Immortal Paladin

177 More Chaos

The tavern had gone quiet. Everyone had cleared out of the tavern. That left only the three of us: me, Joan, and the old man who doubled as a nuclear weapon disguised as someone’s harmless grandfather.

“I don’t feel safe here,” I whispered. “Any escape plan?”

“Shh… don’t talk,” Joan murmured.

The old man stood at the center of the room, one hand stroking a nonexistent beard, the other loosely holding his slipper like a ceremonial blade. He hummed thoughtfully, as if solving the mysteries of the universe or trying to remember where he’d left his dentures. “Hmm… I see, I see…”

Joan helped me onto a bench, her hands warm and steady. I rubbed my head and tried again. “Alright, seriously… who is Joan’s progenitor?”

He blinked, as if the answer were obvious. “Karen.”

I straightened. “You know Karen?”

“Of course. She worked for me. For a time.”

“Small world,” I muttered. “Yeah, I know her. Online girlfriend. We even got married in-game once for the item bonuses.”

He squinted. “Yeah, yeah, I know her. I think she likes girls.”

I blinked. “Seriously?”

“Dead serious.”

I rubbed my chin, processing and trying for levity, “So… Joan came from Karen’s balls, huh.”

The slipper rose.

I threw up my hands. “It’s a joke! Girls have eggs—so, you know… balls. Linguistic flourish!”

He stared, then lowered the slipper with a sigh. “I don’t think so.”

Small victories.

I exhaled. “Okay then. Who are you?”

He struck a pose with one leg raised, slipper outstretched, and chin lifted. “I am the Lost Supreme! Progenitor of the Lost Gods! Most Handsome Being in the Greater Universe! The epitome of cultivation! The best of the best!”

I stared. “Most handsome…?”

“Correct.”

“Got a name that doesn’t make me want to vomit?”

He shrugged. “Then call me Cutie.”

“I am not calling you Cutie,” Joan said firmly.

Unbothered, the old man inspected his slipper, dusting it off like it hadn’t just been a weapon of mass destruction.

In the back of my mind, something clicked. If Karen helped create this world, and Joan was a Player Character who’d developed a ‘spark’… then what was this place? A prototype? A memory? A simulation gone rogue?

“So who are you?” he asked.

Fair enough. He’d given me his absurd introduction. Names had power here, and I wasn’t about to offer mine freely to someone who could probably shatter a soul with footwear.

So I stood and matched his energy.

With dramatic flair, I raised a fist and struck a wide-legged pose. “Great Guard! Slayer of the Abyss! He Who Defeated Hell’s Gate! Lord of Riverfall! Honored Friend of the Final Emperor!”

Joan froze. The old man tilted his head.

I pressed on.

“This champion,” I declared, sweeping my arm wide, “is Da Wei—more handsome than the Most Handsome Being in the Greater Universe!”

The old man stared with unreadable eyes.

Beside me, Joan tugged my sleeve. “What have you done?” she whispered. "Did you really have to do that?"

Honestly? I had no idea. I’d gotten swept up in the moment.

“Ha!” bellowed the old man, loud enough to rattle the empty mugs. “Someone gets it!”

His laughter rang like thunder, joyful and unhinged, as he slapped his knee. “Finally! A proper introduction full of nonsense, bravado, and zero grounding in reality. Beautiful! Inspiring! Completely pointless!”

I blinked. “Wait… so you’re not going to kill me?”

“Kill you?” He wiped a tear from his eye. “I’d promote you if I could. That was top-tier delusional confidence. A little more shameless, and I’d make you a Shen on the spot.”

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Joan looked like she wanted to melt into the floor.

“Da Wei…” she said.

“What?” I muttered. “He liked it.”

“That’s not the point,” she whispered. “You just declared yourself handsomer than a god.”

“He started it.”

The old man clapped his hands, and the tension in the room popped. “I like you, Da Wei. You’ve got that chaos, the kind that makes worlds tremble, and systems break. An unpolished disaster.”

“Thanks,” I said. “I think?”

He gave me a thumbs-up. “You’ll go far. Or die horribly. Either way, it’ll be fun to watch.”

He walked past us and sat at a round table. A keg appeared from nowhere; he poured himself a drink and took a slow sip, eyes gleaming with mischief and old memories.

I sat beside Joan. “Well, at least he laughed.”

“That’s not reassuring,” she muttered.

“Alright,” the old man said, settling in. “Why are you here?”

It wasn’t hostile. Just curious, like he already knew the answer, but wanted to hear me say it.

So I told him everything.

“I was playing a game... LLO. Lost Legends Online. An MMO. Then something went wrong. One second, I was playing, the next I was falling into a place called the Hollowed World. Some eldritch thing dragged me in with tentacles, whispers, the usual. Then I woke up in a different reality.”

I took a breath. “Since then, I’ve fought demons, cultists, even a forest that turned out to be a dimensional horror. I’ve met incredible people, terrifying monsters, and power-hungry cultivators with too many titles.”

He nodded, sipping on a mug steadily. Beside me, Joan stayed quiet, fingers twitching like she was reliving every fight.

“Most recently,” I continued, “I’ve been dealing with a ‘god’ named Aixin. She’s from the Greater Universe. She took over Joan’s body and tried to take mine. Would’ve succeeded if I hadn’t gone nuclear.”

The old man set his cup down, his gaze turning heavy. “I don’t know the Hollowed World.”

That surprised me.

“I’m not the original,” he added. “Just a memory. An echo, really. What I know is limited to what I remember.”

I nodded. “Understood.”

“I do know Aixin,” he said. “She serves a Supreme Being, one who rules over ‘Hearts.’ Be careful with your relationships. Love, loyalty, desire… to them, those are weapons. Fuel.”

My chest tightened. I glanced at Joan; her hand had curled into a fist.

“As for the entity that brought you here,” he continued, “I don’t know why it chose you. Even beings like me can’t grasp such motives. Chance, design? It doesn’t matter. You’re here now. And you’re entangled.”

“Great,” I muttered. “Then, about Aixin. Can you help? Maybe… slipper her out of existence? I used Divine Possession on Joan to try to force her out. It’s our best shot.”

He shook his head. “I can’t. Even if you corner her in Joan’s mind, she’d overpower me. Worse, if she learned Earth’s location through me, it would be catastrophic.”

A chill ran down my spine. “What do you mean?”

“Da Wei,” he said quietly, “no god or Supreme Being would ignore Earth. To most, it’s a myth. To others, a divine secret. The one who claims it…” His voice dropped. “Claims the World, like one claims the Heavens… and the Void.”

I didn’t speak for a while as the tavern seemed to grow colder, its emptiness now hollowed out by the weight of his words, while Joan stared at her lap with her mouth set tight, and the realization settled in that Earth wasn’t just home but a prize, a key, perhaps the final piece in a cosmic game whose outcome could decide the fate of everything.

“And if this Aixin claims me, she can learn about Eart, too,” I murmured.

He nodded. “Truly, incredible stakes.”

I slumped back. “No pressure.”

“Only the fate of worlds,” he said, raising his cup. “But you’re a gamer. You live for final bosses and underdog runs, don’t you?”

That almost made me smile.

“I… have questions too,” Joan said quietly.

He nodded. “Go on.”

She glanced at me, then back at him. “Am I real?”

The question hit harder than I expected. I’d wanted to ask it myself.

He didn’t hesitate. “Of course you are. We feel, we think, we suffer, we die. That makes us real.”

He looked at both of us. “We are real.”

Joan’s shoulders eased, her hands unclenching. I hadn’t realized I was holding my breath until I let it out.

I leaned forward. “Then what is this world? Isn’t this a game? Lost Legends Online?”

He shook his head. “Not in the way that matters. Not to me, and not to those who live here.”

He paused, then continued. “I created this world to protect Earth... to prepare it, to keep it out of reach of the Greater Universe. I sacrificed everything to build this system… this reality you call a game. What you know as Classes and Legacies are remnants of that sacrifice.”

His gaze settled on us. “I chose Mana, not Qi. Mana is closer to Quintessence. It is flexible, transferable across realms. Qi is bound to Heaven and Earth; mana is bound to intent. It also allows the construction of Spell Slots, conduits that borrow the Universe’s Quintessence. That’s what gives your abilities their edge.”

I stared. “So the spells…? cooldowns…? balance patches…?”

“Artifacts of an incomplete system,” he finished. “But enough to give Earth a fighting chance. If you ask what this place is, it’s a world I built. A seed of resistance in a universe of oppression.”

The words rang true in a strange, dreamlike way.

“It was never meant to be leisure,” he went on. “It was meant to train you, to test creativity and resolve. To elevate humanity. I don’t even know if I finished it. It became too unstable, too costly.”

He looked at me, almost proud. “But seeing you here, maybe I succeeded.”

Joan snorted. “Don’t be too sure. Last time I was here, it was a mess.”

I let out a quiet laugh. “Same. Difficulty spikes, silent devs, bugs turning into mobs. I nearly died because a rock spawned wrong and aggroed an elite.”

He chuckled, though there was sadness behind it. “Still, I have you. And Earth is your home. I trust you’ll defend it. That means you are not going to let this Aixin get what she wants.”

I wanted to say something heroic. Instead, I sighed. “First, I save Joan. Then I survive Aixin.”

“I have an idea,” Joan said, eyes narrowing.

The old man raised a brow. “Oh?”

Joan pointed between us. “How many cultivation techniques do you have?”

He blinked, then slowly turned to me. A chill ran down my spine. That look was evaluative, like a blacksmith sizing up ore.

I raised my hands, stepping back. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“I believe she’s volunteering you,” he said with a smirk.

Joan crossed her arms. “Yes. I am.”

I groaned. “Joan, I just survived a goddess trying to bodyjack me. That was exhausting.”

“Do you want to survive the next one?” she asked flatly.

That shut me up.

The old man considered. “I have a few thousand techniques from basic tempering to understanding of incomplete Laws. Most are inefficient or bound to specific realms, but…”

My stomach twisted. “A few thousand?”

“If you’re looking for power,” he continued, “I can show you something useful. For example, the full list of Paladin skills you’ve yet to learn. The mysteries that surround divine power and how to wield it properly. If we go by game terms, it's time you get level-ups and several.”

“…”

My blood boiled. What kind of gamer wouldn’t react to that?