Illusion Report

Welcome to the Southern Airlines Passenger Live Report, where you’ll get a firsthand look into the passenger experience. It’s so immersive you don’t even have to leave home to enjoy the discomfort of no Wi-Fi, no social distancing, and sitting bolt upright for two hours without a meal.

But honestly, I’m pretty content. The two girls next to me smell nice and not at all bad (if anyone stinks, it’s probably me, since I was rushing all over the place). And on top of that, we weren’t even delayed!

What an honor!

Right now, the seatback is jabbing the back of my head, the seatbelt buckle is digging into my butt, and my bag is crushing my feet. The screen in front of me is showing a podcast called "Why We Love the Song Dynasty," and a faint, foul odor is wafting over from up ahead (never mind, I spoke too soon).

I haven’t even looked up since sitting down, just racing against the clock to broadcast this in-flight experience to all of you. And why is that?

Because

Wandering me, I won’t land ’til 7:30

And I don’t know

Today’s fragmented, rootless

Update

Will go live

At what

China time. 𝘧𝓇ℯℯ𝑤ℯ𝘣𝓃ℴ𝓋𝑒𝑙.𝑐𝘰𝑚

A little poem, dedicated to you all. Thanks for tuning in.

Finished the poem and saw I still have a little time, so let me add my two cents: I’ve already got 500 characters down for the new Chapter! And it’s still about that big macaque (?), Jin Xueli!

If I just had two—no, three hours, I could definitely get the update out today.

But who knows what time I’ll get to my hotel... because I’m landing at Hongqiao but staying in Pudong... My greatest hobby, it seems, is making charitable donations to airlines and Didi drivers.

Why do I always stay in Pudong? Because that’s the Qidian Nest.

I’m about to infiltrate their old nest again!

(Editor, can you see this? I’m not saying you’re one of its residents, by the way.)

What’s that? What happens if I get to the hotel too late?

Let’s eat first, let’s eat first. Come on, top off your glasses. We’ll talk after we eat, we’ll talk after we eat.