Love Before Graduation

We were at that point where stories don't end... just some relationships take on silence.

When the bike stopped in front of the cafe, I got off without saying anything and stepped on the road. There was a mild smell of coffee in the air, but now it did not give comfort like it used to. The sounds of the city were being left behind somewhere.

"Will you walk from here... or should I call someone?"

Nami had said, but the concern in her tone could be heard even in the noise.

"I will take a rickshaw," I said lowering my eyes.

She just said 'okay' without saying anything and started the bike.

While leaving, I looked back, she smiled... just a little.

"Message me after reaching home..."

She left a mark while leaving.

And then...

I stood there alone. As if a book had been closed but its smell still remained in my fingers.

And then... a hand stopped time.

Someone's light touch on my shoulder.

I was frozen.

When I turned around, I saw him.

Rei.

The person to whom I had once said, "It feels like a relief to see you..."

And today, seeing him, my heart again started searching for that relief.

"How are you?"

There was a strange, familiar softness in his voice.

"Fine..."

The first word of the lie came out of my lips.

Why am I like this? Why did I hurt him? This question was stirring in my mind, but I tried to hide it directly.

"You?"

"As always," he said, looking at me, as if he wanted to say something else, but some words were stopping him.

We stood silently. There was a lot between us, but nothing was said. As if both of us wanted to ask each other something, but there was no answer to the questions.

"Are you going home?" he asked.

I nodded. "Yes."

He looked towards the road, then looked at me. "Alone? It's quite late."

I paused and said, "It was a group study. It got late."

He ran his hand through his hair and looked at me again, as if he wanted to say something else. "If you don't mind..." He paused. After thinking for a while, he said, "Shall I come with you?"

My heart stopped again for a moment. I was beginning to feel a strange nervousness.

Why is he doing all this? Why now?

"There is no need. I can go alone," I said sternly, as if trying to convince myself.

He became serious. "It doesn't feel good even to think that I should let you go alone."

I looked at him, there was the same old worry in his eyes, that hope that I should feel him close to me. "Why?"

"Because I don't trust these roads right now," he said straight, honest, as if he was expressing his worry in direct words, without any hesitation.

I looked towards the road. It was quiet. Not a single rickshaw was visible. The darkness of the night had swallowed everything.

Maybe he is right. Maybe it would be better to let him come along.

I took a deep breath. "Okay."

He didn't say anything. He just started walking with me, as if someone was accepting his compulsion firmly.

We were walking slowly. So close, yet as if there was a whole world between us. My heart and mind were still caught in the same confusion.

My fist automatically clenched.

You are so bad, Aira. How did you let him go so easily? How did Arin come into my life so quickly?

I looked down, clutched the strap of the bag more tightly. I felt a little relieved.

No. I never liked Rei.

I like Arin.

Or... am I lying to myself?

Am I just pretending to like Arin to forget Rei?

No. I like Arin. Really. I have to.

Then why do I feel all this when I see Rei?

This question pierced my mind, as if an old wound had been reopened.

The path was passed in silence... We both were walking together, but there was a deep silence in between. When we reached near my house,

Then Rei said something...

"'Have you never liked me? Not even once?'

he asked—in a very soft, but very broken voice.

My heart had suddenly taken a deep sip in a moment.

He was sad... I could clearly see the pain in his eyes—the pain he had expressed by making me feel it, not by saying it.