I'm an Unknown Actress, But Everyone Knows Me

“Hwayeong?”

A woman in shabby, plain clothes came out with a welcoming smile. She must have been simmering something, because heat had risen to her face.

Hwayeong raised her index finger to her lips, signaling her to be quiet.

“Even when I tell you every time you don’t have to pack things for me.... I feel bad, though.”

When she saw the wrapping cloth in Hwayeong’s hands, the woman gave an embarrassed smile. Hwayeong furrowed her brow and snapped, her voice trembling at the end even as she forced it into a whisper.

“You—what did your mother-in-law make you do again? What did she have you do that your face is this red?”

“Ah.... I was just boiling some medicinal herbs. They said she might’ve caught a cold.”

“That old hag! She’s ten times sturdier than you. With how vicious the hand is that yanks your hair day in and day out, and she’s pretending she’s sick?”

“Don’t say it like that. How devastated must she be. Her only son, raised so carefully... and then he... went like that.”

Bitterness seeped into the woman’s smile. Hwayeong bit her lip.

“Listen to me. Carefully.”

Without lowering the hand holding the wrapping cloth, Hwayeong grabbed both of the woman’s hands. The hands of a refined courtesan and the hands of a rough widow locked together.

“Run.”

For a single instant, desperation gave weight to Hwayeong’s voice.

“Soyeong, run. You—you can’t stay in Heavenly Vein Land.”

The woman called Soyeong shook her head briefly.

“Where would I go, Hwayeong?”

“Anywhere! Anywhere is better than here. A hundred times, a thousand times better. You think there’s nowhere you can lay down that one body of yours?”

“Then what about Mother....”

At those words, Hwayeong roughly flung her hands away. Then she yanked out, irritably, the silver butterfly hairpin stuck in her hair. She pulled it free and forced it into Soyeong's hand.

“Don’t say things like that! Just go, will you! Go!”

“...But you’re here too.”

Soyeong smiled like an idiot.

“You and Mother are both here, and you’re both here—how can I go? Where would I even go....”

“Idiot. Are you really an idiot? I—I mean, those little kids....”

“I’m the same, Hwayeong.”

Just as Hwayeong cared for the young courtesan girls as if they were family, Soyeong, too, was caring for the mother-in-law who’d been left all alone as if she were family.

Their gazes—so alike, yet so different—intertwined, aching.

“If we just hold on, it’ll get better. You, and me.”

“...Even when you were poor, you still refused to be sold into a courtesan house, and I thought at least I’d get to see you married. I never thought you’d end up living like this—like an idiot.”

Tears welled in Hwayeong’s eyes. She couldn’t even raise her voice, afraid Soyeong's mother-in-law might hear.

Because a flower that could speak like a person wasn’t allowed to speak loudly.

“Being dragged around by the hair because they say you ‘ate your husband,’ getting beaten...! Doing every kind of menial chore they throw at you—I never thought you’d live like that...! Is this really the life you want to live in Heavenly Vein Land? Huh?”

Even at the harsh words, Soyeong smiled gently.

Bang!

That was when it happened. The door flew open with a racket, and Soyeong's mother-in-law appeared.

“You little bitch! Where do you think you’re—huh? Well, well? You! You slut!”

“Mother...!”

Soyeong's face went dead pale.

“Hurry and go, Hwayeong. Hurry!”

The hand shoving at Hwayeong’s back was frantic. After pressing even the wrapping cloth Hwayeong had brought back into her hands, Soyeong rushed to her mother.

“So you’ve been feeding me food that filthy thing brought over this whole time? You brazen little wretch, you shameless little—!”

“No, Mother. I just greeted her once because she was passing by, that’s all...!”

“You think I’m a complete fool, don’t you! Of course you would—woman who ate her husband!”

With her hair seized in her mother-in-law’s fist, Soyeong met Hwayeong’s eyes. Go. Quickly. That was what her face said as she sent Hwayeong off.

How could the lives of two girls who’d grown up poor be this miserable even after they became women? Leaving behind the sounds of Soyeong being beaten, Hwayeong’s steps back toward the courtesan house were wretched.

One lone butterfly hairpin, rolling as if it would be swallowed by the dirt, looked especially desolate.

“Heh heh heh....”

As Hwayeong trudged toward the courtesan house, a woman came limping from far off, her hair completely loose. In her arms, she clutched two bundles of old clothes.

People nearby whispered quietly.

Some wore pitying expressions, others frowned.

“My Janghwa, my Hongryeon... shall we go look at flowers with Mother? Yes?”

It was the stepmother of the sisters who had taken their own lives, Janghwa and Hongryeon.

“Let’s go down to the water and do splash splash-, and put flower rings and flower bracelets on our hands-. Let’s have fun, yes?”

Her voice, tender as if speaking to a small child, soon began to tremble. She stared hard at Hwayeong, then charged straight at her.

“Janghwa! Hongryeon! Janghwa! Hongryeon!”

She wasn’t sane, spilling words in a rush.

“Where are my kids? Huh? Have you seen my kids? Where are my girls? Huh? You’ve seen ’em, right? Seen ’em? You did, right? Huh?”

Tears streamed down from the stepmother’s eyes as she grabbed Hwayeong with filthy hands and screamed.

“Let go of me!”

Hwayeong shook her off with a look of utter revulsion.

“My babies! My babies, you hurt? Yes, it’s okay, Mommy’s here. Don’t cry. There, there.”

In an instant, the stepmother flattened herself on the ground and hugged the old-clothes bundles sprawled there as if they were her children.

Hwayeong tossed the wrapping cloth she was holding into the woman’s arms as if throwing it at her.

The knot came loose, and the food inside bounced out and fell in little plops.

“Either eat a meal while you wander around looking for your kids, or don’t! You’re skin and bones.”

Brushing dirt off her grimy clothes with her hands, the stepmother rolled her lips inward. Hwayeong knew this woman hadn’t always been like this.

The stepmother of Janghwa and Hongryeon... who used to smile kindly even at a lowly courtesan....

“What’s all this, hmm. There’s pumpkin pancakes Janghwa likes, and mung-bean rice cakes our Hongryeon likes.”

Unwrapping the cloth on the filthy dirt ground, the stepmother returned once again to the sisters ★ 𝐍𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 ★ with a gentle, motherly voice—

Still hugging the bundles of old clothes tight to her chest.

“Yes, take this and let’s go out. My babies....”

Stuffing dirt-smeared food into her mouth with one hand, the stepmother beamed.

“I always give the tasty things to Mother first, oh, my pretty babies.... My sweet-hearted, precious babies....”

Crying and laughing, cramming dirty food into her mouth until her cheeks bulged—she, too, was not a person.

Watching the stepmother rub her cheek affectionately against the bundles of old clothes, Hwayeong hurried her steps and muttered.

“Here or there... it’s nothing but animals everywhere....”

With a self-mocking laugh, Hwayeong returned to the brothel, where the young girls greeted her.

“Big Sister! Where did you go!”

“Hwayeong, Big Sister!”

The girls who came trotting over like chicks chattered at her from all sides.

“Big Sister! Why did you take out your hairpin? It suits you so well.”

“Your jacket got dirty! Please take it off. I’ll wash it for you!”

“Geumji, you just want to secretly try on Hwayeong Big Sister’s clothes again, don’t you?”

“N-no I don’t! You’re the one—didn’t you secretly put on Hwayeong Big Sister’s ring twice?”

As she looked at the bickering girls, sorrow settled into Hwayeong’s eyes.

The little ones I have to protect....

Rooted in Heavenly Vein Land, are we destined to sway in the wind like this, until someone’s hand snaps us off—until we become nothing but young courtesan flowers?

Creeeak....

With the forlorn sound of the door, the brothel’s door closed.

* * *

Seoryeong sat blankly in front of Jeongan’s grave, where the earth had been piled high. Her small white hands were completely caked in dirt.

“...”

Deep in the mountains, where wild grass grew thick, Jeongan had returned to nothingness. Sitting by the grave, Seoryeong gave a small, bitter laugh. Then she spoke to Jeongan, who lay sleeping in that grave.

“You... weren’t even curious about my name?”

Jeongan and Seoryeong were nothing to each other. Not blood, not master and disciple, not friends. And because of that, Seoryeong couldn’t set her heart down.

Seoryeong was useful enough. With the divine power imprisoned inside her body, she could do anything.

A hundred talismans written with a thousand shamans offering up their souls still couldn’t match a single talisman Seoryeong scribbled down carelessly.

The restraining device fitted around her arm suppressed her divine power, but if she made up her mind, she could still peer into someone else’s past and future however she pleased.

Seoryeong was a shamaness with nothing to fear in this world.

“Leaving without even saying goodbye... must’ve been so easy for you.”

From childhood, she had been used again and again, and she’d thought Jeongan, too, was simply one of them.

That monk pretending to be without desire would surely use her at least once.

And when that happened, she would kill her without hesitation. That was the child who’d ground her teeth like that—yet for such a long time, long enough for her to decide, at least once, to be fooled, Jeongan had been simply Jeongan to Seoryeong.

Not a mother. Not a relative. Not a teacher. Not a friend.

“Because you don’t have to drag someone like me around anymore.”

Just Jeongan.

Why had she kept her by her side for so long? Seoryeong traced the bracelet of the restraining device Jeongan had made for her.

Her fingers slowed as they touched the crude bracelet engraved with the character “Spirit.”

Seoryeong’s throat bobbed pitifully as she swallowed back the hot emotion surging up in waves.

A clear bell tone rang out—like a wooden gong. The sound of a wind chime came with it. And at the same time, the waists of the wild grass bent in one direction. From far away, she sensed someone approaching.

A cool wind blew, as if stroking Seoryeong’s cheek. Stray hairs at the nape of Seoryeong’s neck fluttered in that gentle wind.

“...Jeongan?”

Forgetting even the harsh words she’d just spoken, Seoryeong scrambled in that direction. On Jeongan’s grave, there was a neatly placed pair of flower-patterned shoes.

* * *

Myungdo trudged steadily along the rough mountain path. At some point, he realized the scenery had become strange. Branches, wild grass, even wildflowers—all of them had turned their heads to one side.

As if they were signposts.

As if the world surrounding Myungdo was telling him: go there.

“...”

Just as he had on the day he met the nun fifteen days ago, Myungdo took a handkerchief from his chest. One of the nun’s talismans tucked with it came out as well.

Rustle-.

Holding the talisman in his hand, Myungdo tied the handkerchief to a high tree branch.

For the road back.

Before he knew it, from the very edge of the sky, the sun was slowly beginning to erase itself.

“After fifteen days, set your steps to the east. If you go to where the sun is closest, you will meet the one who will guide everything according to the natural order.”

Myungdo tightened his grip on the nun’s talisman. As he moved to tuck it back into his chest, the sun slid over the ground where Myungdo stood.

Like a final struggle, scorching sunlight poured down on him.

Having reached the highest point of the mountain, Myungdo was, in this very moment, the closest to the sun.

Saaaaa-. The wind blew, and he heard leaves colliding, body against body.

Drrrk, drrr drrrk.... Under Myungdo’s feet, he heard something writhing.

He hurriedly stepped back.

And that was when it happened.