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Evening.

Detective Silvia Farnsworth gripped the steering wheel of her black stakeout van as she navigated through the winding roads leading out of the upper districts. The day had been exhaustingly long—far longer than she’d anticipated when she’d first received that call from Nurse Helena.

"Chrome Langley..."

She’d been so convinced she’d need to camp out overnight in this van, watching the pathetic excuse for a man until he inevitably showed his true colors and beat his poor girlfriend. Silvia was ready to put a bullet in his skull or beat him the old-fashioned way.

After all, men were weak.

Men were incompetent.

Men were useless creatures who couldn’t even boil water without burning the kitchen down.

That was the gospel she’d lived by for 35 years.

"Chrome... Langely..."

She studied him thoroughly today.

She paused, her fingers tightening on the wheel.

"That man is far too confident. Arrogant, even. Look at the way he walked into that restaurant like he owned the place. Disgusting. Men shouldn’t carry themselves with that much authority."

Another pause.

"But..."

She bit her rosy, lower lip hard.

As if the next words would kill her if she said them.

"He made sure she only ate soft foods after her surgery. So she wouldn’t hurt herself. He even checked with the server about which dishes would be safe for her new implant."

Her face turned bright red.

"AND HE WAS SO ATTENTIVE TO HER!"

Silvia screamed the words so loudly even opera singers would lose their confidence.

"HE HELPED HER WIPE SAUCE FROM HER FACE! LIKE IT WAS THE MOST NATURAL THING IN THE WORLD! AND HE KISSED HER ON THE CHEEK! A GENTLE LITTLE KISS! WHAT A MAN!"

She slammed her palm against the steering wheel as the horn blared briefly into the night.

"AND HE LOOKED AT HER! THE WAY HE LOOKED AT HER! LIKE SHE WAS THE SUN AND THE MOON AND EVERY SINGLE STAR IN THE SKY! MEN AREN’T SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT WOMEN LIKE THAT! THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO BE SELFISH AND DEMANDING! NOT... NOT..."

She let out unintelligible shrieks.

All she could think about was Chrome Langley.

Everything about him was impossible.

Men weren’t supposed to be rich AND hygienic. They were supposed to be one or the other—or more often, neither. Yet there he was, driving a rickety old sedan while wearing Loro Piana and casually dropping tens of thousands on his girlfriend like it was pocket change.

Men weren’t supposed to be easy on the eyes. Yet Chrome Langley was genuinely handsome—not in that rugged, unkempt way that some women found attractive, but genuinely clean and well-groomed.

And men certainly weren’t supposed to be good partners. Yet the entire day she’d watched him, and not once had he raised his voice at Lana, not once had he dismissed her concerns, not once had he disobeyed her.

Still, one thing bothered her to the core of her soul.

"But what’s with the condom?"

She bit her lower lip hard.

"WHAT ARE THEY PLANNING WITH THEM?!"

She screamed again.

Detective Farnsworth had never been more frustrated in her entire life.

---

Middle District.

Silvia walked through the precinct doors.

She moved like a zombie, with glazed eyes and a dreamy smile at the corners of her lips. Her normally sharp posture had softened. She floated through the lobby, not a single aggressive stride in sight.

"Detective Farnsworth! You’re back!"

Sergeant Mills rushed over with a stack of papers.

"I need your signature on these arrest warrants before the night shift ends!"

"Yes, yes..."

Silvia hypnotically signed without looking.

"Uh..." Mills blinked. "That’s great, but you just signed the requisition for new office coffee machines. The warrants are still on my desk."

"Oh, that’s fine too. Yes. Coffee machines."

"But—but you always say coffee machines are a waste of taxpayer money and we should be grateful for the instant stuff! Is everything alright?"

"So, so, alright~ everything is wonderful."

Silvia said dreamily, still floating forward.

Today, all the officers and detectives were shocked.

"She said I was doing great work."

"She’s never said anything nice to me in ten years."

"Did she smile at you?"

"Yes. She smiled. A real smile. Not the scary one."

They were convinced this wasn’t their detective.

"I think we should call a priest."

---

Silvia settled behind her desk.

In front of her sat a thick stack of case files—the latest theft reports from the Greenfield Estate, where the notorious Cat Sisters had struck again.

A rich widow’s jewelry collection, some expensive antique vases, a few high-end electronics. All stolen.

She stared at the files without seeing them.

Her mind was far away.

That condom. That condom. THAT CONDOM.

Where were they going to use it?

WHEN were they going to use it?

She slapped her palm against the desk so hard the entire precinct went silent.

"I HAVE TO KNOW WHAT THAT CONDOM’S FOR!"

Her partner, Detective Gregson, looked up from his own desk with a weary expression.

"Uh, Farnsworth? What about the case files?"

"DOES IT LOOK LIKE I GIVE A DAMN?!"

Before Gregson could respond, Silvia was already on her feet, grabbing her coat and charging toward the exit with the intensity of a possessed woman.

---

Meanwhile, in the middle district’s Greenfield Estate.

The sputtering sedan finally stopped in the driveway of the beautiful luxury duplex.

Chrome turned off the engine and let out a sigh.

Lana was fast asleep in the passenger seat.

She’d passed out somewhere between the mall and the house. All the designer shopping bags were piled around her like a cocoon of luxury.

Her snoring was... something.

Chrome turned to look at her.

Her brown hair was slightly disheveled.

Her lips were slightly parted.

She looked breathtakingly beautiful.

Chrome wore a self-satisfied smirk.

"Heh. I’ve really outdone myself this time."

He glanced at the luxury house, then at the piles of designer clothes, his expensive clothes, then back at the sleeping angel in his passenger seat.

"I’m dating the best woman. I have more money than I could spend in a lifetime. And I have a system that literally pays me to reject women. Heh heh."

He chuckled softly.

"Life is good."

He stepped out of the sedan and there, at the front door of the house, Lili was waving frantically at him.

"Big Brother! Big Brother!"

Chrome waved back with a smile.

"Hey, Lili! I’m home!"

He glanced back at the sedan... this piece of junk that had somehow managed to survive an entire day without falling apart completely.

Lili was already bounding across the lawn toward him as her little legs pumped like pistons.

"Big Brother! Big Brother! D’you get me anything?!"

Her voice was hopeful and so were her big, green eyes.

Chrome sighed dramatically, crossing his arms.

"Sorry, Lili. No presents today. I forgot."

He’d expected her to pout adorably, to whine, to throw a toddler-level tantrum.

Instead, Lili’s expression didn’t change at all. Her smile stayed perfectly in place as she nodded with an almost unsettling maturity.

"Okay, Big Brother! I’m just happy you’re home!"

Chrome blinked.

"What the hell...?"

Now he felt like the child.

Chrome chuckled and held up the shopping bag he’d been hiding behind his back.

"Relax, kid. I was just messing with you."

He fished out a sleek tablet from the bag—the latest model from a top-tier tech brand, complete with a protective case and a stylus included. It was easily the most expensive tablet on the market, selling for upwards of two thousand dollars.

"I got you something, dum-dum."

Lili’s eyes went wide as dinner plates.

"WOOOAAAHHH!"

She snatched the tablet from his hands with the speed of a hungry predator. Her little fingers traced the smooth surface reverently.

"IS THIS REALLY FOR ME?! THIS IS SO COOL! I CAN PLAY SO MANY GAMES ON THIS! AND WATCH SO MANY CARTOONS! AND—"

She hugged it to her chest like it was the most precious thing in the world.

"BIG BROTHER! YOU’RE THE BEST BIG BROTHER IN THE ENTIRE WORLD!"

"GET OUT!"

Chrome shouted at her with tears in his eyes as he pointed at the door. He refused to let this adorable, little girl see him be thoroughly defeated by her cuteness.

"Tee-hee! Big Brother is crying."

Lili giggled and ran off.

He turned back to the sedan and popped open the trunk.

But before he could grab anything, a tiny head poked out from the house’s doorway. Lili’s high-pitched voice echoed across the lawn.

"THANK YOU, BIG BROTHER!"

The head vanished.

Chrome laughed and shook his head.

"You’re welcome, you little gremlin."

The task of unloading began.

Chrome reached for Lana’s hand first, gently shaking her shoulder.

"Lana. Babe. Wake up. We’re home."

No response.

He shook a bit harder.

"Lana. Come on. We need to get your stuff inside."

Still no response.

Then she let out the most horrifyingly loud, power snore he’d ever heard.

RRRRRGGGHHHHNNNNN!

The sound was so powerful that Chrome actually stumbled backward, nearly falling on his ass.

"Was that a dinosaur?!"

He peered cautiously through the window.

Lana was still fast asleep.

Chrome sighed.

"I wish I could say my angel sleeps like one, too. But she sounds like a monster truck."

Still, a good boyfriend accepted his girlfriend’s flaws.

He loved her anyway.

Even if her snoring could wake the dead.

He glanced at the shopping bags piled in the trunk and back seat. There was so much stuff... clothes, shoes, accessories, that ridiculous overcoat. It was going to take forever to carry all of it inside.

Then his eyes drifted to Lana’s handbag, sitting innocently on the floor of the passenger seat.

The condoms were in there.

The two packs of condoms she’d bought for... some reason. What reason, exactly? His girlfriend was a pure, innocent angel who’d never even kissed a man before him. What in the world did she need condoms for?

Chrome’s mind started racing.

’Is she planning to use them all on me? The same night? Is this some kind of twisted punishment for being unfaithful? I don’t think I like this...’

He remembered the stories he’d heard in his past life about worlds like this... women-led societies where unfaithful men were brutally fucked into submission until they no longer had enough testosterone to even LOOK at another woman.

His face went pale.

"That’s not happening. That’s NOT happening."

He was a man who appreciated beautiful women.

Any red-blooded male would.

But he wasn’t so desperate that he’d let his beautiful angel do THAT to him.

"Absolutely not."

He reached for her handbag’s zipper.

Just a quick peek.

His hand crept closer. Closer.

His fingers brushed the leather surface—

A hand grabbed his wrist.

EEEEEEEEK!

Chrome screamed like a little girl.

It was a high-pitched, terrified shriek that would’ve been mortifying if anyone else had heard it.

He slowly turned his head, like the rusty gears responsible for moving his neck were totally jammed, and came face to face with two enormous brown eyes.

Lana was awake.

"What are you looking for in my purse, Chrome?"

"U-, Uh... oh, haha! Nothing, babe! I was just... checking to make sure you had all your stuff! Making sure nothing fell out and all, yunno!"

He laughed nervously and withdrew his hand.

Lana smiled sweetly.

"Ah, that’s so sweet of you!"

She gathered her purse and stepped gracefully out of the car to give him a soft peck on the cheek.

"Mwah! ♥️"

Then she started walking toward the house.

Chrome blinked.

"Uh... babe? Are you gonna help me with all this stuff?"

Lana looked back over her shoulder.

"Didn’t you say you WANTED to help me with my stuff? I’m just letting you do what you said you’d do, silly."

"BUT THAT’S NOT WHAT I—"

She’d already left.

Chrome stood alone in the driveway, surrounded by mountains of shopping bags and an ancient sedan that was probably about to explode.

"...I hate this."

Twenty minutes later.

Chrome was still hauling bags when Bernard returned from his late-evening jog.

"Ah, Chrome!"

Bernard waved as he approached.

"You’re back! I see you’ve—"

He stopped, staring at the utter volume of white bags piled around the driveway.

"Good heavens, what did you buy? The entire mall?"

"Can’t talk now—need some help—"

"Sure thing, son! Just let me—"

Crunch.

Both of them froze.

Chrome looked down.

There, on the ground, was a condom packet.

It must have fallen out of Lana’s purse when he was rummaging through it.

Then he slowly looked up.

Bernard’s face had turned ghost-white.

"I... I can explain—" Chrome started.

"NO NEED!"

Bernard shouted, backing away.

"I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT!"

"BUT I CAN—"

"THAT’S ENOUGH! I’M TOO OLD FOR THIS!"