Surviving as a Maid of the Sichuan Tang Clan

Cane was a sable of the new era—early to bed, early to rise.

The little guy crawled into bed before it was even 9 p.m., then popped up around 5 a.m. and shook me awake.

“SQUEEEE! GRRRRURRUK!”

“Hey. Shut up.”

I yanked the blanket over my head and covered my ears, but he just tugged on my hair like he was ordering me to get up faster.

“Get up. I’m getting up, so stop pestering me.”

“GRRUK!”

“His stomach... I-I think he’s hungry....”

Gyeonga, who’d brought in a bowl of rice-wash water, looked at Cane with real worry.

“Are you hungry?”

“GRRRURRUK!”

So it was true. You woke me up to beg for food?

Rubbing at my sleepy eyes, I glanced at Songji.

“Songji. Don’t we have something to feed him?”

“Do we really have to feed him right now? Your breakfast isn’t even ready yet, young lady.”

“We can’t let Grand Elder’s spirit creature go hungry.”

With nothing to argue back, Songji brought over two boiled eggs.

“Peel them yourself.”

When she snapped at him, Cane plopped himself down in front of the tray like it was no big deal and started stripping the shells with his front paws.

“Look at him. He’s actually peeling them?”

“KEE.”

After neatly removing the shells, he gulped down the soft insides—glug, glug.

Watching a sable demolish two eggs in seconds, I couldn’t help the dumb laugh that slipped out.

I narrowed my eyes at Cane as he burped in satisfaction.

“You’ve eaten, so now you’re coming to the training grounds with me.”

“SQUEE?”

“Don’t play innocent. I heard you can handle most martial artists.”

“SQUEEEE?”

He tilted his head like he had no idea what I was talking about. I grabbed him by the scruff.

“Doesn’t matter if you deny it. If you ate, you pay for it.”

“KEE! KEEEEE!” 𝘧𝓇ℯℯ𝑤ℯ𝘣𝓃ℴ𝓋𝑒𝑙.𝑐𝘰𝑚

“Or should I call Grand Elder over here?”

“......”

The second I said Tang Jung’s name, Cane went limp and stopped fighting.

So even you’re scared of Grand Elder.

Snickering, I set him on my shoulder and headed for the training grounds.

Maybe because the days had grown longer, it was already bright even though it was still early morning. The moment I stepped inside the training grounds, I spotted Tang Jung with a long bamboo pipe in his mouth.

“Grand Elder. Did you sleep well?”

“......Yes.”

After answering, Tang Jung looked at me and exhaled a thin stream of pale smoke. His face looked irritated in a way it usually didn’t.

A thick scent of incense washed over me, and so did a wave of anxiety.

...Did I mess something up?

“Sohae. Come here. Sit.”

I crept closer and sat in front of him as carefully as I could.

Tang Jung let out a few heavy sighs, then flicked my forehead.

THWACK!

“Ow! That hurts.”

I wasn’t exaggerating. It hurt so much I literally saw stars.

When I rubbed my burning forehead and blinked hard, Tang Jung clicked his tongue.

“I’ve been raising a fool. I thought you were clever—turns out you’re a complete idiot.”

“...What?”

“Handling poison means you just swallow whatever someone hands you? Without even knowing what it is? Are you trying to die in some random room without understanding why?”

Only then did I realize why he was in such a bad mood. He’d heard about Tang Juyeop.

I muttered under my breath.

“But it didn’t work on me....”

“That isn’t the point. You can’t forget there are people everywhere who want you dead. Always be on guard. Always!”

As if he was about to burst, Tang Jung pounded his own chest.

I didn’t know he’d try to poison me the first time we met, either. And it was a family meal, okay?

Feeling a little wronged, I puffed out my cheeks.

“He told me it was a digestive tonic. Nobody stopped him, so I thought it was really a tonic.”

“You shouldn’t have believed him. The martial world is a ruthless place. Trust no one.”

This is my home, though.

Tang Jung read my face and rubbed down his own like he was washing it dry.

“What am I going to do with this little thunder-headed brat?”

Yeah, could I maybe get a face that doesn’t broadcast everything I’m thinking?

I hurriedly tried to put on a remorseful expression, but Tang Jung just snorted.

With a little huff, I hooked my arm through his.

“Fine. From now on, I won’t trust anyone. If I don’t trust them, that’s it, right?”

“You’re good with words.”

Tang Jung’s mouth twitched, the corner slowly creeping upward. Really—he was weak to affection.

As his mood eased and the crease between his brows smoothed out, Tang Jung patted my head.

“Don’t trust any of your siblings. Do you really think any of them will accept you as their sister when you appeared out of nowhere? They’re all itching to kill you.”

I nodded, remembering Tang Juyeop’s chilling smile and Tang Hwayeop’s open disgust.

“Yes. I will.”

“Good.”

“But... living like you can’t trust anyone sounds kind of lonely.”

“Better lonely than stabbed in the back by someone you trusted.”

“...Yeah. Fair.”

No argument there.

Smacking his lips once, Tang Jung spoke as if to comfort me.

“Still... if you live long enough, you’ll meet someone who believes you even if you hold a blade to their throat and says, ‘There must be a reason.’ That kind of person—those are the ones you can trust.”

“Like you, Grand Elder?”

“You trust this old man? The same old man you used to tiptoe around the moment you even saw his shadow?”

“Me? When? Was that in my past life?”

When I played dumb, Tang Jung gave a short laugh and pinched my cheek.

“Anyway. Trust no one. That’s enough nagging for today. Geunmyeong—bring me a jar with a centipede.”

“Yes.”

Tang Geunmyeong appeared from somewhere and handed over a small jar. Tang Jung tapped the lid twice and began.

“Today I’ll teach you how to filter poison energy into something pure and absorb it.”

“Pure poison energy? How does poison become pure?”

At my baffled look, Tang Jung spoke like it was nothing.

“Don’t make it complicated. Gather the impurities together and mix them, and it becomes pure poison.”

“Um... I don’t really get it. If you mix impurities together, doesn’t that just make it murkier?”

“If you don’t understand, think of fire. Fire grows by swallowing what’s around it, doesn’t it? The more there is to burn, the purer the fire becomes. Poison is the same. The more impurities it devours, the stronger the poison energy becomes.”

So... like mixing a bunch of different paints together until it turns black? It was still kind of fuzzy.

When I shifted my eyes awkwardly, Tang Jung swallowed a dry chuckle.

“...You didn’t understand. Fine. You’ll get it once you do it.”

Then he opened the jar.

A strange sound crawled out of it.

Like something wriggling. Or scraping.

...Don’t tell me it’s a bug. Don’t tell me he put bugs in a jar.

Cold sweat slid down my back.

“There are many ways to train absorption of poison energy. The fastest and most effective method is called the Ten-Thousand-Poison Hand.”

“Ten-Thousand-Poison Hand?”

“Yes. You put your hand into a jar of poison insects and let them sting you.”

“...What?”

It is bugs!

These people are insane. Poisoning, stinging, the whole house is in chaos. You can die like that. This won’t be the Sichuan Tang Clan anymore—it’ll be the Underworld Tang Clan.

I shot to my feet to run, but Tang Jung caught me by the scruff.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“Hahaha... I-I’m just... going to the bathroom.”

I made a stiff excuse, but Tang Jung didn’t buy it for a second. He shoved the jar toward me.

“Here. Put it in. Just about fifteen minutes.”

Fifteen minutes with my hand in a jar full of bugs? You’re joking. Right?

I darted my eyes between Tang Jung and the jar, then sucked in a deep breath.

“...Grand Elder.”

“What are you doing? Put it in.”

“I can’t do this! Goodbye!”

And I bolted out of Tang Jung’s hall like my life depended on it.

*****

Getting dragged back was even faster than running away.

Tang Jung, who’d fished me back with my cheeks puffed up and swollen, pressed a hand to his forehead like he’d developed a headache.

“If a poisoner is scared of poison insects, what am I supposed to do with you?”

“But... it’s disgusting.”

“Are you sure you aren’t just slacking because you don’t want to train?”

“It’s not that I don’t want to train. I’m serious—serious. I can’t touch them because they’re disgusting, Grand Elder.”

I’d rather handle poison-soaked laundry a hundred times—no, a thousand—than grab a centipede barehanded.

As I muttered and hid my hands behind my back, Tang Jung narrowed his eyes.

“You really are something. Your sister thinks they’re pretty and walks around with a poisonous snake wrapped around her.”

No—Tang Juhee is the strange one. She squeezes venom out at the dinner table.

“Stop whining. Even if you hate it, you have to get used to it. Handling poison creatures properly is as important as poisoning someone.”

After dismissing my human-rights struggle as “whining,” Tang Jung wore a stern face and tapped the jar.

The centipede inside clattered and rattled loudly against the walls.

Ugh. No. Please.

I forced myself to ignore the horrible sound and asked in a small voice.

“Do I really have to handle poison creatures? There are plant poisons and mineral poisons too.”

“Most dragon-blood poisons come from poison creatures. Plant poisons have limits. And the poison you use is something you need to be able to make yourself. Do you think your grandpa can spoon-feed you forever?”

“Idon’tthinkIneedtoknowjustspoonfeedmeplease.”

I mumbled the protest in one breath, half on purpose. Tang Jung’s expression hardened, and his eyes opened wide.

“.......”

“.......”

“Of course not. And what kind of habit is that? Don’t speak so uncultured in front of others. Rattling off words without breathing, all reckless and light.”

“Yes.”

He wasn’t wrong.

A poison master who couldn’t make poison himself was the same as a cook who couldn’t prep ingredients.

I steeled myself to become friends with the centipede—

Like hell I did. I can’t do this. I seriously can’t.

When I bit my lip with a miserable face, Tang Jung apparently found it funny, because he let out a small snort.

“Is it really that bad?”

“It’s horribly bad.”

“Oh, good grief.”

Tang Jung made a long, deflating sound, then slowly closed the lid.

“Fine. I’ll let it go for today. It’s not urgent.”

“Really?”

“If you don’t like it, put your {N•o•v•e•l•i•g•h•t} hand in anyway.”

Tang Jung opened the lid again with a sulky look.

The instant he did, Cane sprang off my shoulder and lunged straight for the jar.

“Cane? What are you—aaah!”

I shrieked and stumbled backward.

That insane sable was eating the centipede!

While I stared in horror at the nightmare in front of me, Tang Jung stayed perfectly calm. Clicking his tongue, he grabbed Cane by the scruff and lifted him up.

“You already ate well. What do you think you’re doing?”

“KEEEEYIK!”

“Stop stuffing your face. Do you think I spent three years raising that centipede so you could use it as a snack?”

“KRAAAK!”

“Where are you throwing a tantrum? Want me to send you back to the Im household? Missing your days as a Poison-Avoidance Pearl?”

“...SQUEE.”

At Tang Jung’s threat, Cane instantly turned meek as a lamb and blinked with the most pitiful expression imaginable.

In more ways than one, he was a sable I could communicate with.