The Girl in the Hoodie is Mine

Max POV:

I called Jason early in the morning, just to make sure he was still breathing. You know, just in case his witch of a wife had finally ended his existence.

His voice on the phone? Off.

Flat. Dull. Like a man who had seen things. Dark things.

"Bro, you good?" I asked.

"Yeah," came the dead reply.

Liar. He was not fine.

"Is Ella there?" I asked cautiously.

"Nah, she left for work."

The moment those words left his mouth, I ended the call immediately.

Not a goodbye. Not a "see you later, buddy."

Nothing.

I had more important things to do.

Like rounding up Dylan and crashing at Jason’s place.

Did Jason invite us?

No.

Did we care?

Also no.

When I found Dylan, his first concern wasn’t Jason’s well-being.

It was Ella.

"Wait," he narrowed his eyes. "Is the she-devil home?"

I shook my head. "Nah, she left for work."

Dylan let out a breath. "Okay, we can go. But we get in, check on him, and get out before she comes back."

I rolled my eyes. "Dude, why do you sound like we’re dodging an international assassin?"

Dylan crossed his arms. "Because we are. We still are yet to pay for the part we played on the bet thing, remember?"

I cringed. Yeah, we definitely were still in debt.

And Ella?

She never forgets.

So, out of sight, out of mind.

We weren’t ready to pay our dues just yet.

By the time we reached Jason’s place, the door wasn’t even locked.

I exchanged a look with Dylan.

"Bro, you thinking what I’m thinking?"

Dylan nodded. "Yep. He’s either dead inside, or he just doesn’t care anymore."

We walked in cautiously.

And there he was.

Sitting on the couch, staring into space.

Like a man who had lost everything.

Or at least, like a man who had been kneed in the nuts by his own wife.

Jason blinked slowly when he saw us. "Oh. You’re here."

"Yeah," I said, looking around. "And judging by your depressing energy, we got here just in time."

Dylan clapped a hand on Jason’s shoulder. "Bro... blink twice if you need help."

Jason just sighed.

Oh, he was down bad.

I plopped down next to him. "Alright, spill it. What happened?"

Jason rubbed his face tiredly.

"Ella still has the video."

Dylan choked on air. "Dude, you mean to tell me you went through all that, got your balls shattered, and still didn’t get the video deleted?"

Jason grunted in frustration. "It was a tactical error."

I snorted. "More like a tactical disaster."

Dylan shook his head, disappointed. "Man, I can’t believe we’re friends with you."

Jason scowled. "You weren’t there, okay? She—she tricked me."

Dylan raised an eyebrow. "And how exactly did she trick you?"

Jason shifted uncomfortably. "She... called my bluff."

I smirked. "So you kissed her."

Jason grumbled something under his breath.

Dylan leaned in. "What was that?"

Jason sighed. "Three times."

Silence.

Then—

Dylan and I burst out laughing.

"THREE TIMES?!" I gasped between wheezes. "AND SHE STILL DIDN’T DELETE IT?!"

Jason glared. "It was supposed to be a deal! But nooo, she just—she just stood there all smug, refusing to delete it!"

Dylan wiped tears from his eyes. "So what, you thought a fourth kiss was gonna change her mind?"

Jason winced. "I... I may have tried a different tactic."

I leaned in, intrigued. "Do tell."

Jason muttered, "I... started kissing her jaw. Then her neck. Thought if I made it seem like I’d take it further, she’d give in."

Dylan facepalmed.

I just grinned. "Okay, okay, so what happened next?"

Jason took a deep breath.

"She agreed."

Dylan and I exchanged shocked glances.

"Oh shit," Dylan whispered. "Did it actually work?"

Jason’s eye twitched.

"I was fool enough to believe her."

Dylan and I leaned forward, eager. "And?"

Jason winced.

"She kneed me where the sun doesn’t shine."

Dylan and I lost it.

We fell to the floor, howling.

Max: "THIS IS THE BEST THING I’VE HEARD ALL YEAR."

Dylan: "BRO, YOU GOT PLAYED. PLAYED."

Jason: "I hate both of you."

Dylan wiped his eyes. "And here I thought you were the CEO of a billion-dollar company. But no. Turns out, you’re just some poor, helpless husband getting bullied by his wife."

Jason scowled. "She’s not my wife."

I smirked. "Dude. She literally has you wrapped around her finger. You’re doomed."

Jason groaned. "I need a drink."

Dylan nodded. "Yeah, and some ice for your balls."

Max: "And maybe a priest to get rid of Ella’s demon powers."

Jason muttered, "You guys are useless."

Dylan grinned. "And yet, you called us anyway."

Jason grumbled something about "needing better friends," but we all knew he wasn’t getting rid of us anytime soon.

Final Verdict?

Jason is officially his wife’s bitch.

And honestly?

It’s the funniest thing we’ve ever seen.

"Hey, but you still got to kiss her, right?" I nudged Jason, wiggling my eyebrows.

Jason just snorted and chugged his drink like a man trying to drown his regrets.

"Yeah," Dylan smirked. "Not just once—three times."

"And let’s not forget the neck kisses." I added dramatically, holding my chest like I was about to swoon. "Damn, Jason. You really thought you had her."

Jason glared at us like we had personally ruined his life. "Can you both shut up?"

"But it’s hilarious!" Dylan protested. "The way you went from ’I’m gonna delete the video’ to ’please spare my balls’ in record time."

I nodded solemnly. "Truly, one for the history books."

Jason just groaned and covered his face.

Then I remembered something.

"Wait, wait, wait," I sat up straight, a shit-eating grin stretching across my face. "Weren’t you the same guy who swore he’d make Ella fall in love with him before your stupid marriage contract ended?"

Dylan gasped dramatically. "OHHH SHIT, YOU’RE RIGHT."

We both turned to Jason, who suddenly looked like he wanted to throw himself off a cliff.

"Mr. ’I’ll have her wrapped around my finger in no time,’" I mocked.

Dylan joined in, deepening his voice to imitate Jason, "’She won’t stand a chance against me.’"

I smirked. "Oh, buddy. She’s winning."

Jason slammed his glass down. "Okay, first of all—"

"SHE KICKED YOU IN THE BALLS, BRO." Dylan burst out laughing. "I think that’s her way of saying she’s not in love with you."

"More like her way of saying she’d rather kill him first," I snorted.

Jason sighed in pure defeat.

"Dude," I said, shaking my head. "At this rate, you’ll be the one falling for her first."