I'm an Unknown Actress, But Everyone Knows Me

***

Whatneededtobefilmednowwasthescenewheretheybecametrappedinsideatinyutilityroomwithinthewarehouse.fcourse,becausetheshoothadtobesetupfromvariousangles,theactualspacewasmuchlargerthanwhatappearedonscreen.

satbetweenthemetalshelvesoneithersideofmeandcheckedtheangles.

“Yeoreum,movealittlefartherforward.”

“ere?”

“Wouldn’titbebetterifyouleanedbackjustalittle?fyousitlikethis,thefloor’shardandyourback’sgonnahurt....”

Seoden,sittingbehindme,spokequietly.thoughtforamomentbeforeshakingmyhead.

“fyousuddenlygottrappedinadarkplacewiththeguyyousecretlylike,howcouldyoucomfortablyleanagainsthim?’lljustkeepmybackstiff.”

hatwasthekindofpostureyou’donlyseeafterdatingforatleastthreemonths.DirectorByeonJuhwanoddedatmywords.

“AndYeoreum,tiltyourheadback.”

Moodwasthemostimportantthinginakissscene.

fbothpeoplewerestiff,viewerswouldlaugh.fitcrossedthelinetoomuch,they’dchangethechannel.

Sincewewerebeingcalledakiddiecouple,ithadtofeelappropriatelyawkwardandcute.hiswasascenemeanttoshowthatyouthful,ticklishexcitementpeoplehadforgotten.

“But...thehands...whatdowedowiththehands?”

Seodenasked.

amPyeonghwaslightlyturnedaroundtomeetJeonSegye’seyes,thentheirlipsgraduallydrewcloser.heflowwasnatural,butthepositioningwasdifficult.

Bothofushadtokisswhilesittingdown,andbecauseitwasawarehouse,therewasn’tmuchscenerywecouldpullintotheshot.

ntheend,allthatwouldreallybevisiblewasSeoden’sfaceandmine,ourbacks,sideprofiles,andmaybeourhands.

Becausetherewasnothingelsearoundus,theimmersiondoubledinstead.heaudience’sattentionwouldfocusentirelyonthetwoofus.

“Shouldwejustgowithsomethingsimple?thinkcoveringbothcheekswouldlookbest.”

“henwhataboutyou,Yeoreum?”

“’llholdontothecoat.ikethis.”

SinceitwasamPyeonghwa’sfirstkiss,thoughtitwouldbebettertokeepgrippingSeoden’scoat—theoneweweresharinglikeablanket—toproperlyshowhernervousness.

“ryputtingyourhandupfirst,den-ah.”

AtDirectorByeon’swords,Seodenquicklyrubbedhishandstogether.

“Whatareyoudoing?”

“’mworriedmypalmsmightbecold.oldon.”

Aftermassagingeventhetipsofhisfingersandblowingwarmbreathontothem,Seodenfinallyheldmycheeks.

“fusebothhands,yourfacegetscoveredtoomuchbymyleftarm.”

“Shouldonehandsupportthebackofmyneckinstead?Butmyfaceabsolutelycannotgetcovered.”

“Calmdown,Yeoreum.Butthenit’lllooktooexperienced.”

ogetherwithDirectorByeon,grabbedSeoden’sleftarmandadjusteditbackandforth.

BackwhenfilmedthekissscenewithMyeongJeha,myshyandadorablesideprofilegothiddenbehindhisbacksomuchthatitbarelyshowed.

’ddonesomuchmethodactingtoo.ButeveryoneonlyadmiredhowexperiencedMyeongJehalooked,andgotovershadowed.

‘hatcan’thappenagain.’

adjustedtheangleofSeoden’sarm.tmust’velookeddecentbecauseDirectorByeonnodded.

“Keepyoureyesonherlikethat,andloweryourhead,den-ah.”

“-likethis?”

“ower.More.”

“-tohere?”

Maybebecauseitwashisfirstkissscene,Seodenwasmorenervousthaneverbefore.

Whenwetoldhimtolowerhishead,heraisedhisshouldersinstead,creatingtheillusionthathe’dloweredit.

“Absolutelynot!”

firmlypresseddownonSeoden’sshoulders.

“fyoudothis,thekissscenewon’tlookprettyatall.Myfacegetshiddentoo!”

“Sorry....”

“Youhavetopullyourshoulderbladesbackslightlylikethisforittolooknice.”

hiswasmysecondpublickissscene.fthisturnedintocomparisonmemeswithShimJuhwan’smusicvideo,it’dallbeover.

“Seethis?fyourneckstiffensup,thecameracatchesallofit.Youneedtomovenaturally.ikeYeoreumsaid,pullyourshoulderbladesback.”

DirectorByeonputthefootagewe’djustfilmedtemporarilyuponthemonitor.JudgingbyhowredSeoden’searswere,immersionitselfwasfine.Buttheangleswereadisaster....

“Mr.MyeongJehasaiditwashisfirstkissscenetoo,buthewasreally,reallygood....”

Seodenmutteredinconfusion.

Apparentlyhe’dsecretlybeenthinkingofMyeongJehaashiskiss-scenerival.

‘otatall.’

e’dcompletelyfallenforMyeongJehaactinginnocentinthebehind-the-scenescamandpretendingitwashisfirsttime.

‘hatmanisthemostveteranveteranthereis.’

Butcouldn’texactlysaythatoutloud....

“den-ah.Don’tworry.”

“Director....”

“You’renotonlylosinginkissscenes.WhyareyouevencomparingyourselftoMyeongJeha?”

DirectorByeon’scoldlyaccuratewordsmadeSeodenlowerhishead.

“Justassumewe’rethrowingawayafewscenesatfirstandrelax.Sometimesitgetsbetteroncetheatmosphereloosensup.”

“...uh?”

Seodenjoltedinshock.couldfeelhisentirebodytremblingbehindmelikethere’dbeenanearthquake.

“Youjustkeepkissinguntilwegetanokay.”

***

helightingdirectorcheckedthelights.

“owerthebrightnessalittle.”

hebaselightingneededtocreateacoldsenseofisolation.

Beyondthewarehouse,heavyrainpoureddownviolently,andinsidethecold,freezingwarehouse,thetwocharacterswereexposingtheirwoundstoeachother.Morethanever,thesceneneededtofeelchilly.

Afilterwasaddedtothelightingangledatforty-fivedegrees,creatingadarkeratmosphere.Shadowsstretchedlongbesidethetwoseatedfigures.

Akeylightwasaddedneartheirkneesastheyfacedeachother.

hesoftlightingrisingdiagonallyupwardmadetheirfaceslookgentleandclear.

“Alright,ready—.”

herewasstillacertaindistancebetweenthetwotrappedinsidethedarkenclosedroom.tfeltasthoughaninvisiblelinestillfaintlyexistedbetweenthem.

Butifeitheronegatheredjustalittlecourage—

twasthekindoflinethatcouldbecrossedinstantly.

“Action.”

WrappedtogetherbeneathJeonSegye’scoat,amPyeonghwabecameworriedwhensheheardhimcoughingsoftly.heutilityroomwastoocrampedforthetwoofthemtoevensitsidebyside.

heyhadnochoicebuttositbecausetheycouldn’tstandaroundwaitingforhelpforever,buteventhen,aslightdistancestillremainedbetweenthem.

“Representative.et’ssharethistogether.”

“t’sfine.”

“Butifyoucatchacold....”

“don’tcatchcolds—ah-C!”

“....”

AtJeonSegye’ssneeze,amPyeonghwasilentlymovedcloserbyaboutahandspan.

osharethelargecoatthatfeltalmostlikeablanket,shehadtopresscloseenoughthatitfeltasifshewereinhisarms.

hump.hump.hump.

herewasnoaddedsoundeffectonset.Butsomehow,everyonefeltliketheycouldheartheheartbeatofthetwocharacters.

“Feelsalittlebetternow,right?”

AtamPyeonghwa’swords,JeonSegyefrozeandcouldn’tanswer.

hankfully,he’dleftthewatchhealwaysworechargingonhisdesk.isheartbeatwasatthelevelwheresomeonemight’vecalled119.

“....”

“....”

hetwosatsilentlyforamoment.

nefocusedonthescentofperfumecomingfromthemanbehindher.heotherstaredatthesmallshouldersofthewomaninfrontofhim.

amPyeonghwaspokefirst.

“Whenwaslittle,reallyhatedrainydays.”

Afterquietlylisteningtotherain,shesuddenlyspokeasthoughrememberingsomething.

“Why?”

“Myparentsdiedearly,somygrandmotherraisedme.Sinceshehadtoworktomakemoney,endedupdoingallthehousework.”

amPyeonghwasmiledfaintly,asthoughembarrassed.

“Doyouknowhowclothesneverdryproperlyduringmonsoonseasonifthehousedoesn’tventilatewell?”

“....”

“Myschoolwasfarfromhome,somyclotheswouldgetsoakedonthewaythereandback...buttheclothesathomewouldn’tdryeither.hadnochoicebuttoweardampclothes,andthekidsittingnexttomemovedtheirdeskaway.” 𝕗𝕣𝐞𝐞𝘄𝐞𝚋𝚗𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗹.𝚌𝕠𝚖

amPyeonghwaquietlyrevisitedthepast.

“thinkthat’swhenitstarted.maginingtheclotheswantedtowear.hinkingaboutsoft,fluffytexturesmademefeelalittlelessmiserable.”

“....”

“Maybethat’swhyendedupgettingajobinDongdaemun.Becausethereweresomanyclothesthere.Withoutevenrealizingit.”

JeonSegyequietlylistenedtoherwords.

“Cometothinkofit,’mreallywearingthosekindsofclothesnow.hekindsusedtoonlyimagineinmyhead.”

AftersilentlylisteningtoamPyeonghwa’svoice,JeonSegyealsospoke.

“haterainydaystoo.”

“Why,Representative?”

“trainedthedaywasborn.”

isvoicecarriedasighunlikebefore.heendofhisloweredvoicecrackedslightly.

“Myfatherwenttoherinstead.egotacallsayingmysecondolderbrotherwassick.heysaidmymothersufferedthroughadifficultlaborthatday.wentyhoursofcontractions.Alone.”

twasaconfessionfilledwithpain.isroughvoicesoundedasthoughhewerediggingintoawoundthatstillhadn’thealed.

“Afterthat,itrainedeverysingleyearonmybirthdaytoo.Withoutfail.Wheneverthatdaycame,mymotherwouldgohalfinsaneandcryeveryday.Maybethat’swhy...whenhearrain,itsoundsmixedtogetherwithcrying.”

JeonSegyequietlycontinued.

“Youknow&usedtobecalledSeongunroupbeforetheychangedthename,right?”

“Yeah....”

“SomyoriginalnamewasalmostgoingtobeUju.BecausetheywantedmetoembraceSeongun.thinkmymotherstilllivesinthosedays.nmybirthdayshecriesandsays,‘Uju-ah,whatshouldwedo?Yourfatherwillstillloveyou.t’lldefinitelyhappen....’Shekeepsforgettingmycurrentname.guessifcan’tembraceSeongun,’mcompletelyuseless.”

Severaltimes,JeonSegyecouldn’tcontinuespeakingproperly.

“hisyear’sreallyadisaster.otinheritingthegroupandnotbeingloved...nownotonlymymotherbuttheentireworldknowsit.”

JeonSegyelaughedwhilesayinghisownnamelikeajoke.

amPyeonghwacouldn’tseehisfacebecausehewasturnedaway,butshecouldtellhewastryingtopretendhewasfine.

“gotcaughtbeingpathetic.”

AtJeonSegye’swords,amPyeonghwaturnedaround.

Asherupperbodytwisted,JeonSegye’schest—previouslynottouchingher—brushedagainstthethinfabricofherblouse.

heirbodytemperaturesgraduallybecamealike.

“You’renotpathetic,Representative.”

“Whatpartofmeisn’t?”

“Attheveryleast,youremployeesandbelieveinyou.Andyou’reagoodpersontoo....”

amPyeonghwa’stransparent,cleareyeslookeddirectlyatJeonSegye.

helightingdirectorstaredatanYeoreum’sfaceandthoughtaboutthedifferencebetweenfilmandtelevision.

herewasauniquecolorpalettedramascouldneverfullyreplicatenomatterhowhardtheytried.oamountofpost-processingcouldrecreatethedepthcreatedonset.

Filmsoftenshotonlytwoorthreescenesaday.helightingteamspenthoursadjustingeverythingaccordingtotheangleofthesunandevencarefullyshapingtheshadowsonactors’faces.

hedarkshadowsuniquetofilmsdeepenedimmersion.

alfofafacesinkingintoshadow.Backlightingheighteningtheaudience’stension.

Meanwhile,dramashadtoshootfifteentotwentyscenesaday.herewasnotimetomovelightingsetupsforeverychanging❀оvеlігht❀(Don’tcopy,readhere)angle.venifthelighthitdifferentlyfromtherightandleft,theystillhadtocallokay.

Andindramas,theactor’sfaceitselfwastheproduct.Aboveallelse,theactorhadtolookgoodfromeveryangle.

ButanYeoreum—

“You’renotsomeoneunlovedeither.”

amPyeonghwastaredatJeonSegyewithunwaveringeyesthatneveroncebrokefocus.

Andsomehow,shecrossedtheboundarybetweendramaandfilm,changingtheairitself.tfeltasthoughallthelightinthespacehadgatheredinsidehereyesandbegunsparkling.

venthoughtheangleswerenolongerthesameaswhenthelightshadfirstbeeninstalled.venthoughthecamerapositionchangedagainandagainwhileanYeoreumandthelightingstayedwheretheywere.

hatoverwhelmingimmersionuniquetofacingamassivecinemascreen.

Actingthatmadeviewersfeelnotasthoughtheyweremerelywatchingthecharacters,butunderstandingthem.

hatwaswhatanYeoreumwasdoingrightnow.

“....”

Slowly,thetwopressedtheirlipstogether.

Accordingtotheflowofthescript,everyoneshouldhavefeltaflutteringexcitementfromtheemotionalkissscene.

ButanYeoreum’seyes,hervoice,amPyeonghwa’sentireexpressionasshelookedatJeonSegye—

Madetheviewersfeeltendernessinstead.

ikeamovie.

ikeascenefromamasterpiecediscussedendlesslyforgenerations.

***

“kay!”

AtDirectorByeon’ssignal,slowlypulledmylipsaway.

Cometothinkofit,Seoden’slefthand—whichwasoriginallysupposedtostayrestingonhisthigh—hadendedupcoveringthebackofmyhand.

‘...Uh....’

lookedupatthesparklinglightaboveSeoden’shead.

D+

Seodenhadgrownstronger.

iseyeslookedasthoughhewerefinallyabouttotrulybecomeJeonSegyefromnowon.