Maids VS Apocalypse

"I can’t believe this..." Elya held her stomach as if she was in pain. "One of... one of the most powerful people in Existence... has chunibyo..."

Though the entire room was filled with laughter, Mark felt his mood worsening with each passing second. In his mind he was extending and retracting his hand toward the enchanted spear, fiddling with the idea of equipping it and stabbing the Sergeant right then and there.

’If I enhance it with my Force Field...’

"C’mon folks, let’s not be hard on the lad." Ben finally gave it a rest after almost suffocating himself. "He has every right to think he’s the main character!"

Another wave of laughter shook the room.

"Grizzly is right." Franco wiped the tears that had gathered at the corners of his eyes. "I mean, he has the highest grade System, not to mention a charming heroine!"

Mark turned a glare to the Italian who never went to Italy.

"Lara might be exceptionally cute, but she isn’t my heroine." He said. "She already shut me down for good."

"No way! Really!!?" Alex was momentarily shocked before he turned his gaze to the silver-haired maid. "Then-"

A suffocating pressure fell on the room before he could say anything else. This time it didn’t come from Mark alone but from another source as well.

Both Mark and Elya gazed at their blonde squadmate with wide-open darkness-filled eyes. Alex seemed to get the idea as he reached for the bottle of water that was in front of him.

"haha, it seems I drank a little too much!" He removed the cap with shaky hands. "Maybe I should make some coffee!"

The blonde downed the entire bottle then ran to the kitchen. The pressure was lifted a second later, but the laughter didn’t resume.

"Seriously..." Elya heaved a sigh and glanced at the silver-haired maid. She then clicked her tongue and shifted to Mark. "Newbie, let me give you a little advice." Her eyes narrowed into a sharp glare. "Don’t let it get to your head."

Mark met her gaze and didn’t look away.

"I will keep that in mind-" He hesitated for a moment then added in a most serious tone. "Thank you for the advice, loli-senpai."

Ramsay and Franco choked on their drinks and something fell in the kitchen. Mark reflexively glanced in the direction of the rattling, but when a shadow fell on his face he looked forward and saw a massive slab of metal falling at him.

Petrified, Mark could only watch as death approached. A head of silver hair appeared in his field of vision the next moment and a gust of wind blew through the surroundings.

Lara had stepped in at the very last moment, blocking the massive broad sword with her bare hands coated in the maximum output of her Force Field first.

"Please calm down, Specialist Martin," Lara spoke in an even tone. "Master meant no harm."

"So now you talk?" Elya gritted her teeth and pressed down. "Maybe you should’ve warned your master not to mess with people."

"Master, please apologize,"

The maid’s tone left no space for arguments so Mark instinctively did as she said.

"Y-yeah, I’m sorry. Really."

’She was going for the kill!’

As the color faded from his face, Mark came to a realization. If Lara hadn’t stepped in to save him at that moment he would’ve been cleaved in half.

"Apology not accepted," Elya said, her glare becoming more intense. Despite that, She retracted her sword then made it disappear. "You won’t get a second chance."

"Y-yes ma’am..."

The petite Peace Keeper turned away from him with a "hmph!" and sat back down in her place. Lara gave him an icy cold glare then returned to her seat.

The message got through and he quickly learned his lesson. That was a near-death experience he just went through and Mark had no intention of testing his fate again.

"Kid, I will give you some advice myself." Ramsay placed an arm around his shoulders and spoke in a low tone. "Nobody here likes that one tag so... focus on your maids and leave the other ship to sail, understood?"

Mark shrugged him away.

"You don’t need to tell me." He said. "I’m not a fan of the archetype."

"I feel like you didn’t learn your lesson," Elya said, her left eyebrow twitching.

"C’mon! Just leave him alone!" Ramsay raised his arms in the air. "The kid is the protagonist of this story! Let him do his thing!"

"Protagonist my ass!" Elya shot back. Her anger then shifted back to Mark. "Listen, I don’t care if you’re messed up in the head, just keep your delusions to yourself. We don’t want to hear about them!"

Mark could only frown and turn away. He understood why someone would be angry at him for having grandiose delusions, but he felt that the reaction of his new female squadmate was a bit exaggerated.

"Don’t take it the wrong way, lad. She doesn’t mean any harm." Ben spoke with a wry smile.

"Yeah, she just had some bad experiences with similar people, that’s all," Franco heaved a wistful sigh.

Mark could only furrow his brows, but fortunately for him, the drunk Ramsay was there to court death.

"A bunch of delulus kept trying to get close to her when we were in the academy! They were all convinced she-"

Suddenly going silent, the Sergeant seemed to sober up instantly.

"Well, let’s just say they all got a reality check."

Though he wanted to hear the rest of the story, Mark knew better than to ask. Still, he believed he could imagine what happened.

His first impression of her might have been ruined when she tried to put pineapples on the pizza and when she punched her crush through the wall, but anyone who hadn’t seen that side of her would think she’s an unbelievably cute girl.

Due to her body type, she probably attracted a lot of creeps. That alone would have been a problem, but if you were to add a bunch of weebs who think they were living in a novel into the mix things would only get worse.

Alex returned after some time and brought with him a tray. On top of it was a thermos, a bunch of cups, and a big cake.

The cake seemed to be missing a piece, and just when Mark began to wonder where it went, he saw his maid bring a fork to her mouth and chump at the remaining bite of the portion she took.

"Seriously though, you should take her advice," Franco spoke as he leaned in to grab the cup Alex handed him. "In our line of work, delusions are one of the most common causes of death."