I Am the Hero's Immature Younger Brother

"...Brother... brother..."

Temar couldn’t say a word at the sound of Ren calling for him in that sick, breaking voice.

He had no idea what he was supposed to say.

After losing his comrades’ lives in the seven-year war, he had grown used to loss. The pain of another remaining corner of his heart being cut away had long since gone numb. He had tried that hard not to give his heart away.

But to his crying little brother, to his little brother collapsing under loss—what was he supposed to say to him?

It’s okay. Everybody dies.

If he lived a good life, he’ll be reincarnated.

Though Luman hadn’t, really.

No... then again, he had given his life for the country, so maybe he could be reincarnated.

"That’s what heroes are."

After thinking of all that, this was the only thing he could come up with. Coco stared at Temar in open disbelief, practically condemning him with her eyes.

"...You cannot seriously say something that stupid...!"

At Temar’s words, Ren went completely still.

Frozen like plaster, Ren looked like he had stopped breathing.

"Ren!"

Startled, Coco hurried toward him, and only then did Kirky finally lift his head.

His snow-white hair slipped aside, revealing a face that was smiling. His lips, twitching with mischief, pulled back to show white teeth.

"Kirky! Do something, for—"

Coco whipped her head around and called for Kirky in a panic as she kept calling Ren’s name. But before she could even finish, purple fury swirled in her eyes.

"You insane bastard, you—"

"He’s perfectly alive!"

"..."

"..."

"...Steward! Steward! Pack his things! Send that damn priest back to the temple! A carriage! Get a carriage ready too! Send Priest Kirky straight back to the temple this instant! No, better yet, throw him into the underground storeroom and lock him up!"

"Gah! My lady, why would you do that?! That’s your problem! Why can’t you trust me? Who do you think this Kirky is? I’m a hiiiigh-level priest who can bring even the dead back to life! Isn’t this all because I’m upset no one’s praising me?!"

"You fucking lunatic! Quit spewing bullshit!"

"Aaagh! My lady! Please put down whatever’s in your hand—gaaah!"

Crash! Bang! Clatter!

Coco shouted in fury, then in a rage grabbed the lamp beside the bed. She started wildly swinging it around as she chased Kirky, and with him running for his life, chaos exploded all at once. Coco tore after him like lightning, not caring in the slightest that her violet hair was coming loose.

But who was Kirky?

The High Priest’s biggest headache. A man so hopelessly addicted to pranks that people had seriously wondered whether he might actually be the son of Retolaverius, god of mischief—someone who drove people insane in any situation at all with his tactless, goddamn pranks!

As Kirky fled at frantic, practiced speed, putting all those years of experience to use, a long leg suddenly stuck out, calm and precise.

"Aaagh! S-save me, Lady Coco! No, Lord Seton! How could you trip me—gaaah!"

"Just die! Seriously, die!"

Coco pounced on top of the fallen Kirky and started pounding on his back.

Seton withdrew the leg he had stuck out and let out a sigh.

"Priest. That sort of conduct is a problem. If Lady Coco truly gets angry, you really will have to return to the Grand Temple. And before that, you’ll have to endure the High Priest’s scolding for three days and nights. Please keep in mind that if you play pranks in a serious situation like this, I am fully capable of writing fifty more pages in a report that would make it seven days of scolding."

"Aaagh, Lord Seton, that’s too cruel!"

"You’re the cruel one, you fucking psycho!"

"My lady, please stop. You must maintain your dignity."

But Seton already sounded resigned.

He looked kind of tired.

"I-is that... really true?"

Kirky had been kicking his legs and thrashing around, laughing like this was all hilarious, but the moment he saw Ren’s face, he finally froze.

A tear that had been clinging there dropped.

Kirky—who would’ve been offended not to be called second to none when it came to pranks, who usually chased amusement with no guilt at all—showed the faintest flicker of guilt on his face. Seeing that look, Coco sighed.

"I-I... I’m sorry."

"..."

"N-no! I mean I’m sorry for joking around!! The blond handsome guy is perfectly alive! If a man that handsome died, wouldn’t that be a national loss?! This Kirky does not stand by and allow losses like that!"

"He’s not a handsome guy, he’s a Hero, you idiot."

"Lady Coco, please get off him now."

"Hmph."

At Seton’s call, Coco finally got up off Kirky. She dusted off her skirt and hands, and didn’t forget to shoot him a murderous glare in warning.

"I-it’s true. I may not look it, but I’m actually kind of amazing. He’s totally fine."

"I-is that really true...?"

"Yes! It’s true. Um... I really am sorry."

Kirky scratched his cheek, then lowered his head a little.

"And he still won’t apologize to me."

Kirky turned his head away and pretended not to hear. 𝑓𝑟𝑒𝘦𝓌𝑒𝑏𝑛𝑜𝘷𝑒𝘭.𝒸𝘰𝑚

"Where is he?"

"Ahem. Inside."

The room really was large enough that they simply hadn’t been able to see it, but there was a space farther in, screened off by curtains and partitions. There had been too many maids and servants bustling around for anyone’s attention to reach that far.

"I want to go. I think I need to see his face before I can calm down."

"You should still be resting in bed."

Kirky shook his head, then caught sight of Ren’s eyes and quietly looked away.

"Then... that gentleman can carry you, I suppose."

Kirky subtly pointed at Temar.

Without a second of hesitation, Temar scooped Ren up into his arms.

"Eek."

Ren let out a startled cry, and Temar froze solid in alarm.

"Did I hurt you? Did I lift you wrong? Was I holding too tight? Ren..."

"N-no! It just surprised me, that’s all!"

The tear tracks on his face were still dry against his skin, but unlike before, Ren was red now from embarrassment.

He looked unbearably adorable.

How long had it even been since he’d last been held in his brother’s arms like this?

His emotions had been plunging up and down like a roller coaster, draining every ounce of strength from his body, but tucked into Temar’s arms, he felt secure. Warm. It even made him want to stay there forever. Held in an embrace «N.o.v.e.l.i.g.h.t» like a cradle, Ren forgot Luman for a moment and wrapped his arms around Temar’s neck, but when he felt people looking at him, he ducked his face into Temar’s chest in embarrassment. Not that it actually hid him!

"Ahem. This way."

It wasn’t exactly unpleasant to look at, but for some reason it was still annoying as hell.

Letting out an awkward little cough, Kirky beckoned them over.

Following behind Kirky, Temar carrying Ren, along with Coco and Seton, headed farther in.

A maid who had been cleaning the blood from the floor quickly pulled the curtain aside, and the group came face-to-face with Luman, eyes wide open.

"Luman...!"

Even at Ren’s call, impossible to hide how glad he was, Luman didn’t move.

"What the hell. Why’s he like this?"

"Luman...?"

Ren’s voice turned cautious.

Those glittering gold eyes were fixed on the ceiling without the slightest movement.

His lashes didn’t tremble. His lips didn’t tremble.

He looked dried out, rigid as a dead branch. The blood had been wiped away, but traces of injury still remained all over him... the burst blood vessels in his eyes, the dried blood at his ears and nose. A wave of unease came crashing back over Ren.

His hands tightened around Temar’s neck. His breathing started to turn shallow.

"What happened to him, Kirky...!"

Coco scolded him under her breath. Watching Ren carefully, she pinched Kirky’s arm.

"T-that can’t be right. There’s no way. No way? Ah, come on. Surely not? Surely...?"

Tilting his head back and forth, Kirky walked up to Luman. Just as he grabbed his wrist to check his pulse, Luman’s eyes rolled.

His pupils widened, and it looked like his trembling lips were about to part.

Ren held his breath, his heart swelling like he was witnessing a miracle.

"Blegh!"

A low, cracked voice came out, wildly undercutting the moment. Gold eyes sparkled.

Luman couldn’t move a muscle, yet there he was, grinning.

No one looking at him was smiling.

"..."

"..."

Silence from Temar and Seton.

"...Wow. There’s actually someone worse than me."

That was Kirky, still holding Luman’s wrist, letting out a hollow laugh.

"You fucking—"

And last came Ren, full of pure fury.

"Heh heh heh."

The second he saw Luman laughing that empty, ridiculous laugh, murderous rage boiled up in Ren.

"You insane son of a— what the hell is wrong with you?! How can you pull a stunt like that?! Are you out of your fucking mind? Have you lost it?! What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"Oh, come now. Is that any way to speak to someone who just came back from the brink of death? Were you that worried about me? Watching Ren cry and cry like that broke my heart, but surely a fine scene deserves an encore, doesn’t it?"

Using that gorgeous face of his, Luman smiled as smoothly as melted butter, and Ren started wildly flailing his arms. Stuck as he was in Temar’s hold, his hands couldn’t reach Luman, but if Temar had set him down, it probably wouldn’t have ended with just grabbing him by the collar.

"Ren, stay still. You’ll fall."

"Aaaargh!"

Unable to contain his fury, Ren grabbed his own head and raged.

"That man is insane! He’s not in his right mind, that’s why he pulls bullshit like this!"

"Agreed."

Coco nodded at once.

"Ren. It’s rude to call him that man."

At Temar’s scolding, Ren suddenly had nothing to say.

The moment Ren got scolded instead, Luman awkwardly cleared his throat, feeling weirdly sorry.

"First of all, thank you for saving me, Priest Kirky."

At the greeting, all laughter gone from his face, Kirky nodded.

"It’s an honor to meet you, Hero! I’ve never seen anyone pull a prank more vicious than mine. I really thought you were dead. How do you not even blink? Even I was shocked when I saw his face! That pale face turned red and tears just kept falling, and he looked so pitiful and fragile! If I hadn’t spent over a decade training myself in the sacred art of pranks, I would’ve dropped to my knees and begged forgiveness on the spot!"

"What the hell are you even saying, Kirky? I’m embarrassed, so please shut up."

"Lady Coco! Why are you embarrassed? I saved two lives today!"

"More importantly, is Ren alright? What exactly is his condition?"

Cutting smoothly across Coco and Kirky’s bickering, Luman asked in a calm voice. A moment ago he’d been grinning after that sick prank, and now he wore such a serious face he looked like a completely different person.

Ren was so dumbfounded he couldn’t even speak.

If he’d had the strength, he would’ve ripped out every last strand of Luman’s hair.