Idol Hides His Military Service

"You absolutely must not startle these people!"

Famous comedian Kim Bangman spoke with a tense expression, and the cast members nodded with stiff faces as if silently agreeing with him.

Standing in front of us were natives glaring at us furiously and saying all sorts of things in our direction.

They were dressed like a drawing of what "natives" were supposed to look like, with colorful tattoos painted all over their bodies and even carrying spears and bows that, for some reason, looked brand-new.

"Sion unnie! I think this is a really dangerous situation!"

"Hm···is it that serious?"

"Yes?"

Shinyu also seemed tense in the standoff with those natives, but I was dissatisfied with the current situation.

'Those people were selling fruit on the street earlier.'

I was fairly good at remembering faces.

That made sense, since back in the military I had dealt with over a hundred men in a company, so I had naturally developed the habit of remembering the faces of people I saw for the first time.

Thanks to that, I knew the furious natives standing in front of us now were the same locals who had been selling fruit and snacks along the road we had passed earlier.

'So there’s no realism here either.'

That was disappointing.

At the last Iam charity auction, Shinyu had been bought by the jungle expedition team and had to head off to the jungle.

-I’m not sure if I’ll do well going to the jungle alone···.

The closer the filming date for Jungle Expedition got, the more anxious Shinyu had seemed.

Which was understandable. Unlike the other members, who had each done one or two solo activities since debut, Shinyu had always worked together with the members, so the burden of having to do this alone seemed big.

-Don’t worry. I’ll go with you.

-What?

-The gentleman understands loyalty, while the petty person understands profit. Here, the gentleman is me, and the petty person is Seo Ryujin.

-Why are you dragging me into this when I was just sitting here!

So I told Shinyu I’d go along too.

'Besides, I’d wanted to visit the jungle at least once anyway.'

For some reason, I was worried about sending Shinyu alone, and besides, Jungle Expedition was a program I enjoyed watching and somewhere I’d wanted to visit at least once.

What I had worried about was whether the production staff might refuse since I had decided to join so suddenly, but—

-It works! Absolutely! If you come, we’re go!

Fortunately, the production staff seemed absolutely delighted that I was coming.

If anything, it was the company that had tried to stop me from going.

-What kind of trouble are you planning to cause now!

Raon, especially, had tried to block my way, but it was useless.

When I said that if they didn’t let me go, I would leave the dorm and camp out at Raon’s house until Shinyu came back, Raon fled without a word.

"Let’s just do what they tell us for now."

While I was briefly recalling why I had come to the jungle, Kim Bangman, who was basically the leader of the cast, seemed to have finished negotiating something with the natives.

With a gesture telling us to follow, we, the Jungle Expedition cast, entered the natives’ village.

Once we stepped inside, I saw the natives—no, the locals—looking at us with open wariness.

They were giving off the ominous air that if the outsiders who had come to the village made even one mistake, they wouldn’t let it slide.

Still, as I watched the locals glaring at us while also sneaking anxious glances at the camera, I couldn’t help thinking of WWE pro wrestlers. Was it really just a coincidence?

From the standpoint of a jungle expert, it was a very disappointing situation.

As an avid consumer of Surviving in the Jungle, BBC documentaries, and National Geographic, it just felt like it lacked vivid realism.

-In the jungle, protein intake is important. Insects are an excellent source of protein.

Even if it wasn’t to the level of that British guy chewing bugs with a grimace while continuing his explanation, if I had come all the way to the jungle, I had figured I might at least get one life-or-death one-on-one match with a wild animal.

-Company Commander, they say a person with bare hands can’t even beat one dog.

-Nonsense.

-What?

-I can win.

A water deer I had run into once while patrolling in the military.

That ➤ NоvеⅠight ➤ (Read more on our source) strange creature that ran away when it saw people but charged at cars had, for some reason, charged straight at me that day.

And I did not reject challengers.

I swiftly dodged its charge and drove the edge of my hand straight into its forehead, subduing it in one stroke. The memory of that fresh youth came back to me.

After that, the thing had flopped around like it had been electrocuted, just like Seo Ryujin when she’d been stuck upside down in the sandpit.

If it had been up to me, I would have liked to return to the company carrying my spoils and brag about it, but the Republic of Korea Army did not engage in meaningless slaughter, so I let it go.

And if I said I hadn’t sometimes longed since then for a match against something even fiercer, that would be a lie.

But South Korea was such a peaceful place that wild boars counted as apex predators, so I had always dreamed of someday leaping into a bigger world and having a true contest in the wild.

"These people are saying that if we want to stay in their village, we have to pass a warrior’s trial."

"A warrior’s trial?"

"They say they’ll only accept us as guests if we earn their recognition through a total of three contests···."

When Kim Bangman, the leader among our cast, said with a grave expression that we had to pass a warrior’s trial, I felt my heart pounding.

"I’ll do it!"

A warrior’s trial?

Did that mean I had to hunt down a jaguar or something?

This was a chance I couldn’t pass up.

***

'Ah···I want to go home.'

Omore of Ecuador’s Wao tribe was a twenty-two-year-old young man.

-A Korean TV station is coming to film. You’re doing the part-time job too, right?

-Of course. Korea’s a rich country, isn’t it? They’ll pay a lot too.

The Wao tribe.

A traditional tribe of Ecuador that had once truly lived in the jungle by hunting and gathering, but that was all in the past now.

The Wao had long since accepted modern civilization in step with the tide of globalization.

Omore himself, for instance, used an iPhone and normally lived in the city, working as a guide for tourists or selling things.

Then occasionally, when a foreign TV station or a large tourist group came by like this, he would go to the old tribal grounds in traditional clothes and act the part as a side job.

"The enemy commander has been defeated!!!"

"Waaaaah!!!"

Part-timer Omore could hardly believe what had just happened.

A Korean celebrity standing atop a tree and letting out a resounding roar, and his coworkers cheering for that celebrity.

'Sion?'

He couldn’t remember the name exactly, but because she had been so pretty, his eyes had often drifted toward that woman. And Omore had just lost to her.

"Omore! What are you doing right now?"

"No···I did everything I could! You all saw it too! That woman was just too fast!"

"You’re the shame of the Wao tribe, the shame. How can you lose tree climbing to a foreigner!"

Omore felt wronged by the reproach from his fellow tribesmen.

'What the hell does that person do?!' 𝒇𝙧𝙚𝓮𝙬𝙚𝓫𝒏𝓸𝓿𝓮𝒍.𝓬𝙤𝓶

Tree climbing.

More exactly, it was the first contest of the warrior’s trial, where the person who climbed the tree and picked the fruit hanging at the top first won.

-So all you have to do is threaten the cast members and then suggest something called a warrior’s trial.

That had been the role the production staff had explained in advance before filming.

Like other shoots that had come here before, the request to wear traditional clothing and show the old way of life of the natives was similar, but there was one difference this time: these people had asked for contests.

Of course, they weren’t real contests, but carefully staged ones where they would create just the right amount of tension like a rigged game and then, in the end, let the cast members win.

'Wasn’t the person we were supposed to lose to that guy?'

The sturdily built male celebrity sweating nervously with a bewildered look looked just as flustered as Omore right now.

What Omore and the Wao people had been told was that they were only supposed to pretend to have a close match and then lose when facing that male celebrity.

But—

"I believed in you, Sion unnie!"

"This much is way too easy for Haan-dong Tarzan."

"Wow! Miss Sion is really good at climbing trees!"

"I think Miss Sion should do all the remaining matches too!"

The celebrity on the opposing side, who was clearly supposed to suffer a crushing defeat, had instead completely steamrolled Omore, throwing every plan into chaos.

Omore himself couldn’t believe the situation.

Sure, he was just an ordinary Ecuadorian citizen doing native cosplay, but he was still a descendant of a traditional tribe that had climbed trees for fun since childhood.

And since he had practiced on and off for shows like this, he had been confident he wouldn’t lose to just anyone.

On top of that, since this opponent was a woman, he had planned to go easy at first and then show his true skill at the end to take the win, but instead he had lost before he could even react.

Under the piercing stares of his tribesmen looking at him like he was pathetic, Omore could only bow his head.

"The next warrior’s trial is a contest of strength!"

Perhaps trying to forget Omore’s shocking defeat, the tribal chief hurriedly announced the start of the next contest.

"In our Wao tribe, we will send out our greatest warrior, Aroke, for this contest!"

"Aroke? The chief must be really pissed."

"Wasn’t Tamoki supposed to go out?"

"Omore screwed things up, so this time we’ve got to show them properly! If this goes wrong, we’ll lose this part-time gig."

And the opposing side’s interpreter hurriedly translated the chief’s words while the Wao people buzzed among themselves.

'Sending out Aroke? He must really be desperate.'

Omore, too, was stunned by the chief’s decision.

"Uoooah!!!"

With a battle cry and pounding on his chest, a gigantic man emerged from among the Wao people.

At a glance, he looked to be at least 190 centimeters tall, and his whole body was packed with muscle. This man was none other than the Wao tribe’s ultimate weapon, Aroke.

"What the hell! He looks insanely strong!"

"That’s cheating! How are we supposed to beat that···."

"Even if Chief Bangman went out, that’d still be impossible."

Omore couldn’t understand them, but even the Korean celebrities seemed nervous at Aroke’s arrival, whispering among themselves with uneasy expressions.

"The second contest, the contest of strength, is a traditional game of our Wao tribe. Inside the circle drawn here, without using fists or feet, you must overpower your opponent and push the opponent out of the circle! Anyone who injures the opponent loses by foul!"

With Aroke’s appearance changing the mood, the Wao chief explained the rules of the strength contest in a slightly excited voice.

A contest of strength.

In truth, the Wao had no such traditional game.

-So all we have to do is explain these three matches written here as traditional games of our Wao tribe?

-Yes.

-We don’t have anything like this.

-Then from now on, you’re making a tradition.

Astonishingly, it was a brand-new traditional game for the Wao invented by a Korean TV station.

Anyway, the part-timer who was originally supposed to compete in what had now become a traditional Wao game, the contest of strength, was Omore’s friend Tamoki.

But the one who came out was Aroke, a solid young man learning martial arts in Ecuador and the hope of the Wao tribe, someone said to maybe reach the UFC someday.

"Can I really go out there?"

"We already threw one round, so we absolutely have to win this one to save face!"

"Ha···I just came here to make some spending money. What is this."

Omore could hear Aroke, who had not originally been scheduled to come out, complaining to the chief and asking for extra part-time pay later.

Apparently the negotiation had ended, because Aroke let out another roar and stepped into the drawn circle, while the Wao tribesmen watched with confident expressions.

Aroke probably knew it was a TV show, so he would go easy, but even so, there didn’t seem to be anyone among the Korean celebrities who could face him. In a way, that made their confidence understandable.

The strongest-looking one on that side seemed to be the male celebrity they had been told about in advance. He looked like he could use some strength, but next to Aroke he was still only about the level of a child.

But—

"I’ll go!"

"What?"

"Sion unnie, this opponent looks way too strong this time!"

"Miss Sion, I think that’s too dangerous. Even if hitting is forbidden, what if you get hurt···."

Omore’s—no, the Wao tribe’s expectations missed the mark.

'Is she crazy?'

He couldn’t understand Korean, but the female celebrity from the first match seemed to be saying she wanted to go out.

Of course, Omore had lost to her, but going out against Aroke, who was almost twice her size if you exaggerated a little, was insane.

Even Aroke, playing the role of the tribe’s warrior, was glancing at the chief as if asking with his eyes whether this was really right.

And the chief, receiving that look, also couldn’t hide his confusion and turned to look at the filming crew.

The filming crew seemed just as unprepared. They approached the woman, who was eagerly trying to step up, and started talking to her, but apparently the conversation didn’t go well, because they soon shook their heads and gestured for her to just do it.

"You know, as you’re aware, just win carefully. Just carefully and gently."

"This wasn’t in the contract···."

"We’ll settle the extra fee later."

"Well, if that’s the case, I suppose I should give you what you want."

Of course, they weren’t just leaving it at that. The film crew’s interpreter quietly approached Aroke and proposed a private deal, and Aroke readily accepted. Even for Aroke, it seemed uncomfortable to go all out against a woman—especially a frail and pretty woman.

"All right, then, from now on we begin the second contest!"

Once the deal was finished, the chief announced the start of the match, and Aroke, once again transformed into a warrior of the primitive Wao tribe, let out a roar and charged at the woman.