Sky Pride

There was a ghostly snicker.

I had my reasons. Now, the cheapest way to do this is to trace out the circulation path for you, then you just follow along.

A few moments later, a new bubble popped up over Tian’s head. It needed fewer acupoints, was less demanding of his control of qi, and Tian thought the whole thing felt a bit more robust. He nodded appreciatively.

“Elevated to the fourth tier?”

Upper Sixth, and that’s me appreciating my own work. Don’t underestimate how sophisticated and powerful spells can be at the Heavenly Realm… compared to the Earthly Realm, anyway. Remember what that little bird said about her realm, and the peacock’s realm? You can consider the Earthly Realm as the literal foundation, a sort of introduction to cultivation. The Heavenly Realm is when you start getting into the more advanced stuff, and the realm above this is when you complete the trifecta of energy control. All of which is still considered the lowest ‘realm’ by the so-called experts on this mountain.

“Vital energy at the earthly realm, qi at the Heavenly, then shen at the…?”

I don’t know what the local yokels call it. The Human Realm, maybe?

Tian blinked. A snooping senior would see his face twisting into a distinctly odd expression. “Heaven, earth and man?”

Daoists are going to daoist. As frameworks for grappling with invisible, intangible universal forces go, it’s not the worst. But yes. Don’t worry about it for now.

“No, I’m actually pretty worried about it.”

There was another thunderous boom, and a long rushing noise. Tian dashed out of his room. A wrist thick line of eye-searing fire blazed in the night, drawing a line parallel to the porch. At the end of it, a flush and wild Liren stood, bringing her spear up into a high ready position.

“Fairy Maiden descends from a fiery star, her war banner covers the earth. Comet Fall!”

Liren flashed, and another line of fire trailed across the garden. It, too, ended with an almighty BANG. This time, Tian could see the brilliant explosion of fire that made the noise.

“Getting the hang of Heavenly combat?” He was quite pleased with how steady his voice sounded.

“No. It shouldn't be like this. The trail of fire is right, but there is supposed to be this glowing ball of fire around me that condenses into a blazing sun on the spearpoint. It’s not supposed to blow up. Well, maybe inside of whoever you stab, but you get my point.”

“Thankfully not.” Tian grinned, then pointed. “I think I see your problem.”

“What? How? You know even less about this art than I do.”

“I know you are using a Heavenly Realm art with an Earthly Realm spear.”

Liren looked down at the snake-bladed spear. Her face shifted repeatedly, from irritation, to wonder, to frustration, to outrage. “I barely used this thing. It’s practically new! Do you know how much we paid for this… this glorified tent pole?”

“I do not, and what’s more, you are wrong. You can't call it a tent pole with that spearhead. It’s more of a gardening tool. It would be just the thing to saw off tree branches if you had to do some pruning. Now, the rope dart Dad had to sell a favor for me to have made, that, I think, would make a prime clothes line. It’s really in immaculate condition.”

“Oh good, that will make it easier to sell, if there was anyone up here low enough level to want it, which there isn’t.” Liren rubbed the spot between her eyebrows. “Are you planning to keep on using a rope dart?”

Tian spread his hands helplessly. “It’s all I know, other than darts. On the other hand, all the reasons I once had for using a rope dart no longer apply. It doesn’t even add reach or flexibility compared to other Heavenly weapons.”

“You could switch over to darts fully.”

“Maybe. But I’m not completely sold on that. I want something with stopping power.”

“Javelin?”

“Eeeh…”

“Saber?” She grinned.

“I’m not that yang. Or crazy.”

They considered things for a minute longer, collectively shrugged, and returned to their rooms. The free spells weren’t very good, but they did have the advantage of being free, and that was Tian’s very favorite price.

For a change of pace, he tried to learn the spell for doing laundry. It was considerably more difficult. Manipulating qi inside of himself was tricky enough. Trying to do it outside of his body was considerably harder. He persisted, and while there were some gains, he couldn’t quite get the hang of it.

The next morning, Tian was once again greeted with Voidcatcher’s floating leaf. The old monster's cultivation ground was much the same as when he first arrived, though now it had fewer small plants littered around.

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

“Congratulations on breaking through to the, heh, Heavenly Realm. I understand it’s quite an achievement for… for the hard workers in the human monastery below. Good job. Good job. It seems our fate ends here. Disciple Dawnlight Lark will come and collect you and your female accomplice presently, and carry you back.”

“Thank you for your diligent teachings, Elder. I have benefitted a great deal, and will use what I have learned here for thousands of years to come.” He meant it too. The toad might be a complete prick and a monster to boot, but he was sincere about medicine.

“And what will you be telling people about the source of your attempts at competence?”

“I met a sick old man in the mountains, known as the Sage of the Grasses. He passed on a few of his teachings before dying in front of my eyes. I buried him in a secret grove, guarded by both a tiger and an eagle, his precious bodhi leaf shaped ivory pendant tucked reverently into his robes.” Tian dutifully recited.

“Mmm. Your memory is adequate, if nothing else. We never quite got around to acupuncture, which is a shame. The book you have on the subject is excitingly wrong. Ah well. You can’t help not being as smart as my dearly departed disciple. I had hoped you might have one percent of his wit, since you don’t have one percent of his looks, but I thought too much.”

Tian carefully controlled a jerk of irritation. “Teacher, you have often spoken of your late disciple and his many fine qualities, but I know neither his name nor his species, nor what he cultivated beyond the medicinal dao. Might I ask his honored name?”

“You may not. I can’t risk those who wronged him catching even a hint of where I am, lest they run away. He was a toad, of course. The finest, handsomest toad you ever saw. When he transformed into a human, he was a perfect six foot one, with features so lovely, the queue of beauties who called on him to “cure their heart palpitations” stretched across two kingdoms. As for what he cultivated, why, though it started with the medicine dao, he was so brilliant, he actually stumbled upon the dao of fate!”

Tian’s eyes opened wide. He had no idea what the dao of fate was, but it sounded impressive. “Amazing!”

“Indeed. He discovered a certain ancient ruin, and from what he recovered there, he was able to deduce his prided Seven Star Constellation-Fixing Life-Death Cultivation True Law. An art of such subtlety and power, he claimed it could even guide him through reincarnation. Once he mastered it, he became truly unrivaled.”

“Incredible. How did he manage to die, then? From what you have told me, he was wronged by many.”

And had wronged many, many, many more, but Tian kept that thought firmly suppressed. Voidcatcher was vengeful of even the slightest slight, and his methods were endless. His teacher’s teachings were mostly about medicine, but his observations on life and acquiring medical resources, and revenge, had been a revelation.

Tian had thought setting fires and robbing houses was the height of criminal ingenuity. He had been naive. He vividly remembered Grandpa Jun yelling “Write that down! Write that down!”

“Alas, yes. He had a single fatal flaw. Avarice. Money, gems, precious weapons, beauties, land, he had to have it all. It was his path, you see. To indulge in vice so utterly, it lost its charm and all hold over him. Ultimately, it led him to cross hands with the young master of a powerful dynasty. He crushed the wretch, naturally, then the silkpants’ big brother, then his father, then his grandfather and his uncles and aunties and the martial guests in their palace, until even the old ancestor in the back mountain emerged, along with twenty nine-tenths-dead lesser ancestors who made up their dao reserves.”

Voidcatcher closed his eyes in pain. “He slaughtered them all and left the palace a smoking ruin, but the accumulated damage was too much. I rushed over; too late. He perished in my arms. He promised he would find me after he reincarnated, that even Granny Meng’s soup wasn’t enough to dissolve the ties between us.”

“Perhaps it simply hasn’t happened yet, Teacher.”

“That is the hope I cling to. Just in case, I clear away his old enemies. All so that when he does return to me, he may do so in safety.”

“Filial. Truly filial. Once again I am humbled and ashamed before Teacher’s great virtue.” Tian sighed. Voidcatcher nodded, accepting the self-evident truth.

A few words and images started connecting in Tian’s mind. “Senior, would the honorable disciple reincarnate as, say, a human?”

“What an awful thing to suggest! He would be a toad, and not any ordinary sort either. Something special. Some special physique. Perhaps a gem toad, or a heartkiller venom toad. Those would be appropriate.”

“I see, I see. And he might not remember everything, being a toad with limited cultivation, but there would be signs. Something to help you find him, and him you.”

“Of course.”

Tian coughed. “Senior, might I invite you to peer into my memories and see who has been resting at my pond, as I cultivated at yours?”

One thing that changed with his ascension to the Heavenly Realm was that he was much more aware of seniors having a peek into his brain. He tried to keep his mind on Old Toad, his fondness for only-legitimate-currency brass coins and the distinctive big dipper pattern on his back.

“That’s not… but those stars… That’s not the Southern Dipper. Celestial Pivot, Celestial Rotating Jade… that’s the Northern dipper!” The giant toad’s dewlap throbbed with emotion, then filled, expanding, Tian quickly slapped his hands over his ears, ready for a deafening croak.

It didn’t come. Instead, the giant toad collapsed in on himself. His flesh and bones condensed, shifted, organs reorganized, the eyes reshaped, hair sprouted from a suddenly distinct head. The transformation took less than a minute, and at the end, the most staggeringly handsome man Tian had ever seen stood before him. A paragon of balanced musculature and gentle form, a strong face with wise eyes, skin as pale as moonlight and lustrous as pearls. Voidcatcher’s every breath, every movement, every sway of his garments, every tiny thing about him seemed simply perfect. Tian wondered if he had really fixed his appearance, or if the last ten years had been him deluding himself. His teacher showed him that he was still painfully ugly.

“I suddenly feel the princess might have come out the winner after meeting Teacher. Four kids that looked at least half as good as this is no loss.”

“It’s him. His reincarnation anyway. The patterns on his skin, his face, his species, all totally different, but that asterism is too specific to ignore. Particularly with the way he responded to eating coins. It can’t be a coincidence. The fact that he is carrying the Northern Dipper instead of the Southern Dipper is concerning, but it is definitely him.”

Voidcatcher looked away for a moment, then faced Tian once more. “As we speak, I’m asking the White Peacock for permission to keep you and your beloved dao companion, the incomparable beauty and young heroine Hong Liren, here in the Holy Land a little while longer. Please, wait here for a bit. I’m going to rush down and collect him. I’ll need to negotiate with Dog Nose, but after you tore off his face in front of the Grandmaster like that, I can’t imagine he wants you back any time soon. Help yourself to some pond water, if you like, but don’t eat anything else until I get back. At all. Including your own food.”

Clouds gathered on the transformed toad’s boots, and he shot into the sky.