Illusion Report

Time flies, the years slip by. In the blink of an eye, those seven Calabash Brothers I owed you all back then have...

...not grown up, because I haven’t given birth to them yet...

I could have sworn I just wrote a thank-you post to you all, my dears, but it feels like it was just the other day. Then I looked, and the last one was on April 23rd?? Have I really been that heartless and shameless since then?

I’m so sorry, my dears. You all keep supporting and encouraging me, while I keep being so ungrateful... Let me take a moment to appreciate my family here and tally up the score. Let’s see how those seven Calabash Brothers I owed have turned into a bunch of Minions today. And don’t you dare skip this Chapter just because it’s for thanks—what if you get a shout-out?!

I’ve been on the road constantly lately, right? I reckon I won’t be able to properly pay my debts until I’m home for good. The good news is, this trip is finally entering its last stage. Shanghai is the final stop. After I get back, I really don’t plan on going out again for the rest of the year. I love to write, and writing loves me. Nothing can tear us apart. 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝙚𝙬𝓮𝙗𝒏𝙤𝒗𝙚𝙡.𝒄𝒐𝓶

(Unless someone enthusiastically invites me to New York for research on Illusion Report.) (I could leave right now, for real.) (So what if the book is a flop? That just means I have to work harder, right?)

The line of people waiting to adopt a baby from the maternity ward of Shenzhen Second People’s Hospital has gotten a lot longer:

Well now, Bohemia’s Xiang (let’s not dig too deep into that name) showed up to support the launch! I’m sure plenty of you remember this big shot... I’ve lost count of how many kids I owe you... How about we just put you down for one this time, okay...?

We have a new patron, Golden Gunsmith Rousseau, who added two children to the list all by themself! To be honest, my knees are a little weak... The ID feels familiar, but I’m afraid to get my hopes up. Are you a new reader lured in by Illusion Report? Or are you a blessing inherited from my old ’Doomsday’ series (?)

To my dear b111111111, I refuse to believe you can get the number of 1s right on your first try when logging in! I’m sure I could type a few more or a few less and you wouldn’t even notice (jk), but in any case, the baby’s on my tab now.

Thank you to Yaoyao and Linlin for the KFC (that’s right, I’ve abandoned McDonald’s; the Golden Arches has disappointed me—can you believe they don’t even use Heinz ketchup anymore?), Tiejia Baitang for the dessert (desserts are so expensive these days, I saw egg tarts for over 20 bucks!), and thanks to Chushi Qingzichan, Moyuan-read-as-Blackbird, and Yingyou for each stuffing a milk tea in my hands (the flavors are incredible nowadays, how do they even think of them?). Haines even treated me to dinner. Between all of you, you’ve basically fed me for a whole day!

How many babies is that? Oh, another five on the tab—but who’s scared!

In for a penny, in for a pound!

Thank you to 24’s QD for getting me some DQ (Dairy Queen is delicious, and your gift is so auspicious!), vitang (who got me two bottles of mouthwash in Shanghai), Fengyin (am I still in debt to you from last time?), Joiiiii for sending a grand opening flower basket...

And Libaobao de Baobao (Gosh, I have no idea what the story is behind this name; seriously, you have to tell us!), Zhang-gaogao de Yu (this fish is truly tall, I’ve been nibbling on it since the last book), Junmi-xi (so many old readers!), Dongxie (how can I possibly accept this, hehehe), and Aaah-zenme-feishi (what IS happening?!)...

And Murakami’s Kafka (no consort to keep you company this time!), San-xi-yi (I think I saw your comment!), CIel Mo (what was I saying... I’m always fleecing the same few sheep), and 100,000 Volts (were you the one who recommended that Dongbei-style bathhouse?).

Thank you, Chen Chengye (are you a new reader?), Xiao Sun Dai Ni Fei (not a new reader), Liu Jinqi (I know you all too well!), Parsons Prep Student, Emmy-chan, whhit, MARGINAL Yu, Ya-er (we meet again!), BookLover20240202130643416 (typing out these numbers is going to be the death of me), and BookLover20230109114807508 (I’m begging you, please pick a new username!).

Okay, let me catch my breath before I continue:

Sanjiu’s Exclusive Bandage (Okay, fine, as long as you don’t take showers), Scatterbrain Diudiu, Whirlwind Feiwan Who Treats Donating Like a Daily Check-in, Yuezhuo Likes Adventure Stories, Miaao, Lin Sanjiu’s Dog (?), Fish-Shrimp-Crab Are Everywhere, You Will Always Owe the Sun, mocaozy, yoleen Yu...

And to all my friends who voted with monthly tickets, I see you all, but I really can’t list any more names. I’m so grateful that you’re willing to spend your tickets on such an unpopular book. I’ve been getting a bit worried about the numbers lately, so seeing the monthly tickets and knowing you’re all keeping up with the story is incredibly reassuring.

I’ve discovered that if I save up all the donations and thank everyone in one go, it makes it seem like business is booming (jk)... What’s another 12 babies? Come on, bring out the twelve zodiac animals.