I'm Already the Richest Man, Why Did My System Just Arrive?

The door closed.

Qing Shisan, a single, middle-aged Wandering man; Ji Hong’ou, a respectable married woman; and Pei Gaoya, a house-husband, sat in a circle inside the room.

A single, weak oil lamp flickered in the center of the table, casting their silhouettes in a sinister, wavering light.

The three of them leaned in close, whispering to one another.

Qing Shisan didn’t beat around the bush. He held up three fingers. "Three melons to pick. Three hundred thousand."

Hearing this, Ji Hong’ou’s slender willow brows furrowed. "Three hundred thousand? Is Master Zheng trying to hit the jackpot?"

She thought he meant three hundred thousand per melon.

The kind of price you’d pay to kill someone in the Imperial Palace.

Qing Shisan shook his head. "No, three hundred thousand total."

The respectable woman Ji Hong’ou’s brow unfurrowed, and she smiled. "Oh, so they’re just little melons."

As the saying goes, you get what you pay for.

They knew Master Zheng’s temperament well.

The more money he offered, the more panicked they felt accepting it.

Qing Shisan added, "And they have to be ripe."

The house-husband, Pei Gaoya, chuckled. "Isn’t that easy?"

Qing Shisan asked, "So, are we good?"

Ji Hong’ou giggled charmingly. "The young master has supported us for so many years. We can’t let him waste his money."

Pei Gaoya rubbed his head and laughed heartily. "The Master gave Old Pei here a new lease on life. This debt must be repaid! It absolutely must!"

Qing Shisan was satisfied. "Then it’s settled."

Pei Gaoya interlaced his fingers, cracking his knuckles loudly as he prepared to head out and get to work. CRACK, CRACK.

"Hold on."

Qing Shisan deftly pulled a box out from under the bed. He blew on it with a WHOOSH, sending a cloud of dust into the air that made all three of them cough for a good while.

He opened the box to reveal several sets of pitch-black night gear, neatly folded. Beside them lay a few bracelet-like contraptions.

Pei Gaoya’s face fell, his expression full of disgust. "Can we skip wearing this crap? I wore it once before. The moment I moved, the crotch ripped right open with a RIIIP! I’m not wearing it. I’d rather die than wear it."

Ji Hong’ou was shaking with laughter.

Qing Shisan had already skillfully donned his own specialized night gear, fastening the bracelet-like object to his wrist.

"SHING!"

He pressed a hidden mechanism, and a sharp little blade instantly shot out, gleaming with a cold light under the lamp.

The style of the night gear was interesting, complete with a hood. When Qing Shisan put the hood up, he looked like a shadow. With a mask on, not even God Almighty himself would recognize him.

It took Qing Shisan only a few breaths to get dressed. He consoled Old Pei, "Don’t worry, yours is a custom model. The Master said the size is XXXXL! Don’t forget: Zheng’s Cloth Shop always delivers quality!"

Resigned, Pei Gaoya had no choice but to put it on.

Zheng’s Cloth Shop truly did deliver quality. The fabric was soft and fit him snugly.

"The clothes are one thing, but I’d rather die than use that Sleeve Sword." Pei Gaoya held out his hand, showing his fan-sized palm. "My hands are huge! The first time I tried this piece of junk, I almost sliced off my own ring finger!"

"Really?" Qing Shisan didn’t think so.

’We’re all professionals. How could anyone be so careless?’

The Sleeve Sword shot out with a SHING, retracted with a SHINK, then SHING, out again. In and out, in and out. Qing Shisan was having a blast playing with it.

"See? How could you possibly cut your ring finger!"

Qing Shisan said confidently.

The two men, now dressed in their Assassin night gear, looked over at Ji Hong’ou, who hadn’t moved.

Ji Hong’ou smiled, her eyes narrowing. "Are you two stinking men trying to defile a respectable woman’s innocence?"

The two men sullenly went outside.

Ji Hong’ou changed her clothes. Her lovely figure and beautiful face were now completely hidden within the black robes, leaving only her two bright eyes visible.

Pei Gaoya was in a hurry to leave.

His Madam was at home with the kids. He figured he’d finish this up quick and head home to get a round in.

"Ahem, don’t forget the Master’s instructions," Qing Shisan coughed lightly, reminding him.

The house-husband Pei Gaoya turned back reluctantly and held out his clay-pot-sized fist towards the other two. "I really don’t get what we’re doing this for."

Ji Hong’ou sighed softly. "It must be one of the young master’s quirks."

Qing Shisan said leisurely, "The Master said we have to be ’professional.’ And don’t forget, it’s one hundred thousand per person."

This guy was clearly enjoying himself.

The other two pursed their lips, not thrilled about it, but they didn’t object further.

It was a hundred thousand, after all.

Who would argue with money?

The three clenched their fists and bumped them together.

In that instant, the look in their eyes changed. They chanted in a low voice:

"We are the ’Brotherhood’."

"We are hidden in the night, we long for the Dawn."

"Nothing is true, everything is permitted."

After speaking, the three turned simultaneously. Ji Hong’ou and Qing Shisan leaped onto the wall, while Pei Gaoya simply ducked his head and walked out the door like an honest farmer.

Qing Shisan suddenly said, "Oh, right, Sister Hong’ou, it’s been years, I’ve missed you so. If we finish up early, and that sickly husband of yours isn’t awake..."

Ji Hong’ou knew his penchant for running his mouth. Without turning back, she said, "Get lost."

Qing Shisan shrugged helplessly.

...

「In recent days.」

Inside the Government Office of the Six Gates, everyone was at their wit’s end.

The Zheng Clan’s beatings used to be small-scale skirmishes, the kind of thing you could write off as a dispute between commoners, not a major case.

An incident or two would pop up now and then, and the Six Gates would just turn a blind eye and let it slide. After all, it was a legitimate business based on willing participants.

But ever since the Zheng Family went crazy for some unknown reason and launched their "beat first, pay later" service, the common folk seemed to have found an outlet for all their pent-up neighborhood frustrations.

Before, they couldn’t afford to hire someone for a beating. But now, after the deed was done, they could just claim they weren’t satisfied and refuse to pay.

Your stall is over the line? I’ll hire someone to beat you.

My wife and your husband have been making eyes at each other? I’ll hire someone to beat them and we’ll sort it out later.

Got ripped off at a shop? Immediately call for a beating.

Got bullied by some rich kid on the street? A simple gesture, and a gang of burly men would show up to deliver a beating.

And to make matters worse, these "Beating Men" hired by the Zheng Family were all former local ruffians and gangsters. After they beat someone up, they’d get locked up for a few days according to the law, then the Zheng Family would show up, pay compensation, and apologize.

The victim got their money, the client vented their anger, and the Thugs went to the Government Office with a grin, getting free room and board. It was a win-win-win situation.

In the end, with all this beating going on, the only ones getting hurt were the Six Gates!

How could that maniac surnamed Zheng come up with such a depraved scheme where three parties benefit and one gets screwed?!

「The next morning.」

The sun rose in the east.

CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG CLANG!

The frantic sound of a gong jolted the Imperial City’s Top Divine Hunter, Guo Zifei, from his sleep.

He pushed aside the thick stack of case files on his desk. The spines were all labeled "Zheng Clan Beating Man Assault Case."

Several constables rushed in, straightening their hats as they ran.

"Lord Guo! Lord Guo! This is bad! Something terrible has happened! Something terrible has happened!"

Guo Zifei’s expression darkened. He snapped, "What’s all this ruckus? Is it another beating case?"

"No! Lord Guo! Someone’s dead!"

Guo Zifei’s spirits instantly lifted. His drowsy eyes snapped open, suddenly sharp and focused. "Did the Zheng Family’s Beating Men finally kill someone?"

"No." The constable shook his head, hesitating. "It’s wealthy merchants. They died in their homes."

"Oh?" Guo Zifei’s brow furrowed. With a flick of his cape, he buckled on his sword and strode out of the Government Office. "Let’s go! To the crime scene."

"My lord."

"Hm?"

"Which... which crime scene are we going to?"

Guo Zifei froze. He’d just realized his subordinate had said "they."

"More than one wealthy merchant is dead?"

"Yes, Lord Guo. In total... three are dead."

"!"

...

Qing Shisan slept in until he woke up naturally. Thinking about the one hundred thousand in silver notes in his bag, he wondered where he should go to spend it.

He skillfully got his cart on the road and passed by a residence where a crowd of people had gathered at the gate.

"Need a ride, mister? Zheng’s Express Train, a step ahead of the rest!"

Qing Shisan smiled and pretended to be looking for a fare, a pipe dangling from his lips as he sneakily moved closer to eavesdrop.

At the front of the crowd, the mansion’s gate was missing one of its doors; the other had been smashed to who-knows-where.

The inside was a complete wreck, with a long bloodstain dragged from the entrance all the way in.

The commoners were gossiping animatedly.

"Aiya, the one who died is Master Duan of the ’Fugui Tea House.’ What a horrible death!"

"Must have offended someone he shouldn’t have, right?"

"I heard Master Duan was stuffed into a wall. His family was crying and wailing, trying to pry him out, but they couldn’t manage it."

"Besides Master Duan, all the chickens and ducks in the house are dead. Even the pet bird he kept wasn’t spared."

"What about all his concubines?"

"Strangely enough, the concubines are fine, and the servants are fine. It’s just Master Duan and the chickens and ducks that are dead."

"Aiyo, that’s truly tragic."

"What a waste. Master Duan’s two wives and six concubines are all so beautiful."

Listening to the crowd’s chatter.

Qing Shisan’s eyebrow twitched. He took a long drag from his pipe, called out for fares a few more times, and when no one took him up on it, he slunk away.

"The Imperial City’s Top Divine Hunter Guo Zifei is on the case! All bystanders, clear the area!"

A group of brocade-clad patrolmen arrived swiftly. They all wore uniform attire, with swords at their waists and flying kites embroidered on their clothes.

The Officials had finally, belatedly, arrived.