A Wimp's Strategy Guide to Conquer the Tower

Japan’s Tower Climbing Division was in a bleak mood.

Councilor Tomoda was no different.

He’d been promoted to Manager of the Prime Minister’s Tower Climbing Division—a key post at the very core of power—thanks to the achievement of naturalizing Yoo Cheolmin, and now look at this mess.

The accomplishment that had earned him that promotion had turned into a trap that grabbed his ankle instead.

So even when Prime Minister Kawaguchi reprimanded him, he couldn’t offer a single excuse.

“What’s the cause, then? Why is he failing Floor 57 over and over in Japan when he cleared it just fine in Korea?”

“His condition has taken a hit...”

“He tried three times and failed, and you’re blaming his condition?”

“H-He says he doesn’t understand it himself.”

Even Prime Minister Kawaguchi was at his wit’s end.

Humiliated on live broadcast, approval ratings dropping by the day, and the Tower Collapse time limit creeping closer.

“‘Chicken rib’ is exactly the word. You can’t throw it away, but keeping it is useless.”

“I-I’m sorry!”

“Forty days is not generous. If Yoo Cheolmin doesn’t recover by then, how are you going to take responsibility?”

“We’re working on a solution.”

“Talk. Now. It had better be a plan that helps with clearing the Tower. Otherwise, you may find yourself posted to an embassy somewhere in Africa.”

Gulp.

After swallowing his dry spit—

“We request temporary naturalization from the U.S. government. Just for about one week.”

“That’s... your solution?”

“I used to be a diplomat, so I have some connections in the U.S. I’m confident. Please—just give me one chance.”

“Connections, huh. Hah.”

Prime Minister Kawaguchi laughed at Tomoda like it was ridiculous.

“More than me?”

“...Excuse me?”

“I asked if you have more political connections in the United States than I do—the Prime Minister.”

“Uh-uh-uh, n-no, what I meant was...”

“Leave for Congo in Africa tomorrow. If you don’t like it, submit your resignation.”

You idiot.

Does he think I’m doing this because I don’t know that?

To make an official request for temporary naturalization, you have to pay a tremendous price.

It’s not something you can cover with a few dollars.

On a national level, you have to concede a mountain of interests to the other side.

And besides, they’d return to their home country anyway.

That’s why we brought Yoo Cheolmin in secretly in the first place.

‘Haah...’

It felt like sinking into a swamp.

To be fair, Manager Tomoda’s words did have a point.

If Yoo Cheolmin couldn’t recover, they’d have no choice but to use the temporary naturalization card.

At the very least, before making an official request, they needed to ask whether it was even possible.

Because you could steel yourself and request it, only to be rejected.

*****

If a country has only one Tower, you just enter it. But if a country has multiple Towers, how do you get in?

When the System message appears, you select one and enter.

Like this.

[Please state the number of the Tower you wish to enter.]

So in the United States, the East is Tower No. 1 (NO.1), and the West is Tower No. 2 (NO.2).

The U.S. Department of Homeland Security, which oversees Tower climbing, pays more attention to the West Tower than the East Tower.

For a reason similar to Japan’s.

The West Tower was built along the San Andreas Fault.

If it collapses here, the entire American West gets wrecked.

Even the world’s best Player that the United States currently has was clearing the West Tower first.

Secretary McMillan of the Department of Homeland Security asked Antonio, the Director of Tower Clearing.

“So. You want to try renting the holy sword?”

“Player Gerald keeps pestering me, saying he wants to use it as soon as possible.”

“Tsk, tsk. I can imagine. He’s got item fever again.”

“Up to now, it’s the only confirmed holy-attribute item, isn’t it? They say it’s in a different league from light-attribute items.”

“There’s still plenty of time left on the Floor 67 time limit. Why rush to clear?”

“He wants to repeatedly clear Floor 66. For testing purposes.”

In other words, he wanted to confirm the item’s effect even if they had to pay an enormous rental fee.

Secretary McMillan was curious too.

When they took down the specter on West Tower Floor 66, they practically used up the entire time limit.

It was brutal.

For Player Gerald, and for the support team.

They’d built up experience on the East Tower and cleared earlier there than on the West.

But if they repeatedly cleared Floor 66 while equipped with the holy sword?

How much time would it shave off?

“What’s the rental fee? Did you name an amount?”

“I offered one million dollars, and they laughed in my face.”

“Hahaha! That’s on you. Think how many countries will be lining up to rent it—why would they hand it out cheap from the start?”

“I was just testing the waters once.”

Even a single light-attribute item had a base rental fee of three million dollars.

If the performance was decent, it went over five million.

“Assuming we rent the holy sword, what’s the maximum we can offer?”

“I think we’re fine up to ten million dollars. If the performance is good, that’s still cheap.”

He was right.

Some countries couldn’t rent it at all.

Japan, for example.

“You can rent it at the national level?”

“Yes.”

“Then rent it. We’ll make an official request through diplomatic channels.”

Use this chance to try it once.

To prepare for when they had to clear Floor 67 later—

“Anyway, this whole surprise naturalization stunt was Japan’s fault. Pulling that kind of thing just to clear their own Tower’s Floor 57? That wasn’t gentlemanly. They should’ve negotiated first.”

“Actually, the Prime Minister’s Office in Japan contacted us.”

“What did they say?”

“An informal question about whether temporary naturalization is possible for Players under the Department of Homeland Security.”

Secretary McMillan snickered.

“Sounds like the Player they naturalized didn’t live up to expectations.”

“You know about the incident in Japan, sir—”

“It could be a temporary adjustment issue. A change of environment, or psychological pressure from naturalization itself.”

That happened more often than you’d think.

No matter how high-level they were, how many Players died on low floors because of psychological problems?

“If it were just that, they wouldn’t be asking for temporary naturalization. It must be more serious than expected.”

“Heh heh heh. Then tell them temporary naturalization is possible. Plenty possible.”

“On what terms?”

“We squeeze them as hard as we can. We can even make them pay the holy sword rental fee. Drag negotiations out until the collapse time limit. The more desperate they get, the more we can extract.”

They were supposed to respond to the Tower as humanity together, but in international relations, it wasn’t like that at all.

Just look at what Japan did this time.

“Either way, now that the existence of a holy-attribute item has been confirmed, we should secure one too.”

“We’ve already sent a message to every Player in the country. If they’re keeping an item in their Inventory that seems like it could be holy-attribute—or if they obtain one as a reward—we’ll buy it at a high price.”

“Good! Keep that going, and let’s confirm the holy sword’s performance first.”

Item rental deals had existed for a long time.

Same with temporary Player naturalization.

The United States also had Players who specialized in naturalization.

You needed mutual trust for those things to be possible.

Otherwise, you couldn’t even dare to try.

And accidents happened constantly.

Borrow an item and run after stuffing it into your Inventory, or temporarily naturalize a Player and have them never return.

But from the United States’ perspective, that wasn’t their problem at all.

If someone tried that?

They wouldn’t be worrying about Tower Collapse—they’d be worrying about U.S. fighter jets arriving on an aircraft carrier first.

*****

The day after clearing Floor 32.

Juhyeok summoned all the summoned entities.

As soon as she arrived, Gyeon Dallae sat at the dining table drawing talismans.

Four in total.

On yellow talisman paper, she dipped her brush in red cinnabar ink and drew bizarre shapes and letters.

“So I just have to carry this on me, right?”

“That is correct. It is a perception-interference talisman. They will recognize you as human, but they will not be able to see your true nature. They will only think, ‘Ah, just an ordinary passerby.’”

Even hearing it sounded incredible.

“But would you look at Meatshield? He’s so big—won’t people recognize him anyway, Princess?”

“Perception interference will apply. He will only be a tall person. As long as he is careful not to bump into anyone...”

So that’s how it works?

“Meatshield, be careful not to shoulder-check people while we’re walking.”

“Check? Is that something you eat?”

Cossack stepped in with an exasperated look.

“It means don’t crash into people, you little bastard!”

“Got it.”

Let’s try it first.

Whether the talisman really worked.

There had to be limits.

For example, CCTV.

Based on the nature of the talisman, interference clearly wouldn’t apply to video captured through a camera.

Still, it wasn’t like CCTV covered every single corner of an officetel.

At minimum, there was none inside his unit or in the hallway. Only at the building entrance and for exterior surveillance.

Privacy issues.

Who likes other people watching exactly who comes and goes from their home?

Juhyeok slipped the talisman into his pocket.

Cossack too.

Gyeon Dallae too.

Meatshield too.

“Let’s go out now.”

“I’m real nervous. Especially scared Meatshield’ll get caught. This guy’s size is no joke.”

“Are you daring to look down on my ritual arts?”

“No, I’m just saying it could happen. Don’t misunderstand.”

“This bastard?”

Juhyeok raised a hand to stop them.

“Shh. Please be quiet.”

Gyeon Dallae and Cossack—

Their personalities were so distinct that lately they sometimes clashed.

“Let’s not fight among ourselves. When you two bicker, my heart just drops.”

At Juhyeok’s scolding, both of them lowered their heads.

“And Princess Gyeon Dallae, don’t talk to Cossack like that, either. Cossack is being polite to you, but you keep calling him ‘this bastard’ and ‘that bastard’—that seems like a problem.”

“This girl shall gladly accept the sin of upsetting Master’s feelings.”

Gyeon Dallae had been born a princess.

Of course talking down to people was a habit for her.

But was this some Celestial Empire?

Sometimes when she started yelling, even Juhyeok flinched.

Maybe it was a good chance to take her down a peg.

“Then speak politely to Cossack.”

“...What?”

“Hurry.”

“Mm...”

As a summoned entity, she had to obey Juhyeok’s words.

So after hesitating a little, Gyeon Dallae finally spoke.

“Cossack. I think I went too far. I’ll be careful from now on.”

“Yes, ma’am!”

“But! If you are disloyal to Master Bong or behave rudely with reckless insolence, I will never tolerate it!”

“...Yes, ma’am.”

Wow.

She didn’t lose any of her swagger at all.

Must be in her nature.

Now, for real, let’s go.

Juhyeok opened the door to the officetel and stepped outside.

The ❀ Nоvеlігht ❀ (Don’t copy, read here) three of them followed behind him.

They took the elevator down and reached the first floor. As they passed by the security office where the guards were gathered...

‘Huh?’

They really don’t recognize me?

‘Whoa...!’

Normally, when an elite Player headed out, they would’ve immediately asked where he was going and offered to escort him.

Looks like they recognized him as an ordinary resident.

This officetel housed elite Players, regular contract Players, and even lots of civilians.

Still, they wouldn’t know for sure until he fully left.

“Have a good one.”

“Yes.”

That settled it.

Perception-interference talisman.

This is insane.

It felt... weird.

No one looked at him strangely.

“It’s really incredible, Princess Gyeon Dallae.”

“It is not difficult.”

“The talisman’s effect is unbelievable. You really are SSR.”

“Is that so?”

Gyeon Dallae smiled, pleased by the praise.

And Cossack, too—

“This is the best. Summoner Bong acknowledged you. You’re amazing!”

Gyeon Dallae replied with a strange smile at Cossack’s words.

“Cossack, I gratefully accept your praise. However, you too must cultivate yourself—again, and again. Sweet words that tickle the ear do please Master Bong, but at times, giving practical help is the path that truly serves Master Bong.”

“...Yes, yes ma’am.”

Oh man.

Dead center.

What she really meant was this.

Cossack, what do you even do?

Stop flattering and do something useful.

Don’t think you can get by on a few words—help him.

Honestly, yelling would’ve been better.

That probably hurt more.

Did I mess up telling her to be polite?

Can she do other talismans besides this?

Like—

“Uh, do you have talismans that make you healthier?”

“Of course. There is a health talisman. It lets you live well without small illnesses, within the lifespan you are fated to have.”

Oh!

“Then later, three of those...”

“Just give the order.”

For Dad, Mom, and my brother.

“And... what about luck or something?”

“There is one. The effect is not very great, so it only applies to small luck.”

“Then three of those too.”

“I understand.”

Ahh!

I see Gyeon Dallae in a new light.

‘She’s a total treasure chest.’

I feel bad.

Why did I scold her earlier?

Honestly, Cossack kind of deserved it.

All he does is flatter like some schemer.

“One more question.”

“Yes.”

“Um... uh, so... a talisman that... helps you get a girlfriend?”

“Do you mean a fate talisman? It increases the probability of finding your partner. I will make it for you.”

“I see. ...I’m not asking because I need it. I was asking to give it to my brother.”

“...”

“I’m serious.”

Cossack immediately jumped in.

“That’s right. Of course you’re giving it to your brother. Why would Summoner Bong need a fate talisman? Just existing makes your halo shine. If I were a woman, I’d ask you out on the spot. Hehehehe.”

Nod nod.

Cossack really does have a good eye for people.

Sometimes, he’s weirdly wise.

Either way, thanks to that, Juhyeok could walk around Seoul comfortably with the three summoned entities.

Juhyeok and his party strode around sightseeing like country bumpkins.

Meatshield, who’d been warned ahead of time, walked with big swaying steps while avoiding people, but—

“Hey! That’s the street!”

“This is the widest.”

“You’ll crash into someone!”

“A warrior is sturdy.”

“You think I’m worried about you? I’m worried about the car that’ll get totaled after it hits you!”

Meatshield scratched his head and stepped back onto the sidewalk.

Cossack seemed familiar with modern civilization, since he clearly knew the difference between the street and the sidewalk.

“Cossack, was the world you were summoned from like this?”

“It was. Similar, but nothing was intact. Buildings were collapsed, and the cars were rusted. Seeing cars actually moving like that—I only saw that after coming to this world.”

“Ah.”

He said it was a ruined world, right?

Gyeon Dallae also calmly surveyed the streets of Seoul.

And the people passing by.

“Everyone lives in such a hurry. It seems there is no leisure.”

“That’s just how this world is.”

“It is abundant, yet the hearts of its people seem poor.”

She keeps hitting dead center.

Either way, since we came out, we should walk around as much as we want.

Honestly, this was the first time for Juhyeok too.

The experience of strolling around the streets with friends.

And these were no ordinary friends.

A ruthless assassin, a barbarian warrior, and the foremost shamaness of an imperial court.

“So what do we do now?”

“Let’s go eat meat. Beef!”

“Oooo! That’s expensive meat. I’ll use my judgment and eat carefully.”

“You can eat a lot.”

“Uh, Meatshield is here too, right?”

“So what! Let’s order like crazy. Huh? Don’t chicken out!”

“Good! I trust Summoner Bong!”

How much could they even eat?

If they ate too much, they’d get sick of it.

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