I Want to Be a VTuber

"It's okay."

Staring at her reflection on the screen, Lee Jiyeon tried to steady her trembling hands.

She had a feeling that sharp-eyed girl would notice, especially at times like this.

The 'Yeon Seonye' reflected on the screen looked like her, yet was someone entirely different.

And yet, that face was one Jiyeon was intimately familiar with.

"You don’t have to act like it's something new."

That was ❀ Nоvеlігht ❀ (Don’t copy, read here) what Seoyeon had said when asked about Yeon Seonye’s emotional depth.

"It’s just a variation of what you’ve already done. I learned it from a theater actor once."

Deceiving the audience.

Using similar emotional beats to make them recall the idea of an emotion.

Yeon Seonye was a tough, yet kind girl.

A kind Lee Jiyeon.

To be honest, she wasn’t confident she could pull that off.

"If I were to borrow it—"

The image of a kind girl that came to mind was, ironically, a character from an internet broadcast she had started with Seoyeon.

Lamiel.

Seoyeon must have been thinking about that when she spoke.

"How ridiculous."

The audience probably wouldn’t notice.

That Yeon Seonye's tone of acting was nearly identical to that of a certain VTuber.

Especially when she listened to Michiko’s troubles—Yeon Seonye was just like Lamiel.

"But."

That alone wouldn’t be enough.

She kept deliberating, and that uncertainty bled into the reflection of Yeon Seonye on the screen.

Yeon Seonye had a task.

Steal the necklace.

Kill Michiko.

Even though she had to do it to save her younger sibling, Yeon Seonye hesitated.

She knew where the necklace was. She just needed to do it.

Yet, her face on screen was caught in the turmoil of indecision.

It overlapped with the emotions Jiyeon felt at that moment, a feeling so raw it seemed to seep beyond the screen itself.

"Do not entertain foolish thoughts."

Isamu’s low voice filled the theater.

A heavy score.

And a voice that carried weight equal to the gravity of that music.

His eyes gleamed ominously in the candlelight as he stared down at Yeon Seonye.

"You need only do your job."

From his perspective, Yeon Seonye was about to ruin everything.

They were almost there.

"If you don’t want your hesitation to be discovered... then, yes, it would be best if you were the one to kill Yuina first."

A life spent solely for revenge against the Amamabi family, who had abandoned her.

A miserable existence that had led her to throw herself at the enemy—the Kasugayama family—just to survive.

"Yuina has already begun to suspect your betrayal. So, if you don’t want to die, it would be wise for you to draw your blade first."

The fact that she might throw everything away over something as trivial as emotions made it difficult for even him to remain composed.

Seeing that, Yeon Seonye swallowed dryly.

"If you kill Yuina, I’ll pay you several times what I promised before. Enough to live idly for the rest of your life. What do you say? It’s a profitable deal, isn’t it? More money than you’d ever touch in your wretched existence."

His words, laced with madness, made Yeon Seonye slowly nod.

Not because she agreed.

But because she felt like she would die if she didn’t.

"Seonye."

Michiko, gazing at the wavering Yeon Seonye.

She already knew her purpose.

"You look exhausted. Is work that difficult?"

"No, my lady."

"That’s good to hear."

It was a night like any other.

Before going to bed, as Michiko bid Yeon Seonye goodnight, she spoke.

"I heard your younger sibling is ill."

"Pardon?"

"I looked into it a little. They’re hospitalized in the capital."

Seonye swallowed dryly.

She never imagined Michiko would bring up her sibling.

Because they weren’t unrelated to this.

Everything Yeon Seonye was doing was for them.

So...

"I also heard they’re awaiting surgery."

"Y-yes."

"If you’re okay with it, I could cover the cost of the surgery."

"...What?"

"Why are you so surprised? Do you think I wouldn’t? It may be a fortune to you, but to me, it’s not much at all. You don’t need to feel burdened by it."

Michiko said it as if it was truly nothing.

For a moment, Yeon Seonye was at a loss for words.

Michiko was right—this amount of money probably meant little to her.

But Seonye had never expected her to offer it this way.

"Then... may I ask that favor? If you really would, I swear I will spend my life repaying this debt..."

"I didn’t say this to hear something so dramatic. Alright, if you consent, I’ll inform the doctor as well."

With that, Michiko gave a small nod.

A silent signal that she could leave now.

Yeon Seonye bowed and left the room, quietly shutting the door behind her.

She took a few steps before leaning against the wall and collapsing.

"What am I supposed to do?"

She buried her face in her hands.

"What am I supposed to do now?"

The justification of needing to save her sibling had vanished.

At that moment, Yeon Seonye realized.

She no longer had any intention of killing Michiko.

Her gaze drifted to her hands.

She recalled the image of Yuina tending to her wounds.

Telling her not to lie.

If she quit now... what would happen?

They’d definitely send someone else to kill Michiko.

And not as gently as this time.

Even Goto Isamu had suggested as much.

"Right."

Her sibling would recover.

That was enough.

Then, what remained was up to her.

Yeon Seonye lightly slapped her own cheeks.

No plan came to mind.

But even if Goto Isamu wasn’t an option—maybe Yuina had a way.

If she could quell her hatred, perhaps...

And so.

"......"

Staggering to her feet, Yeon Seonye disappeared into the night.

From the darkness, Michiko watched silently before turning back to her room.

*****

"Michiko!"

A sharp, almost screaming voice cut through the crowd’s murmur.

"Are you out of your damn mind?!"

Yeon Seonye and Michiko had gone out together.

It started as a simple outing.

Browsing goods, occasionally making purchases.

A normal outing.

Yet, an odd tension hung in the air.

The relationship between Michiko and Yeon Seonye.

Even as they smiled, the conflict between them was undeniable.

So, the background music wasn’t light.

The kind that made the audience hold their breath.

And then—Yuina appeared.

She stormed forward, knocking her pipe from her grip, and grabbed Michiko by the collar, slamming her against a wall.

"You should be happy, Yuina. You’ve wanted me dead for so long. I’m telling you—I’ll give back everything I took from you."

"Ever since we were kids, you were always like this. Overthinking everything, acting like the world was out to get you. You’re so arrogant, Michiko. You had everything, yet acted like you lost it all. I hated that about you."

"Had everything? What did I have? I never wanted any of it. It was my parents who wanted it. Your parents who wanted you to have it!"

"You only say that because you’ve never lost anything, Amamabi Michiko."

With those words, their scuffle began.

But Michiko was no match for Yuina.

Yuina’s family controlled multiple yakuza groups.

Naturally, she was strong enough to handle rough men.

Michiko, a mere noblewoman, had no chance.

"Stop this—Ah?!"

And then, Yeon Seonye crashed into Yuina’s head.

"Stop bullying my lady, you damned bitch!!"

As she rolled across the ground, Yuina stared in disbelief.

She never imagined Yeon Seonye would attack like this.

And as Seonye grabbed Michiko’s hand and ran, laughing at their disheveled state—

Yuina clenched the dirt beneath her fingers.

Silently picked up her fallen pipe.

And stood alone.

*****

The Conflict in the Marketplace.

The events at the auction house.

Though the distance between them slowly narrowed, their conflicts had yet to be fully resolved.

Michiko knew that in order to resolve Yeon Seonye’s situation, she had to die.

It wasn’t as if she had anything left to hold on to in life.

She thought that this was enough.

The family fortune? She couldn't care less.

If it were to fall into Yuina’s hands, that wouldn’t be too bad either.

However, she couldn’t understand why Yuina had tried to stop her from dying.

Hadn’t you wanted to kill me?

"Are you insane?!"

Just as she was about to leap out of the window, Yeon Seonye grabbed her from behind and yanked her back, sending them both tumbling to the floor.

The thought that she might lose the resolve to die terrified Michiko, so she forcefully pushed Yeon Seonye away in a panic.

"Yes, I’m insane. So just let me die."

"How the hell am I supposed to do that?!"

An eruption of raw emotion.

For the first time, Yeon Seonye displayed the most intense expression of emotion in her entire performance.

The audience held their breath.

"I... I’m a terrible woman."

"I was just an idiot who thought my problems were the biggest in the world."

"I got completely swept away for a few coins, just a foolish, spineless woman. So why the hell should you die for someone like me?!"

At the start of the film, her presence had been weak.

Yeon Seonye hadn't felt like the protagonist at all.

Now, she was overwhelming.

Critic Kang Yuseok realized he had been wrong.

Until now, he had thought her acting was merely average.

But this was different.

Yeon Seonye’s performance was pulling the entire audience into its depths.

Including him.

How?

Before watching this film, he had researched actress Lee Jiyeon.

At most, she had appeared in a few cable dramas.

Even there, her performances hadn’t been particularly noteworthy.

Compared to those real actors—those who could shine even as minor roles or extras—she had seemed utterly unremarkable.

That was what he had believed.

Kang Yuseok stopped thinking and let himself be absorbed into the scene.

Missing even a second of this over trivial thoughts would be his own loss.

"The final scenes we shot in Japan."

Jiyeon, watching the climax of the film, suddenly realized that her hands were trembling.

To be honest, she wasn’t sure if she had done a good job.

At the time, she had thought she was giving it her all.

But the anger directed at Michiko in this scene wasn’t truly meant for Michiko.

It was closer to anger at herself.

Yeon Seonye’s fury wasn’t aimed at another person—it was aimed at herself.

How ridiculous.

She had agonized over this scene.

Really, truly agonized.

"This is a difficult scene."

Jo Sehee had said that when they were filming.

"I just need to show Michiko’s shock and shed a few tears in response to Yeon Seonye’s emotions. That’s all I need to do."

Of course, even that wasn’t easy.

It only seemed easy because Jo Sehee was the one saying it.

Jiyeon knew that Sehee tended to underestimate herself.

But that was because her ambitions were sky-high.

She was always chasing after that "starlight-like" actress she admired.

"Yeon Seonye has to be furious here. And she has to cry. Can you do that? Can you cry on the spot?"

"If I use eyedrops..."

"Yeah, that could work. But we'll have to see how it looks on camera."

Tear acting.

How many actors could summon tears on command?

Seriously.

Jiyeon stared at the eyedrops in her hand, lost in thought.

Even seven-year-old Ju Seoyeon could do it.

She let out a quiet laugh.

It reminded her of something that had happened just three years ago.

Five or six years after Seoyeon had disappeared.

Jiyeon had entered middle school and started acting in earnest.

It was just a minor role in a cable drama, but still—

"Ah, her crying scene is awkward."

"Well, she’s still inexperienced. Can’t be helped."

"It’s not an important scene. Should we just cut it?"

"She’s just a minor role anyway."

That was what the staff had said.

Unfortunately, the scene had required her to cry.

So the scene was cut.

Because Jiyeon’s crying was too awkward.

One of her few scenes had been erased, and that night, she actually cried for real.

"It’s fine. You’ll do better next time."

Seoyeon had comforted her.

It was a simple, generic reassurance.

And Seoyeon probably didn’t know what else to say.

But that day, Jiyeon had been furious.

Not at Seoyeon—at herself.

"You don’t get it."

Maybe it was because she was going through puberty.

"You think acting is easy, don’t you?"

Without realizing it, she had snapped at Seoyeon.

"How can you cry so easily? What does it even mean to put emotions into your lines? I can’t do it. No matter how hard I try, I can’t. I can’t do something you could do when you were just seven!"

Seven-year-old Ju Seoyeon.

Princess Yeonhwa, saying her final farewell to Yun Seil under the evening sky.

Smiling warmly, tears glistening like sunlight.

Jiyeon had seen that performance as a child and thought—

One day, I want to act like that too.

Seven years had passed since then, yet she still couldn't even imagine pulling off something like that.

Delivering lines with real emotion.

Crying naturally on cue.

"Forget it. I’m leaving."

Seoyeon had looked taken aback.

Jiyeon turned away and walked off.

She had wandered aimlessly for a long time.

She had been too ashamed to go home.

Her parents had been so proud of her for landing a role in a drama.

How could she tell them she had failed even in her few seconds on screen?

Late at night, in a park.

Her phone kept ringing, so she turned it off.

She simply stared blankly at the sky.

The stars twinkled above her.

They called celebrities "stars."

Maybe because even from far away, they still shone.

But there must be countless other stars in the sky that couldn’t be seen from here.

Those that didn’t shine bright enough to be noticed.

"I found you."

"!?"

She had been sitting on a bench when suddenly, Seoyeon plopped down beside her.

Back then, Seoyeon had seemed more like a boy.

Like an even mix of masculine and feminine.

She had preferred pants over skirts.

"...Why did you come looking for me?"

Seoyeon didn’t say anything.

She simply smiled faintly at her.

"Because it’s frustrating."

"What?"

"I wasn’t just saying it to be nice."

Seoyeon’s voice was unusually serious.

"You’re more talented than you think."

"...What are you talking about?"

"You speak better than I do. You understand people more easily."

Seoyeon started listing Jiyeon’s strengths, one after another.

And she wasn’t just saying it to make her feel better.

She meant it.

Seoyeon genuinely believed Jiyeon had talent.

Some people say—

There’s nothing more foolish than chasing a dream when you don’t have talent.

That wasn’t wrong.

But wasn’t it too early to give up?

If you didn’t even try, wouldn’t that be a waste?

Even if it got harder later—

Even if it became exhausting—

Wouldn’t it be better to at least try while you still could?

"But that has nothing to do with acting. Acting is hard."

"It’s supposed to be hard. If it were easy, everyone would be an actor."

"...That’s actually a good point. Why are you suddenly so wise, Ju Seoyeon?"

Jiyeon muttered, then hesitated.

It was embarrassing.

"Sorry for whining."

"Yeah."

Seoyeon responded as if it was nothing.

Jiyeon let out a sigh.

Then, warmth touched her hand.

She looked down—

Seoyeon’s hand was resting on hers.

"You were trembling."

Oddly enough, her hands stopped shaking.

"I must be annoying."

"It’s fine."

"Why?"

"Because we’re childhood friends."

Jiyeon was speechless.

For a moment, she didn’t know what to say.

Then, Seoyeon spoke quietly.

"I’m going back to acting when I enter high school."

"...What?"

"I mean, as an actor."

Jiyeon had told her to return to acting many times.

And Seoyeon had always refused.

She thought Seoyeon had completely given up on it.

But that wasn’t the case.

"So."

Under the starlit sky, Seoyeon smiled brightly at her.

"When that happens, want to shoot a movie together?"

Let’s be actors together.

More than any consolation, those words reached Jiyeon’s heart.

Enough to make her forget all the pressure and fear.

Because they were childhood friends.

Because it felt like a promise that they would stay together.

"...Depends on how you do, Ju Seoyeon."

Of course, she couldn’t help being a little tsundere about it.

_______________________

TL Notes: Tsundere (ツンデレ) is a Japanese term describing a character archetype who initially acts cold, harsh, or irritable (tsuntsun, ツンツン – aloofness, sharpness) but gradually reveals their warm, affectionate, and caring side (deredere, デレデレ – tenderness, affection).