Becoming Professor Moriarty's Probability

It had already been a full day since my tearful reunion with my loyal underlings.

“... Hey, listen, girls. I admit that I’ve got a bit of a shady track record, and some of that’s on me.”

And now, here I was, lying on a bed in some hideout I had zero clue about.

“But don’t you think this is still a bit much?”

On my left, Princess Clay had entwined her arm with mine, and on my right, Silver Blaze was doing the same.

“Come on, say something, will you?”

To any outsider, this might have seemed like an enviable scene—two beautiful women clinging to me. But to me, it was nothing short of misery.

Why you ask? Because this situation had been going on for over 24 hours now.

At one point, I’d tried to excuse myself, saying I needed to use the bathroom, thinking I could catch my breath for a moment. But nope— they linked arms with me and followed me there too.

“”........””

Quietly, they stared at me from either side, their gazes dull and unrelenting.

“No, seriously, I’m about to cramp up here... Could you please, just for ten minutes, let me...”

“... Planning to run off again?”

I was practically begging, my arms feeling like they’d fall off at any moment, but Princess Clay’s icy voice from beside me immediately shut me up.

“Uh... Princess Clay. You see, I’ve actually turned human now.”

“... What?”

“... So, I can’t give you any more of my blood.”

As silence filled the room, I cautiously revealed the truth. Her gaze turned slightly vacant as she processed the information.

“I mean... well... the reason you followed me in the first place was because I was a true vampire, right?”

“.......”

“So now that I’ve lost my powers and become just an ordinary human... there’s really no reason for you to, you know, cling to me or feel atta...”

Before I could finish, my words were cut off as I suddenly found myself struggling for breath. My eyes widened in shock.

- Chuu...

“......!?”

Princess Clay had grabbed both my cheeks, and before I knew it, her tongue was in my mouth, exploring and tangling with mine.

What the...? Was this some new form of blood-sucking?

Yet, it didn’t feel like that. She wasn’t biting my tongue with her fangs, nor was she aiming for my neck or shoulder— places where she could easily draw blood if that’s what she wanted.

There was absolutely no reason for her to be doing this in such a... peculiar way.

“... Pwah.”

While I was left bewildered and utterly confused, she pulled back, her breath hot against my skin, her face flushed crimson as she stared directly into my eyes.

“W-What was that just now...?”

“... Ugh, haaah~”

“Princess Clay?”

She avoided my gaze, hastily wiping the sticky string of saliva that connected our lips with her sleeve.

“By now... surely you must have realised.”

“... Huh?”

Her words left me dumbfounded. My mind went blank, and I couldn’t even muster a response.

“I like you, you bumbling buffoon!!”

“Uh...”

Wait... Princess Clay was a tsundere? For real?

That haughty, privilege-laden, scheming woman? No way, that couldn’t be true.

It felt like my very understanding of reality was crumbling before me.

“In the end... in the end, you made me say it out loud... Are you satisfied now?”

“No, it’s not that... I didn’t rea—“

“Shut the hell up!”

With tears welling up in her eyes and her face glowing red, she murmured those words. I tried to stammer out some kind of excuse, but her sharp retort instantly cut me off.

- Crack!

“Argh...”

And just a few seconds later, her sharp fangs sank into my neck.

“P-Princess Clay...?”

“... You said you’ve turned human, didn’t you?”

“Y-Yeah, but...”

“Then I’ll just turn you back into a vampire.”

“Excuse me?”

Startled, I instinctively pushed her away. She stared at me intently, her voice trembling slightly as she muttered.

“You see... humans die so easily.”

“......”

“... If we’re going to live together for a few hundred years, turning you into a vampire is the logical solution.”

Hearing this, my brain momentarily short-circuited, leaving me with a dazed expression. She buried her face back into my neck, her voice soft as she added.

“I-I’ve chosen you as my mate... so just accept it.”

As she opened her mouth wide again, I quickly blurted out.

“... I, I don’t want to.”

“......!”

At that, she froze, her fangs just shy of piercing my shoulder, and stared at me with a bewildered expression.

“You... you don’t want me?”

“No, it’s not that...”

“... I-I’m sorry. I was wrong.”

Then, with a trembling voice on the verge of tears, she began pleading with me.

“I-I’ll work on my tone... and my attitude... I’ll try to change... Promise.”

“.......”

“I-I’ll even relinquish some of my authority... no, if you want, I’ll give it all to you... Please, please, please? I promise I’ll do better...”

The sight of her like this was so unlike Princess Clay that I felt like I was going through an episode of existential crisis.

“... I think you’re misunderstanding something. It’s not that I dislike you, Princess Clay.”

“T-Then?”

“I just don’t want to become a vampire...”

Unable to bring myself to outright say I didn’t like her, I gave a vague response. She blinked a few times, processing my words.

“B-But... then... we can’t stay together forever.”

“... We’ll just have to find another way.”

“R-Really...?”

When I said that, her flustered face turned an even deeper shade of crimson, if that was possible.

“... Fo-Forget everything I just said.”

Finally, she buried her burning face into my chest, murmuring in a voice so faint it was almost inaudible.

She must have just realised what she’d been muttering out loud this entire time.

“I never realised Princess Clay could be this adorable.”

“I said forget ittttttt...”

“... Haha.”

Awkwardly smiling, I lightly patted the back of Princess Clay, who had unexpectedly become unbearably cute in the two years I hadn’t seen her.

- Ssssshhhh...

“... Huh!?”

Suddenly, I felt a suffocating wave of murderous intent emanating from behind me. Cold sweat trickled down my back as I cautiously turned my gaze to the side.

“.........”

What entered my field of vision was none other than Silver Blaze, glaring at me with an icy expression I’d never seen on her before.

“Uh, well...”

“........”

“I mean, um...”

For the first time, I felt a genuine threat to my life from the usually sweet and adorable Blaze. Desperately searching for the reason, I tried to gauge her mood.

“... I’m sorry?”

Finally, I carefully pulled the neglected Blaze into my arms, attempting to console her.

“.......”

However, Blaze, usually so lively with her wagging tail, merely stared at me coldly from within my embrace, her tail limp.

- Smooch...

“... S-Sorry.”

As the tension thickened unbearably, I planted a kiss on her cheek and offered another apology.

“.........”

Yet, for some reason, her gaze only grew darker and more clouded.

... Screw it, whatever happens, happens.

With resignation washing over me, I closed my eyes and leaned in, pressing my lips against hers.

- Chuuu...

Mimicking what Princess Clay had done earlier, I slid my tongue between Blaze’s lips, exploring cautiously.

“”.........””

I had no idea how much time passed as I nervously moved my tongue, half-expecting it to be bitten off at any moment. Finally, I pulled back, wiping away the trail of saliva now connecting our lips with my sleeve.

“... Hehe.”

“Haah...”

At last, I saw Blaze’s tail wagging happily, her face lighting up with a radiant smile. I let out a quiet sigh of relief.

“Master’s saliva... it tastes better than carrots.”

- Lick...

“... I want to have even more of it from now on.”

And yet, Blaze leaned in, licking around my lips and whispering with narrowed eyes.

- Gooooooooooo...!

“......!?”

It was at that precise moment I felt another wave of intense, suffocating malice from behind me.

“.......”

“... Oh.”

Princess Clay, who had been momentarily neglected while I dealt with Blaze, was now glaring at me with a frosty expression, her aura downright chilling.

... Is this purgatory?

I finally realised I was trapped in an endless cycle of torment, but by then, it was far too late to do anything about it.

.

.

.

.

.

How much time had passed, I wasn’t sure anymore.

- Shhhhh...

“Girls, I’m sorry...”

For what felt like the umpteenth repeat of this cycle, I turned my weary gaze back toward Silver Blaze, my shirt rumpled, my trousers askew, and my face utterly hollow.

“That’s enough, both of you.”

“.......!?”

The sudden, chilling voice from the doorway made me flinch and glance upward.

“I doubt I assigned you to him so you could do... this.”

Standing at the door, Celestia Moran’s cold expression radiated an ominous aura as she muttered those words icily.

“... Who do you think you are, brat?”

“Grrrrrrr...”

Princess Clay and Blaze, who had been clinging to me from either side, began growling fiercely at her.

“... Oh? Would you like me to put you back in your place?”

“”.........””

“I’m ready whenever you are.”

As Moran stepped forward, her eyes gleaming with a chilling light, the two flinched and, to my surprise, fell into a tense silence.

“From now on, I’ll be the one managing the Master... You two, get outside and stand guard.”

“”.......””

“Did you not hear me?”

Moran’s voice dropped dangerously low as she threw open the door and pointed outside.

“... I said get out.”

A few seconds later, the two women reluctantly stood, glaring at Moran with thinly veiled disdain before finally exiting the room.

“Just you wait... brat.”

“... Grrrrr.”

Nevertheless, Moran paid them no mind, her gaze fixed solely on me the entire time.

“... Master~”

As soon as the door shut, her cold expression melted away, and she dashed over to my side with an innocent twinkle in her eyes.

“Do it to me too!”

“... Huh?”

“You know, what you were just doing to those girls.”

Her face lit up with expectation as she closed her eyes, clearly waiting.

“Uh...”

Scratching my head awkwardly, I hesitated before leaning down...

- Smooch...

... And gave her a small kiss on the cheek.

“”...........””

A heavy silence fell over the room.

“... What?”

Breaking the quiet, Moran tilted her head, her cold expression slipping through for just a moment as she stared at me with piercing eyes.

“What was that supposed to be, Master?”

“... I-I just did what I was doing earlier...”

“No, no, no. That’s not what I meant, Master.”

Her tone shifted into one of mock laughter, but her gaze carried an edge that sent cold sweat trickling down my back. I stammered nervously.

“W-Well... you’re...”

“I’m what?”

“You’re a... a kid.”

The moment those words left my mouth, the innocent smile on Moran’s face vanished without a trace.

“Me?”

“You’re, uh, 14 years old...”

“And?”

“I mean... um... uh...”

Caught in an explosive moment, I desperately scrambled for a way out.

... There’s only one option left.

Deciding to lean on what remained of her youthful innocence, I made up my mind to use my last resort.

“... Ack!?”

“.......!?”

Yes, even though I’d lost my vampire powers and was now an ordinary human, I still had one talent left.

“Kulluk, kullu...!”

“Master...?!”

That talent was acting.

.

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.

.

What are you, some kind of lizard that cuts off its own tail or something?1 ... Shh. Ignoring the system’s message that flashed before me, clearly judging me, I continued to roll around on the bed. “If this keeps up, I’m going to die... Ugh...” “....... Ah, ahhh.” I cautiously tested the waters, glancing at Moran for any reaction as I tried to spout a convincing line that might let me escape from this situation. “No, no, no, no, no, no, no...” “......?” “Haa, ugh... Ughhhh...” But within mere seconds, Moran completely spiralled into a panic. She clutched her head, pulling at her hair, and descended into hyperventilation right before my eyes. I froze, my act abruptly coming to a halt as I stared at her in shock. “If-if you die... you can’t die, you can’t die, you can’t die...” “... Uh, um.” “I’m sorry, I’msorryi’msorrysorryorry...” It seemed I had unintentionally triggered one of her deep-seated traumas. “D-Don’t die, please don’t die, don’t die, don’t die, I’m begging you...” Wow, you’re utter trash. “... This isn’t how it was supposed to go.” . . . . 𝒇𝙧𝙚𝓮𝙬𝙚𝓫𝒏𝓸𝓿𝓮𝒍.𝓬𝙤𝓶 . “Hmm...” Meanwhile, in the professor’s office, “... So, communication has been cut off.” The professor, who had been calmly seated, awaiting Moran’s report of a successful operation, finally ended the silent, unanswered call that had gone on for hours and rose from her seat. “Something’s not right.” Just like Charlotte, it was the moment she realised that something unusual had occurred. “... Kyaa!” “Ba-ba!” “Oh dear, are you hungry?” However, thanks to her maternal instincts kicking in shortly after, it would be quite some time before she took any action. Footnotes 1. This is a metaphor, usually means self-sabotage.

... Shh.

Ignoring the system’s message that flashed before me, clearly judging me, I continued to roll around on the bed.

“If this keeps up, I’m going to die... Ugh...”

“....... Ah, ahhh.”

I cautiously tested the waters, glancing at Moran for any reaction as I tried to spout a convincing line that might let me escape from this situation.

“No, no, no, no, no, no, no...”

“......?”

“Haa, ugh... Ughhhh...”

But within mere seconds, Moran completely spiralled into a panic. She clutched her head, pulling at her hair, and descended into hyperventilation right before my eyes. I froze, my act abruptly coming to a halt as I stared at her in shock.

“If-if you die... you can’t die, you can’t die, you can’t die...”

“... Uh, um.”

“I’m sorry, I’msorryi’msorrysorryorry...”

It seemed I had unintentionally triggered one of her deep-seated traumas.

“D-Don’t die, please don’t die, don’t die, don’t die, I’m begging you...”

Wow, you’re utter trash.

“... This isn’t how it was supposed to go.”

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. 𝒇𝙧𝙚𝓮𝙬𝙚𝓫𝒏𝓸𝓿𝓮𝒍.𝓬𝙤𝓶

.

“Hmm...”

Meanwhile, in the professor’s office,

“... So, communication has been cut off.”

The professor, who had been calmly seated, awaiting Moran’s report of a successful operation, finally ended the silent, unanswered call that had gone on for hours and rose from her seat.

“Something’s not right.”

Just like Charlotte, it was the moment she realised that something unusual had occurred.

“... Kyaa!”

“Ba-ba!”

“Oh dear, are you hungry?”

However, thanks to her maternal instincts kicking in shortly after, it would be quite some time before she took any action.

1. This is a metaphor, usually means self-sabotage.