Love Before Graduation

At night...

I was sitting at the corner of the bed. The blue light from my phone fell on my face like a torch placed on a corpse in a hospital. Subh's name was shining on the screen. The man who had silently wrapped himself in the cloak of disappearance.

I called—why, maybe even I didn't know.

It rang... once... twice... "Hello?"

It wasn't a voice, it was an old wound still being poked.

"Hi... Subh," I said.

"Aira? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine... just wanted to check if you're alive or dead."

He didn't laugh. Neither did I. There was a moment of silence, as if both of us were thinking of our own lies.

"Suhina..." he said.

I rested my head.

"She said, she doesn't feel anything. Then one day, she smiled. Tell me, is this a punishment or mercy?"

I didn't answer. He didn't expect one either.

"Let's meet tomorrow," he said.

"Okay."

The call ended. I sat there. Saying anything now was useless.

He was broken, but there was no darkness in him. It was clear, like the first page of a book of silence.

I called Nami.

"Subh is fine. Just... a little dead in Suhina's love."

"Are you sure?" she asked.

"Yes. If there was something hidden, I would've noticed it first."

"Okay. Now, go to sleep."

"Yeah, you too."

The call ended.

I sat there, folding the bed sheet. I kept thinking —

can a man really change in one night? Or do just the excuses change?

I was convinced that there was nothing strange in Subh. At least not enough for a girl to start sleepwalking at midnight.

But the fear remained —

If not Subh... then who?

Maybe Suhina is crazy. Or maybe, as Manto said —

"हर औरत के अंदर एक गुमनाम कब्र होती है, जिसमें वो हर रात अपनी नींद, अपना यकीन, और कई बार अपना इश्क़ दफ़न कर देती है।"

( translation ------- "Every woman has an unknown grave inside her, where every night she buries her sleep, her faith, and sometimes, her love.")

And I... that night, had dug one more grave.