I Am the Hero's Immature Younger Brother

“But this time, I wasn’t beside you.”

His voice sounded painful. Strangely enough, Ren’s mood improved almost immediately. The grief that had made him feel abandoned no longer weighed so heavily now.

“Why did you come? Do you even know what time it is?”

It was two in the morning. An hour so deep even the insects had gone to sleep. No one wandered the halls now; only the guards moved according to their watch.

“Why did you come?”

At Ren’s question, Luman could not answer right away.

Why was it that the words he had wanted to say vanished like foam the moment he faced him?

All those words that had drifted through his mind and crashed over him like waves. Why was the single sentence he most wanted to say heavier than all the rest? As if someone had tied an anchor to his mouth, his lips would not open easily.

Leaving all those countless words buried deep below, Luman managed to force out only a childish little sentence.

“Your hair.”

At the short remark, Ren tilted his head.

Hair? What was he talking about?

Luman swallowed a breath after blurting it out, then added awkwardly,

“Would you cut mine too? It keeps stabbing my eyes. It’s annoying.”

“Why me? I’m not a barber.”

Ren puffed out his lips.

No, seriously. He came all this way over something like that?!

But to Luman, it absolutely was not “something like that.” It was very important.

“It’s genuinely important to me. If I get hurt because I can’t see properly through my hair, that would be truly idiotic. My face might end up all over the kingdom newspapers, Ren.”

Urgency slipped into Luman’s usually lazy, careless tone.

Come to think of it, Luman’s hair really had gotten long.

Without realizing it, Ren reached out and toyed with the strands covering Luman’s forehead, as though measuring the length. Then their eyes met.

His eyelashes fluttered like densely layered fans full of sunlight.

“......You can just cut it.”

Ren abruptly turned his head away.

‘What was that? Why did I get startled?’

“Did you bring scissors?”

Ren changed the subject to calm his pounding heart. Behind him came Luman’s low reply.

“Mm.”

“Where are we supposed to cut it? Is there an empty room? Want to go to my room?”

For a moment, Luman looked as though he were thinking about something. Then a certain resolve crossed his face.

“What?! Where are we going?!”

Without warning, he grabbed Ren’s hand and started pulling him along. Startled, Ren raised his voice before hurriedly lowering it to a whisper.

It was not as though they were doing anything bad, but sneaking around at dawn still felt suspicious somehow.

After repeatedly asking if Ren’s legs hurt, Luman ignored every answer insisting he was fine and simply scooped him up into his arms.

After grabbing his hand whenever he pleased, now his touch had become completely fearless. What happened to the man who could not even touch his cheek and only hovered awkwardly in the air?! Somehow annoyed, Ren secretly pinched Luman’s side again and again. Every time, Luman’s mouth loosened into a smile.

Cutting through the night, Luman carried Ren to one of the castle towers.

“Wow......”

Hearing the quiet gasp, Luman draped the thick fur coat he had brought just in case over Ren’s shoulders.

“I don’t need it.”

“Just humor me. Winter’s almost over, but the seasons always come back around.”

Luman grinned as though he were saying something important.

So what, was he saying Ren should keep the coat too? Since winter came every year, did he mean he should wear it for a long time?

Like I just wear clothes carelessly or something.

“Why’s your mouth sticking out that far?”

“If you’re giving me a gift, then just give it to me. Why say weird things like that? Do I look like I treat clothes carelessly?!”

“Hm? Ah... I meant—”

“Then why stop halfway through?! Seriously!”

“Haha. Because you’re such a scatterbrain, Ren.”

Luman looked as though he had more to say, but closed his mouth instead. Too busy getting angry, Ren failed to properly notice his expression. Since the difference in height between them was so extreme, whenever Luman stood upright, Ren could only barely glimpse his high nose, nostrils, and lowered eyes.

“Ren. Come here for a second.”

“Can you stop saying my name like that?”

“How am I saying it?”

Luman looked genuinely confused.

Lately, every time Luman called his name, Ren felt as though something tickled around his ears. Like someone brushing him with feathers. But explaining that out loud was embarrassing. Ren muttered that it was nothing and shut his mouth.

Then he obediently walked over and stood beside Luman.

Luman carefully wrapped an arm around Ren’s shoulders and bent down. Then he took Ren’s arm and pointed beyond the wide mountains in the distance.

“Ren, that’s where we’re going.”

At his words, Ren narrowed his eyes to see more clearly.

The place Luman pointed toward. All Ren could see were the dark outlines of mountains. But he quietly nodded anyway.

“I thought it might give me strength if you knew.”

“I can’t see anything.”

“I know. Even so.”

After a long silence, Luman spoke again.

“This might be a difficult thing to ask, but... can I still say it?”

Ren stuck out his lower lip.

If I told you not to say it, would you really keep quiet? Then why even bring it up in the first place?! Since when did someone who lived just to tease people become this timid?

Seriously, everything about him was annoying.

But Ren did not want to say cruel things to someone leaving tomorrow, so he bit the inside of his lip.

Then he gave a rough little nod. Fine, say it. I’ll listen at least. That was exactly the sort of attitude it carried.

“Just once. Twenty days from now, whenever is fine. Could you come here just once and look toward that place?”

His voice sounded damp. It was not raining, so was this heavy air because of Luman? Ren deliberately avoided looking at his face. He was afraid that instead of his usual teasing smile, he might find something else there.

“Okay.”

“You’re not going to ask why?”

He was curious. Why ask something like this? What meaning could it possibly have?

Ren looked up at Luman. The moment their eyes met, Luman’s eyes curved softly. Sweeter than the macarons he had given him, sweeter than candied fruit. Yet within those eyes packed tightly with light like scattered sugar crystals, it felt as though someone had accidentally stepped on sharp shards of glass.

“What is it?”

Ren asked reluctantly.

“When battle gets difficult. If I think about you looking this way from here, I feel like it’ll give me strength.”

Seeing Ren’s wavering eyes, Luman hurriedly continued.

“Well, of course, the knees of indomitable Heroes would never actually buckle. But still. Don’t people get a little stronger when they think about a face they miss? Maybe a battle that should take a week will end in a single day instead.”

Luman smiled playfully.

Anyone listening would think they were heading off to some light skirmish instead of a war. One day? Forget one week. They would be lucky if it ended within half a year. Ren was a boy who knew very well how long wars could last.

“Will it become long like that time?”

“Like that time?”

Luman asked, still smiling.

“The Seven-Year War.”

“.......”

“Will it last like that again?”

Ren tightly grabbed Luman’s hand.

“Answer me, Luman.”

If it did, then the one welcoming them back would not be Ren, but his corpse.

He did not know how much longer his life would continue, but Ren could feel instinctively that his “time” was approaching.

No matter how long it lasted, it would not be seven years.

“It won’t.”

He could not guarantee it, but it felt like the only answer he could give.

Luman’s lips trembled faintly. Folding his eyes as though pretending to smile, he covered the corner of his mouth with his hand.

“I just hope you don’t get badly hurt.”

“I’ll pass that along. As for Temar......”

Luman frowned slightly and spoke apologetically.

“You still love your brother, don’t you, Ren?”

Calling Temar “big brother” in a teasing tone, Luman seemed to be trying to lighten the mood. Ren did not lower his sharp gaze.

“Temar is a Hero among Heroes. Quiet, responsible, someone who fulfills his duties completely. He’s one of the people who understands his obligations more clearly than anyone. Orders will always come before his own life.”

“I know that too.”

Ren cut him off. Luman shook his head and said that was not the point.

“Ren. You should listen to the end.”

Lifting the corner of his mouth, Luman carefully stroked Ren’s hair.

“Until now, I thought gold was the most precious thing in the world. But now, you’re more precious to me than gold, Ren.”

“......?”

For a moment, it felt like Luman’s breathing had sped up. But his next words came so quickly that Ren forgot about it almost immediately.

“In the same way, to Temar, you’ve become more important than anything else.”

“......I don’t need comfort like that.”

Ren’s reaction was colder than expected. But if Luman had only intended to bring it up and leave it there, he would never have said it at all.

“Why would I lie? There’s nothing for me to gain from it. If anything—”

If anything, if the brothers drifted apart and I could slip neatly into the space between them, I’d welcome it—

The selfish thought flashed through Luman’s head before he hurriedly brushed it away. Ren would be hurt by that, so he did not even want to imagine it.

Since when had he become this soft?

“If anything?”

Seeing Ren catch onto the unfinished sentence, Luman covered it with a vague laugh and tapped his own chest.

“A Hero’s heart burns hot too, just like an ordinary person’s. No armor can block it.”

“What are you even talking about? Since earlier, you’ve just been saying nonsense. Are you making fun of me?!”

First he asked for a haircut, and now he kept saying things Ren could not understand at all!

“There are people who become cold in order to protect what matters to them. Temar is one of those people.”

“.......”

Honestly, Ren could not agree with him.

Luman did not know his brother. The person who knew Temar best was Ren.

More than anything else, Temar cared about the kingdom’s future, the kingdom’s territory, the kingdom itself.

A man who lived by the Hero’s duty and the king’s command, a man whose reason for living was to sweep away the misfortune hanging over others’ heads.

Just because Ren was his family, just because he was his only younger brother, did not mean he could become Temar’s mission.

But Ren did not want to ruin Luman’s sincere attempt to comfort him, so he only bit down on the lips that twitched with the urge to argue back.

“He’s just bad at expressing it. But his heart will always stay beside you, Ren.”

Luman had never felt as lacking in eloquence as he did today.

But he could not explain it any other way.

He knew the fear Temar felt, and he knew why Temar could not speak easily.

Yet Luman felt it clearly. Temar had changed. And paradoxically, perhaps he had never changed at all.

“From the very beginning, the person Temar treasured most was you.”

Ren did not look like he was listening very carefully.

“Fine already. I’ll cut your hair. At this rate, we’ll be up all night.”

His soft voice sounded terribly low. The heaviness weighing on him was obvious. It did not seem like continuing this conversation would help anymore. Luman obediently closed his mouth and sat down in the tower.

He gazed out into the distance.

Pulling out the scissors, Ren spoke.

“Don’t complain if it turns out bad.”

“As if I would. Look who’s cutting it.”

Snip, snip.

The sound of hair being cut drifted through the air like the wind.

The pale, burnt-white strands fell onto the tower’s stone floor before quickly scattering away in the breeze.

The hair flying away on the wind looked like tangled white threads.

No—perhaps like a halo of moonlight unraveling through the air.

As Ren quietly watched him, his unfinished voice continued behind him.

It was such tender concern, it was almost intoxicating.

“And when I said not to get hurt earlier... that applies to you too, Luman.”