Super Tycoon: I Beg You, Stop Pulling Stunts

Early the next morning.

Lin Chu boarded a high-speed train home. The journey would take him from Peng City to Yang City, then to the local city, then the town, and finally to his village. His destination was a small coastal hamlet called Longwei Village, right on the shore of the Qiongzhou Strait.

It was located on the border between Guangdong Province and Qiong Island. At night, if you walked along the beach, you could see the skyscrapers of Ye City across the water. Every morning, the villagers were woken by the horns of the cross-strait ferries.

So much so that for many years after, the sound of a ship’s horn would make Lin Chu feel the sudden urge to pee.

But the smell of burning exhaust fumes, especially from a diesel engine, gave him a strange sense of pleasure. He found it fragrant. ’Perhaps it’s the smell of my memories,’ he thought.

A little after two in the afternoon.

After getting off the train at the city station, Lin Chu headed straight for an Audi dealership.

"Hello, I’d like to buy a car."

...

"This one. Do you have it in stock?" 𝗳𝚛𝚎𝚎𝘄𝕖𝕓𝕟𝕠𝚟𝚎𝕝.𝗰𝕠𝐦

...

"I’ll pay by card. Handle the paperwork for me and call me when it’s done."

No test drive, no haggling. In less than half an hour, Lin Chu drove a brand-new Audi A6 out of the dealership. He had said only three sentences the entire time, as if he were at a market buying a head of cabbage.

There was a simple reason for it.

The saleswomen at this dealership were just not good-looking. Not a single one of them was.

’Oh well, I’ll just make do and buy it here,’ he thought.

He had gotten his driver’s license back in his sophomore year of college.

He’d once driven his dad’s BYD F3 on the country roads, getting the fuel economy of a tractor and the speed of a sports car.

And he used to drive for his boss when visiting clients...

Lin Chu was no stranger to driving. But now, owning a car for the first time—and a four-ringed Audi at that—he felt it was just... average.

In any case, it wasn’t really to his taste.

But it was a gift. It didn’t matter if he liked it; all that mattered was that his dad would.

The drive from the city back to the village took nearly an hour.

The sun was at its most vicious when he arrived. Under the old, sacred tree at the entrance to Longwei Village, the lush branches formed a natural sunshade. An extension cord had been run to a fan that was whirring away as several men sat gathered around a card game.

BEEP...

Lin Chu honked the horn.

His eyes had already caught sight of his dad, who had an excited look on his face. His skin was dark and weathered, his frame thin, his hair a mess. He had a cigarette dangling from his lips and a thick gold chain around his neck. Of course, the chain was fake—just for showing off. He wouldn’t even dare go in the ocean with it on, because it would float...

The whole look suddenly reminded Lin Chu of Wang Baoqiang in the movie *Detective Chinatown*, and he couldn’t help but shake his head and smile.

Lin Haifu glanced in his direction but paid it no mind, his attention completely focused on the great hand he was holding.

"BEEP BEEP BEEP!"

Lin Chu honked a couple more times.

Lin Haifu played his hand. It was a strong one, but the player next to him had an even stronger one. He slammed his cards down in frustration and yelled toward the car, "Honk your mother’s..."

Before he could finish the curse, his eyes suddenly shifted. He snatched the few dozen yuan in small bills from the table, along with his lighter and cigarettes, and ran over, his flip-flops slapping against his feet.

The closer he got, the more clearly he could see the face in the driver’s seat.

A smile bloomed across his face like a blossoming jellyfish.

"Son, I’ll fuck your mom!"

That was what his dad yelled in their local dialect, at least, that’s what it meant when translated into Mandarin.

Lin Chu nearly spat out a laugh.

’It sounds like you’re cursing me, but you’re also kind of stating a fact,’ he thought.

He turned off the engine, got out of the car, and swept his dad up into his arms, spinning him around twice just like his dad used to do to him as a kid. Then, grinning cheekily, he patted the hood of the car. "Look! An A6! Your favorite!"

Lin Haifu let out a couple of laughing curses to express his excitement.

"You just buy this?"

he asked.

Lin Chu nodded, a sly grin on his face. "Bought it for you. But I have one condition. Dad, I’ve been calling you ’Dad’ for so many years. How about you call me ’Dad’ just once?"

Lin Haifu: ?

A slap came flying at him. "Fuck your mother!"

Lin Chu: ...

’So much for becoming his dad. I almost got demoted to his grandson,’ Lin Chu thought wryly.

But Lin Haifu had already hopped into the car and was calling his old buddies to go for a joyride and show off.

Sitting in a rocking chair under the tree, Lin Chu lit a cigarette and gazed at the distant horizon. He could faintly hear the men’s excited shouts. He exhaled a long plume of smoke, a knowing smile playing on his lips.

’Returning home in glory!’

’The thrill that comes from this kind of vanity is truly unparalleled. And what’s more, it’s one of the few politically correct forms of vanity in the Chinese moral code.’

[Spent 510,000 yuan on friend Lin Haifu. Rebate received: 1,020,000 yuan]

The virtual panel displayed the text, settling the reward for his recent action.

’Looks like the ten-times multiplier was a bust. Nothing to be done about it,’ he thought.

On the way back, Lin Chu had come up with many schemes, like getting his dad drunk first and then tricking him into calling him "Dad" while he was tipsy.

However, after comparing their drinking capacities, he instantly gave up on that idea.

Lin Haifu was the number one drinker in Longwei Village. During the New Year, he would drink from one party to the next, starting on New Year’s Eve and going all the way to the second or even third day of the new year. He was a true marathon drinker who just kept going.

A lightweight like him trying to get his dad drunk, or even just tipsy, was pure wishful thinking.

’Forget it, forget it. I’ll just make up for the low multiplier with quantity. I’ll just have to buy Dad more gifts,’ he reasoned.

...

Lin Haifu went out for a long joyride. When he returned, one of his old buddies was gone—chucked out somewhere along the way, who knows where. Instead, there was a woman in the passenger seat.

She was an "auntie" in her forties, but she was a handsome woman who still had her charm, and her smile was like a blooming flower.

’If I’m not mistaken, this must be my dad’s old flame...’

Lin Chu had to suppress a laugh.

’And here I was wondering where I got my wandering eye from...’

’Turns out it’s a family heirloom!’

"Son, come on, get in! I’m taking you to a bar tonight!"

Lin Haifu drove the car over, stopped, and shouted with a booming laugh. He looked as triumphant as a scholar who had passed the imperial exams. *Pleased with the spring breeze, my Audi gallops swiftly; tonight, this old man is going to bloom.*

Lin Chu just smiled wordlessly and got in the car.

’Having a dad like this is pretty great, too,’ he thought. ’At least he won’t ask where the money came from.’

It saved him a lot of trouble explaining things.

...

After staying at home for two days, Lin Chu considered buying a house in the city, but after thinking it over, he realized it would be inconvenient in many ways.

The family house had just been renovated two years ago. It had a vegetable garden out back, the sea was less than five hundred meters out front, and there were fruit trees on both sides. The property was nearly an acre. Although it had a rustic-style decor, it was very comfortable to live in.

’Why bother with all that?’

’If he really lived in the city, with no friends and without such a great natural environment, he’d probably lose a few years off his life.’

’The practical thing to do is buy him some good liquor and good cigarettes. He’s definitely not quitting those two things, so if he’s going to drink and smoke, he might as well have the good stuff. At least it’s a little better for his health.’

Two cases of Maotai and three cartons of Zhonghua cigarettes a month—that was the limit Lin Chu set. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to buy more; he was afraid his dad would overdo it.

’Next, I should find him a wife. Dad likes women with good figures and big butts.’

’Great minds think alike. I like them too.’

As he thought about this...

Lin Chu didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. ’Oh, Dad, you really should be the one calling me Dad!’

...

...