.

Cherry asked me to switch seats and sit next to her in the front, but I refused.

Why did I refuse? Sitting with a friend would obviously be more fun... Maybe I’d just gotten used to that spot. It wasn’t boring anymore, glancing at him from time to time.

He really is a strange guy.

Whatever he does, he’s meticulous. So precise, like a robot—with fixed patterns and habits.

Just by looking at him, you can feel a strong sense of self.

He doesn’t have the usual confusion or anxiety about the future like most people our age. He’s steady, methodical, and step-by-step, he’s following the plan he’s laid out for himself.

Whenever I look at him, I can’t help but think: That’s how people should live.

And then, gradually, I started caring more.

I learned his name—Ethan An. It was given to him by his grandfather...

I learned that his father is a surgeon, and his mother was a mortician. That’s probably why his personality is so cold...

I learned he has two sisters. Same age as him, but they don’t really interact at school...

I learned a lot about him...

But even then, to me, he was still just an object of observation. Like watching a plant or a small animal—I was just interested in his habits and lifestyle.

That changed again after our last exams, when the results came out.

When my name was called, I went up to get my report card.

Ms. Jane handed me the card and my exam papers. I took one look—my scores were just barely above average. I was ranked exactly 200th.

Ugh... I’d spent too much time thinking about Ethan during class, didn’t focus properly...

“Lan Hua, you dropped in rank! At this rate, you might fall out of the second tier group! You’ve been looking pretty distracted lately—something on your mind?”

Ms. Jane’s comment flustered me.

“Eh? N-not really...”

“Really? Well, if something’s bothering you, you can talk to me, okay?”

“Okay...”

Yeah, like I’d talk to a teacher about this. Haha...

“Ethan~”

I forced a wry smile and started walking back to my seat—when Ms. Jane called the next name.

“Oh.”

Ethan answered coolly, stood up, and walked toward the podium. Watching him approach, I suddenly froze up!

Only after he passed by me did I manage to move again. I kept wondering if my expression had looked weird—did he notice me watching?

“Very nice progress, Ethan! You’re ranked 201st this time! Just a little more and you’ll break into the second tier!”

Ms. Jane stood on the platform and patted his shoulder, clearly pleased.

“Wow, that guy has such crap luck,” muttered Meng Fa, a guy with brown hair and a cocky grin. “Exactly 201st—he must hate the person ahead of him.”

Is that so...?

I couldn’t help glancing back at him. His back was to me. I couldn’t see his face.

Did he feel frustrated? Would he resent me? Would that expressionless face of his... change?

Just imagining that I might be the one to provoke a change in him—it gave me a strange, satisfying feeling... Was that pride?

I sat dumbly back in my seat, still buzzing from that feeling. Something in me stirred. Maybe something had changed inside me.

“Tch.”

“Don’t always act like you don’t care,” Ms. Jane said. “Ethan, if you really applied yourself, I bet you could make it to the top group.”

“You’re giving me too much credit. I’m not that good.”

“Really~?”

“Of course. I’m already trying my best. Besides, evening study sessions are kind of fun.”

So curious. So curious. So very curious.

I was absolutely obsessed with Ethan An.

I couldn’t explain it. He was such a plain guy—totally the opposite of someone like me, a popular, cute girl.

I mean, sure, I’m no legendary beauty like Lillian Ji, but I’m still pretty confident in my looks. I’m a solid Level 5 cute girl—guys turn to look when I walk down the street!

And yet... I bet he doesn’t even know my name.

Little by little, I started wondering what he thought of me.

Maybe... just maybe, he cared about me too?

—I’ve been hiding this feeling for so long, but I can’t hold back anymore. Lan Hua, actually... I... (filtered through girlish fantasy)

Eek~

cough cough... Wait, what am I even thinking...? I’ve never felt like this before... Is he feeling the same?

I spent most of the day looking at him... even more than before. Observing him.

Realizing I was the only one watching him—it filled me with another feeling. Maybe... possession.

I’m the only one looking at him.

I’m the only one paying attention.

I’m the one who knows his worth!

No one else understands him like I do. It’s like a secret shared between me and Ethan An alone... I was drunk on that one-sided possessiveness.

And then last Thursday... that peaceful rhythm I’d grown used to was shattered.

After a brief conversation with Lianbing, he entered the classroom.

He was nearly late that day. Normally, he arrives between 6:54 and 6:56. But that day, he entered exactly at the bell.

I watched him all through the first half of evening study. My conclusion: something must’ve happened afterward.

I know him so well—I saw it immediately.

Something was... different.

He felt different.

Had he grown taller? More mature? Had he changed somehow?

He seemed... more attractive.

My heart started racing.

Eh? What’s happening? What’s this?

He’s going to notice at this rate... but I couldn’t look away. I just wanted to keep watching.

Could it be? Was he planning to confess to someone? From the flustered way he walked in... it felt like he was hesitating.

Maybe he was going to confess.

Maybe—to me?

—Actually, Lan Hua... I’ve never told you this before, but I... I like you! (filtered again by girlish fantasy)

But what happened was... someone confessed, yes.

But it wasn’t Ethan confessing—it was someone else confessing to him...

Why... why was it Lianbing...? (girlhood shatters)

So now... I’m no longer the only one watching him?

Someone else noticed him too. And it’s Lianbing, no less...

I hate it. I hate it so much!

It felt like some sacred place inside me had been violated—it hurt... it hurt so much!

Why did it turn out this way...

It was me! It was me first!

I was the first to care, the first to watch, the first to fall for him!

Eh? Fall for...?

Fall for him... I see now... I love him.

I finally understood the root of that feeling. That curiosity had grown into love—deep, consuming love.

I love him.

I can’t believe it took me this long just to realize that. If I’d figured it out sooner—confessed sooner—Lianbing wouldn’t have beaten me to it.

But... it’s too late for regrets now.

Ethan is returning to school today.

I heard he fell down the stairs and was hospitalized. It gave me time to get my emotions in order.

Yes. I’m ready to confess... I’ll tell him how I feel!

“LanLan”

“Lan Lanru”

“What the hell are you yelling about?! You watched cursed anime again, didn’t you?!”

“Pff—stop hitting me all the time, you violent maniac...”

“What did—you—say~~~?”

Coming down the hall was a girl with headphones and a boy with thick, nerdy glasses. She locked his head in her arms like a wrestler. These two, bickering from the start of the day, were my childhood friends—Cherry Gao and Leon Luo.

“Oh my? You changed your hairstyle today! Took a while, huh? Super cute—heehee, did you finally make up your mind?”

“Hmm? Oh, yeah. I tied my hair into a side ponytail today. Gives off a bright, energetic vibe, right? And since you’ve always been outgoing, Lan Hua, your cuteness level probably doubled.”

“Ugh... way too detailed. Gross.”

“Do you have a problem with me?”

They were bickering again. But my mind was elsewhere.

If I dress up this carefully... maybe he’ll finally take notice?

And then—I’ll confess to him.

I slowed my pace as much as I could in the crowded hallway. It was 6:55. He’d be here soon.

Hoo... Calm down, Lan Hua.

Stay cool.

As I took a deep breath, Cherry patted my shoulder with a sly grin.

“Lan Hua, he’s here.”

My heart clenched violently. I thought I might explode from the pressure!

I closed my eyes, calmed my thundering heart, and then turned my head with determination!

“...❤”

Glasses... that glasses look...

So cute! So freaking cute!

Uwah—UWAAAH—ugh, I wanna take a picture!

I wanna set it as my phone wallpaper!

Hooo... Calm down, heart! Get it together, Lan Hua! It’s not time to celebrate yet—not until he accepts my confession!

“Um... Etha—”

I couldn’t even say his name. He didn’t even look at me.

He walked straight past me... and greeted the person behind me.

“Yo, Leon. You’re here early.”

“Uhh...”

“What’s up? You look constipated.”

“No, um... just, those... files in my cloud storage... I’ll leave ‘em to you, okay?”

“Why are you suddenly talking like you’re leaving a final message?!”

Ah... right...

“......”

To him, I’m just some stranger he passes in the hallway—not even worth saying hi to.

Even Leon ranks above me. I’m not even his friend.

I’ve always been the one watching him.

He’s never watched me.

This is a one-way arrow. We’ve never truly connected...

Why...? Is it ❖ Nоvеl𝚒ght ❖ (Exclusive on Nоvеl𝚒ght) because I don’t know him well enough?

Because I’m not close enough?

What if the one I love doesn’t love me back? Should I give up? Watch him fly into someone else’s arms while I cry in silence, telling myself “as long as he’s happy, it’s fine”?

What a joke! A laughable love, laughable surrender, laughable heartbreak!

This love—this feeling—isn’t strong enough. It’s not deep enough!

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you!

I love your hair, your eyes, every little thing you do... Just seeing you reminds me I’m still alive—I really love you. I love you more than anything in this world!

But it’s not enough. I need something deeper.

That’s right. I need to love you.

I need to feel even more. To give even more of myself.

I’m no longer satisfied just watching.

I want to know more. Learn more. Be closer.

I want to enter your daily life. Become a part of you. Be close enough to feel everything about you...

Title Updated:

[Stalker (Beginner)] → [Stalker (Intermediate)]